And for his sexual preference choice
I hate him ‘cause he looks like Cher
After she’s had sex with a grizzly bear
I hate him for his lack of balls
And he stole my father’s overalls!
I hate him ‘cause he smells like cheese
And gave me an incurable disease
I hate him because his name is “Sam”
Which rhymes with “Who can suck balls? I can!”
I hate him and his family too
For the things they did to that Emu
I hate him because he’s a friend of mine
And because he goes to a school of Swines!
I hate him with much exclamations!!!!
Is that enough of an explanation?
No? Well here’s another reason
He bombed Bali, some would call that treason
He’s a terrorist that little Sam
And he has impure thoughts about his Nan
Is this a declaration of war?
I don’t know – but his mum’s a whore!
Sorry, that one was out of bounds
But she could do to lose a few pounds
Whoops! Right there, I slipped again
I wish I was a hen.
This poem is probably already done
But I can’t stop, it’s so much fun!
There are so many reasons why I hate him
He likes to drug and slaughter dolphins
And don’t get me started on the theories he has
That guy has smoked way too much maz
In France he spoke to himself
So I hate him for his bad mental health
I hate him and his naked supermodels
When he goes swimming he doesn’t wear goggles!
I hate him ‘cause he killed my parents
And then sold me to some guy named Clarence
I hate him and his trendy jeans
I hate his families fucking genes!
I hate him for what he said about Eddie’s sister
Where, Sam, did you say you’d kick her?
I hate him for invading all my dreams
And the way he makes fun of bags made of beams
I hate him for hanging around me in Lit
Stolen Generation? He don’t give a shit
What about that whole human candle plan?
That was pretty fucked up – even for Sam
I hate him because he’s stolen my blood three times
When he freestyles he steals my rhymes
PLUS, the guy still has my jacket
I want it.
Where else can I go from here?
Already made a joke ‘bout him being queer
I guess I’ll just let this poem end
I don’t hate you Sam – but you’re not my friend
Tell Corey why you hate Sam in the guestbook. Or, if you ARE Sam, explain yourself sicko!
