Today I have a terrible day cuz...juz saw something that should not be see...and thoese words he use..every single word is juz like a thorn in my heart...it's so hurting..i juz noe it's impossible for mi to forget thoese things as it really happen before..not it never...i'm juz hoping someday..my life will be back to normal again...anyway...this happen yesterday anyway...when i told him that i hate my life...he juz sound like scolding me..but hey, it's not my fault right? I juz felt that he can't hide anything from me..as god want me to know...now..i know most of his stuff more than he knows mine.This is what he wrote that really make me so work up...

"Hmm Long Time No Come In Forum See See!! Then My Dear Ask Me To Come In Read This Topic, Dun Know What It Is... Then I Scroll Down Slowly Hmm, Quite Obviously Its A Couple Chat Session... Hohoho... Good Luck Tiara And Ego Korkor... Make Her Happy And In Return You Have To Be Happy Too... Cause She Also Dun Wish To See You Sad...

Webby Gal Too... Hope You And Green Teh Can Be Together Forever

Hmm For Me... Thankz Dear For Your Pleasing Words... Even Though I Cant See You, But My Heart Is Always In You...Dun Worry I Wont Neglect You, My Friends, Brothers And Sisters In Oz Too... Madruk, You Dun Sux, You Are A Nice Guy And I Know You Can Find A Good Stead In Future... The Tiem May Not Be Right Now, But Who Knows The Future Rite My Bro?"

Oh man...i really cant take it..i'm juz a gal, a normal 15yr old gal!!!After this..i just know that i got nothing to talk to him...really...I remember he told me that he is not thoese romantic type...than why he can still say thoese mushy word to her and not me?

Hmm...today should i consider a great day? Or sad day instead? Let's see...i dont know...moody i guess..I Juz find out that Alex is someone...who can really hide something from a person...really...i juz feel this way. Today i went to his house..and while he was sleeping..i went to look at all the post his previous stead had post...Oh GoD dAmN mAn soooooOOO MUSHY!!! Read can make my hair stand...hey..it's not i want to check on him..it's juz i got nothing to do...so juz look around...I juz feel like that...he is hiding alot os things from me..is he? I hope not...There is so much thing i want to say...but..i juz dunno how to say it out...Alex is actually a nice person...but how to say, a little flirt? But he promise me that he will not be that flirt anymore..so i trust him...He really hurts me alot last time...and now my heart is fill with lots of scars..and i know this scar will always remain there now, tomorrow..forever...it will never disappear. My heart will never ever be the same like last time...

Today i guess is QUITE a sad day to me...cuz i quarrel wif him..u noe lorz..HIM. I went down to get my dinner when i back to the computer table..i saw this nick ReNe`Oz sayin wat korkorkor...so i ask him how old is she..Is this question very sensitive? I dun tink so..i'm juz curious mah...than he juz keep sayin i'm suspectin him..oh yeah..watever...haiz..Dunno why he hav to tok to me like this also. I'm juz wonder is "mei" important? Is it god? Haix...-_-dunno lorz...i really want to be him for one day...so i will know how he feel..but too bad. It's IMPOSSIBLE!!! Maybe be him for one day can let me know alot of stuff...not mah? Haix..love sux...

Gone4Ever wrote:

Ya Lor... My Fault Mah...

no la.. i tot u sae.. u wont do this to me again mah..

i'll trust u.. cos u my dear mah.. keke

i know the next time i go find u.. u wont be playing game again de..

cos u always so sweet got pei me.. onli tat dae u need to help ur friend.. kekekeke

Well..i find this in a POST in OZ forum...a very..sad place for mi i guess...she quite undertsandin too...hmm..

I found this too...Tht's what HIS EX stead wrote...haha.. i find it stupid.. 1st date go his house actually go his house see his mama.. then hor.. his mama ask m i his schmate or wat.. then i sae friend.. haha.. then alex sae *friend meh* then i smile to him.. keke..

then 2nd time go his house.. i waited him for 2 hrs.. juz to see him play D2.. super wu liao..

P.S. To all guys.. if u wan ur gf go ur house.. rem to pei them.. DUN ALWAYS PLAY GAME FORGET UR GF.. =p

Yah...fren meh? Shuld go tell the whole world they steadin mah...why so scare...this oso hurt mi alot..waa..more and more scar...one day i will juz die cuz my heart juz keep bleedin and bleedin and bleedin....Pls..will someone save me...?

Today sure is a very very very sad and a day which will alwaz remember, in my heart i alwaz have a question. And that is, i remember i told alex once that i still like him..and he oso say he like mi too but why? Why did he still find that two girl? Now i got the answer for my question, he say, "Cuz i want to get over you...but i can't..". This answer sure break my heart alot...wanna get over me...

Today, juz feeling moody...no sad no happy..actually i decided to stay at home but alex suddenly called and ask me to go out with him and his frenz..so..i say ok. At first they say go Funan..so i quickly shower than rush there...i dun want to call him that i reached there already cuz i want to give him a surprise..and when i reach i find out that he's not there. So i juz sit there and wait than suddenly he sms me and told me that he and his frenz now at suntec..so i rush there. When i reach there...guess what..he sms mi and told mi that now he and his frenz reach marina square...oh man!! What u guys tink i am? I am suck a fOOL!! When i reach there...meet them already..than i find out that it's not acturlly his frenz fault cuz alex never told them that i am cumin...haix..wat a day..sure can call it a ONE DAY TOUR...or a BIG FOOL DAY FOR ME...haix...

Oh man...i'm hot...BERI HOT today!! Hot as in..ANGRY!! That alex...i dun understand why? Why muz he alwaz tok in this kind of beri irritating manner...do he noe that it realli piss me off?? Sometime i nv tok to him until buay song..he say i am..Well did he ever use this kind of manner to tok to his MEIMEI they all? No lehz...DUN HAV!!! What to do...born out to be like this...haiz...god ar..i surrender!! I surrender really..plz hav mercy....

Do you think he really love me god? Pls show me...If he really love me...than tml the wheather will be sunny..if not than make it rain..pls god i really need to know...i dun wish to be hurt again...i dun wish to know that wat happen is only a lie...show me god...show me tml....thanks..

Today is an interesting day, cuz today i went to the zoo for OZ outing(So can see animals and get stuff loh=X) I'm realli excited about it...and i remember the previous time..i wuld like god to show me if he really is serious about me..Raining means no...Sunny means yes, do you noe wat i get in the end? Cloudy...seems like going to rain but never. What does this mean? I wonder.....

When i hav met alex and his frenz...we tk 138 together to the zoo..and we finally get into the zoo i really cnt wait to look around cuz everyting seems to change alot alot...it's been years since i went to zoo. When we get in, we kinda like lookin for someone...than finally they found the person they lookin for..when mi and alex are going to hang around some other place...something happen, i saw a guy pushin a gal(shan cai...fren) but hey man..is he a gentleman?? How can a guy push a gal like this...well...maybe he is a sissy than i got nth to say le lorz...than sudenli another guy came along..he wearin black t-shirt...acting like a gangster...(-.-)oh man, can say that he is soo nO mAnnErS lOrZ!!! If i have a fren like him...go out muz tk plastic bag and cover my face so ppl wun noe i got this kind of frenz. Throw my face!! After that, we walk seprately...in case fight, than when we got our items..they decied to go home so...like that lorz...follow them. But before i went home, i go to arcade and play for awhile wif shan cai they all...quite an interesting day lorz...keke...

Sad day aRRR!!! Acturlly is nth happen until i saw some wedding photo at the oz forum, so i ask alex...Oz oso can hav weddin? He say yes...alot of ppl do it. Right at this momment!! I ask sth that maybe is the BEST i shuld not know about it...i ask him...how abt u? Did u get marry? Guess what he say...he say YES!! Somemore tell me who he marry wif...A gal name Tiara...oh man...before i know about this..i was tinkin of havin my character marry to him oso but after i know he marry once...i dun feel like it le...i dunno why. So i ask Shan Cai if she noe that alex marry once in oz..she say dunno. Than i juz tell her everything abt it..than she say i dun want marry him cuz i felt 2nd. I ask her..what u mean by i felt 2nd? She say cuz i'm not the 1st person to marry him in oz...yES!! That's how i feel what i tink!! Haix....Sad sia....=(

Acturlly i'm happy in the first place...but than...after i hear this song, "Wo Nan Guo" by 5566, suddenly reminds me of my past when i'm still steading with alex. I remember there is once..i call alex to join #pgss..than tht time...i change my nick to JiaLiang...his chinse name. When he saw it...he oso change it...chang to my chinese name...it's realli fun...but now..he will nv do tht again...Why? Cuz..maybe he will find it childish lor i guess...haiz reali sad now. Maybe in the first place we shuld not hav know each other...izzit fate? Tht's my fate...If can..i wuld like to intro this song "Wo Nan Guo" to all my frenz..cuz it's reali a nice song...I wish my fren willl not fang qi ai...even if the opposite hurts u alot...hold on to the end...Haiz, HaO nAn gUo.

Today is my school reopen le...so sianz...-.- When i went to school acturlly we have to pass up a pink form(declaration form) so that we are being asure that we do not hab SARS...and let us go back to class. But the bad news is i did not bring mine..and most of all is that i lose it!! Wat a luck! But good thing...my 2frenz Catherine and Delise also didnt bring their form so they hab to stay back...haha got someone to accompany mi! But after stayin back for about until 10.30 the princple want us to go back to class and want ius to remmeber to bring our form tml..OH MAN...sianz sia..i dun want go back class de...haix

Than in the afternoon..my mum cum and pick mi and we went to the World Book Fair, with sherline, delise, catherine, pamela and chang siang. When we reach there we hav our lunch first...after that we went to the book fair. When i step in..i find that the book fair now getting lesser stuff to see..so sianz oso man...shuld not hav cum! Sherline, delise and pamela wasted their $6 to do a keychain...looks cute but i dun tink i want to waste money on that...hehe...

When i get home..and play the comp...i went to oz..than i ask alex to play wif mi..in e end he tok to mi until as if like ventin his angers on mi...playin in oz oso like that...wa laoz..wtf tink wat am i? A toy for him to vent angers wif ar...haix...do u tink he realli still hab alot of meimei mah?...=(

Today should turn out fine but in the end it's ruin!! All by who? Guess....the same person of course, onli he will alwaz make me sad instead of happy. What he treat me as? Hmm...i tink not as a human being, i'm juz a toy for him to vent angers on...keep tokin to me until so angry, what about tokin to his meimei? Oh kor will help you...haix nth to say lorz. Whu tell me previous life own him so much...i tink pay until i die le oso havent finish payin him yet. Sometime i will tink of death...cuz i really cant take in so much thing in my heart, well...everybody's heart sure contain alot of things but i guess it's not as much as mine. There is alot of things in my heart...i wish to say it out but i juz dunno how to...so slowly it building up...and become a mountain...=(

Tomorrow is Sunday and alex jie, Shan cai is going to celebrate wif him. I'm going anyway...acturlly wanted to giv him a surprise by showing up myself in front of him when they meet but now..i guess not, juz peek on him...and see if he enjoyz it...well...surely he will...i hope...=)

Today while playing Oz...i found alex fishin himself so i juz stand in front of him and started fishin wif him...Guess what, he walk away from me...What does that mean? Haiz...life is full of sadness instead of happiness....

Today is suppose to giv alex a surprise by attending the bday party organised by his friends, 3cai. In the end everything turn out bad....What acturlly happen is like this.

Before they reach orchard i already reach cuz my parents drive me there, so while waiting for them to come i am listening to my discman and also smsing Delise. When they reach le Shan cai call me so i go and look for them, that time i'm still listening to my discman and smsing...so i juz kinda like too concentrate on the sms...than in the end guess what? Haha that alex angry sia!

He walk very fast until Shan cai they all cnt find us, so she call me and tell me whre to meet her and the other ppl...i try to pull alex up but he juz dun want, so i told him if he want sit than i accompany him. So i sit down...after awhile 3cai call him, than he ask me to walk first i dun want...than after that he walk away very fast...i shouted at him sayin that he had walk wrongly but he ignore...ok lor...ignore...i walk my own path he walk his...

After that i sms delise to call me, and she accompany me tok until my parents hav finish watchin the movie...While they were watching movie, i myself walking around orchard. From mrt to far east than taka...woo...almost walk round the whole orchard le. When i was walking to orchard...i walk past a hotel than i am kinda like looking inside than when i turn my head, i saw a guy smiling at me...so i smile back to him...haha....quite handsome...not bad =X

That day i am wearin tupe, a jacket without sleeve than mini skirt...and thoese long socks until the knee(like korea or jap ppl like that) haha...=)

So...whatever thing happen is all my fault! Excuse me...i tok on fone or sms izzit against the law?! Haiz...bu zhi dao lah...i dun understand him...really...Everybody told me that...mostly is guy "hong" gals wan but i'm opposite, i alwaz "hong" him instead. Haiz...

Sometime even it's not my fault in the end oso push it all to me, ok than, next time whatever thing happen i will juz tk the blame and say sorry for nothing, really i dun care so much liaoz. Anyway he is so perfect! =) As for me...muahahaha i'm the bad guy u noe? Most difficult job is that, other gals when they angry that guy wont get angry wif them but instead they will "hong" them but me...i angry he angry wif mi oso. Sometime is he started tokin to me until not happy than i oso do it. I hope he knows that i'm a human being too...and my gender is a girl not a boy, i want boys to hong wo not angry wif mi oso!!!

All my friends told me i hav choose wrongly...so what? What can i do now, i cnt turn back anymore...really....so juz be like that bah and wish miracles happen...if not...if this kinda of stuff continue, i tink there will be no surprisin that i am dead cuz i mad liaoz and choose to die lor...-_-

I know that, there is a friend of mine(dun wish to mention name, i know whu can le) he is alwaz there for me and support me, but sooner and later...we may not be friends le...but anyway i juz want him to know no matter he is alwaz the best Kor i ever had...

By the way...ppl whu have stead, i wanna ask you..did ur stead ever tok to u like this? For example "dun regret what u say" & "you will see wat happen next" ? Like ah beng hor? Well sayin the truth mine is like that, and he will use this kinda of sentence to tok to me...well my fate~

Today is a sad day, look at wat alex email me...

Have Known You For 1Year++ Le... Goin To Your Bday Soon... I Know You Would Like Me To Change Myself To Be More Romantic, Tok To You Nicely, Tolerate You If You Tok To Me Rudely... I Might Be Able To Change To Become A Ideal Person For You... But I Also Hope You Could Change Too... Your Attitude, Forget The Past, Talk Nicely To Me Too, And Also Treat Me As The One You Really Love, Not Always Like Small Matter Dun Wan Solve It And Change To Another Topic... When You Are Sad Tell Me And I Will Try To Console You... And I Hope We Can Quarrel Less On Pone, Oz And Also In Irc... If We Continue To Quarrel Everyday With Each Other... There Wun Be Any End And Our Relationship Might Turn Sour And In The End Break... That Is What I Dun Wish To See It As We Had Been Thru For 1yr+..

Just To Tell You That My Family Comes First, After That Is You, Than My Friends or also known as my sisters and brothers... If You Really Love Me, You Should Accept Everything I Am And Wat I Am... Not Forcing You To Instantly Accept I Got God-Bros And Sis... Dun Needa Feel Jealous Of Them Cause They Are At The 4th Place... Try To Accept Them, For Rene's Case I Not Sure... But If One Day Really Wan Me Choose, I Will Choose You... You Are Always Inside Me And No Other Gals Will Be Able To Take Me Away From You As I Truely Love You... Not Joking With You But Is Serious... So Hope You Can Change Yourself... I Will Be Waiting For You To Do So... =) ... Always By Your Side ::: Alex Chia a.k.a Gone4Ever

Heyz...i'm really touch of wat he say in the email really...but i juz hope he can understand...What he did last time had left a scar in my heart, this scar will alwaz remain there and forever..so it's not i dun want to forget...it's juz cnt cum out of my mind....Of cuz..for him he can erase all the things last time easily, but i'm different...he can do it so easily cuz i nv left him a scar in the heart...but he left mi so many scar...how am i able to heal myself so quickly...?

I dun realli like Rene...cuz i dislike her freakin behaviour. Alex say it can be settle...and he say i can uit clan than i dun hab to see her anymore....alright...keep givin mi this QUITING CLAN opinion...ok i quit liaoz..happY???

Today...i ask Man Wen to help me check on Rene if alex really "silent" disown her liaoz...so when she ask..guess what she say? I tell man wen to say..."heard that u r gone4ever de meimei hor?" she say "gan meimei" .That means...havent disown yet~ than after that...alex say "Last", tht's man wen nick....than soon...she reply man wen. hE nOt mY kOr LiaOz. Yeah yeah alright anyting...juz leave it there!!! HaiX...how to trust u tell mi lor...how?

Today i found a new song beri nice! And it kinda reminds mi of myself...This song is sing by Britney Spear, title call "Girl In My Mirror". If u listen it...u will like it! And i find that i'm juz like the gal in the mirror...

Today we have to go for Full Dress Rehersal, for the School Official Opening....So tired!! Acturlly i really never tink that i can manage to stand still for about 10min, cuz the previous time i almost fainted...and alex doesnt seems to care alot...so anyway i still can stand there for 10min and march out proudly...keke...

One more thing...which is really shockin...i SLAP BRANDON!!! Why? Cuz i feel that he's acting like alex...he kinda like getiin closer and closer to Pamela..and i am afraid Catherine will get very sad about it..and she is. She kinda like gettin more and more jealous...When i slap brandon...i tot of wat alex did to mi...and i'm so mad that i slap him real hard...whao the sound very loud...my other guides in the other side look over and see me...

After the Choir have finish singing, chang siang came down, he noe that i slap brandon cuz he heard it too...good thing catherine nv heard...or mayb she will be heartbroken tht i slap him...but i did this cuz for her..

Hmm..i quarrel...not say me lor...not i started quarrel first..is alex. I juz let him continue to say me, and i keep my mouth shut.. I wonder what is true love? Really....what is true lovE!!!????

I found this again!! In oz forum...not i say i wanna check him is juz nth to do than go forum see all the page lor...i mean frm page 1 until dunno whre...cuz nth to mah...look at this

where got rou ma.. keke.. to me all this not rou ma le.. maybe u haben see how rou ma we r when we see each other.. haha"

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