Power by AineRose

Title: Power

Author: AineRose

Rating: PG

Pairings: None

Disclaimer: I own none of this but they storyline.

Feedback: Deeply appreciated.

Power by AineRose

It wasn’t like I chose this. This whole ‘let’s save the world’ thing. It chose me. No, they chose me. Them, with their whole ‘let’s chain a girl to a rock, put a demon in her, give her supernatural strength, and leave her to fight the forces of evil while we sit around on our butts with our funky sticks’. Or is it tea?

The point is, I was chosen. Me. And even though it was hard, and boring, and icky, it was me. Because I was a Slayer. I am a Slayer. The Slayer is me. Because I had a choice. I didn’t have to fight. I could have just given up. But I didn’t. And that’s why they chose me. That’s why they chose Kendra, and Faith, and all the other Slayers. Because, they would do it. Slay, that is. And when Faith came along, I could have given up, let her have the gig. But I didn’t. ‘Cause I know how hard it is, how lonely it is. And deep down, I love it.

The girls shouldn’t have been Slayers. Not all of them. Some of them are Slayers. Because they know. They know they’re all alone. The First was right. No matter how many people, or slayers, or demons you put in a room with you, you’ll still be a Slayer. Alone. Not Buffy. Not Whatever-Your-Name-Is. Slayer. Not even The Slayer, A Slayer.

The girls are weak. Inside, they are crying. They want to cling to what they used to be, what they used to be part of. Some don’t. Some never were part of anything; some were always alone, even if they never knew it. Those are the true Slayers. Those are the ones who would have made it if I died. Those are the ones who would have kept on fighting.

The others are lost. They have power they shouldn’t, power they never knew they could have. I know how they feel, really, I remember. And I bet that’s what happened to Spike and Angel when they first were vamped; what happened to Oz when he woke up beside that rock; what happened to Willow when she did her first spell.

Power. It flows. It bleeds. Blood, rushing through your body. Sex for the first time. Liquid magma swallowing you. Its adrenaline- Pain, love, anger, hate, tears. It’s living and breathing inside of you. It’s you.

Because when it gets down to it, all that’s there is you. Not a Slayer, just you. I think the girls thought that when they became Slayers they would be stronger inside. Like it would sort out all your problems, and you would be immortal. It doesn’t. It’s just power.

And it swallows you whole if you don’t watch your back. God knows I’ve been tempted. Spike and Angel gave in to the vampire in them; Oz went and became a wolf all the time, even though he tried to get rid of it; Willow was swallowed completely. But they aren’t weak. No, power isn’t weakness. It’s blood.

It flows through you.

And from inside you it devours.

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