Haikus (12-5-03)

COCAINE

Shipments of cocaine
Into the brain through my nose
Is sweet as sugar

ALANIS MORRISETTE’S TAKE ON IRONY IS DIFFERENT TO MINE

Smacking a smackie
With his giant bag of smack
Is not ironic

MUDDY BANKS OF THE WHISKAH

Wrestling with women
In gigantic pools of mud
Is dirty but fun

HOLLINGWORTH

The old man enjoys
Statutory surrender
He will not get caught

PHASES

Sleeping with donkeys
A phase of my life long gone
Fun while it lasted

STRESS LESS

Stressing is pointless
Just makes life harder to live
Stop caring. Start life.

POP MUSIC WILL EAT ITSELF

Pop music: Virus
Carried by radio waves
Infecting your brain

SWEET APPLE

Fiona Apple
One day she will be my wife
Or I, her stalker

THOUGHT INVOKING

Television screen
Tells me how to think and act
Filtering my thoughts

YET ANOTHER CRACK JOKE

Crack addict’s last wish
“Look after my daughter, please?”
I stomp his face

TERRORISTS

Presence of Muslims
Creates a terrorist threat
‘Cause Allah is bad

PRISONER

Imprisoned in here
Surrounded by idiots
Urge to kill rising

MOONY

Matt Moon has the clap
He told me, I ran away
But Sam approached him

LEIGHKACHU

Leigh has siphilus
Discharge from his vagina
Hope I don’t catch it

ORWELLIAN TIMES

Big Brother feeds us
We can not live without him
Mind control complete

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