THE MECHANISM

TOM: Wow. What’s all this?

Tom moves toward the signs. Corey appears perturbed and speaks quickly.

COREY: Dunno. You’d better be careful, though. See the signs?

TOM: I saw the sign.

COREY: Did it open up your eyes?

TOM: I saw the sign. ( pause ) I wonder what that lever does.

Tom eyes the lever curiously.

COREY: Why don’t you just forget about it?

Tom turns to Corey.

TOM: Aren’t you even the least bit curious as to the function of this lever?

COREY: No, I’m not.

TOM: Don’t lie. How could you possibly not be curious? All those warnings… it must do something magnificent!

COREY: You don’t know that.

Tom shrugs.

TOM: Only one way to find out.

Tom moves closer to the lever. Corey takes a few steps toward him.

COREY: No!

Tom turns, confused.

TOM: Why not?

COREY: Because… the signs… read and take heed!

Tom is confused.

TOM: Since when are you such a pussy?

COREY: Since when are you such a stickybeak?

TOM: Since always! You know that. (pause) You’ve got ten seconds to offer me a satisfying reason not to pull that lever.

Corey thinks as Tom counts ‘1, 2, 3’ and so on.

TOM: 10! That’s it, I’m pulling it.

Tom steps through the warning signs and is just about to pull the lever when Corey tackles him to the ground.

COREY: Noooooooooo!

They pick themselves up gradually, Tom dusting himself off.

TOM: What the hell is wrong with you?

COREY: You can’t pull that lever!

TOM: Why not?!

COREY: Because!

TOM: Because, why?

COREY: Because… (turns away) It’s my coping mechanism.

Tom rolls his eyes and throws his arms up in the air.

TOM: What?

COREY: It’s true.

TOM: You’re coping mechanism?

COREY: Yeah… (turns to face Tom again) You know… some people have alcohol. Others have sex. My coping mechanism is… there.

Corey points at the lever.

TOM: You’re telling me that your coping mechanism is a tangible thing which can be switched on and off?

COREY: Yes.

Tom can’t believe it. His gestures become more violent.

TOM: You’re an idiot!

COREY: Why?

TOM: You can’t have an actual coping mechanism! It doesn’t make sense.

COREY: Why not?

TOM: …It just doesn’t! Watch, I’ll prove it.

Tom turns and goes to pull the lever again but Corey grabs him.

COREY: Please. Don’t!

TOM: You’re being a complete moron. What do you think exactly will happen to you if I pull that lever?

COREY: The mechanism will be off. I… I won’t be able to cope.

TOM: Cope with what?

COREY: Oh, I don’t know! War, poverty, pop-culture, everything! That mechanism is the only thing that stops me from going insane.

TOM: Why don’t you just not think about those things? That’s what I do. Hell, that’s what everyone does. Do you think the world would be how it is if anyone was actually paying attention?

COREY: Well… I guess not.

TOM: Exactly! You don’t need a coping mechanism.

COREY: Maybe.

TOM: Good, then it’s agreed.

Tom turns and reaches for the lever again.

COREY: NO!

Tom turns again.

TOM: Oh, come on! It’ll be fine. Here… (pulls a beer out of his pocket and hands it to Corey) Have this. It helps to kill your thoughts.

COREY: Please… Do you have to pull that lever?

TOM: Obviously I do. So, you’d better start drinking.

COREY: Isn’t there anything I can do to stop you?

TOM: Short of finding me naked pictures of Fiona Apple, no.

COREY: I can tackle you again.

TOM: Yes. You can. But you can’t spend the rest of your life tackling me. At some stage you’ll need to sleep or piss or something, and when that time comes (motions of pulling the lever) Lever land is closed.

Corey sighs. He looks at the lever despondently and then opens his beer.

COREY: Fine. Do it.

Tom smiles and pumps his fist in victory. He turns happily and relishes the build up. After a few seconds, he pulls the lever. Nothing happens. He turns to Corey, disappointed.

TOM: See? Nothing even happened. I knew you were full of crap.

COREY: Well, I haven’t had to cope with anything yet.

TOM: You have to cope with the fact that I just turned off your coping mechanism.

Corey twitches.

COREY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Corey begins flipping out, grabbing his head and shaking violently. He runs around while Tom watches, stunned. Corey continually screams as he picks up one of the warning signs and begins smashing the air.

COREY: It’s horrible! The pain… it’s like my brain is giving birth to an anvil! Please, stop it!

Tom lets the scene play for a few moments before pulling the lever again. Corey drops violently and then slowly picks himself up, catching breath.

COREY: Oh… thank you. That was awful.

TOM: That was amazing.

COREY: So, now do you believe me?

TOM: Well, I guess I have to.

Corey is still catching his breath. Tom looks at the lever, which is still standing erect.

TOM: Hey, what happens if I push it this way?

Tom pushes the lever in the opposite way to which he pulled it earlier. Corey drops dead.

TOM: Hello? Hello? Corey?

Tom kneels over Corey and tries to wake him up.

TOM: Wake up!

Tom gets up and pulls the lever back to its erect position but Corey is still dead.

TOM: No! This can’t be happening.

Tom looks down at Corey, then to the lever, then to the crowd, and runs off stage.

END.