RECENTLY DECEASED

A moment of silence.

That's all I asked for, and these sons of bitches wouldn't give it to me.

To quote a cultural icon, "Who's laughing now?"

Coincidentally enough, this photo captured the last few moments of this pussy's life. ---------------------------------------------------

Somehow, this poor thing didn't even see it comin'. I told him we were going to the zoo. ---------------------------------------------------

A lesson to those kitties who refuse to perform. These precious things will find a new home in the bottom of a dumpster. ---------------------------------------------------

I don't want to talk about it. ---------------------------------------------------

I caught these two knuckleheads trying to escape. When are they going to learn? ---------------------------------------------------

I told poor Sammy that C4 isn't a toy. I'm gonna miss this cute little guy. He had such potential. Look at that sweet ass. ---------------------------------------------------

I don't know what happened with Crack and Smack. Judging from the track marks, I'd say it was an O.D. ---------------------------------------------------

Shit-stain should have known better than to play with my favorite fan. I got my camera, plugged in the fan and let nature take it's course. ---------------------------------------------------

You can guess what happened next. That's right, she called the cops. This little son of a bitch almost put me out of business. It's a good thing I'm a fast talker. ---------------------------------------------------

Sadly, Sunshine blew her brains out only days after this picture was taken. She couldn't stand living after we lost Monkey. Click here for the Monkey memorial page. ---------------------------------------------------

A picture's worth a thousand... dollars? That's a really stupid expression. This picture ain't worth but two things... Jack... and shit There's actually a really funny story behind this picture... heh. Yeah, it's not worth the time it would take to tell it, though. ---------------------------------------------------

Someone bet me $12 that I couldn't tie one of my cats into a knot. I bet him $16 that I could tie four of them in a knot in less than four minutes. I lost the bet, but not without first achieving some interesting results. ---------------------------------------------------