Speak in a terribly annoying high pitched voice.

Be a completely unreasonable person. Use flawed logic that makes no sense to anyone but you. Be a spoiled little brat. Be a complete control freak, insist on bringing everything at the beginning of the year, but slowly bring everything home over the year. Refuse to use the phone or garbage can on the basis that your roommate brought it, not you.

Blow dry your hair in the room at 6am while your roommate is trying to sleep. If she asks you to dry it in the bathroom, explain that you can't because you need a full length mirror "to see the tips of my hair to make sure it's dry."

Call your mother and friends from home and complain how much your friends here suck. Screech things like "Christie is such a loser!" and "Justine is such a bitch!" often. Act surprised when above mentioned friends don't like you much.

Never empty the trashcan. Instead, just pile it up carefully against the wall, so that when your roommate empties it, it spills everywhere.

Have your mother call you Saturday mornings at seven am. Lie in bed talking to your mom (in that incredibly annoying high pitched voice.)

When your roommate turns off the lights to sleep, turn your light on. Even better, on most nights come into the room as your roommate is falling asleep, turn the light on, and then leave again.

Stop speaking to your roommate. Pretend she isn't even there. When your roommate asks why you don't talk to her, say "I'm just not interested in anything you have to say."

Cheat on boyfriend #3 with boyfriend #2 often, demonstrating how you are an overall crappy person.

Insist on using YOUR phone in the room. Bring it home early, leaving your roommate without a phone. If she purchases a phone of her own to plug in, scream at her. Tell her she is spoiled rotten, and that one time you went on a cruise and went without a phone for three weeks. Stomp your feet and yell. Tell your roommate to stop yelling. When your roommate informs you that she is not yelling, it is in fact you who is yelling, yell at your roommate for making you yell. Throw a temper tantrum like a two year old.

Tell your roommate that she cannot use the phone at certain times, preferably the whole evening. Explain that your boyfriend is supposed to call you, and you don't want to miss the call. When your roommate points out that you have call waiting for this purpose, explain in your incredibly high pitched annoying voice that "Call waiting doesn't work" and refuse to explain further. Bonus points for all those weeks your boyfriend forgets to call.

Do not allow your roommate to take naps. Explain to her that "in my house, we don't take naps".

if your roommate is sleeping, invite loud friends over.

Make out with your boyfriend while your roommate is in the room studying. If your roommate confronts you, insist that you were not making out, and that she is "crazy" and just making things up and that you never kiss your boyfriend.

Never check your voicemail, so that your roommate will never know if she has a new voicemai or not.

Complain (in your incredibly annoying high pitched voice) that your roommate got the bigger closet, although they are the exact same size. If your roommate offers to switch closets with you, say "That's not convenient for me right now". Do this often.

If you do not like something, insult it by using the phrase "That is SO liberal!"

Open the door everytime you see your roommate changing.

If your roommate has propped the door open because its hot in the room, make sure to kick the door stop out as you leave. Do this every time you leave the room.

Pretend your roommate isn't even there. Completely ignore her, act as if she doesn't exist. If your roommate's parents or friends come over, simply turn your back and act as if no one is in the room.

Insist on bringing your own stereo. Whenever your roommate puts a CD into it, take it out as soon as she leaves. Over spring break, bring the stereo you insisted on bringing home, and never speak of it again.

Refuse to use the garbage can for a few months, on the basis your roommate brought it and not you. Hang a trash bag in the closet. Then start using the trashcan, but refuse to ever empty it.

Play nothing but Dave Matthews, very high. Screech along to it (in that incredibly high pitched annoying voice)

Constantly say things like "I never watch TV" and always mention how good you were in band. Say "That is SO liberal" a lot, and talk about how wonderful your boyfriend is. Put a countdown on your door for the next time you're going to see him, because after all, you guys are you going to be together FOREVER!

Refuse to get hit by a bus, no matter how much your roommate keeps wishing for it.