a new day
i ended up working on that float. it turned out great considering we had a $50 budget. i went to a bible study tonight. we all went around an picked out a verse or verses we've been meditating on..or ones that have caught our eyes. i chose proverbs 16: 3, 6, and 9. it kinda keeps me in check--reminding me that as long as i place my life in Gods hands and commit my life to him, then ill succeed in the name of jesus. ...that my fear for god keeps evil away..that i have the power in my spirit to rebuke evil if jesus' will be done. i know i may sound like a hypocrite all things considered..but i feel a change inside. not in my flesh or even soul but in my spirit. i never thought id ever be talking like this but i gues its a positive change. do y'all feel me? not just hear me, but feel me? things are so harrrrrrrd ahhhhhhhhh! anywho, i guess this is my lil bit for now. holla at the kid.

get down
get down from there! im at home now chillin like a villian with a gold tooth fillin skillin and spillin these rhymes with no feelin'. tight work. anywho. classes are getting better for me. its all good now. i just need to get my head together. these next few weeks will hopefully prove to be good ones. at least for that i hope. anywho, i talked to toya a lil last nite. she's doing well. hadnt really been in contact thus far into the semester--but i guess thats just the cycle with 'old friends.' anywho, tomorrow, lilo and stitch is playin at the college. but the honors freshmens are building the homecoming float at DL's house. which should i chose? i think ill go work on the float. show a little involvement. well i have to go fold clothes. peace
mayo

whew
frustrations seems to be the only word that describes my state of being--emotional, spiritual, sexual, everything. i dont know what it is..this feeling i have inside is --well it sucks. i feel like taking a boxing class to just release all of these frustrations and all this agression. i dont know why im so angry--but i am. well i wouldnt call it anger..but its definitely something in there. and i cant get rid of it.

im going to orlando on the weekend. its for SWAT..itll be a swell opportunity to sort of escape the every day hustle and bustle of college life. im loooking foward to it. im also running out of patience...patience with people..i dont know what it is..but its not good. i find myself geting a lot more irritated. ack. anyways, it had been a while since i had updated so here it is..

mayo

sick and tired
yea im sick and im tired tweek has got me wired...

oo fat hat...i never was best buddies wit quigley, but i pride myself in saying i went to school with him. great music. anywho, i think im in a better condition than last night when i posted. i went to a SWAT meeting this afternoon before work. jarred and i are going to orlando in 2 weeks for a BOD meeting. im excited to see everyone specially my boii charlie! well i think ima sign out and *attempt* some homework, so holla!
auroramayo

my shattered
my shattered dreams and broken heart are mending on the shelf i saw you holding hands standing close to someone else now i sit all alone wishing all my feelin was gone i gave my best to you nothing for me to do but have one last cry one last cry before i leave it all behind i gotta put you outta my mind this time stop livin a lie i guess im down to my last cry

old skool brian mcknight...gotta love it...brings to the surface so many emotions and thoughts--probs at my reflectiveness and memories. so many songs are so applicable to so many people..have you ever had that feeling of just sitting back and asking yourself who exactly it is you are? i was chillin outside the lab with salem and asked my self what is really important to me--i didnt have an answer. i feel empty--as thought im not living for anything in particular--dont get me wrong i dont have anything not to live for--i guess im just looking for something to grasp--something to hold on to and embrace. a person? not necissarily--a passion that represents me and nothing but me. will i find it? iunno but i feel like i need to. something to give me the motivation and drive to press on. i feel like i want to be in a deep sleep--where all the answers will find me and fill me up. but i know its not likely..i guess thats what life is all about-finding answers only to find more questions. i need something but i know not what it is.

im going to the and1/roy jones jr celeb game sat with tina and steph. i got a new fit for it and im tryin to get aimee my manager to sell me her af1's there's too small fer her...anywho..this period of self-reflection that seems to creep up on me periodically throughout my meandering life has taken hold of me and i just..i just dont know. i just dont know...

Go Rattlers
So im sitting in the computer lab at school. its 1:02 am. i still have to do a chapter of statistics and read 2 chapters of prin. of mass comm. i just fininshed my human dev. work and im chatting with folks online. where are my priorities? beats me. anywho. we went to the famu game in tally yesterday. me rachara, kaura, and tina. it was tight work. makes me realize just how different UWF is from all the other schools--so small, so not diverse, so quiet. im jealous of the big universities. i called jenny, to maybe get up wit here while i was there but it didnt happen. i met up wit carsolina and visited her dorm--ghetto. i had to work today, and i chilled wit stephanie....not much to tell specially since im hella tired...ur getting the basics. welli gotta go..im bout to fall out holla
mayo

GRRRRRRRRREAT BOOKS!
So i was complaining last entry about how i had to read 8 books for my great books class. well i got thru 1/2 of the second book. not cool. we had a quiz..a 2 question quiz, each worth 5 points. guess what i made? i made a NINE! thank goodness for IB BS! i was so thrilled that it brightened up my otherwise dreary day! i went to barnes and nobles after work to study with a friend...good quiet time...nice conversation. all that was missing was a Mocha Latte. i just got my hair braided and my head is sore. its cute, but it seems the older i get, the thinner my hair gets. oh well. Rashara did it, Tina's friend...i met tina at orientation in june. cool peeps. they are both from fort myers. i gotz to be at work at 6. Krys said something about a poetry event downtown that starts at 9...dunno if ill go. i mean i dont even have the details. dont know where or how much? to go or not to go, that is the question. specially since i have to get up at 7 tomorrow to cash my check and get ready to go to tally-ho for the FAMU football game and see Carsolina for her EIGHTEENTH birthday. its about time ole' girl caught up! no more sneaking illegally into the clubs. hehe. what a joke. i saw that famu is playing howard at howard--sounds like a ROAD TRIP to me! well on that note i think ill head out. maybe i'll wear a UWF shirt for pride to the FAMU game...ya think? yes? no? maybe so? iunno, ill just go wit the flo. aiite peeps im outta here.
mayo

GREAT BOOKS!
Great Books is a course that all honors students have to take here at UWF. Its a study of Classics that have greatly shaped the western civilization--they're all at least 500 yrs old. we have to read 10 books a semester. is that not rediculous? so as you can assume, its a challenge. not to mention that the liturature is written in a fashion that is very hard to understand. i have to read 8 books of Homer's Iliad by 1 tomorrow. granted thats 'only' 197 pages..but if u know me well, you know i tend to drift. my dad and i were talking and he was saying how he had a conference wit my teachers in my JR year...and how one for them said " she'll be looking at you, starting straight at you, but when you looked in her eyes, you could see that she was a million miles away." and he said the rest of my teachers nodded. interesting isnt it? well i gotta get to reading. im thinkin bout joining the sailing team...see, im drifting again. chris and the twins came over today..the twins wanted to see my dorm. it was nice just chillin out, shootin the breeze, yenno. but anywho, i MUST read! holla

firstweek
so its the friday after school has started and i have one really big problem: i cant wake up in time for class. i mean i try--ii really do. i even have wake up calls in addition to my alarm clock. i need to join oversleepers anonymous or something. ive missed a lot of class lately, and that is so not good. other than that, things are pretty ok here on campus. not GREAT, but not bad either. i just have to get in the groove of things a lil mmore. as far as the love life--it doesnt really exist as much. with such a superabundance of things to do, its hard to keep in touch with a lot of people. i mean there are the constants--the people that will be around always no matter what, but there's no new found interest in anyone and vice versa. which is suprisingly okay for me...im not really worried about it. well i gotta go take care of some business. holla

settled
im settled in my dorm. my roomie is cool. i met some folks who are pretty down too. i just wish it was a more ethnic campus you dig? its almost homogenous wit vanilla folks. anyways, me and jex went out to the beach for a family get together, made a dolphin outta sand, i tried to skim board and i fell on my ass and go sand burn. a mess. battle wounds--so sexy. classes start tomorrow, and i swear, im gonna graduate suma com laude--iunno if thats spelled right. haha how ironic. im thinkin bout going out for softball too--uwf team is off the chain, so iunno if im up to par. since ive been so lax this summer, my muscles are like mush.if i dont make it, ill go out for pensacola power football. yea baby. i can knock folks down its funn. we have 'argo glow' tonight..its like a dance/social atmosphere. looking foward to it, yes i am. let everyone see me shake my tail feather. on that note, ima go freshen up and get this sexy beast ready. holla at a playa when u see me in the streets
holla