Adrian.

Hey look at me, lady
I’m just a little baby
You’re lucky to have me
I’m cute and sweet as candy
As charming as a fable
I’m innocent and disabled
So hug me and kiss me
And wipe my butt and piss me

Rose hadn’t slept in days. Her eyes were bloodshot with exhaustion and her ears were trained, waiting, waiting for the noise that had spawned this aching stretch of insomnia that tore at her from within like an angry shard of glass.

It was 2 AM and she knew that the sound would soon come. The beast would wake and start filling the house with agonizing screams, calling out like an injured cat with a whining wail that instantly burdened your heart.

For the past three months, Rose had regretted ever having a child; Little Adrian, more appropriately referred to as Beelze“bub”. For the past three months, Rose had regretted ever having sex. In her insomniac state, her paranoid thoughts had been reliving the day of conception. A night she wished she could remember as the day of CONTRAception.

“Are you sure?” she’d asked her boyfriend, a handsome man she’d met only minutes before at the bus stop.

“Does the pope shit in the woods? Of course I’m sure! I wouldn’t lie to you, baby. You know me better than that.” He’d smiled and she’d blushed.

“So you’re certain that I can’t get pregnant from the first time?” she’d inquired further, imploring an honest answer from her seductive new beau.

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged, “Why not?”

And then he filled her with seminal fluid and vanished from the face of the Earth, leaving her to look after the demon child that he was equally responsible for. She hated him for it, though even she had to admit that the sex was the best thirty-seven seconds of her life.

It was 2:13 AM when the sounds finally exploded from Adrian’s mouth and wafted from his crib, down the hall and into his mother’s room, like a stinging scent. Each individual howl that emanated from the child was a soldier, livid and determined to attack Rose’s ears. She lay back, awake, drowning in Adrian’s tears, her mind rapidly ticking insane.

He hates me. He’s doing this on purpose, to make me crazy.

She remembered Adrian’s father’s face. His eerie green eyes that had attracted her so inexplicably; his teeth, whiter than an albino’s pubes. She recalled his hair, immaculately groomed. He was the perfect male specimen. Almost too perfect.

Why won’t he shut up? Oh please Adrian, be quiet!

She began sobbing.

He’s trying to destroy me. There was something in the sperm. Something evil. He’s not normal. Kids don’t cry like this ordinarily. They laugh and smile there toothless grins. They’re happy, not like... OH, PLEASE SHUT UP!

“Please shut up!” She screamed and maybe to the ideas invading her head.

He’s… he’s not human!

She thought back to the day of conception and suddenly things started to shift within her mind. Her memory scanned the visage of her former beau, still as live and real as he was that day. The perfect male specimen, she thought and the clouds in her head were clearing to reveal a blue sky of truth and revelations.

Nothing that perfect exists in this world, unless… he wasn’t from this world! Unless he was an alien!

Rose sat up, startled. Could it be true? Had she played pelvic pea-knuckle with a being from another planet? She thought back to the thirty-seven second thrusting session and recalled the brief conversation that had followed.

“That was out of this world!” She’d said, exhausted and euphoric. He’d simply laughed.

He’d simply laughed. My God, shouldn’t that have told me something? That’s as close as a confession to being an evil space monster as I can imagine. Why didn’t I recognize it? Why?

The question reverberated throughout his ears. Why? Why hadn’t she realized that he was an alien? Why had he come to Earth? Why had he chosen her to inseminate? And then, as freely as the liquid that had caused this mess, answers flowed.

She hadn’t realized he was an alien because he was using mind control. That was why she’d been so inexplicably attracted to him, also. And, obvious to her now, was the fact that he’d come to Earth to plant his seed, to begin what was likely a complex alien plot to take over the world. If they impregnated human women with the alien children, a conquering mission would be made instantly easier. If many aliens had done the same thing at the same time, then now, three months since a mass birthing, the world would be rife with extra-terrestrial infants ready to run rampant over the human population like it was predicted SARS disease would.

Rose trembled.

There could be little beings just like Adrian everywhere. Crying, screaming, preparing. Communicating with telepathy, scheming and planning for the uprising.

A deathly chill ran through her body.

But… why me? Why did he choose me?

The question, given enough time, answered itself. Why wouldn’t he choose her? She was a sexalicious mamma-jamma from Sexville, Sexylvania. She beamed proudly for a moment before Adrian’s howling brought her back to her thoughts.

I can’t let this happen. I can’t let aliens take over the planet. What kind of human would I be if I did? A bad one, that’s what kind!

Before she knew it, Rose was up and at her bedroom door, the light now on. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to do, but she knew that she had to do it.

And Adrian had stopped screaming. He wasn’t making a sound.

He’s clever. Staying quiet so that he can hear my every movement. His ears tracking me. Yes, he’s clever for an extra-terrestrial infant, but I’ll get him. I won’t be responsible for the end of mankind. No, not me.

She smiled for the first time since the conception, a plan beginning to formulate in her head.

I’ll kill him. I have to.

She opened her underpants drawer and fished around it for a few moments before pulling out a ten-inch vibrator. An instrument she’d been using ever since her run-in with the alien beau to recreate the euphoria of that amazing half-minute. She eyed it lustfully, and then her face hardened.

It’s hammer time.

She treaded lightly out of her room, the way Jesus must have done to walk on water. The hallway was dark and the silence that carried through it was deafening, but she continued, bravely, headed toward her goal. To kill Adrian.

Rose tried to breathe silently, she tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as she came to her son’s room. She wasn’t sure if he was hyper-sensitive, but imagined he was. She thought it better to think the worst, so she’d be prepared for anything.

Though, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she entered the room.

Adrian stood in his crib, grinning demonically, naked. His eyes glowed green like radiation and two fangs protruded from his curved mouth, whiter than the most radical of Klan members. He was the embodiment of evil, she thought.

Christ on a stick! He’s the embodiment of evil!

“Good evening, Rose.” Adrian spoke in a cold, calculated tone. “I’ve been waiting.” His grin grew. Rose tightened her grip on the vibrator. “What?” he asked, “You didn’t expect me to talk? Oh, Rose. A Rose by any other name might not be so foolish. A Rose by any other name may not be so doomed.”

Rose began trembling again. Her eyes wide open with fear, her mind numb with shock.

“Adrian, it’s mummy.” She tried to fake a smile, tried to trick the being.

“Bah! Don’t try that crap with me! What do you take me for? A human?”

Rose, still shaking, shook her head. “No, sweetie. I’m not trying anything. I’m here to attend to you. I heard you crying and I was worried.”

He laughed loudly, confidently. “Worried? Hah! Since when? You haven’t come to see me in days! You haven’t fed me! I’ve been forced to eat all eleven fingers from this pathetic human body just to survive and now you expect me to believe that you care? I’m not an idiot, Rose, despite being partly consumed by your miserable DNA. No, I know exactly why you’re here.” And then he eyed the vibrator accusingly.

Rose panicked. She raised the ten-inch weapon violently and charged at her alien son. Gaining momentum, approaching, she began to lower the tool when… BUZZ! Wings suddenly bled out of Adrian’s back and he took flight.

“Haha! Charade you are, Rose. Your weapons are no match for my immaculately crafted form.”

Frightened, Rose screamed “Who are you? What are you? Why won’t you leave me alone?” Adrian buzzed near the ceiling.

“I am Adrian. I am your son and I won’t leave you alone because…” his head contorted sideways at an impossible angle and his voice turned child-like, cute even. “I wuv my mummy.” His words filled the air like the smell of impending doom before he suddenly fired down at Rose fiercely. “I kill you!” he yelled as he burned through the air. Rose swung wildly with the vibrator, hoping desperately to strike her rabid son with a fatal blow that would end this confrontation. The sex-toy tore holes in the space it hit, but it didn’t hit Adrian. He flew unimpeded at her and, summoning all of his alien strength, went straight through her like a bullet. He tore through his mother’s intestines and spread her bowels on the floor. Turning afterward, covered in blood and guts, assessing the damage he’d done, Adrian grinned his demonic grin again. Rose stayed upright for a moment before collapsing backward, dead, a massacred hole where her stomach used to be.

“Dun, dun, dun – another one bites the dust.” Sung Adrian as he flew calmly out of his room and to the front door, which he opened. The night was cold and dark and alive, and Adrian, stopping to take one last look at the house he’d called home for the past three months, flew off into the vast darkness.

A bone-chilling, horrifying cackle spread across the night air as Adrian, extra-terrestrial infant, disappeared, thoughts of a beautiful apocalypse smiling in his head.