NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history and current report from your doctor.
4. S.S. Number:____-____-_____Driver's License Number:_____________
5.Boy Scout Rank____________
6. Do you have a van?______Truck with oversized tires?________Waterbed?________Do you have an earring?_________Nose ring?________Bellybutton rings?_________Tattoo?__________If yes, to any of #6, discontinue and leave premises immediatly.
7. In 25 words or less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?________________________
8. In 25 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?______________________
In 25 words or less, what does the word "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?_______________________
10. Curch you attend?_______________How often?______________
11. Best time to interview your father?_________Mother?__________
12. Answer the following fill-in the blanks, Answers will be kept confidential.
(that means I won't tell anyone, ever, I promise.)
A) The last place on my body I want to be shot is______________
B)If I were to be beaten, the last bone I want broken is_____________
C)A woman's place is in the____________
D)The only thing I hope this application doesn't ask me about is_____________
E)When I meet a girl the first thing I notice is______________(If the answer begins with letters "T" or "A" discontinue the application and leave the premises immediately, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.)
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION PROVIDED ABOVE IS TRUE AND ACCURATE TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED-HOT POKERS.
Signature (This means you moron)_________________Date______________
Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing, You will be notified in writing if your application is rejected, two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases will notify you. You might want to watch your back. RETURN HOME