myeh. i need to redo my résumé. this one is old & crappy. x__x O.B.sessed >>> http://orli.issexy.tv ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ hi there... welcome to my ugly résumé. ok... i know this is pretty boring... not like anyone's gonna read it anyway. yea.... unless you're reading it right now, in which case you can disregard the previous statement. but of course since nobody actually is going to see this, there's no point in typing this & i'm just wasting my energy & ok now i'm rambling so i should probably shut up.... anyways.... bands that i think are pretty darn cool: a.f.i., sublime, lbda, green day, eve 6, offspring, goo goo dolls, korn, rhcp, pinhead gunpowder, third eye blind, papa roach, lit... other cool stuff: ~ um... not being like me? ~ b-ball (i remain a loyal knicks fan no matter how much they suck...) ~ tennis ~ south park ~ db ~ dbz ~ dbgt (well, kind of) ~ cowboy bebop ~ yu yu hakusho ~ trigun ~ other anime ~ game show network ~ game show network.com (play phrase frenzy & lingo plus... they're cool) ~ daria ~ austin powers ~ zoolander ~ hiei ~ goten ~ ninja murasaki !! ~ orlando bloom ^___^ ~ legolas ^___^ ~ davey havok ;-) ~ monkeys ~ cows ~ fire ~ ren & stimpy ~ bubble busters... the best video game ever!! ~ sleeping ~ hot topic ~ taco bell ~ drawing/art stuff ~ penguins from canada ~ um... stuff that has stars & moons & stuff like that on it... ~ web page designing stuff... ~ books about king arthur ~ druidism ~ puzzles ~ dancing hamsters ~ french & welsh & other cool languages ~ saying "mwahahahaha" ~ being a pathetic obsessive loser... well no, actually i just don't have much of a choice about that... ~ umm... did i mention orli? ^_____^ (& davey) www.geocities.com/ffac02/home.html ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ some quotes & other exciting stuff: (yea, i should probably get some new quotes here soon.... er, newer-ly added ones at the bottom) "there's nothing wrong w/ being a loser... it just depends on how good you are at it" ~billie joe armstrong "school is supposed to be practice for the future, & practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice??" ~billie joe armstrong "never run in the rain w/ your socks on" ~billie joe armstrong “ok, i have something important to say. well, it’s not really important, but if you want you can listen. ok, so you're at the beach, right. you're just laying in the sand, getting all sandy. & suddenly you discover a rash. like, & you find this fungusy rash, & it turns all green & purple, & whatever other colors fungusy rashes are. so, you go to the doctor, & he’s like, there’s nothing wrong. so you go home, & you realize it’s coming off on the itchy carpet. so you realize you're allergic to sand. & you get sand in your hair, & you go bald, & umm, you start growing all these funny <uh, insert word here... hehe>-shaped objects on your chest. i just thought that would be funny.” ~d.j. “it is normal to be weird because everyone is weird therefore we are all normal” “i went into a McDonald’s yesterday & said, ‘i’d like some fries.’ the girl at the counter said, ‘would you like fries w/ that?’” ~jay leno “don’t spend 2 dollars to dry clean a shirt. donate it to the Salvation Army instead. they’ll clean it & put it on a hanger. next morning buy it back for 75 cents.” ~william coronel “suppose you were an idiot. & suppose you were a member of Congress. but i repeat myself.” ~mark twain “a country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs” ~german proverb "i have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but i don't always agree w/ them” ~george bush, US president "i was under medication when i made the decision to burn the tapes" ~richard nixon, US president "other than that, mrs. lincoln, how did you like the show?" "the worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bureau]" "all general statements are false" "rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art" "really, officer, i'm not as think as you drunk i am, i swear to dog!" "back down the bully to the back of the bus, cuz it's time for them to be scared of us" ~third eye blind, wounded "peers don't know what they can't see - they can't see inside of me - it's sickening how comforting the privacy of the mind can be" ~eve 6, how much longer "good music is good music, & that should be enough for anybody” ~brad nowell "she had loved him so many years that now when she could look on him without desire, she felt hollow inside" ~from the mists of avalon "i'm sick of not living to stay alive" ~ the offspring, all i want cartman: yea, we're gonna use him to help make money at our bake sale tomorrow stan: don't say use him, you big silly goose <car comes to a screeching halt> stan's dad: what did you just say?! stan: i just called cartman a name. he's a silly goose dad: uh-huh... you do not say big silly goose!! you call him an a**hole like normal kids! stan: but dad- dad: stanley, you call your friend an a**hole this instant! stan: a**hole dad: that's better "excuse me, are you high, or just incredibly stupid?" President Bush: "i assure you, i am not high" "...fate... is inexorable. life is a jest of the Gods... & there is no justice." ~from the winter king "i think it's alright that i do what i like, cuz that's the way i wanna live" ~green day, j.a.r. "i don't fight, i annihilate; & when i'm done, you'll be nothing more than dust in the wind" ~tao pai pai "yo-yos are sexy." ~me "take life as it is and enjoy every day" ~orli (!) "there was no alcohol involved. in a way, if there had been, it almost would have made it acceptable as you think, 'what fool would do that, otherwise?'" ~orli (!!!) "without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes" ~satan ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Januario-isms: (îche!) Key: english french ~ otherwise it's un peu étrange ~ why don't you lever? ~ we're gonna do something créatif ~ you're going to trouver trois images ~ the movement of the vent ~ pretty good, mon ami ~ yea, you do need this for l'examen ~ let's do it rapidement ~ i can even vous donner... ~ ok, let's look at the troisième partie ~ let's do les devoirs ~ you're going to créer un article ~ it's a little compliqué ~ but you can prendre autres choses ~ that's a très bonne idée ~ i expect beaucoup de vous ~ vous lisez bien too ~ what are you saying à propos to... ~ we're gonna changer les personnages ~ you courez ~ one thing about the paquet ~ you have to changer quelquechose ~ sorry, mon ami ~ you have Harpagon qui est... ~ he walks around the tabouret ~ he's on quatre pattes ~ you have to arrêter ~ très annoyed ~ you got it, mon ami ~ like this, mon ami ~ that's the partitive, mon ami ~ you forgot to kick the tabouret, mon ami ~ you're going to fais... ~ then you sit down au même temps que vous parlez ~ he does have beaucoup d'argent ~ go ahead, mon ami ~ ...which you don't find très souvent ~ we just said les paroles are les mots à un chanson ~ it's actually l'évider, mon ami ~ that's ok, mon ami ~ how would you do it, mon ami? ~ i'm going to give you un petit paquet ~ you have to quitter ~ bosser is to work très dur ~ mais vous comprenez, right? ~ you're going to introduire ~ you can say comestible en anglais ~ you know what happens vendredi ~ we're going to monter... ~ ...really tired maintenant ~ the attic, mon ami ~ you're being a big baby, en faite ~ we're gonna essayer ~ i'm going to envoyer... ~ that's why i want you to travailler ~ you gotta grab his shirt, mon ami ~ get on the stool, mon ami ~ i wanna see quelquechose ~ heading toward the sortie ~ you can just look, mon ami ~ you gotta pretend to look in the pockets, mon ami ~ read the second page, mon ami ~ no, i lived in an apartment, mon ami ~ we can use that pour projeter... ~ on is neutral aussi ~ i went straight to princeton, mon ami ~ put the magic cards dans la... ~ i mean, à la fin... ~ look, chapitre 2 déjà! ~ why did you put the "e"? ("e" pronounced like the french e, not english) ~ it was classique, mon ami ~ to voir ~ that's gonna take forever, mon ami ~ lets do an exercise orale ~ you get trente secondes ~ why do they get along so bien? ~ i don't speak english, mon ami ~ that's a bonne phrase ~ i'm making it fancy, mon ami ~ it was a bonne histoire ~ i was sleeping on quelquechose ~ you might get a 90, mon ami ~ are you a neat freak, or est-ce que vous laissez trainer les choses? ~ maybe you will, mon ami ~ why don't you go ahead and lisez un peu? ~ you have just une petite chose à lire ~ Baby je m'habille chez Baby Gap ~ vous recevez pretty good dinners ~ you're a sociopath, mon ami ~ M. Januario: ...a socio-economically impaired complex of buildings. Kevin: you mean a project? (last updated: 5-4-03) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Why did the chicken cross the road??? DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: What chicken? KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.) CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cros s the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Say "Cow" before each one of these words: ~ Cows ~ About ~ Talking ~ Idiot ~ Stupid ~ This ~ Got ~ I ~ Long ~ How ~ Look | | Scroll Down | | \/ Say "Cow" after each word: ~ Cows ~ About ~ Talking ~ Idiot ~ Stupid ~ This ~ Got ~ I ~ Long ~ How ~ Look | | | | \/ Now say "Cow" before and after each word: ~ Cows ~ About ~ Talking ~ Idiot ~ Stupid ~ This ~ Got ~ I ~ Long ~ How ~ Look | | | | \/ Now.... start at the bottom of the list & read the words going upward. ~ Cows ~ About ~ Talking ~ Idiot ~ Stupid ~ This ~ Got ~ I ~ Long ~ How ~ Look :-) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ok um.... as you can probably figure out, i don't have much of a life. but hey... at least i'm willing to admit that i'm a loser (& if you've read this far down, then obviously i'm not the only one...) :-P yea... but feel free to IM me if for some strange reason you feel like it. my screen names are EmpYrEalFlaMez66 and now the world 66. go ahead... i dare you to. just click the little IM button, paste my screen name there, type "hi" or whatever you feel like saying, & click 'send' (or press enter)! it's that simple, people... come on, you know you wanna IM me & make me feel all special & stuff. cuz when i don't feel special, i get sad. :*-( & when i get sad, bad things happen.... & wowness, i'm a loser... but, yea, i should probably go now... since you're not reading this anyway so, yea... see ya later ~jess =) www.3d-edu.com www.something-fishy.org www.pale-reflections.com :-/ @__@ o__O  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! { from J-17 magazine (UK) - october 2002 issue - } Understatement of the year: [On himself] "The girls have got a bit excited."  am i in love with orlando bloom?? absofuckinglutely! you know you're obsessed with orlando bloom when: ~ you stay up til 3 am printing pics of him & making a list of reasons why you're obsessed with him. ~ you frequently visit the site hot-elf.com. ~ you even know that the site hot-elf.com exists. ~ your username on the hot-elf.com message boards is ILoveOrli. ~ your buddy icons, live journal avatars, & desktop wallpaper are all pictures of orlando &/or legolas. ~ you start counting down the days until the release of his next movie - starting with 171. ~ you post random pics of him in your live journal, just for the hell of it. ~ you think he looks good in pink. ~ you recognize all of his different hairstyles. ~ you download 50 megs worth of pics of him - in 2 days. ~ you know how old he was when he lost his virginity. ~ you debate whether he looks better with blonde hair or brown hair. ~ you debate whether he looks better with blue eyes or brown eyes. ~ you find pics of him from magazines from foreign countries (other than england). ~ you take the time to ponder what he might be doing at this very moment. ~ you wish there were more legolas scenes in the LotR movies. ~ you wonder if he ever goes online & reads stuff about himself. ~ you get disappointed when you find out he's a technophobe. ~ you've met people online who are almost as obsessed as you are. ~ you (try to) post a quote of his in thought for the day. ~ you think yo-yos are sexy. ~ you think pointy ears are sexy. ~ you want to learn to speak elvish. ~ you make a shrine to him in your locker. ~ you feel stupid when someone tells you that there's also a hotelves.com & you didn't know about it. ~ next to Occupation you write "Orli-obsessor" &/or "Orli-worshipper." ~ next to Location you write "Orliland." ~ you search google for legolas icons & end up finding a bunch of disturbing slash sites with stories about him having sex with elijah wood & other various LotR cast members. ~ you have pictures/quotes of him in your bbs résumé. ~ you freak out when you find that hotelves.com is actually a site with links to elf porn. ~ you freak out trying to get tape so you can put pictures in your locker to make your shrine. ~ you can come up with 54 reasons (& counting) to prove that you're obsessed with him. ~ his name is listed at least 4 times under "interests" in your live journal profile. ~ all your friends end up hating you just because you wanted to buy a f***ing legolas poster. ~ the url of your new website is orli.issexy.tv. ~ your username on the Orlando Bloom Fans message board is OrliIsGod. ~ you watch Wilde just so you can see the 50 seconds of the movie where he appears. ~ you keep rewinding the movie so you can watch those 50 seconds over & over again. ~ you can think of reasons why you're obsessed with him that aren't appropriate to put in your bbs résumé. o__O ~ your username on the Fanhost message boards is I.Live.For.Orlando. ~ your AIM away messages are somehow related to him & his sexiness. ~ you make your friend lend you his Black Hawk Down dvd just so you can see him... even though war/action movies bore the hell out of you. ~ your little brother makes fun of the fact that you're obsessed with him. ~ you go to the bookstore & find the LotR section just so you can see if there are any books that have pics of him. ~ you go out of your way to include pics of him in your powerpoint presentations for french class. ~ you go to lordoftherings.net & keep reloading the page just so you can hear him say, "hello, i'm orlando bloom. welcome to lord of the rings dot net." ~ your username at pogo.com is orliisfrickinhot. ~ you debate whether he looks better with long hair or short hair. ~ you debate whether he looks better with or without facial hair. ~ you come to the conclusion that he's sexy as hell no matter what his hair looks like. ~ you are a member of (at least) 14 different live journal communities that are somehow related to him. ~ you plan to be married to both him and davey havok (at the same time). ~ your user name on Kazaa is orliwhore66. ~ your new AIM screen name is ILoveOrli66. ...... http://empyrealflamez.livejournal.com enter if you dare... homophobia sucks eeep! i love davey... a.f.i. is life. ... my intimate is no one... |
