DEAD MAN WRITING # 22 First Statement of Remorse

DEAD MAN WRITING
Jeffery Daugherty
Executed in "Old Sparky"
November 7, 1988

Letter # 22
First Statement of Remorse

March 30, 1982 Florida State Prison, Death Row Cell 19-2111

Buzz, I can't speak for anyone else but I'll never get used to being locked up in a prison cell 24 hours a day for the rest of my life. I put up with it because I have no choice. It's been six years now as you said but I've not forgot the past. Some things I'll never forget no matter how hard I try.

I hurt alot of people by the lives I took and believe me, I won't forget any of it. I dwell in my memories quite a bit and re-live the good and the bad. It's kinda strange too cuz alot of feelings hit me that I never let myself feel before.

I don't know how I would act were I to be set free again. I wouldn't know what to do first, but I do know my life would be alot different. I'd probally still want to enlist in the service, but they wouldn't let me with my record. I know I'd spend alot of time with my children and 'ol lady.

I think the loniness and longing to be with my family is the hardest thing for me to put up with. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and wonder if they're doing alright. So in answer to your question: No, the memories have not faded a bit in the past six years plus, if anything, they are clearer than ever.

Sometimes I find myself caring for other people other than my wife and children, and I feel some of the hurt I've caused, and I think of how I would feel if someone had killed my son, or mother, or father, or anyone else in my family. I've cried many times thinking about what I've done, and for the first time in my life I really am sorry for what I did. I know it doesn't change the facts any, but it's true.

The part of me that never grew up, the side that learns to care, and show kindness, has grown up over the past six years. I owe alot to a Catholic chaplain in Pennsylvania who took the time to talk with me and help me turn my life around. A truly great man that really cares about every man in that prison. He even came to help me at my trial in Titusville. I can say that he is the first person I respected and looked up to, and I love him as if he were my own father.

You wanted to know what my cell was like awhile back so I'm sending a page out of the prison handbook. (Page from prison handbook shows the diagram of a death row cell. It's six feet by nine feet or 54 square foot. Bars at the front, one shelf, one steel bunk bolted to the wall. A small sink next to it with cold running tap water. Next to that is the toliet. One 12" black and white tv. A stereo radio is also permitted if mailed in).

I told you before, the only time we come out of our cell is to shower every other day, two hours a week outside (now changed to four, 2 hours times two times per week) or to see the doctor, and visits. Other than the above things, it's in the cell 24 hours a day.

The tv I have is a Zenith 12" black and white brand. Nobody gets a color tv on the row. They do have a bunch of different brands of tv's though, none larger than 12 inches. They have a large color tv for each wing out in population, but population can't have a tv in their cell. I get all the Jacksonville stations you listed 4, 7, 12, 17, 30, 47 and Gainesville 5 and 20. (20 doesn't come in very well though).

As for that sick fool Goode, the way he talks about wanting sex with little boys, shows his head ain't on right, but I think he's playing a game now, thinking it will save his ass. Where you saw Goode's interview was in population's mess hall, but they sometimes get death row visits there.

Til Next Time. Jeff