There once was a man named Manny
Who fell in love with his deceased Granny
No matter how bad her corpse smelt
Couldn’t change the way he felt
And in the church that held her funeral, they got married

HOUSE CLEANING

There was a man named Scott Lafide
Who used to beat up his child bride
He’d yell “Start cleaning, you!”
She couldn’t, she was two
Slowly into death she did slide

DIRTY DEALS

There was a drug dealer named Jack
Who was up to his eyeballs in smack
He unloaded his stash
And made shitloads of cash
None of his customers ever came back

JUNKIE MAGIC

There once was a junkie named Jed
Just stayed home and did drugs in his bed
One day he made a big score
Did more than ever before
Now his corpse is the colour of lead

SARAH

There was a girl with cum on her face
Her friends saw her and she was disgraced
She found the guy who’d blown his load
And hacked off his choad
And sprayed his eyeballs with mace

BEN THE FRIEND

I had an imaginary friend
He was fun, his name was Ben
But I couldn’t understand
His love for boy bands
Kept singing songs by Boyz II Men

THE BEACH

My ritual mating dance
Go to the beach and I prance
Impress all the girls
With a variety of twirls
It’s all a trick to get in their pants

YOU CAN’T SPELL SADDAM WITHOUT SPELLING “MAD” BACKWARDS

Their was a leader named Saddam Hussein
Who had an evil brain
We decided he needed to die
So we opened up the sky
And to this day the bombs still rain

HIGH

I’m getting high off Ammonia
Guess you could call me a chromer
Have no sense of time
I’m losing my mind
Soon enough I’ll be in a coma

TRENDY

I love my mobile phone
The night club is my second home
I have such a passion
For all the latest fashion
Can you tell me apart from my clones?

POSITIVE

I was with a girl named Cherise
Who loved to get down on her knees
‘Cause I’m such a prick
I never told her I was sick
And when she swallowed she caught my disease