Your First Visit to the Shul

If you have read on the subject of Judaism and are considering the possibility of conversion you may want to take that next big step and visit a shul (a shul is the same thing as a synagogue). There are several things to consider when planning to attend services at a shul. One of the first issues is what kind of shul. You may be lucky enough to be able to choose from orthodox conservative, reform or reconstructionist. Please keep in mind that there are groups out there that call themselves “Messianic Jews.” They may even invite you to visit their “Messianic Synagogue.” You should be forewarned, these groups are not Jewish and their places of worship aren’t synagogues. They are merely deceptive Christians and their “synagogues” are nothing more than churches.

Of the movements, reform will most likely be the easiest to find and reconstructionist will be the most difficult. If you have several different synagogues near by (of different movements) I would highly recommend you try to visit each. You may want to call the synagogue in advance to speak with the Rabbi prior to your visit. However, its certainly not required. If you plan to attend an orthodox shul it would be best to speak with the Rabbi first. There are certain prayers and customs which would offend orthodox congregants if done by non-Jews. The Rabbi could prepare you for this in advance and help you avoid what could be a problematic and disturbing situation for you and other congregants.

What should you wear to services? Dress modestly in your “Sunday best.” If it looks like something you wouldn’t expect to wear in a church, it’s a good rule not to wear it to synagogue. Wearing a Kippah/Yarmulke is required of men. It is not required of women however in many non-orthodox shuls women wear them as well. If you own your own kippah it would be appropriate to wear it. If you don’t own one, don’t worry. At most shuls a basket of kippot are provided at the door to use. At morning services adult Jewish men ( married men only in orthodox shuls ) and Jewish women ( in non-orthodox) wear a Tallit. A Tallit is a prayer shawl and should not be worn by non-Jews.

If you are attending an Orthodox shul on Shabbat you should not park in the parking lot ( Unless the Rabbi has told you otherwise). Orthodox Jews don’t drive on Shabbat and they usually have the parking lot roped off. If it is a synagogue of the liberal movements, merely park where everyone else does. You may be greeted by other congregants when you arrive at the shul. The common greetings for Shabbat are “ Gut Shabbos ” or “ Shabbat Shalom.” You should merely respond with one of the greetings.

When finding a seat it would probably be best if you sit near the back so that you can observe others and what they are doing. It also keeps the attention off you during the services. You are perfectly welcome to sit in the front if you are comfortable with that. Just do as the others are doing. If there is something that confuses you or you aren’t comfortable with doing, then simply don’t do it.

Stand when the congregants stand and sit when they sit. Keep in mind that orthodox shuls have separate seating for men and women. If you plan to bring a spouse, friend, or significant other of the opposite sex you should inform them of this in advance. In synagogues of the other movements, separate seating isn’t practiced and you guest may sit with you.

You should have a Siddur (prayer book) at your seat or they may be in the back of the synagogue. Some synagogues call out the page numbers ( orthodox do not ) and others don’t. Try to keep up if you can. Some siddurs have Hebrew, English and Transliteration ( Hebrew sounds spelled out in the Latin letters) If you feel comfortable saying the Hebrew along with the congregation, then do so. If not, you may read along in the English. Remember to treat the siddurim with respect. Don’t sit it on the floor and try to avoid dropping it.

After the services there is an oneg. An oneg is a little social gathering with food. This would be a great time to introduce yourself to the rabbi and members of the congregation. Jews are just like any other people. Congregants may stare at you, the newcomer. They may be very welcoming; introducing themselves and offering assistance. They may also appear standoffish or cold. They are usually just curious about you. Don’t let an unwelcoming first encounter scare you off. As people get to know you they will warm up to you.

If you feel this is the synagogue you want for your conversion, call the rabbi during the week and remind him that you visited the synagogue the previous week and that you would like to make an appointment to discuss conversion. Attending services will likely let you know if this is or isn’t the right choice for you. This first encounter will lead you down the road of Judaism that will last a lifetime.

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