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My Thoughts
Monday, 7 November 2005
School and Great Boys
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: nothing
Life is going great, amazingly. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a month now and he makes me happy. Probably the happiest I've been in a while. He just makes me feel great. There's no way I can put it in words. He's better than all the other guys I've ever had any sort of a relationship with whether that be just friends or in a more romantic sense. He's there for me and he likes me for who I am. He just makes me feel good both inside and out.

But yeah that's my romantic life. The rest of my life is going good to, other than school which is a pain in my ass. I don't want to go anymore and I have way too many papers due because I'm a procrastinator. I will do things 5 minutes before they are due instead of doing them when I find out about them. Thats just the way I am. So in that aspect of my life, I am extremely stressed. Otherwise, I'm doing good.Kelly Clarkson - Addicted

Posted by oz2/jess at 6:12 PM EST
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Thursday, 27 October 2005
More on Guys...well, kind of
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: nothing
My life is way too hectic. I now have a new boyfriend which makes my life better and easier. I know when we're hanging out together and I can actually get a hold of him. He doesn't make excuses which is great. He's a pretty decent guy which makes me happy.

Posted by oz2/jess at 2:34 PM EDT
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Sunday, 18 September 2005
Me = Miserable
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Alkaline Trio
I'm currently pretty miserable all because of guys. I like guys, but they can be a pain and incredibly annoying and stupid and just plain troublesome. I'm currently having guy issues. I have a boyfriend and I have this other guy who I kind of like and I guess he likes me. My bf can be a bit of a jerk and this other guy seems nice and not so much of a jerk. I don't know what to do. My friends say I should break up with my bf and go for this other guy, but I don't know cause I don't want to lose my bf...we've been friends for way too long. So yeah lots of drama and boy issues which just makes me want to crawl up into a nice dark corner and cry myself to death. It's not that great of a feeling. Not to mention all the pressure of school on top of all this. I hate it!!!!

Posted by oz2/jess at 3:04 PM EDT
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Monday, 5 September 2005
High School and Cliques
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Breaking Benjamin
So I decided to create yet another blog. I've created too many of these things in the past year, but I never seem to stick with it. I had a total of 3 with AOL. Two were actual Journal like things and the third was one of RED AOL Blog things that didn't really pan out since no one was reading it and the same thing will probably end up happening with this one as well. My other Blog that I have and have recently been updating is with MySpace.

Yes I joined MySpace, but probably not for the reasons everyone else decided to join it. I originally joined MySpace for games. Not really to meet people or anything like that. I'm not really one to actually meet people. I'm pretty much happy in my own little sphere without anyone to really bother me. Now that I've started college I'm starting to want to get out of my own little sphere but am unable to actually do so. I have several reasons why this is so. One of the main ones is that I'm afraid of what people will think. I am paranoid, I guess. I'm afraid that people will hate me for who I am and will talk about me behind my back. That's just the way I am. I went to a small high school. There was less than 120 people in my graduating class. There is probably less than 500 people in the whole high school. Not to mention the fact that everyone had their own little cliques. If you weren't in their little clique then it seemed as if you weren't alive. High school is one of the worst places in the world. If you want to send someone to Hell, send them to a High School. Not to mention the fact that everyone probably talked about everyone behind their backs. I know people had to of talked about me and I don't really care that they did. Do I know what they said about me? No I don't nor do I really care. All they probably said was that I was too quiet and because of that they may have labeled me a so-called freak. Not to mention the fact that my best friend was pregnant our senior year and they probably talked bad about her as well which in turn had them talking bad about me for whatever reason. Then there was probably my choice of a boyfriend who I'm still with. Do I know what they were probably thinking about him? No nor do I care. They were probably saying that I was crazy for being with him and that I could probably get a much better guy. Whether that mean cuter or whatever else.

People in High School are extremely fickle. If you don't have the right clothes, then you aren't in the in crowd no matter how much people may deny it. They know it's true and they shouldn't deny it. There is no reason to. People also almost always talk behind people's backs no matter what and the girls almost always stab other girls in the back as well. It doesn't matter who you are or what H.S. you go to there are always going to cliques no matter how much people may deny it. In my senior year, people said that the senior class did not have cliques. That was a lie. There were still cliques. Not everyone talked to everyone else. Believe me. I refused to talk to people because they were never nice or really all that friendly to me before and I figured why should I be friendly to them all of a sudden. I'm sure there were other people who felt exactly the same way. I know my best friend did. She didn't and doesn't care what anyone really thinks about her which is great. The difference between us is that I'll say it doesn't matter what people think about me, but it really does matter.

Posted by oz2/jess at 9:45 PM EDT
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