|
Gloriously overblown orchestral music sweeps from your speakers and tugs at your heart. A string section works hard, pushing forth sounds of beauty that you cannot deny. Acoompanying this wonderful music are images. Images so magnificent, so beautiful that even this music can't compare. Over the images, occasionally, there is commentary.
The images are from Supercard II. And they'll live in your hearts and minds forever.
Footage shows Krunch and Jamie Krenshaw viciously tearing at Filipe Barroqueiro...
Bib Brady: LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS! KRUNCH HAS FILIPE UNDER THE INFLUENCE! KRENSHAW HAS HIM IN A CROSSFACE! A DOUBLE SUBMISSION MOVE!
Gary Yahtz: He's tapping out. No way he was going to survive that one. That was just a nasty double team.
Bill Young: FILIPE BARROQUEIRO AND ENO REDRUM HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
We cut to footage showing Jamie Krenshaw locking in supposed "technical expert" Chris Freytag in the Down Under Deathlock...
Gary Yahtz: THERE IT IS! THE DOWN UNDER DEATHLOCK! THAT'S KRENSHAW'S TRADEMARK SUBMISSION!
Bib Brady: SHABREE SEES HIM IN PAIN. SHE'S COMING OVE... DROP TOE HOLD FROM SABER!
Gary Yahtz: SABER GETS UP! ANKLE LOCK! SABER HAS SHABREE IN AN ANKLE LOCK! SHE CAN'T GET OVER TO HELP THE ASSASSIN!
Bib Brady: FREYTAG IS REACHING FOR THE ROPES! HE CAN'T GET THE... HE TAPS! FREYTAG TAPS!
Bill Young: THE FREYTAG EFFECT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Bib Brady: WE'RE HEADS UP! THIS IS IT! THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! KRENSHAW AND KRUNCH! RIGHT DOWN TO THE WIRE!
We cut to more footage, this time of Saber performing a Shooting Star Press only to have Jamie escape the pinfall...
Bib Brady: BIG IMPACT! A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! HE'S GOT THE COVER!
Gary Yahtz: 1.... 2..... FOOT ON THE ROPES!
Crowd: OOOOHHHHH!
Bib Brady: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
Gary Yahtz: I'M WITH YOU!
And footage of Krunch, Krenshaw's handpicked partner, proving again the unquestionable wisdom of the Virtuoso of Violence...
Bib Brady: OH MY GOD! WHAT IMPACT! CRAWFORD IS OUTSIDE THE RING! SABER IS TAKING ON KRUNCH! MULTIPLE PUNCHES TO THE HEAD!
Gary Yahtz: SETTING HIM UP FOR THE RIDE!
Bib Brady: Whips him in.. reversal by Krunch. Saber on the retu... UNDER THE INFLUENCE! UNDER THE INFLUENCE!
Gary Yahtz: HE'S GOT HIM HOOKED! HE'S GOT HIM HOOKED!
Bib Brady: SABER IS FIGHTING WITH ALL THAT HE HAS LEFT! LOOK AT HIM, SHOUTING OUT THE PAIN! KRUNCH HAS HIS ROLLING LEG SLEEPER LOCKED IN TIGHT! THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO!
Gary Yahtz: HE'S TRYING FOR THE ROPES! LOOK AT THIS FACE! THIS IS KILLING HIM!
Bib Brady: CRAWFORD IS TRYING TO GET UP INTO THE RING! HE'S REACHING UNDER THE ROPES!
Gary Yahtz: HE TAPPED OUT! SABER TAPPED OUT! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Bill Young: Your winner of this match and NEW TWD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... JAMIE KRENSHAW AND KRUNCH!
Following that, the money shot, footage of Krunch and Jamie Krenshaw standing victorious, having vanquished five other teams, standing as your Tag Team Champions. It's enough to bring a tear to the eye. And as the final image fades out, so too does the wonderful musical accompinent. From the beauty of those scenes, we are brought to jarring reality as we cut to the studio of Australia's premier sporting chat show Kicking Balls! Sitting behind a desk is the host, compere and sports journalist extraordinare, Tony Prescott .
 Looking pleased with what he's just seen, Tony speaks. TONY: What an amazing video package and we'd like to thank Jamie Krenshaw once again for supplying us with that. The screen suddenly splits in two as Jamie stands outside his apartment complex, wearing his Tag Team Title and holding his Champion's Case. He is joining the show via sattelite. TONY: Jamie, what a wonderful highlight reel that was. JAMIE: Indeed it was, Tony. I stayed up all night editing it. Well, I had someone in production stay up all night doing it. I need my sleep, Tony. A champion must remain well rested. TONY: Never a truer word has been spoken. Now, Jamie, you said before Supercard II that you and Krunch would walk out with the TWD Tag Team Titles, you lived up to your word, how does it feel? Jamie looks down at the title belt around his waist and sighs. JAMIE: To be honest, Tony, it's a burden and a boost. As you and your audience know, I have only returned to the wrestling industry in order to make quick, easy money in this time of financial instability. My wife and child deserve the best lives possible and to give them that, I need a lot of money. Wrestling, much as I despise it, is something I'm well known for. I knew I could walk into any company and make good money. Given time, I knew I could dominate whichever company I went to, win a title and earn more money. So far, that's what I've done. Unfortunately, being a champion, people look up to you. The people in the crowds, the children, they see you as someone to idolize. And while I personally AM someone worth idolizing, I don't want to be idolized by these people. It's a Catch-22. TONY: But surely, given all your recent success, you've started to warm to the industry once again? I mean, I can tell you that your Australian fans have loved watching you back in the ring. JAMIE: Well, that's great for them, Tony, but the fact is that I am above wrestling now. The industry needs me much more than I need it, hence my hefty salary. I do appreciate my Australian fans because I at least know they take the industry in it's stride, unlike the Americans I'm surrounded by who think wrestling is TEH BEST THING EVAR!!1 People who wear shirts displaying meaningless initials like FWF and chanting "This is Awesome, This is Awesome!" No, it's not awesome you r-tards. You know what would be awesome? If any of these morons read a book. Tony Prescott is slightly taken aback. TONY: Strong words... JAMIE: Sorry, Tony, I've just been over here for quite a while now and I'm starting to get homesick. And sick of terrible food. Seriously, have you ever tried American food? Everything's coated in melted cheese. And not even GOOD cheese. Not to mention the fact that the butter here is more like a confectionary sugar. No wonder these idiots are dying of heart attacks so young. TONY: Are you all right, Jamie? Jamie shakes himself from his diatribe. JAMIE: Yes, sorry. Ask me more questions. TONY: Given that you're still undefeated, do you think there is anyone on the current TWD roster who could break your streak? JAMIE: Pfft, of course not. Tony, I'm not just undefeated, I am undefeatable. I am 26 and 0 since coming to TWD... TONY: Wait, what? JAMIE: 26/0, that's my won-loss record since returning. TONY: Ah, Jamie, far be it from me to question your memory... JAMIE: Then why do I get the feeling you're about to? TONY: It's just, you've only had six matches thus far in TWD. JAMIE: Seven matches. TONY: No, you wrestled Adam Young then Dragzilla then had the Parking Lot Brawl... Jamie interrupts, aghast. JAMIE: I think you're neglecting to mention my five-star classic with Tabby The Vagrant on Showdown a few months ago! Tony relents, a little embarrassed. TONY: Oh yes, of course. That. But still, I don't see how that makes you 26 and 0? JAMIE: Jeez, Tony, for someone who wears glasses and studies stats, I thought you might be a bit more mathematically inclined than you're showing. First, I beat Adam Young. 1-0. Then I beat Dragzilla. 2-0. Then Tabby The Vagrant pushed me to my limits but I managed to pull off the win, making me 3-0. THEN, I won the Parking Lot Brawl and earned my Champion's Case. I beat 11 other men in that match, making me 14-0. After that I beat Saber, something that's becoming a bit of a recurring event. That made me 15-0. After that, I auditioned people for a while. Following that, Krunch and I defeated Kingpin and Scott Pandora. Two opponents beaten, making me 17-0. Do I need to continue? TONY: Let me guess? You beat 9 other opponents in Tag Team Turmoil, making you 26 and 0? JAMIE: Exactly, see it's not that hard to understand, Tony. TONY: I guess not. Now, Jamie, I just had one last question for you. JAMIE: Shoot. Suddenly Jamie turns, startled. He nervously looks around before turning back to camera. JAMIE: Sorry, poor choice of words. You say "shoot" in this country and someone's likely to do it. They're nuts over here, Tony. I've seen three year olds in a sandpit shooting at each other with Uzis! Tony takes a deep breath, unsure of whether Jamie is being serious or just winding him up. TONY: Anyway, my question is: In the lead-up to Supercard II, you made a point to imply that you would be using your Champion's Case at the event. Why didn't you? JAMIE: Tony, I never implied anything. I simply told people they should watch just to see if I did use my case. I'll be telling them to do the same thing for the next Showdown. Fact is, it's my Case and I can use it whenever I want to. As for why I chose not to at Supercard II? I'll explain that at Showdown. Meanwhile, I don't think any of the people who paid to see Supercard could possibly feel short-changed after the performance I put on. TONY: Indeed they can't. Jamie, it's been a pleasure speaking to you as always. Defend your belt proudly and the best of luck to you. JAMIE: Thank you Tony, thank you AUSTRALIA! And with that, Jamie walks away. Off-camera, we can just make out his voice... JAMIE: You pack of backward mutants. CAMERAMAN: Uh, Jamie, your mic is still on. JAMIE:... FU The sound feed dies.
|
|
 Oozing brilliance from every pore. |