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Saturday, 15 May 2004
But before I tell my testimony, i would like to thank all of you for your prayers and support and know that I am praying for you all as well. Before I give this testimony however, I must be completely honest with you and let you know that I have been married once before. My first husband left me to life a (gay) alternitive lifestyle. We have and eight year old daughter. I hope that this doesnt offend anyone.. Then I met my husband Greg I met my husband Greg almost six years ago. Honestly we did not know each other very long and at that time I was not living my life for the Lord. We moved in together and I became pregnant with our first son. We soon got married. My husband was a heavy drinker and it didnt stop. I cannot place full blame on him though because I knew that he drank. He was also the jealous type at that time. Right after we got married we had a love hate relationship. Every once in awhile there would be physical abuse involved, but not consistantly. About two years into our marriage, I gave my heart back to God, and pleged to make a commitment. My husband continued with his alcoholism. It was at a point where he wouldnt work or even take care of himself, in fact he would at times steal money from me to get what he needed. At the time I was building up much bitterness, but I wasnt the easiest person to live with either. The first time we seperated, it was for three months (and he had an affair claiming that he thought we were not geting back together). We got back together and things went good for awhile. Then the drinking fighting, ect.. got worse again and I decided to leave and move back in with my mother. We were seperated for a year that time. We talked everyday and at first i wanted a divorce, but God kept telling me no, dont do it and he restored my love for my husband. The thing that I didnt relize at the time was that I was making my husband a priority over God.. (Not a good thing). Well instead of waiting for God's timing to put us back together, I thought it was time and he came home and moved back in with me and our two children. Well things went from really really bad, to worse. Again the drinking was unbarable and i was building up bitterness. Well He left to go into a drug and alcohol treatment program and we seperated yet again. Then a week later i found out I was pregnant with our second son. Again, i was bitter and started out wanting divorce, but God said no and he restored my love for my husband. When i was about five months pregnant, my husband had another affair. He wasnt planning on coming back at first. I knew the only thing I could do was leave it in God's hands., I know God didnt want me to seek divorce, because he continued to say no over and over. Also, this pregnancy was a mircle within itself, because had I not found out as early as I did, they said I would had lost the baby, so I knew it was God is progress. Well, my husband left the other woman ( I was praying for her salvation).. and he moved back in with his parents. He sais he loves me and our children and wants to be with us. God has restored my love for him as well. I love him more now than I ever have. Again, I cannot blame him for everything because there are so many things that I have been guilty of myself. There are a few problems though. First, everybody including my family is against us being together. Second, I am still praying for his salvation.. ( he hasnt drank in almost a year now, but I am still scared).. Thrid, I want to make sure that when we do come together again that it is on God's timing and not my own, because I am so scared of messing up. Forth, I want God to be the center of our marriage. So that is my testimony.. If anybody has any feedback or advice they would like to give, please let me know.. I am sorry that was so long. I love you all and thank you so much for your prayer. I consider myself very lucky compared to some of the situations that you all have been in. Please keep praying for my husbands salvation. God bless you all...

Posted by oz/kristal26 at 10:42 PM EDT
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