Alcohol.

To me, alcohol is more than just a mind-altering drug. It’s an escape. The real world is a pretty hard place to live in sometimes. People die because their leaders are monsters. People kill because their leaders are greedy. Most people are selfish, having absolutely no regard for other’s feelings and wishes. This is the world we live in. Isn’t that reason enough to want to get away from it all?

You see, by drinking alcohol, we inflate our cerebellum. The part of our brain that allows us to walk and talk. Sinking down beer after beer, you can drink yourself back to the Stone Age. Your mind will become primitive, and your ability to think will diminish. Thus, you can no longer think about how bad the world is. Really, all you can manage to think about if you’re at that point is “I hope I don’t vomit on this police officer.”

Plus, when you’re drunk, you think up great ideas. Or at least they seem great at the time. I remember one of the first instances when I got smashed, that I came up with the greatest invention to have never been created: Microsoft. Of course, drunk as I was at the time, I sold the idea to some four-eyes so that I could buy a packet of cigarettes.

I guess that is the one pitfall of drinking alcohol. It sometimes makes you do stupid things. Example: Using the confessional booth at church as a toilet. But think about it, that’s only ONE pitfall. The only negative thing about alcohol is that you occasionally do something dumb… and that it hurts your liver… and that it’s addictive… and that it kills your brain cells.

Only one negative thing, against so many positives.

One last point about alcohol. Possibly the most important thing above all else. It’s fun. In this sad dark world it is often impossible to find anything fun to do. With the aid of alcohol, absolutely everything is fun. Why do you think cricket is still a sport? Because everyone that plays it and/or watches it is an absolute piss head!

So there you go. That, to me, is why alcohol is so popular. It allows you to escape. Opens your mind to all kinds of great ideas, and makes everything fun.

Example: I’m typing this (which I'd already written), but because I’m drunk, I’m having a ball.