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Let me simplify this for you.
See, for the past six months or so I've espoused my own virtue while tearing down the facade of professional wrestling. I've waxed lyrical on the many facets of this industry that corrupt and yes, even destroy, most of those who choose to take part. I've explained why I have jumped back in to that wretched pool.
But you still don't understand me. None of you. Least of all those like Chris Freytag and Shabree Reddington who claim to know me all too well.
But hey, shouldn't you have all learnt not to listen to a word vomited out by the so-called "Freytag Effect"?
For months now they've talked. And talked and talked. And yet, for all that talking, what have they achieved?
Shabree's acting the part of a mosquito. Trying to leech heat from Brent Kersh, trying to pick a fight with someone who, if they chose, could swat her away in an instant.
Chris Freytag's obviously trying to set TWD record for most submission losses.
And yet they just keep talking. More than that, they keep talking about me. Attacking my virtue, my integrity and my honour. Claiming I'm no more than a whore. And all of this, they do, to distract from themselves. To distract you, the viewing audience, from the fact that aside from a few flukey victories and sneak attacks, they've achieved no more than Adam Young did in this company.
So allow me to simplify this for you. To return the critical analysis the Freytag Effect have so relished throwing in my direction. See, having watched the Freytag Effect ever since they arrived in TWD, I've learnt a lot about them. I've gotten a sense of who they are as competitors. Who they are as people. And what I've learnt about them can be fit under one easy-to-use label:
The three D's.
Three words starting with 'D' that perfectly encapsulate what it is that makes the Freytag Effect what they are.
1: Denial.
Now this one is obvious. See, this pair are incredibly narrow-minded. They're stubborn, arrogant and most importantly, stubborn in their arrogance. They believe that they are the best. They believe this in spite of all evidence to the contrary. And what do they use to combat that evidence? Denial, of course.
They say they'll win Tag Team Turmoil and then they lose: "Hey, that match was chaos! It doesn't matter who won!"
They say they're the only "real" Tag Team in TWD despite Krunch and I having wrestled just as many times as a team. "Yeah, but you're only it in for yourselves! You're not united like us!"
They say that our reign as Champions has been no more impressive that O'Malley and Filipe's. Then tell us, guys, how is it that around our waist, the Tag Titles have become Main Event-level straps? Oh, let me guess: "Because we're chasing them!"
Deny, deny, deny. The motto of criminal and wrestler alike. And just one of the many crutches used by the Freytag Effect in order to protect their house of delusion.
D number 2:
Deflection.
This has been the go-to trick for this pair as of late, what with having no big victories to discuss and the like. See, for all their flaws, there's no denying that these two have sharp tongues. They can come up with some snappy insults. Some nice one-liners, disparaging remarks designed to have the audience saying "Burn!" But it's just a symptom of their failure. A result of their mediocrity. Because, honestly, would they need all those acerbic taunts if they were actually winning matches? Of course not. They rely on their mouths because their skillz can't pay the billz, ya'll. And so when they fail, as they inevitably, always do, they deflect. They point out the imagined weaknesses of others. They label Krunch "boring" and me "unoriginal" despite the fact that over the past month and a half we've done nothing but beat the ever-loving shit out of them show-to-show. They deflect away from themselves because they know that if they were held to any kind of close scrutiny, this aura of "next big thing" they have going for them would disappear quicker than Chris Freytag's desire to fight out of a submission hold.
See, I can do one-liners too.
Moving on, however, to the third and most important 'D' of all. The one that truly fits the Freytag Effect into their sad little pigeon-hole:
Defeat.
Yup. The one thing all pro-wrestlers try and avoid is the one thing the Freytag Effect are becoming expertly good at. Whether it be Chris Freytag defying his bravado and slapping the mat in cowardice and submission or even Shabree Reddington exposing her head for a brutal chair shot from yours truly, the recent escapades of The Freytag Effect have been a great guide in How Not To Win. And it's this constant stream of humilation and defeat that fuels the first two D's. They lose, they deny it. They're pressed, they deflect and on the wretched cycle goes.
It's boring and it's predictable.
But so are Krunch and I, right?
We're also the Tag Team Champions.
And no matter how much you covet our straps, no matter how you try and twist logic to present yourselves as our superiors, ain't nothing going to change that, especially not your denials and deflections.
We fade in to find Jamie Krenshaw, as has become somewhat customary, leaning back in his comfy leather recliner. Laying on his lap is his Tag Team Championship belt. Sitting by his feet, the Champion's Case. And behind him, two giant plasma screens. On them, playing and replaying in a constant loop are images of Chris Freytag. On the television over Krenshaw's right shoulder, Freytag taps out to the might of the Down Under Deathlock. On the screen over Krenshaw's left shoulder: Freytag tapping again, this time to a Dragon Sleeper. Jamie casually turns and looks at both screens and then faces the camera with a smirk.
JAMIE: You were right, Chris. I couldn't resist.
Jamie gestures to the screens behind him.
JAMIE: But it makes for nice decoration, don't ya think?
The smirk widens.
JAMIE: But you asked, "What does it mean" What do my victories over you mean in the grand scheme of things? Once could argue it gives me the momentum heading into our title match. Sure, you refuse to submit to the stigma that submission losses are more humiliating than pinfall losses and that's fair, I guess. But be honest. You've now lost to me twice in similar circumstances. What does this mean? It means I know how to beat you and, as yet, you've not figured out a way to combat that. It means you'll be second guessing yourself whenever you're up close to me, wondering whether I'll snap you into a hold you'll be unable to escape. It means all your long-winded rants and bragadocious blathering fly in the face of actual evidence. It means now when you claim that you'll beat me, nobody actually takes it seriously. That's what it means, Chris.
Wink.
JAMIE: And what's your latest deflection? That this loss didn't hurt. That despite your so-called passion for besting the competition, when the competition bests you it doesn't really matter. Seems a tad contradictory, Chris. You love to win but don't mind losing? You honestly expect me to believe that? On top of that, in a moment so predictable I honestly thought you'd avoid it, you claimed that this past match didn't matter. It's the Title match that matters. And this one matters more than Tag Turmoil because this won't be "multi-man chaos". You're a one-man excuse factory, Chris. So tell me this: How will you justify it when you and Shabree lose two-on-two in a standard tag team match for the titles? I eagerly anticipate that promo because, given the hole you've dug for yourself with your words over the past month, nothing short of a "we were wrong" statement and your prompt resignation will do.
Pause.
JAMIE: But that's the future. Let's talk about now. Let's talk about Number 1 Contenders Chris Freytag and Shabree Reddington. Moreoever, let's discuss some of the sillier claims they've made. Like how Krunch and I have had a mediocre run as Tag Team Champions. Please, if you're going to make inflammatory remarks, at least try to keep them somewhat grounded in reality. Newsflash: Krunch and I are the ONLY Champs this company has. We're the Main Event. Before we won the Tag Team Titles, they bounced around between midcarders forced together so they could ascend the ranks. People only competed for the Tag straps because they had to in order to compete for singles titles. Tag Team Wrestling in this federation was DEAD before we came along, won those titles and made them mean something. And I know, you'll claim that your arrival was what got the tag division going and in a way it was. You eliminated the last pair of champions. You eradicated the stain that had blemished these titles. You made them clean for me and Krunch. And thanks for that.
Thumbs up.
JAMIE: But if you think these straps are somehow your property, you're deluded. Krunch and I, despite our seperate agendas and beliefs, are solid gold in that ring. We're a unit. We're every bit as good as you and that much better. Don't make the mistake of thinking because we don't share hotel rooms and sit around braiding each others' hair talking strategy that we're not a team. We're the best team in this company, hence the gold. We each understand our parts to play and we play them to perfection. You can try to shit-stir all you want by calling Krunch my "pimp" and saying that I'm the only thing making him relevant. It's a nice try at sowing seeds of dissension but, guys, come on. Both Krunch and I have been at this game for a long time. We both know where we stand with one another and a few misguided taunts from proven losers isn't going to change a thing.
A shake of the head.
JAMIE: Hey, I'll tell you something you may not know, though. You say The Moderators won't bail me out if I lose this match? You're completely right. Know why? The Moderators would love for you to win. That's the truth. They'd LOVE it. You two, despite your myriad flaws and constant failures, do attract attention. Granted, it's the kind of negative attention I'd associate with a screaming child on a lengthy flight, but it's attention nonetheless. For whatever misguided reason, people do seem to care about you. But that's not why The Moderators would prefer you come out of our match with the Tag Team Titles. No, that reason falls with me. See, since I got here, I've been the cornerstone of this company. I've been the Draw and the Main Event, even when my short tenure relegated me to wrestling undercard matches. Now, it's my time. The transition Shabree spoke of is happening. But it revolves around me. The mediocre reign of Marcus T is thankfully over and it's time for TWD to have a proper champion. A respectable name to put on the marquee. The Moderators want me in their Main Events and they want me there for a long time. Hence, they'd probably prefer if I didn't hold two sets of titles. Wouldn't want me to get burnt out and pull a Kingpin. But that notion severely underestimates my prowess, my drive and my undeniable ability. I will become World Champion at Devil's Dance but I'm not letting go of this title on the way. It means too much for me. Honestly, imagine: Jamie Krenshaw as TWD's first ever Double-Champion.
Ca-fucking-ching.
JAMIE: Is there any better way to expediate the process of me getting out of this industry than if I simply take it by storm? If I beat all who come against me, all the while holding all the gold in the company? Once again, Chris and Shabree, it comes down to motivation. My motivation to save my family versus Chris Freytag's motivation to "piss on everyone" (by the way, Chris, you're really exposing your "water-sports" fetish with all this urine talk). My motivation to live my life in perfect harmony versus Shabree Reddington's motivation to be respected in an industry full of men who are just waiting for her tits to pop out in a match.
A wry grin.
JAMIE: The pair of you, as is par the course, are acting like the titles are already won. You're treating me and Krunch like placeholders. Like paper champions. Your words portray a confidence you haven't earned and you don't deserve. Nobody has beaten us. Either of us. Whether that be in singles competition or tag team competition. We are undefeatable. Whilst you two, with your incessant bragging in spite of incessant defeats, you're unbelievable.
Jamie leans forward in his chair.
JAMIE: And the odds of you guys actually beating us for the Tag Team Titles? Unbackable. But keep talking, guys. Your denial is like a drug to me.
Cut.
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 It's not my fault you're failing. |