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The Letter 

by Beth

 

The supply ship not only brought needed supplies, but a bag of letters for the officers and crew of the Indefatigable as well. Most of the men were thrilled to get messages from home. Lieutenant Bracegirdle had the happy duty of handing out each of the letters.

 Lieutenant Hornblower offered to deliver Lieutenant Kennedy's letter as Archie was busy on the gun deck and since he really didn't expect any mail, he chose to keep on working. He never expected what was about to happen.

 Horatio didn't recognize the handwriting on the letter. He knew the handwriting of Archie's mother and his father, although Lord Kennedy seldom wrote to his son. Archie had shown him some of the scathing letters the old bastard had written. Horatio could never understand how someone could be so cold hearted to his or her own flesh and blood. Lady Kennedy's letters were the gentle letters of a loving mother and Archie treasured each one. Those were the only two who ever seemed to write to Archie. What a lonely life it must be for him to have family and NEVER hear from them.

 Making his way to the gun deck, Horatio found Archie hard at work on one of the guns. It should have been a crewman's duty, but Lieutenant Kennedy seemed to thrive on getting his hands dirty along with the men, and his men respected him for it. Just as Horatio had his loyal men, so did Mr. Kennedy. Horatio could not help but be proud of all that Archie had accomplished. It had been a long, hard battle but it was a battle he was winning. Lord Kennedy would not get the satisfaction of seeing Archie fail as he had so cruelly predicted he would.

 "Archie, there's a letter here for you. See, you should have been on deck."

 "If I had been there, I would have walked away empty handed as I do most of the time. So who is it from this time?  Mama or another burning epistle from the old man?" Archie asked, half way expecting it to be something awful from his father since he hadn't written in a long while.

 "I don't recognize the handwriting, so I guess it will be a surprise." Horatio grinned as he passed the letter over to Archie. He never expected the color to drain from Archie's face the moment he laid eyes on the handwriting. Archie staggered a bit and sat down on the gun carriage.

 "Oh God, Horatio, I don't know if I can open it."

    Horatio didn't know what to make of his best friend's reaction. Obviously, Archie knew the handwriting, and something about it hit him harder than a cannonball in battle.

 "Archie, are you all right?" he asked gently.

 "No Horatio, I'm not. I never thought I would ever see this handwriting again. I'm not sure I can read the letter, but if she wrote to me now, there has to be a damned good reason!"

 "She?" Horatio questioned.

 "Yes, Horatio, SHE.......the girl I once dreamed of making my wife."  A tear rolled down Archie's cheek as he spoke. " Give me a few minutes alone to read this and I'll try to explain it. You are my best friend, I owe you at least that much."

 "I'm here if you need me" Horatio said as he gently gripped Archie's arm. "Take all the time you need. I'll be in my quarters when you are ready for company again".

 The members of Archie's division were back below decks now and ready to resume work on the guns. Archie gave them instructions and told them he would be back to check on their progress shortly. They could clearly see the young Lieutenant was visibly shaken by something, so they all gave him a quick " Aye aye, Sir...take all the time you need, we'll get this job done!!"

 Archie headed for his quarters and sank quickly down on his bunk to open the letter. His hands shaking, he began reading.

 'Dearest Archie,

  I hope this letter finds you well. It is difficult for me to write. Not knowing the reason or reasons for the abrupt end of your letters, I could quite possibly cause you some difficulty in your present life with this letter. However, I feel bound by our old and dear friendship to write it.

  Father passed away three weeks ago after a brief illness. He always looked on you as another son, and would have been overjoyed to congratulate you on your recent promotion. The Naval Gazette with news of your promotion to Lieutenant arrived several days after his funeral. I know your ship is presently at sea, so it is doubtful you would have heard of his passing.

  He very much wanted you to have his compass and charts as you followed his footsteps into the navy, unlike my brother who chose the Army. Please advise me as to the most expedient way for delivery of his bequests to you. I would not be opposed to meeting with you to personally deliver them, but if this would be inappropriate, I will have them delivered by someone else.

  I also wish to pass along my congratulations on your promotion. I mean that with all my heart. I always knew you would be a success in the Navy, in spite of what your father believed. I will always be proud of you, Archie. As I always have been in the past.

   I will close now before I say anything more that might cause you any pain. Please know that I will forever carry you in my heart, and I will smile whenever I hear of your future successes in His Majesty's Service.

   I am presently staying with Uncle William in Portsmouth if you wish to reply directly. He will remain in possession of the compass and charts until they are handed over to you.

 With love and affection,

Katy'

 Tears were streaming down Archie's cheeks as he finished reading the letter. All the pain he knew he had caused her, and she still wanted him to have her father's things. She still was willing to see him. He could tell by her words that she thought there was someone else in his life. Yes, there was now, but not in the way she thought. Oh god, why, had he been so cruel?

 "Stop it Archie!" his conscience told him, " You know why you did it. You had to do it. Just as you have to face Horatio now and tell him the truth you have kept hidden all this time!"

 Archie sagged on his bunk and buried his damp face in the pillow. He lay there for what seemed an eternity, then rose, splashed his face with water and headed to find Horatio.

 part 2

 

Archie made his way to Horatio's cabin. He wasn't sure how to begin to tell his best friend what he had been hiding all this time.  No, Horatio was more than a best friend; Horatio was a lover, a soul mate, and much more than a mere best friend. He would surely understand, at least Archie hoped he would. It was going to be a long story, one he should have told ages ago. It was only a few paces from his door to Horatio's, but it seemed like the longest journey in history.

 "Horatio, are you in there?" Archie asked quietly as he opened the door. Horatio was sitting in the chair reading.

 Horatio gave Archie a slight smile and motioned him to enter. "I told you I would be waiting whenever you were ready. Can you now tell me why you looked like someone was walking on your grave when you saw that handwriting?"

 "Yes, I think I can, at least I'll try", Archie said meekly as Horatio motioned him to sit on the bunk.

 "Please don't hate me for what I haven't told you before now." he began cautiously. " That would be more than I could bear. I did something a long time ago that I will regret until the day I die. But I was a lost soul at the time, and thought I was sparing someone I loved deeply from pain and possibly shame."

 "You asked me once if I had a sweetheart at home in England. You asked in prison in Spain and I wasn't able to answer you then. I'm not even sure I would have been able to answer you if I could have.  You see, I did have one, once. But I just stopped writing to her and never told her why. When I came back from prison, I should have at least written to explain, to give it all closure, but I was too ashamed to do even that."

 "My God, Archie, that doesn't seem at all like you," Horatio said with bewilderment. "Knowing you the way I do, you must have had a damn good reason".

 "Is Jack Simpson reason enough?" Archie was almost shouting, the pain evident in his tortured face. "He was the reason, but looking back on it all, I should have had the common decency to at least write Katy and tell her good bye. But I was young and scared and Jack had me by the balls, and I didn't know where to turn. It was BEFORE you came on board Justinian. After I cut her off, I just burned the letters that arrived from her without reading them. In my aching heart I knew what they said, and I couldn't bear more pain. Jack was providing quite enough all by himself."

 Archie began to sob. Horatio moved to the bunk and sat next to his friend, a comforting arm around his quaking shoulder. " It's all right now, Archie. You can tell me the whole story. I know the pain Jack caused you, I could never be judgmental of ANYTHING you did while that bastard was abusing you. Please continue, it will help to get it out in the open."

 Archie continued haltingly. " Katy and I were childhood friends. Her father was a Navy captain, and while he was at sea, she and her mother lived with her grandparents. They lived just down the way from my family. We literally grew up together. I loved her father's visits and his tales of life at sea. I wanted so badly to join the navy, but my father opposed it. He would not hear of it. I just kept dreaming of the navy. Katy even gave me one of her father's old uniforms. We had grand times playing Naval hero saving the damsel in distress.  Oh God, how I loved her, even as children.  I think I wanted to marry her from the time I was 8 years old. She felt the same way. We often talked about our future together, the serving Naval officer with his lovely wife, waiting patiently ashore, raising our children."

 The pain in Archie's face was evident. Horatio could see the love in Archie's eyes for Katy as he talked about her and he could see the tortures of the past.

 "Please continue Archie. She sounds like a lovely girl."

 "Horatio, she was, no IS a lovely girl; kind and gentle, far too good for the likes of me. Especially after Jack Simpson."

 Horatio reminded Archie that what Simpson had done was in the past, life had gone on, and Archie had picked up the pieces and gotten on with his life. That was what mattered. He had not gone willingly to Jack Simpson, so he should bear no blame for what occurred.

 "But, Horatio, what about us, what about what we have now?" Archie asked.

 "What we have is not evil, it's beautiful. There is no shame in it. But that isn't why we are here now; you were telling me about Katy. Please continue."

 A new look of pain crossed Archie's handsome face, Horatio wanted to reach out and hold him tightly, but Archie pushed his hands away.

 "Please let me finish, you have to know the whole story.  I had a riding accident when I was 12. My horse stumbled and I fell. I hit my head and was unconscious for days.  That's when the fits started. Not all the time, just when I was feeling very stressed. You can imagine how Lord Kennedy felt about that. He treated me like it was MY FAULT. The more he blamed me, the worse they became.  He put up with them for two years and that's when he decided maybe I SHOULD join the Navy. It would get me out of his way. I'd never amount to anything anyway, so let the Navy have me. With a little luck a cannonball would solve all of his problems. He would not have to deal with my fits and me. Hell, he might even be able to BRAG about his dead hero son.

 Katy's father had been injured and had retired from the Navy. He offered to get me a Midshipman's post with one of his friends but Lord Kennedy wouldn't hear of it. No, he would arrange it. He didn't want Captain Whitfield to get me a "soft" placement. Oh how I wish, Captain Whitfield HAD been the one I could have served under. When I look back now, He was very much like our Captain Pellew. Strong, determined, fair-minded....

 Katy and I said our good-byes and off I went to the Justinian.  Things were not so bad there the first few years. Captain Keene was a good man, until he got sick.  I went home for a visit just before my 16th birthday. Katy was so proud of me in my uniform. We pledged our love, and I even asked her father for her hand. He wouldn't agree to an official engagement until I was at least a Lieutenant, but he said we could consider ourselves 'promised'.  I can't remember a time in my past when things looked brighter.

 Shortly after my return to the ship, it became HELL ON EARTH with the arrival of another midshipman. A transfer from another ship, his name was Jack Simpson.

 Part 3

 

"Jack Simpson" Archie tensed as he spoke the name. " He came aboard and seemed very nice to begin with, then things started to change. When he realized he was the OLDEST midshipman, obviously serving the longest, he decided to play GOD, or Caesar as he loved to quote that damned "Render unto Caesar" phrase. He would find something he could use to torment the others to get his way. Some secret they didn't want others to know. He would twist and turn it until even the slightest thing was something horrible. I don't know why he chose me to be "his boy", but he did. He started tormenting me. Asking all kinds of personal questions. I didn't answer them. Honestly, I did my best NOT to give in to his tormenting. Then the beatings started. When that didn't work, he did worse." Archie was shaking as he spoke and Horatio was afraid Archie would have a fit from just remembering the ordeals".

 " Archie, if you want to stop, I'll understand" Horatio said gently.

 "No, Horatio, I HAVE to tell you ALL of it. You have to know all of my dirty little secrets now." 

 Horatio gave Archie a comforting squeeze and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks.

 "Katy was writing to me often in those days. She wrote of our hopes and dreams for the future. In one letter she mentioned our Pledge of Love. Horatio, it was more than a pledge. It never should have happened. I would not for the life of me have dishonoured her in anyway, but I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time.  I was about to leave again, and she begged me to make love to her ONCE before I left. She said it was to give her something to hold on to until I returned, something to hold on to FOREVER if I were to fall in battle before I could return. We weren't even at war. I shouldn't have given in. But I loved her so much, I could not bear to say no to her. Simpson found that letter. He used it to torment me. Threatening to tell her Father how I had raped his young daughter, what a monster I was.  I would have done anything to keep him from doing that. I hadn't raped Katy, it had been a gift of love to each other, but Jack turned it into something HORRIBLE. I was too young and afraid to fight him on it. I could just see Katy being shamed by her family. Jack told me the only life for her would be on the streets. It was more than I could bear. So to protect my love, I gave in to him. Whatever he wanted, just don't hurt Katy."

 "I didn't fight him, I should have, but I didn't. I kept telling myself it was for Katy. To save Katy, I would have given my life. I nearly did. Jack was brutal. He took what he wanted, made me do things that repulsed me, but I couldn't let him hurt Katy. When he seemed to feel he had lost the ability to torment me mentally, not just physically, He found a new way. He started to talk about finding Katy and having his way with 'my little whore' as he started to call her. He would show her what a real man was, not some half-baked boy. That's when I stopped writing to her. I was afraid he would intercept a letter and find out where she lived. I didn't want to risk it. Jack was already filling my head with terrible thoughts. He loved telling me no decent woman would ever want me near them now. I was a dirty, filthy, little whore. Not good for anything else.  I was so far gone at that point that I started to believe him."

 "I cut her off completely, thinking it best that way. She would move on to someone else and make a life for herself. She was still very young. I tried to rationalize it. It was for the best. She deserved much more than I could give her. She deserved more than "Jack's Little Whore".

 " Oh Horatio, I've wanted to write to her so many times, but how do I tell her the truth. She certainly would never want me again after hearing it and I could not live with the pitiful look she is sure to bestow on me. So I've never written and now she writes me. How she must hate me! I don't know what to do. Not to mention, the fact that we have something special between us now. How can I tell her, yes, there is someone else, and that it's a man?  She will think me worse than awful. Oh God, Horatio, will my torments never end?"

 Horatio thought for a moment, he wasn't sure how to begin. Archie had just poured his soul out to him. He wanted so badly to take Archie into his arms and comfort him, make mad passionate love to him and make it all go away, but he knew that wouldn't work this time. He had to find a way to help his love. Maybe it meant giving him up to his old love, he would gladly do that if he thought it would bring peace to Archie's heart and soul, but he doubted that even that would do it. He searched his brain for just the right words.

 "Archie," Horatio said softly, "You really do need to see her. You need closure, as I'm sure she does. If things should go smoothly, and you are able to rekindle what was there, I'll not stand in your way. You deserve a life of joy and happiness. What we have is wonderful and I would hate to lose it, but a home and family is something we can never give to each other. The day will come when the Admiralty will see fit to part us, and we will both go where duty leads us. You and I both know that.  Don't risk losing the chance at a lifetime of happiness on my account." Horatio's heart was breaking as he said the words, but he knew that no matter how badly they hurt now, they were true.  Archie had been through so much in his short life, he deserved the chance to have a real family with a woman who loved him. He just hoped that God would see fit to grant that to Archie.

"If things with Katy don't work out, I'm still here and will always be here for you. It will be worth it one way or another to ease your mind."

 "What would I do without you, Horatio? Again, you seem to have saved my soul. I don't know what I will say to Katy, with my rotten luck I'll have a fit right there and then, and won't be able to say anything." He smiled at Horatio, " maybe a fit would be a stroke of good luck! It would save me trying to find the right words to say to her. But you are right. I have to talk to her. If she hates me, it will serve me right. I won't even think about other possibilities until I see the look on her face when she sees me in person. I can't write to her now, it's too late for that; I have to see her face to face. At least she knows we are at sea, she will understand delays in a reply."

 part 4

 

Archie was feeling more at ease now. He had shown the letter to Horatio and told him more about Captain Whitfield. How he loved listening to the tales of sailing on a fighting ship. How the Captain had served in the American war. It was Captain Whitfield this and Captain Whitfield that......

Horatio could tell that Archie had looked to Katy's father for the love and attention his own father never gave him. It's no wonder he thought, that Archie tried so hard in the Navy. In his subconscious mind, Archie was still trying to live up to Captain Whitfield and earn his respect. The sad thing was that the Captain had not lived to see Archie's promotion and to see Archie reunited with Katy. That was going to happen, Horatio could just feel it in his heart that it would. But first, he had to get Archie back to England and into the same room with Katy. He also had to see just how the young lady felt about Archie these days. Her brief sentences in the letter, especially the one about carrying him in her heart, seemed to say that there were still feelings there. Horatio prayed that he was reading between the lines correctly.  

The days passed into weeks. Archie's moods varied greatly. Katy weighed heavily on his heart. He wanted to close his eyes at night and dream of her, but all too often Jack Simpson crept into those dreams and Archie would awaken drenched with sweat. How he wished he could be sharing a cabin with Horatio, where at least he could find comfort in his arms. But for now, stolen moments together would be all they could share and even those were few and far between. 

A dispatch vessel was sighted on the horizon. It signaled the Indefatigable that it had dispatches for the Captain, so the sails were eased and the Indy slowed to receive the dispatches. Horatio met the courier and escorted him to the Captain's cabin.

As he turned to leave, Captain Pellew called out " Mr. Hornblower, if you please, have the senior officers meet me here in one hour. I think I have good news."  

"Aye Aye Sir!" and with that Horatio turned and headed for the deck, all the while hoping that the dispatches meant they were homeward bound, even if it was only a brief stopover.

Archie was on watch when Horatio delivered the Captain's orders. His watch would be over in time for him to be in on the meeting as well. "Good news, you say, we could use a bit of good news around here. It's been rather dull as of late. What do you think it is, Horatio?" Archie asked, hoping his friend knew more than he was telling.

"I really have no idea, Archie. I certainly hope it means going home." In his heart, Horatio said a silent prayer that the dispatches were indeed a ticket home.

Archie paled a bit, but soon regained his color. " Yes, Home would be nice. I wonder if Katy will be at her uncle's in Portsmouth or back at her grandparent's home. I would really like to get this meeting over with."

"Over with?" Horatio questioned. "You do realize it could just be the beginning for both of you."

"Yes, but I'm not going to get my hopes up just yet. She may have a musket ball waiting with my name on it. She was quite a good shot. At least I'll be out of my misery then!" he looked for Horatio's reaction to the last comment. " No, I don't plan on anything stupid. I'm only joking. I think I have come to terms with it all in my mind. I will be all right, no matter what happens with Katy. I have you to thank for that Horatio. But I would like it if you would accompany me when I go to her uncle's house. I have no idea what his reaction will be to my showing up at his door, even though he knows I will one day be there."

"I will be happy to accompany you, but first we have to find out if that is truly where we are heading. For all we know, the admiralty could be sending us to the Indies instead. Palm trees, blue skies, tropical diseases."  His commentary was abruptly stopped by a punch to the arm.

" You sound like Styles with that comment. I think I heard him tell Oldroyd the same thing back at the bridge near Muzillac." Archie said with a smile.

The two young lieutenants headed for the Captain's cabin at the appointed time. The other officers also arrived in a timely fashion. The captain asked them each to sit. Then he began explaining the orders. As hard as he tried to concentrate, Archie's mind only heard one sentence. " We will be in Portsmouth for at least three weeks." His heart leapt at the thought, and then crashed down again as the captain called his name.

"Mr. Kennedy, by the look on your face, your mind is occupied elsewhere. Would you care to rejoin us, Sir?"

"Oh sorry Sir, forgive my inattention. It's just I haven't been home in so long, the news distracted me."

"That's understandable Mr. Kennedy, but in the future, I would suggest you keep your mind on the present situation."

"Aye, Aye Sir," Archie replied, trying hard to regain the present from his wandering thoughts.

"Well Gentleman, I think it's time we inform the crew and make sail for Portsmouth. You are all dismissed, except for you Mr. Kennedy. I would like a word with you, if you please." The Captain's eyes seemed to Archie to be burning a hole in his soul.

As soon as the last officer was out of the room, the Captain began.

"Mr. Kennedy, it has come to my attention that you recently lost someone very dear to you. I was unaware that you were acquainted with Captain Robert Whitfield. I served with him many years ago. He was a good friend."

Archie didn't know what to say to the Captain. How did he find out about Captain Whitfield? Had Horatio told the Captain the whole story? Damn, what was he to do now?

"Sir, may I ask how you found out about my acquaintance with Captain Whitfield and how you knew he was someone dear to me?" Archie asked firmly, fully expecting to be put in his place for the brazen boldness of his tone.

"Relax, Mr. Kennedy," the Captain said with a gentle smile. " Mr. Hornblower had mentioned to me that you knew Captain Whitfield a few days ago. A discussion of mentors brought up his name. I owe a great deal to Captain Whitfield, and I mentioned that fact to Mr. Hornblower. Apparently His Majesty owes a fine young Lieutenant to him as well. Mr. Hornblower explained to me that Captain Whitfield influenced you in your choice of the Navy over the Army. I was sorry to hear of his death. I believe you are also acquainted with his lovely daughter, Katherine."

" Yes sir, she and I grew up together." Archie wasn't sure how much more Horatio had said, so he cautiously added " but I haven't seen her since before I transferred to the Indefatigable."

"I take it then that you might be inclined to pay your respects to the young lady upon our arrival in Portsmouth." The Captain hesitated, then continued." I also wish to do the same but I must attend to matters with the Admiralty first. You, Sir, have no such pressing matters, so if you wish it, I will give you leave to pay your respects immediately upon arrival. If you wish someone to accompany you, I will also give him leave as well. I'm sure Mr. Hornblower would not mind such a duty."

Archie was both relieved and scared to death. He had just what he wanted and needed, but could he actually face Katy in person? Only time would tell.

part 5

Portsmouth was a welcome sight to all onboard the Indefatigable. All that is, except Archie Kennedy.

  Now that he had been alone with his thoughts and the reality of the situation, he was not sure if he could actually face Katy Whitfield. He wanted so much to see her again, to give her the profound apology she so rightly deserved, to tell her........ To tell her he still loved her. But that caused even more pain in his heart. He loved Horatio too. How could he mend one heart and break another? What made that choice all the more difficult was the fact that Horatio would be with him when he saw Katy.

 Archie spent the morning getting his uniform brushed and everything polished and ship shape. He remembered how Katy used to compliment him on his uniform. He wanted this new one to be better than perfect for her. He hadn't had it very long, so it was still in pretty good shape. Archie looked at himself in the small mirror in his cabin. I guess this will have to do, he thought to himself. I just hope she doesn't put a musket ball hole in it.

  Up on deck, Archie spotted Horatio talking with the Captain. Their faces looked grim but as Archie approached both took on much lighter expressions.

"Mr. Kennedy," the Captain said with a smile. " I see you have made yourself presentable for the young lady. That is good. I would not want her to get the impression that I run a sloppy ship. Her father's ship and officers were always in pristine condition." With a slight wink in Horatio's direction, he added, " I learned my lessons well."

Archie was pleased that his Captain also thought highly of Captain Whitfield. He only wished he had known all this time that Captain Pellew had known Katy's father. But then again, that might not have been a good thing. Doubts began to creep into Archie's mind. At least this way, he felt like Captain Pellew did not know of his real past with Katy.

  "Well Mr. Kennedy," Horatio said with a teasing grin. " We had best be off on our mission. We do not want to keep a young lady waiting."

" How can we keep her waiting," Archie questioned, " If she doesn't know we are coming?"

"Gentlemen," Captain Pellew interrupted," one thought occurred to me last evening. Miss Whitfield might not be in Portsmouth. She may have since returned to her family's estate in the country. Mr. Kennedy, I believe I recall you mentioning to me that you grew up with Miss Whitfield. May I take that to mean her family estate is near yours?"

"Yes, Sir. It is." Archie said nervously. He had hoped to find her in Portsmouth. An encounter with Lord Kennedy was not something he really wanted, so close on the heels of facing his past with Katy.

"Then Mr. Kennedy, if you should find the lady to be in the country, would you wish to pay your respects to her there and also visit your family?"

"I, I, I...." Archie stammered a bit and finally got the words out. " I would Sir, if I might be permitted the leave time. Would it be too presumptuous of me to ask if Mr. Hornblower could also have the same leave?"

Oh God, Archie thought to himself, The Captain's going to kill me for that one.

The Captain looked first at Archie and then at Horatio. Best Friends. He remembered his younger days and his best friend and he remembered standing in front of a newly promoted Captain Robert Whitfield. A smile came to his face.

"I think the Indefatigable can spare you two gentlemen for a few days. Just mind yourselves that you come back to her in the same condition you leave her. I will inform Mr. Bracegirdle of the possibility that both of you may be taking leave."

"Thank you, Sir," Archie and Horatio both spoke at the same time. Again the Captain smiled.  Ah, youth.......

"Dismissed, Gentlemen, Now on your way!"

"Aye aye, Sir", the young lieutenants chimed in unison as they headed for the door.

Once on deck, Archie turned to Horatio. "I hope you don't mind me asking for leave for you as well. I'm not sure I can face Father alone. I have not seen him since I returned from prison. The time that Mama came to Portsmouth, he was in Scotland. She did not tell him she saw me. He is still quite angry with me for being captured. I do not want to see him, but I can't go that near to Mama and not see her. It would break her heart. She always loved me, no matter how bad things were." A tear gently rolled down his cheek.

"Archie, things will be fine." Horatio said trying to comfort his friend. "I will be there with you. Forgive me for saying this, but I think I will quite enjoy watching the old bastard squirm when he sees LIEUTENANT Archie Kennedy walk in the door. You have proven him WRONG".

"He won't squirm, Horatio, it's not in his nature. He will FUME. You know, maybe he will just explode. Now there's a thought, maybe he will just explode into tiny pieces like a cannonball hitting rock. What a sight that would be!"  Archie laughed at the thought.

"Whatever happens, we will see it through together Archie. Isn't that what best friends are for?"

Archie smiled at Horatio. " What ever would I do without my guardian angel, Horatio Hornblower? Promise you will always be around to pick up the pieces of Archie Kennedy."

"Personally, Mr. Kennedy, I'm getting pretty tired of picking up those pieces alone. I hope I will soon have help. Horatio gave Archie a wink, hoping Archie wouldn't see through his brave act. " Of course, there is always the possibility that Miss Whitfield is a take charge kind of lady and she may send me packing so that she can have you and your pieces all for herself."

"You are pretty sure that she is going to take me back, aren't you Horatio?"

"Archie, if I were in her situation, I would take you back in a heartbeat. Can't you see that you are something special? When you tell her what happened, I think she will understand. But as I said before, if I'm wrong, I'll still be here. If YOU still want me."

For the first time, Archie realized that Horatio was just as nervous about this as he was; only Horatio was putting on that famous front of his. If Katy did take Archie back, Horatio would be alone again. That thought tore at Archie's heart as they began their journey into Portsmouth.

part 6.

  Archie had been to William Whitfield's house once just before joining the Navy. It had seemed an imposing structure then, but now it seemed much more so.  Standing before the massive door this time, he wasn't sure he was going to survive this visit. Horatio gave him a pat on the back and whispered in his ear.

"It will all be fine, you survived three years in prison, you can do this." 

"Horatio, they never walked me to the gallows in prison."

"Very funny, Lieutenant Kennedy."

Archie knocked on the door and within moments the great door opened. The butler inquired as to their identities.

"Lieutenant Archibald Kennedy,” replied Archie using the formal name he hated, "and Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower. Is Miss Katherine Whitfield or Mr. William Whitfield at home, sir? I am an old friend of Miss Whitfield and her father, Captain Whitfield. I wish to pay my respects."

The butler replied that Mr. Whitfield was at home, but Miss Katherine had returned to her country home. He invited the two young officers in and escorted them to the library. William Whitfield rose from his chair to welcome them.

" My stars, Archie Kennedy. How many years has it been lad? A lieutenant now, my congratulations. Robert would certainly be proud."

Archie was not sure if this was all real or if he were still fast asleep aboard the Indy and dreaming it all. "Thank you Sir.  Mr. Whitfield, may I present Lieutenant Hornblower. We serve together aboard the Indefatigable."

"Lieutenant Hornblower. It is a pleasure to meet you. Please, both of you make yourselves comfortable."

"Sir," Archie tried to remain calm as he spoke. “I wish offer my condolences on the death of your brother. Captain Whitfield was a fine man. All who knew him will miss him. Our Captain, Sir Edward Pellew also sends his condolences. He wished to pay his respects as well but Admiralty business had to take precedence."

"We all understand the Navy and it's ways. Robert certainly gave it enough of his life. But, for those so inclined, it's a fine life. You seem to be thriving, Archie."  William hesitated and then added, " now that you have returned to the living."

"Sir?" Archie questioned.

"Yes, Archie," William continued, " we all thought you lost at sea, until the happy news came of your resurrection. Katy was quite pleased to hear of it and also to hear of your promotion. Had you been a few days earlier, she could have offered her congratulations as well."

"I had hoped to see her, I received her letter and thought she might still be here." Archie was beginning to get nervous. All had gone smoothly so far, too smoothly. Was William Whitfield ignorant of the truth or just playing a cruel game with him. He sounded like all was well in the world. Archie wondered if he dared bring up old times. He began to feel faint, the color beginning to drain from his face. Horatio reached out to steady him.

"Are you unwell, Archie?" William asked.

"No Sir, just a bit tired. Please forgive me, but I must inquire. Do you really think Katy wants to see me? It's been a long time."

William was beginning to understand, Katy had never told him anything specific, but intuition told him something was amiss between the two young people. He had always liked Archie, as had his brother and Katy, or so he thought. Neither Katy nor Robert had ever said a harsh word against Archie, but obviously Archie was unaware of that.

William began cautiously, "Archie, did something happen between you and Katy that has caused some discord? She has never mentioned anything. In fact, she was quite distraught when you were lost.  I never understood why she never received word directly of your return."

"In a manner of speaking Sir, yes, something happened, but it was not discord. I would prefer not to discuss it until I have spoken with Katy. I owe it to her to speak of it with her first."

"Quite the gentlemanly thing, yes, quite the gentlemanly thing. She has returned to the country estate. I am very sorry that you missed her." William's words seemed very sincere to Archie.

"Sir, Lieutenant Hornblower and I have been given leave to visit my family. Do you think it would be permissible for me to visit Katy at your family's home? If you remember Sir, it is just a short distance from my parent's home."

"Of course it would be Archie. I think Katy would very much appreciate you making the journey to offer your condolences in person and to settle whatever the matter between the two of you. Her grandmother would also quite enjoy your visit. Mother is still just as daft as she always was, but she does love visits from men in uniform. It reminds her of the Navy men in her life. I will not detain you gentlemen any longer than necessary. I know you will wish to be on your way, but there is the small matter of Robert's bequest to you.

If you would follow me, gentlemen."

William led the two young men into an adjoining room. From the corner, he picked up a leather canister and from a small table, a brass compass case. "These were both Robert's. It was his dying wish that they be given to you, Archie. An Army officer has no need of Naval maps and charts, David was happy that his father wished you to have them. The compass was given to Robert upon his promotion to Captain. He hoped it would serve you well, and someday when you are a Captain, you would remember him fondly."

Archie fought hard to retain his composure. After all the pain he must have caused both Katy and Captain Whitfield, the dying man still wanted him to have these things. It was almost too much to comprehend. He thanked Mr. Whitfield and promised to treasure the compass and charts and to put them to very good use.

part 7 

Archie and Horatio returned to the Indefatigable to pack and arrange with Mr. Bracegirdle for their leave. Captain Pellew had left specific instructions that should a journey be necessary, they were to wait for his return before departing. When he returned, he called them to his cabin.

“Mr. Kennedy,” he began, “I have a letter I wish for you to deliver to Miss Katherine Whitfield. I trust you will not object to being a courier.”

“No Sir,” Archie replied with a smile, “ I will be happy to deliver the letter on your behalf.

“Now Gentlemen, Have you made your travel arrangements?

Travel arrangements? Both Lieutenants gasped. Horatio spoke first. “No Sir, we have not.” Hornblower was mentally kicking himself for the oversight. He had been so certain they would find Katy in Portsmouth, that he had completely neglected to consider travel arrangements. Archie’s mind had certainly been occupied elsewhere this day.

The Captain had been gazing out the window of his cabin. He turned and looked at the two young men standing before him

“Just how did you anticipate making this long journey? On foot, perhaps?”

“No Sir,” Archie stammered. “ I believe we will have to hire a coach, as Mr. Hornblower is not overly fond of horses and riding.”  With silly visions of Horatio and the horse at Muzillac dancing in his head, Archie Kennedy could not help but smile.

“There is another option at hand, Gentlemen, if you wish to consider it.” Captain Pellew continued, “ I happened upon a recent acquaintance on my return trip from Admiralty House. Lord Edrington is presently in Portsmouth.”

Archie and Horatio glanced quickly at each other. Both said the name at once, “ Lord Edrington. Sir?”

“Yes, Lord Edrington and his lovely wife, the Lady Margaret have been in Portsmouth for a wedding. They will be leaving to return home shortly.  I know that you both spent some time with Lord Edrington’s family on a previous leave. I trust I was not amiss in mentioning your travel plans to his lordship. As their journey will take them very near your family home, Mr. Kennedy, he has offered you two gentlemen transportation.  His coachman will be around presently for your answer.”

Neither Archie nor Horatio could believe their good fortune. Lord and Lady Edrington would be most welcome hosts and traveling companions.

The coachman soon arrived and as the answer was yes, he collected both the young travelers and their baggage, and then they were off to meet the Edringtons.

The two young Naval officers had indeed been guests of the Edringtons on their estate, shortly after returning from the disastrous mission to Muzillac. Lord Edrington was the consummate host, and Lady Edrington had been the most marvelous hostess. Archie and Horatio had been amazed that she was so understanding of “Special Friendships” among gentlemen. Lord Edrington had later explained to them his very special relationship with his wife. He said she was a very unusual woman. He called her “his treasure of a lifetime.”

The young men knew they would be among dear friends on this journey and could openly relax and enjoy the trip. That is, until they reached the Whitfield and Kennedy estates.

Lady Margaret was her usual joyous self. She excitedly chatted about her three children. How much they had grown in just a short time. How Clive hoped to someday join the Navy, to his father’s dismay! She never seemed to tire of talking about them.

Lord Edrington finally managed to get a word in, “ So….”  He had spoken with Captain Pellew and he knew of the condolence call, but he felt certain there was more to the story. He liked Archie Kennedy and he knew that Archie always seemed to avoid the subject of going home. He wanted to know what was really driving the young man to make this journey.

“What really brings you two gentlemen on this journey?” he asked. “ A simple letter of condolence could have been sent through the post.

Archie explained about Captain Whitfield and his bequest. He just barely mentioned Katy. He was afraid to say too much. He really was not up to a full explanation to his lordship, especially not in front of Lady Margaret. He also told Lord and Lady Edrington that he hoped to have a brief visit with his mother. That seemed to satisfy the Edrington curiosity, at least for the present time

The sun began to set and Lord Edrington tapped on the roof of the coach for the driver. He gave him instructions to stop in the next village. They would spend the night in the local inn and travel the remainder of the distance in the morning.

As the party waited in the coach, the coachman went inside the inn to make the necessary arrangements. When he returned, he explained there were only two rooms available. If the two young officers did not mind sharing a room, everything was arranged.

Both Archie and Horatio secretly welcomed the news. A knowing wink from Kit Edrington made them giggle softly. Lady Margaret just smiled at them.

After a lovely dinner, Lady Margaret said her good evenings and went upstairs to her room. Lord Edrington told her he would be along presently, but first he had a few things to discuss with the two young men over a brandy.

“Now, Mr. Kennedy,” he began with a commanding voice. “I would appreciate the WHOLE truth, if you please.” Then he added in a more gentle tone, “ Archie, I can see something is troubling you both. Please allow me to be of assistance. We are just three friends here. No more formalities, just friendship.”

Archie knew he could not keep the truth from his friend, Kit, any longer. With tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he poured forth the whole sordid tale of Jack Simpson and then his own abandonment of Katy.

“My God, Archie!” Kit Edrington said with the shock of what he had just heard clearly visible on his handsome face. “ I can see why you were afraid for your Katy. The man was a monster with no soul. Captain Pellew should be rewarded for removing him from the world. Have you ever told Katy the whole story?”

“No Kit, I have not seen her since I stopped writing to her. I have not had the courage even to write her to tell her I was alive after returning from those years in prison. I can barely imaging telling her the whole story now, I knew it was not something she should have to read in a letter.” The pain was painting anguished lines on Archie’s features.

“A wise and caring decision on your part, not to write it,” Kit said gently. “ It will be hard enough for her to hear the story directly from you, but at least you will be there to comfort her, and she will be there to comfort you.

“If she can even look at me after I tell her, she may be disgusted and repulsed by me after hearing it. She most probably hates me anyway, after the way I treated her.” Archie was doing his best to remain composed, but he was clearly reaching the breaking poin

Horatio reached over and placed a comforting hand on his best friend’s shoulder. His brown eyes met Archie’s blue ones and silently said volumes to him.

Archie continued haltingly, “ I still love her, I always will. To see disgust in those lovely eyes will break my heart and soul. If only I knew that she could forgive and not hate me forever, I could go on with my life, even without her. That brings up the other terrible choice I may be forced to make. If Katy takes me back into her life,” he glanced lovingly at Horatio, “ It will cause me to break my other love’s heart.”

“Archie,” Horatio said firmly, “I told you I would not for all the world stand in the way of your future happiness. You deserve a chance at true happiness with a wife and family.

With a twinkle in his eye, Kit Edrington spoke. “ I think you will be needing the advice of an expert in such matters. There is just such at expert near at hand, she sleeps peacefully as we speak in the room above us. Margaret was the very person who convinced ME that I did not have to give up one type of happiness to have the other. I think we can delay our return home for an extra day. We will get a room in the inn in your village, and should you need the Master, you can talk with her after seeing Katy. It’s not a guarantee, but at least it is something.

Archie smiled at his friend. How unlike the person he first thought him to be, he truly was. Muzillac had been a dark cloud, but the resulting friendship with his lordship was certainly the silver lining.

Part 8.

 

While on one hand giving his two friends a ray of hope for the future, Lord Edrington reminded them that this might very well be their last night as lovers, the future of that state of being belonging solely to Katy Whitfield. He bid them a good evening and with a wink was off to join his Lady.

Archie and Horatio, feeling exhaustion from the long day as well as a slight intoxication from the brandy they had shared with Kit, made their way upstairs to their room. Once in the room, it became evident to Horatio that Archie was beginning to crack under the strain of it all.

Archie stood in front of the crackling fire, seemingly lost in another world. Horatio walked up behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around his love. He wanted to hold him close and make the pain go away, but that was not to be. Archie pulled from his embrace and turned to face his lover. He had tears streaming down his face.

“Horatio, I can’t do this, I can’t face her. I can’t lose you. Oh God, would that I had died in that Spanish hole, not to have to face tomorrow. I thought I could be brave, but I can’t. I’ll never be half the man you are, why would Katy even consider taking me back? She can have any man she wants, why should I even think she would want ‘Jack’s little Whore’?”

Horatio’s heart was breaking to see his friend and lover sliding into this state again. He thought Archie had overcome most of his demons, and now, just when he needed all of his reserves, the ghost of Jack Simpson again haunted Archie.

“Archie, STOP IT!!” Horatio was nearly shouting, “ Don’t do this to yourself. You are NOT Jack’s Little Whore. I NEVER want to hear you call yourself that again. Do you hear me?? You are Lieutenant Archie Kennedy of His Majesty’s Frigate, Indefatigable. You are one of the bravest and strongest men I have ever known, and I will not hear you belittle yourself, is that understood?”

Archie buried his face in his lover’s chest, sobbing. Horatio wrapped his arms tightly around the young man he loved so dearly. Yes, this might be their last night together. He wanted it to be a night to remember, but he knew that in Archie’s present state, Archie had to call all the shots. He would take it one small step at a time, and treasure each moment as if it were their last together.

After a few minutes of Archie quaking in his arms, Horatio gently asked, “ Archie, what can I do to help? I’m here and I will be whatever you want me to be. Shoulder, pillow, friend, lover, you need but ask and I will be that which you wish me to me.”

Archie looked up from the very soggy front of Horatio’s uniform coat into his love’s deep brown eyes. He could not believe how fortunate he was to have a friend like Horatio. They had been through hell together, and on more than one occasion. The Justinian, Simpson, the Spanish Prison, Muzillac, but they went through all of that together. Now here with this, they might very well be parted forever as lovers tomorrow, but all Horatio could think of were Archie’s feelings and wants. Archie wondered why God had seen fit to give him such a wonderful friend. In the back of his mind something quietly spoke to him saying, “ because you are something special Archie Kennedy, something very special indeed.” He had to pull himself together, for Horatio. Archie Kennedy was not the only one in pain this night. The pain of parting was clearly evident in Horatio’s eyes.

He pulled away from Horatio’s arms and made his way toward the bed. Yes, this might be their last night together; he owed it to his friend to make it a memorable one. That would be his gift to Horatio

“Will you join me Horatio?” Archie asked, with a bit of a twinkle returning to the tearfully red eye

“Is that what you want love?” Horatio hoped the answer would be a resounding yes, and not a meek one answered solely for his benefit

“ More than anything else in the world, Mr. Hornblower. If this is to be our last night, let us make it one neither one of us will ever forget. Yes, Horatio, it is what I want. Please, I want you to love me and I want you to let me love you. I can promise you one thing, in my heart, I will always love you. You can take that with you to your grave. I want to spend this last night showing you how much.

Horatio joined Archie on the bed.  It would be a night to remember.

Part 9  

  The rays of the morning sun found the two young lovers still tightly entwined in each other’s arms and legs. It had indeed been a night to remember for both of them. A knock on the door brought them both to the reality that they must untangle themselves and get on with the coming events of the day.

Lord Edrington, with his usual foresight, had ordered a hot bath to be sent to the room. He was certain, and rightly so, that the young gentlemen would be in need of it. Archie and Horatio hurriedly exited their tangled state and grabbed for their pants.  A large tub and many buckets of steaming water were brought into the room. While they wanted to linger in the steaming water and continue what had begun the night before, both young lieutenants knew they had to face the future, and they had to begin now.

After bathing and dressing, Archie and Horatio made their way downstairs to the dining room to join the Edringtons.

“I trust you gentlemen had a good night’s sleep.” his lordship gave them a wink as they sat down to breakfast.

“Uh, Yes, quite a wonderful night’s sleep my lord.” Horatio’s blush gave away the truth.

Lady Edrington covered her mouth with her napkin to hide her smile. She really did not want to embarrass the young man, but she knew exactly what went on in that room. She was secretly very pleased that the two young officers had had the chance for a night together. Her husband had filled her in on what was to come. With her womanly intuition she judged it would be a most difficult road ahead for all three of the young people involved in this “triangle”. She said a silent prayer that this Katy Whitfield would be a very “special” young lady. Lord Edrington was not the only one with a special place in his heart for Archie Kennedy. Lady Edrington quite liked the young man herself. Since their first meeting, Margaret Edrington found herself wanting to be substitute mother to the often-tortured soul of the handsome young blond.

Breakfast eaten, the party continued on their journey.  Lord Edrington asked Archie if he wished to go directly to the Whitfield estate or if he wanted to visit his parents’ home first. Archie was torn between seeing his mother and seeing Katy.  Seeing his mother also most certainly meant an encounter with LORD Kennedy himself, and Archie decided he had rather face the demons from hell than his father. So the matter was settled, the coach would stop at the Whitfield’s first. A musket ball from Katy might handily resolve the whole problem of seeing his father.

As they neared the Whitfield estate, Archie began to tell Horatio what to expect. William Whitfield had warned them about his mother and Archie felt it only proper that Horatio should be prepared for the daft older lady.  Her mind had been going for quite a few years; it just had never quite gone all the way. Her eyesight was bad and more often than not guests were mistaken for others. “ Just nod and agree” had always been the way to go with her. It often made for many laughs after a visit when Archie was a lad.

Horatio was relieved to see a bit of humor in Archie’s tone. At least the depression of last night was subsiding. A night of passion had helped to erase most of it.

The coach turned into the tree-lined drive. An immense house appeared before them. Horatio could see the tension building in Archie’s face. He reached over and placed a gentle hand on Archie’s.

“It will be fine, Archie. Remember, no matter what, I’m here for you.”

Lord and Lady Edrington echoed the statement, with Lady Margaret adding, “Archie, if you need to talk, or if Katy needs someone, please call on me. I know what she has ahead of her. If she wishes to hear from someone with experience in these matters, I will be happy to speak with her. Take care Archie, and be gentle with her.

Archie thanked them all as the coach pulled to a stop in front of the house

The two Lieutenants climbed down from the coach and walked to the door. Archie knocked and a young maid opened the door. 

“ Is Miss Whitfield at home,” Archie asked nervously. “ I’m Archie Kennedy, an old friend of hers. I wish to express my condolences on the death of Captain Whitfield.”

The maid replied that Miss Katherine was in the garden, if they would wait in the parlor, she would get her mistress. The five minutes of waiting seemed an eternity to Archie, then Katy appeared in the doorway.

Archie gasped as the vision before him. She had been beautiful as a girl, but the young woman before him was exquisite.  A few inches shorter than Archie, Katy had golden blond curls, worn loose around her shoulders, and soft sea green eyes. She was wearing a pale blue dress.

Horatio was in awe of the young lady’s beauty. He could clearly understand Archie’s desperate acts to protect her

“Archie!” Katy shouted as she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him full on the lips.  Archie wasn’t sure how to take this welcome. He had just begun to wrap his arms around Katy to return the gesture when she backed away and with all her might, slapped hell out of his face!

“That is for four years of Hell, Archie Kennedy. You had better have a damn good explanation of why you abandoned me, you son of a bitch.”

Horatio couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing from the lovely vision in front of him

Archie stood there in shock. Yes, he had expected anger from Katy, but the kiss had caused him to let down his guard. His face stung where she struck him.

“Katy, I, I, can explain, and will explain if you just give me the chance.” Archie looked around for Horatio.

Katy, suddenly realizing that they were not alone, blushed and began to make apologies to the unidentified young man with Archie.

“Miss Whitfield, I would like to present Lieutenant Hornblower.” Archie tried to be formal, but he couldn’t continue with the formalities in light of what had just occurred. “Horatio is my best friend and I wanted him to meet you,” with more than a little embarrassment on his face

“This is indeed a pleasure, Miss Whitfield. Archie told me how lovely you were and what a fiery spirit you possessed, but I must say he didn’t do you justice in either respect!

“Lieutenant Hornblower, you must forgive my outburst. I am not generally so abrupt, my father and grandmother tried very hard to raise a proper young lady. Alas, I’m afraid a life around sailors has rubbed off a bit of the polish. Please do forgive me. I am sure Archie has explained to you that we have some things to work out between us.

“Yes Ma’am, he has.” Before Horatio could add anything else to his statement a tiny, gray haired lady came into the room

Katy walked over to her grandmother and directed her to where Archie and Horatio stood. Archie hoped the handprint on his face was not too obvious, and then he remembered Grandmother Whitfield’s terrible eyesight, even years ago.

“Gram, you remember Archie Kennedy, don’t you? He’s come back to pay us a visit. He has brought along another officer from his ship. This is Lieutenant Hornblower. Lieutenant Hornblower, this is my grandmother.

Archie and Horatio both gave a bow to the lady

“Archie,” Grandmother Whitfield began. “You have been gone from here far too long. Have you gotten a ship of your own yet?  You should have one by now! What’s taking you so long

Katy tried to explain to her grandmother that this was Archie, little Archie Kennedy. He wasn’t old enough to have a ship yet, but it was clear that Grandmother Whitfield was seeing someone else.  Katy was used to that, she just hoped that Archie and Horatio could bear with the daftness. She wanted desperately to be alone with Archie but she did not want to appear rude to his friend. She wanted to hear his explanation before she murdered him. Well, she didn’t really plan to murder him, but the thought had crossed her mind a few times during the intervening years

Horatio seemed to understand the look on Katy’s face and asked if her grandmother might be up to showing him around the lovely garden

“What a wonderful idea, Mr. Hornblower. Gram just loves to show off her gardens. And you must get her to tell you the story of the flagpole. It was the main mast on my Grandfather’s ship.

Katy walked over and whispered something in her grandmother’s ear. It made her grandmother’s face light up. Then she walked back to Horatio, “ Please forgive Gram if she gets a little off track. She loves men in naval uniforms, but unfortunately her mind and eyesight tend to play tricks on her. While she has been introduced to you, she may not remember your name. Just go along with whatever she calls you. She is quite harmless and quite entertaining in her own way.

“I will endeavor to remember that.” Deep down, Horatio wanted to remain at his friend’s side, but he knew Archie had to fight this battle on his own. He walked over to Grandmother Whitfield and extended his arm to escort her to the garden

 Katy turned back to face Archie. “This had better be good, Lieutenant Kennedy, it had better be damn good.”

Part 10. 

  Archie did not know where to begin. He was finally alone with Katy. Was he really as big a coward as he know felt himself to be? He told himself he could do this, now he had to find his nerve and tell Katy the truth, but not here, not where servants might hear his words. This was for Katy’s ears alone.

“Katy, would you mind if we took a walk? What I have to say is not easy, and most of it is pretty terrible. I don’t want to take the risk of the servants overhearing us. Please, grant me this one request. I think you will understand when you hear what I have to tell you.

“As long as you do not try to make a run for it Lieutenant. From what I have heard through the naval grapevine, you have been known to try to escape confinement. You are not getting away from me until I hear the truth, the whole truth, no matter how terrible you might think it to be.

It was becoming obvious to Archie that Katy had been keeping up with his life, even though she had not been a part of it. He was not sure what to make of that information

Katy led Archie out to the orchard. An arbor with a wooden bench overlooked a small pond.

“Will this do, Archie?” Katy asked softly. She sounded much more like the Katy that Archie courted than the Tigress from a short while earlier.

“Katy, I don’t know how to begin. I owe you more than a simple apology, so much more. I can’t believe your father still wanted me to have his compass and charts after the way I treated you. But you have to know, if I had thought there was any other way, I would never have abandoned you. Oh God, that sounds horrible.” Tears were welling in Archie’s eyes. How was he going to tell Katy about Jack?

“When I returned to the Justinian,” Archie paused, his heart breaking at the thought of what he must say, “after making love to you.” There, he had said it. “Our future was filled with the brightest of hopes and dreams. I had the wonderful memory of holding you in my arms and loving you. I should have been over the moon. Instead, I worried myself nearly sick that I might have left you with a child, that your father would come looking for me, that you would be shamed forever for my actions. Your letters were keeping me sane. Oh Katy, I loved you more than life itself. I couldn’t bear the thought that I might have hurt you. If I were killed in battle, I had taken your honour and given you nothing in return.”

Katy could see the pain in his eyes, but he still had not explained WHY he stopped writing. “So you just decided to abandon me rather than face those possibilities? Come now Archie, you really don’t expect me to believe that do you?”

“No Katy, I didn’t decide to abandon you rather than face any of that. You have to believe me when I say I did not want to stop writing. I had to, to protect you.”

“To protect me? Protect me from what?” she asked almost in disbelief.

“Katy, there was someone on the ship, someone terrible, a monster. He was an older midshipman and he preyed on the younger midshipmen. His name was Jack Simpson. He tormented everyone, using whatever he could find in their past to make them do things. He found your letters.”

Katy wasn’t sure how this Simpson finding her letters could have been a problem. They were just letters from home. Then she realized what Archie had said about worrying about shaming her. She began to understand, at least a bit.

“Archie, I don’t see why that would cause you to stop writing. Why didn’t you just tell me about this Simpson fellow?”

“Tell you about Jack Simpson? Katy, I’m having a hard time telling you about him now, how could I have told you in a letter? You don’t understand what he did to people.” Archie summoned up his remaining reserves and reached for Katy’s hand.

“What I’m about to tell you must be kept between us. Please, if you ever loved me, promise me that one thing. If you hate me when I am done, I will walk away from here never to return, never to trouble you again.”

Katy’s heart went out to Archie, she wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she was determined to be strong in this, and make Archie pay for the four years of pain she had endured. She was going to hear the whole story, no matter how painful. She pulled her hand from Archie’s.

“Very well, I promise. Please continue. I will decide about hating you when I have heard it all.”  Katy knew she could never hate Archie, but she did not know if she could bear having him back in her life with always the possibility of losing him in battle. She had been building a wall around her heart now for four years. Archie would have to storm her defenses and breach that wall for her let him back into her life.

Archie took a deep breath, fought back the coming tears and began to tell the story of Jack Simpson. He told Katy of the threats, the beatings, and finally with all the strength he had left in his soul, about being raped.

part 11

 

Archie sat with his head in his hands. He bared his soul to Katy. All the shame of what Jack had done to him and forced him to do came pouring out with his tears. He told her all of the terrible things Jack said he would tell Captain Whitfield. He told her his deepest fear for her, that she would be cast out of her family. How deep in his heart he knew the real truth, but Jack twisted everything. Jack used his fears to torture him. Archie told her of what he had been forced to endure. He told her of being beaten nearly to death and how when that did not give Jack what he wanted, he did worse. He told her all the brutal details of his rape. How Jack left him battered and bleeding with no one to turn to lest he be branded forever for what ‘he’ had done. He told Katy how Jack reminded him that he would forever be ‘Jack’s Little Whore’. Calling himself that in front of Katy cut him deeply, but she had to know everything, no matter how sickening the details might be to her.  He went on to tell her about Jack’s threats to find her. And how abandoning her was the only way he could see to save her from Jack. He wanted her to understand that he did it out love. If she could only understand that and forgive him, he could make peace with his own soul.

"Don’t you see Katy, I didn’t know what else to do. I was lost. Then Horatio came on board, and Jack had someone else to torment for a while. War was declared and we were transferred. Jack was not. I wanted to write, but between Jack’s words echoing in my head, that you would never want me again, and the fact that I might be dead within weeks, I thought it best just to continue my silence. Through a cruel twist of fate, Jack wound up on the Indy. The Devil had returned to torment me. When I was captured and alone in prison for so long, I tried to starve myself to death, just to finish it. I could not bear the thought of going back to that again. Horatio saved me when he found me. He gave me back my will to live, but I couldn’t bring myself to write to you. I was a coward and wanted to avoid reopening the wounds in my soul. Anyway, I figured you had probably given up on me and found someone else.”

“Archie,” Katy said softly, “Can you ever forgive ME?”

Archie looked up to see tears filling Katy’s soft sea green eyes. “Forgive you? You don’t need forgiving. You have every right to hate me, to be repulsed by me.”

"Archie,” Katy said softly, “I’m not repulsed by you. What that beast did to you was not your fault and the fact that you endured it to protect me, makes me feel lower than a snail for even trying to hate you. Yes, I have spent the last four years doing my best to hate you. Papa tried to tell me that there had to be a very good reason for you to stop writing, but I wouldn’t listen. He continued to have faith in you even when mine faltered. A small part of me wanted to believe him, but a bigger part of me wanted desperately to hate you. The part of me that wanted to hate you tried to make you like your father. It made me think that maybe because I took you into my bed, you did not think me worthy of being your wife. I thought you were repulsed by my behavior. For God’s sake, Archie, you ARE the son of a Lord. I’m only a navy captain’s daughter.”  

Archie’s heart was breaking again, but for a different reason this time. Lord Edward Kennedy could hurt his son without even trying.

“Oh Katy, how can you look at me? I’m not worth your trouble. You have every right to hate me. You should have picked up and gone on with your life.” Archie turned away to hide the tears that were again rolling down his cheeks.

Katy moved over closer to Archie and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. “You are my life Archie Kennedy, I should never have doubted you.”

With her words he turned back to face her. As their eyes met, Katy leaned forward and kissed his trembling lips. This was her Archie, the man she dreamed of spending her life with and he had been returned to her.

Archie held Katy tightly to his chest; afraid to let go for fear she would vanish into a dream. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks.  

Part 12

As Archie sat holding Katy, he felt he had climbed out of the depths of hell and reached the gates of heaven. But there was still one more hurdle to cross before he could pass through those gates.  Horatio. Oh God, Horatio. He had forgotten about Horatio and Grandmother Whitfield.

Just then Katy heard her grandmother calling loudly for the cook. She and Archie decided they had best check on poor Horatio. There was no telling what Grandmother Whitfield had done to him.

Katy headed for the kitchen where she heard her grandmother’s carrying on and Archie headed for the garden where Horatio was supposed to be. As he rounded the side of the house and entered the garden, he saw Horatio sitting on a bench, safe and sound, but with a very exasperated look on his face. Horatio jumped up and ran to meet him.

"Archie,” Horatio said almost pleading, “ you have got to save me from Mrs. Whitfield. She has decided that I’m HORATIO NELSON. She has spent the last two hours scolding me for leaving my lovely wife and taking up with that ‘tart’ Emma Hamilton. You both told me just to go along with anything she said, but this is ridiculous. SAVE ME!”

Archie couldn’t help but laugh. Here was Lieutenant ‘TAKE CHARGE’ Hornblower totally losing control because of a daft old lady. It was just too priceless for words.

“Calm down Horatio, it can’t be all that bad.” Archie tried to remain composed but the situation was just too funny. He tied covering his mouth to stifle the giggles that were overtaking his composure at a rapid rate.

“Don’t tell me it can’t be bad, you weren’t here.”  As soon as the words left his mouth, Horatio regretted saying them. He had been so exasperated by the old lady and her tirade that he had not ask Archie the outcome of his talk with Katy. Then it suddenly occurred to him that Archie was laughing at HIM. Laughing. If things had gone badly for Archie, he wouldn’t be laughing.

“Archie, are you all right? Did you tell Katy? What did she say? Where is she?”

“What is this, an examination board, Lieutenant Hornblower? Things are fine for the moment. Yes, I did tell Katy about Jack. I think she understands why I did what I did. We still have more to talk about but at least I don’t have to worry about a musket ball. At least not yet.”

Horatio could tell that that meant Archie had NOT told Katy about him. But Rome wasn’t built in day; Archie and Katy’s future together would not be solved in a single day either.

About that time, they heard Grandmother Whitfield and Katy, all the way from the kitchen.

“Maybe we had better go and check on the ladies,” Archie said as he headed for the kitchen with Horatio close behind.

In the kitchen, Grandmother Whitfield had been scolding the cook. Why wasn’t tea ready? There was an Admiral in the garden and it would be all over England what a bad hostess she was if he wasn’t served a proper tea.  Why wasn’t she told Admiral Nelson was coming to tea? When were they going to learn?

Neither Katy nor the cook could convince Grandmother Whitfield that Admiral Nelson was NOT in her garden. Both were at wit’s end with the old lady.

Archie had an idea. It might be far fetched but it just might work. He asked Horatio to go along with it, and play the part of Horatio Nelson. Horatio agreed and set about to try to calm the daft soul.

“Mrs. Whitfield,” he began, “ I thank you most kindly for the lovely tour of your garden, and for your sage advice. I will take your words to heart. Unfortunately, I have been called back to my ship and must decline your invitation to stay for tea. I hope you will forgive my sudden departure.”

Grandmother Whitfield’s face seemed to calm. It was working. Now all Katy had to do was get her grandmother to go upstairs and rest. Archie helped her to guide the very tired old lady to her room.

The cook and Horatio both breathed a sigh of relief and burst out laughing. Horatio knew in his heart that Archie was going call him ‘Admiral’ for a very long time to come.

Part 13.

When Katy and Archie returned to the kitchen, they found Horatio and the cook both much calmer than when they last saw them. Katy was thankful for Cook’s patience with her grandmother, and Archie couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty for laughing at Horatio’s plight. He was most grateful to his friend for entertaining Mrs. Whitfield long enough for he and Katy to talk alone 

Katy apologized to Horatio for her grandmother’s actions. She knew her grandmother often mistook people for others but she never expected her to mistake this young man for the famous Admiral Nelson.

The three young people went back to the garden as Cook prepared tea. Horatio was more than relieved to have Katy and Archie instead of Mrs. Whitfield. It had been a very long two hours with her. He could only imagine how long those two hours had seemed to Archie.

Katy was beaming. Horatio caught himself staring on more than on occasion. It gladdened his heart to see the light in Archie’s eyes when he looked at Katy. He had not seen so much joy in those blue eyes in a long time. He knew this was what Archie needed in his life to repair all the damage that had been done to his soul. He knew in his heart, no matter how painful, that he needed to stand aside and let Katy have Archie.

“Horatio?”  Archie’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Are you all right? You seem to be somewhere else.”

“I’m fine, Archie. I was just thinking of how fate has worked a miracle. A year ago, you just wanted to die and now look at you. I don’t think I have ever seen you look so happy.

I must thank Miss Whitfield for the marked improvement in your looks.” He smiled at Katy. Archie was indeed a lucky man, a very lucky man.

Katy was glad that Archie had such a wonderful friend. In his confessions to her, Archie had told her how Horatio had saved his life. How when he was at his lowest, Horatio pulled him up by his bootstraps and made him keep going. She could tell, by the gestures and looks between the two, that it was a very special friendship, one that Archie treasured. For a brief moment, she had the feeling of being an intruder.

Katy asked Archie if he planned to see his parents while he was this close to their home. He told her he wanted to see his mother but was not sure his father would want to see him. It pained Katy to see him hurting. She hated Lord Kennedy. He had never been a real father to Archie. Her own father had been more of a father to Archie than Lord Kennedy could ever hope to be. Archie’s mother was a wonderful woman and had always made her feel welcome. Lord Kennedy had always reminded her of HIS title and her place in the world. She was never good enough for a Kennedy, but then Archie was never good enough for his father, so maybe that is why she and Archie had always been so good for each other.

Katy decided to try to help Archie see his mother without him having to see his father. She knew that Lady Kennedy would understand. She would probably appreciate the chance to be with Archie without having to see him hurt.

“Archie,” she began, “ Can you stay in the village for a few days or must you leave immediately? I would love to invite your mother over for tea. I would not mention to her that you are here and you could surprise her. It would give us all a chance to talk. Of course, Mr. Hornblower, you would also be invited.”

“We have a week’s leave from the Indy. It would be nice to see Mama without having to face the old man.” Archie was relieved that another option for seeing his mother had presented itself. “Would I be imposing to ask for two other guests?”

“Of course not Archie, if you want others that is fine with me, I just thought you might want time alone with your mother.” Katy was not sure who these other guests might be but she could not refuse Archie.

“Yes, I want time with Mama, but these are the dear friends who took time from their own journey to deliver us here to you. I really want you to meet them, and I want Mama to meet them as well. They are very special people, The Earl and Countess of Edrington. Phillip, or Kit as we call him, and his Lady Margaret.”

“Edrington?” Katy said with a puzzled look. “ That name sounds vaguely familiar to me. Would he by chance be an army officer?”

“Yes, he is. He is recently promoted Colonel. His regiment was part of the disastrous mission to Muzillac, but he bears no blame in the disaster. He was as out of place there as we were. The one good thing of the whole mission was the friendship that has come from it with the Edringtons. Katy, I think you will love them both as much as we do.”

“That’s why the name rings a bell. I remember reading something about it when David was home. He mentioned having served with the Earl for a brief time. Yes, I would quite enjoy meeting him. David thought him a bit of a snob. I take it you two do not share that opinion?” Katy watched both young men for their reactions.

Archie was first to speak. “It takes getting past his Lordship’s stuffy façade. But underneath is a very nice chap.”

“Then I look forward to meeting him and his lady as well. I will write to them extending the invitation, if one of you would be so kind as to act as courier when you return to the inn.”

COURIER, the word slammed into Archie’s consciousness. He had a letter for Katy from the Captain that he had totally forgotten to deliver. He reached in his coat, retrieved the letter, and handed it to Katy.

Katy read the letter, occasionally glancing up at Archie, who had no idea what the captain had written. He figured it to be a typical letter of condolence. When she finished reading, Katy walked over to Archie and gave him a hug.

“Archie, your Captain Pellew must be a wonderful man.” Tears welling up in her eyes, Katy continued, “Expectedly, he wrote of his sadness at my father’s passing but he also wrote commending you to me. This letter is more about YOU than about my father.  It seems by his lengthy words on your behalf, that he thinks VERY highly of you Lieutenant Kennedy, very highly indeed.”

Archie did not know what to say. He just stood there baffled by what he was hearing. Why would the captain write about him?

Horatio took the opportunity to add a compliment about his dearest friend.

“ Miss Whitfield, EVERYONE on the Indefatigable thinks highly of Mr. Kennedy. We are all very honoured to serve with him again.”

“Enough of this, please!” Archie was becoming quite embarrassed by all the praise.

“Yes, it is probably best we stop,” laughed Horatio. “We would not want Mr. Kennedy to have to purchase a bigger hat for his swelling head. I’m not sure he could afford ANOTHER one these days. It seems to me he might have a future to be planning.”

Archie took a playful swat at Horatio’s arm. Katy laughed at the two handsome young men.

“Now boys, I have plans to make for tomorrow and invitations to write. I can’t be saving you from each other.”  All seemed to be well with the world to Katy. It was as she had always hoped it would be. At least for the moment it was.

part 14

 

Katy invited Archie and Horatio to join her in the Library while she wrote out the invitations to tea. They would be delivered by one of the staff that very afternoon. She hoped Archie’s mother would be able to come and she looked forward to the happy surprise for Lady Kennedy. She eagerly anticipated meeting the Earl and Countess of Edrington. If all went as planned it would be a lovely afternoon.

As evening approached, the three young people again walked in the garden. It was a lovely time of day.  Horatio enjoyed watching Archie and Katy. It pained him to think of losing Archie, but it also made him very happy to see his friend so obviously in love with the young lady. They laughed and held hands as though nothing had ever parted them.

Katy turned to Archie and asked he and Horatio would stay for dinner. She promised Horatio that he would not have to face Grandmother Whitfield again, as she always took her evening meal in her room. Then she asked about their accommodations at the inn.

“Archie,” Katy began, “ if you stay at the inn in the village, your father will surely find out you are here. We have plenty of room here, why don’t you both stay here this evening?”

Archie looked at Katy with more than a bit of a questioning look. “ Stay here, Katy, I don’t think we should. What would your staff say? I will not risk your reputation just to avoid my father.”

“ I don’t mean stay in the house with ME,” she gave him a smile. “ I mean you two can stay in the gatehouse. When Papa retired he did a bit of work on it. It became his private domain. He used it when he needed to escape Gram, and when he had his Navy friends here. I think you will quite enjoy it, if you don’t mind the feeling of being back aboard a ship! Come on, I’ll show you. If you decide to stay, my coachman can take Horatio to the inn to retrieve your baggage.”

Katy led them outside and down the long path to the gatehouse.

She was right about it seeming as they were on a ship. Captain Whitfield had totally reconstructed the interior of the stone gatehouse to resemble the Captain’s cabins on a ship of the line. No detail had been ignored. It was an exact replica. Well, almost an exact replica. The BED was a bit LARGER that would normally be found in a Captain’s cabin.

Archie was dying to comment on the bed, but propriety told him to keep his comments to himself for the moment. There would be time for making them to Horatio after Katy had retired for the evening.

“Katy, this is quite a nice piece of architecture. If you don’t feel uncomfortable with us being here, and in your father’s private world, we will stay here. Horatio, do you mind going alone to the Inn to get our baggage? Katy is quite right about word getting back to my old man.”

“Not at all,” was Horatio’s response to Archie.  “I will speak with Lord Edrington and let him know of our plans. We wouldn’t want him to think Katy has taken her revenge on BOTH of us!” He gave Katy a smile, which she happily returned.

Katy leaned over to him, kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear. “I’ll take very good care of him while you are gone.”

It was decided that Horatio should go to the village immediately, in order to return in time for dinner. Katy’s coachman, happy to see his young mistress again with a smile, quickly hitched the horses and brought the coach around to collect his passenger

As Horatio prepared to leave, he pulled Archie off to the side.

“I trust you will be a gentleman, while I’m gone.” He said with a sly grin.

“You need not worry, Lieutenant Hornblower,” Archie said returning the grin and leading Horatio to the coach door. “ I plan on being the PERFECT Gentleman. Now, GET OUT OF HERE!!” He mockingly shoved Horatio into the coach.

Katy and Archie waved as Horatio departed, then Archie took Katy by the hand and led her back to the garden. He led her to a bench under a rose covered trellis.

“Katy, a very long time ago, your father said we could consider ourselves promised to each other. Do you remember that?”

“Of course, I remember that.” Katy said in mocked exasperation.

“Do you still wish to consider yourself promised to me?”

“Archie, I, I…….” Katy paused.  Archie’s heart stopped for a moment. “Even though I tried to hate you, I never stopped considering myself promised to you.”

Relief flooded Archie’s soul. Now if he could just muster up the courage for the next challenge.

“Do you remember your father’s requirements for being anything more official than ‘promised’?”

Katy knew what Archie was leading to, and she almost couldn’t contain herself. “Yes, I remember, LIEUTENANT Kennedy, you had to make LIEUTENANT.”

Archie eased himself down on one knee in front of Katy.

“Since I have fulfilled your father’s requirements for asking this question, and since he is no longer with us for me to ask him, I will have to ask you.  Miss Whitfield, would you do me the HONOUR of becoming my wife?”

Katy took a deep breath. She had wanted to hear those words for most of her life but had resigned herself that she might never hear them. Her heart was pounding in her chest, tears were rapidly filling her eyes. She wanted to SHOUT out her answer for the world to hear.

“Yes, Lieutenant Kennedy, YES!!! I would be HONOURED to become your wife!!!”

  Part 15.

 

The happy Lieutenant Kennedy and his equally joyous Katy spent the remainder of their time alone sharing passionate kisses and talking of the future. It took all of both his and her self-control not to take the kisses further. It had been a long time since their “pledge of love”. The fires burned within Katy to hold Archie, to take Archie inside her once again.  Those same fires raged nearly out of control in Archie, his body clearly displaying the results for Katy to notice.

Both did their best to regain their composure when they heard the coach coming down the drive. Katy excitedly began chattering about announcing the news to Horatio. Archie put one finger to her lips to quiet her.

“Katy,” he said with a touch of sadness in his eyes, “ Please don’t say anything to Horatio. Not yet.”

That feeling of being an intruder again flooded Katy’s mind.

 “ But why not Archie? Don’t you want your best friend to know the happy news? I think he will be thrilled!”

“Yes, he will be thrilled.” Archie said the words to Katy, but in his mind, he knew Horatio was not going to be thrilled, but hurt. “It’s just that this has all happened so suddenly. I fully expected to leave here with a musket ball in my gut. I never dreamed it would all work out this way. I think I owe it to Horatio to break the news to him myself, alone. He and I have been through so much together. He is my best friend. To suddenly throw this at him, when he least expects it……It just seems cruel. No matter how happy the news."

Katy could not understand the reasoning, but she knew that Archie must have a good reason for wanting to tell Horatio. Just as her father had always had faith in Archie and trusted there to be a good reason for his “abandonment” of Katy, she would put her faith in Archie about this. No matter how badly she wanted to SHOUT the news to Horatio, she would be silent  

Horatio returned from the village. He had delivered Katy’s invitation to tea to the Edringtons and brought with him their reply. Yes, they would love to have tea with Miss Whitfield.

Dinner was served. Katy, trying hard not to burst from happiness, was a lovely hostess. The food was superb, the wines excellent.  Archie wanted to toast Katy as his bride to be, but refrained from doing so, instead toasting to the memory of Captain and Mrs. Whitfield, the parents of the loveliest hostess in England. Horatio toasted Katy as a wonderful hostess and then toasted Archie as the best friend any man could ever have, saying he wished for a future of much happiness for both of them. It seemed quite obvious to him there would be a future together for the two of the.  

It was getting late. Katy reminded them she had much to do on the morrow to prepare for the guests. Archie and Horatio thanked Katy for the wonderful evening and after a very proper kiss on the cheek from both Archie and Horatio, Katy went up to her room and the young men walked down the path to the gatehouse.

Horatio could tell by Archie’s manner that something was amiss. His friend seemed lost in thought. It did not seem that anything had been wrong between Katy and Archie, but since nothing had been said about anything being very right either, Horatio was a bit lost to the cause.

Once inside, Horatio spoke first.

“Archie, do you want to tell me why you were so quiet walking back here or do I have to guess?”

“I did it Horatio, I really did it!”

“Did what Archie? I’m afraid you have me at a loss.”

Archie wasn’t sure how to put the words together. The words were going to cut his friend as deeply as any sword ever could; yet they were the happiest words he had ever wanted to say in his life.

“I asked Katy to marry me, and she said YES.”

Shock flooded Horatio’s face. He had expected something like this in the future, just not yet. He wasn’t ready for it. The news staggered him. He was losing Archie.

Archie could see how hard the words had hit his friend and lover. He reached out a steadying hand to Horatio’s shoulder.

“That’s wonderful news Archie, I know you will be very happy together.” Horatio choked back the tears welling in his brown eyes. “ You deserve Katy, she is wonderful. I trust I will be invited to the wedding?” Horatio tried to make light of it all, he didn’t want Archie’s joy to be marred by his own selfish feelings.

“Of course you fool, you have to be my best man, and make sure I make it to the wedding. Katy will probably want me under armed guard since she says I have a reputation for escape attempts.:  

Both young men smiled at each other. They had survived so much. They both knew in their hearts they would survive this, but it looked to be the toughest battle yet.

Part 16

 

Horatio stood in front of the fireplace poking at the blazing wood. His mind was racing. He had known that someday either the navy or life would separate him from Archie. Fate had already separated them once, but fate had also reunited the lovers in the Spanish prison. But damn, did fate have to come again so soon to part them.

Archie walked up behind him and wrapped his arms about his waist.

“I am very sorry I have hurt you Horatio. Katy wanted to be the one to tell you, but I made her promise not to say anything. I wanted to tell you myself, here in private. I felt I owed you that. This doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. I still love you, I always will. You and I will be serving together for what I hope will be a long time.  You are looking at the most selfish man alive. That man does not want to give you up. I know that sounds terrible of me, but I cannot help it. I should have told her about us BEFORE I asked her to marry me. That would have been the kindest way, but I was not thinking clearly. All I could think of was that I loved her and wanted her, forever, in my heart, my soul, my life, and my bed. But now, Horatio, I know I want all those things with you also.” Tears stained Archie’s handsome cheeks as he cling tightly to Horatio.

Archie continued his confession to Horatio, “ It was tearing me apart all though dinner. She looked so happy and so at peace. Then I would look across the table at you….and ….Oh God, Horatio……..I don’t know what to do.”

Horatio gently kissed his love’s cheek.

“Archie, I don’t want to lose you either, but this is your chance at REAL happiness. Stolen moments in dark places in the belly of a ship can never give you the real joy that Katy and a family will. Please don’t give that happiness up for me.” He paused and took a deep breath. Trying hard not to let Archie see the pain behind his words he continued,

“I love you too much to watch you throw away a life with Katy. I can not tell you what to do, but I swear to you, I will request a transfer for myself away from the Indy before I will see you lose her to try to keep me.”

“Don’t say that Horatio, please don’t say that.” Archie begged, desperation in his voice.

“I know you, and I know you would keep that oath no matter how badly it hurt you, but I cannot start this marriage with ANY secrets. There have been too many in the past.  No matter if you and I give up being lovers or continue, I have to tell her. If I am destined to her heart, I had rather break it now and let her go. It has to be this way.”

A thought crossed Horatio’s mind, and he knew all was not yet lost. There was still hope. It might only be a chance, but it was an EVEN CHANCE.  Lady Margaret Edrington!

“Archie, before you say anything to Katy,” Horatio paused and looked into Archie’s tear filled blue eyes, “ Please talk with Lady Margaret. She has faced and conquered what Katy will be facing. Maybe, just maybe, she can offer you guidance in how to tell Katy WITHOUT breaking her heart. If anyone can, Lady Margaret Edrington can. Remember, Kit calls her THE MASTER!”

Archie looked up at Horatio and kissed him.

“Again Lieutenant Hornblower, You have come to my rescue with your wisdom. I will wait to talk to Katy about us, until I have spoken with Lady Margaret. I have nothing to lose by waiting, and EVERYTHING to gain.”

“Now sir,” Archie’s face brightened a bit. “Before I face tomorrow and my possible executioner, if Katy is not of an understanding nature in such matters; would you grant a condemned man’s last request?”

“Anything,” Horatio said with a smile.

“Let me make love to you one last time …….”

“Archie,” Horatio spoke softly trying to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes. “You once said you could not refuse Katy, and I cannot refuse you, but are you sure that here and now is a good idea. The last thing you need is for someone to find you here making love to me.”

“Horatio, no one will find out. Look at this place. Can you imagine a more perfect place for us than this, if this is indeed our last time?  Katy said the staff all stays in the main house. It’s a dark lonely walk down to this gatehouse. Only in an emergency would someone come all this way, and then I think they would be yelling as they approached. This was Captain Whitfield’s private place. The staff respected that, they probably still think of it that way. Are you afraid of being found out or is it you feel uncomfortable with US now that you have met Katy?”

The question took Horatio by surprise. He wanted to make love with Archie more than anything, but maybe it was a bit of guilt now that Katy was a very real person to him, now that Archie had asked her to marry him. He was not sure how to answer Archie.

Archie took Horatio by the hand and led him into the bedroom. He would not push Horatio, but he hoped to lead him into joining him in that big bed.  The two laughed about the size of it, and wondered OUT LOUD this time, just what the Captain had in mind when he added that to the room.  The Captain had retired shortly before Katy’s mother passed away. This had all been remodeled shortly after Mrs. Whitfield’s death.

In trying to get Horatio to relax, Archie began to explore the room. He pointed out the “treasures” of a Captain’s career spread throughout the room. He was amazed at the different authors whose books lined the bookshelf. The Captain had been an amazing man. Archie wished he could have seen Captain Whitfield and Captain Pellew together Knowing both, he could understand why they would have been good friends. He was very proud to call both of them his mentors.

As he pulled a book from the shelf, a piece of paper fell to the floor. Archie picked it up and started to return it to the book. It was just a small note and he could not help but read it.

Robert,

Please keep this book as a token of my affection. I will always treasure the memory of our times together. You and our night in your Captain’s quarters gatehouse will always be in my fondest memories.

George

Horatio was looking at Archie as he read the note. He noticed a blush on Archie’s cheeks.

“Archie, is something wrong? What is it?”

“Uh, Horatio, I think I may have just stumbled on to something. Quite possibly the answer to our question about the bed, but then it may be just seem that way because I have you on my mind.” He smiled at his friend and lover.

He handed the note to Horatio. Horatio’s serious expression lightened a bit.

“Then I must have the exact same things on my mind, because it looks like your Captain Whitfield was of the same mind. This seems to me to be a thank you note for an evening here, and the words ‘our night’ do not sound like the guest was here just for dinner.”

“Captain Whitfield. I never would have thought he…” Archie paused looking for the right words. “I never would have thought he would have a lover, He had a wonderful wife. Now this note seems to say he did, and that lover was a man. I wonder if Katy knew.” He could not think badly of the man, he himself being caught in the same situation of two loves.

“It seems that he remodeled this place not just as a retreat from his mother, but as a place to bring his lovers.” Horatio knew it was only speculation on their parts, but the man was a career navy man, and wars and separations created many bonds. One had only to look at the two young men carrying on the discussion to see one of those bonds.

Horatio looked at Archie, his mind a bit more relaxed now at the possibility of this having been a lover’s retreat.

“Maybe we should put that bed to the use for which the Captain intended it.”…He said with a sly grin.

Part 17.

 

In the main house, Katy lay in her bed trying desperately to sleep. The plans were in place for her guests. Archie’s mother had declined her invitation and included a note that while she would truly enjoy the opportunity to visit, she was departing early in the morning with Lord Kennedy to the Scottish estate. Katy now deeply regretted not telling Lady Kennedy of Archie’s presence. But at least all could relax that there would be NO unpleasant encounter between Archie and his father on this visit.

Thoughts of Archie, thoughts of the afternoon, thoughts of all that Archie had confided to Katy, thoughts of what he must have suffered at that monster’s hand, it was all so overwhelming to Katy. Poor Archie, what he endured, and for her, all to protect her. She felt truly blessed to have the love of such a man. How could she have even tried to hate him? She knew she could never, ever hate Archie Kennedy. Nothing would ever change that. Now, she was going to be his wife. After all the years of dreaming, it was really going to happen. No more chaste kisses goodnight, he would be hers, all hers. Her thoughts returned to that one time in the past when Archie had truly been HERS.

Archie had been home on leave and was due to return to Justinian. It was the day before he was to leave, and Katy could barely stand the thought of losing him again to the Navy. She knew in her mind, this was the life she would lead with a husband in the navy. She would always be saying goodbye. She had seen it with her father and mother. What they had together had been something special; her mother hated seeing her father leave, but always seemed at peace with it. Katy had wondered if she would ever know that peace.  Just before her mother passed away, she had shared her secret with Katy. There was always a night of passion before the parting on the morrow. She wanted Katy to remember that if indeed she did marry Archie and the navy.  Katy wanted to feel that same peace. She desperately wanted to share that passion with Archie. She would find a way.

She planned her quest. As it was, her family still thought of the two not quite 16 year olds as childhood friends, they had not yet recognized the blossoming of love between the two. They often took long walks around the estate unchaperoned. Katy knew that would soon change as Archie planned to ask Papa for her hand BEFORE he left again. She had one chance before Archie’s departure to have that passion her mother spoke of, she was determined to have something to hold on to. She just had to convince Archie with all of his honourable intentions that it was what he also wanted.

Katy packed a small picnic and when Archie arrived she asked him if he would like to take a walk and share the picnic with her. He was more that happy to agree, it would be a perfect afternoon. He suggested down by the garden pond, but Katy said no, she had a better place. It was something she had wanted to show him for a long time. Archie had never been able to resist Katy’s charms and this time was no different. Down a winding path through the woods they went. They had never taken this path before, Archie was curious as to where it was leading. Just as it seemed the woods would never provide the perfect picnic spot, the trees parted and gave way to a small clearing with a tiny cottage.  It was almost a fairly tale cottage. Archie was surprised that Katy had never shown it to him in the past.

“Archie, this is one of my favorite places now. Don’t you just love it?” Katy asked with glee.

“It is lovely, Katy, what is it and why have you never brought me here before now?”

“It was a caretaker’s cottage. Before, there was always someone living in it, so I never came here. Now it’s empty and I come here to sit and dream about the future. Come, let me show you inside.” She grabbed Archie’s hand and pulled him into the tiny cottage.

Her plans were falling into place.

Inside the cottage were two rooms. Katy had been slowly working on making it nice again. She enjoyed the solitude and often went there and just sat imagining it was her home, the home she would one day share with Archie.

She spread out their picnic on the small table in the main room. Her heart was pounding; she was not sure how to begin. She only hoped Archie would feel the same way, and not turn away from her. In her young mind, it was worth all the risks, seen and unseen, to take Archie to her bed ONE time

They ate their food and laughingly chatted about what could be done with such a house by just the right two people. They talked of the future, and what Archie was going to say to Captain Whitfield that evening.  All the hopes and dreams came pouring out of both of them. Then, Katy decided it was time to make her move

She stood up and took Archie by the hand. She gently led him into the bedroom. In her cleaning and doing around the little house, Katy had brought bedding from the main house, so at least there would be a place for a nap now and then when she came to daydream. Those preparations now seemed most fortuitous.

Archie could see where Katy was leading. He stopped. “Katy, what are you doing? We shouldn’t be in here.

“Archie, I love you, I always have. Please, don’t pull away from me now.” She continued to tug on his hand and sat down on the bed. She motioned him to sit next to her. “No one will see us here. Please…. Just sit next to me.”

Her pleading eyes won him over and he sat next to her on the bed.

“Archie, you will be leaving me tomorrow. It may be a very long time before you return. Please give me something to hold on to until you return. Make love to me. Please…….I need to hold you. I need to feel the warmth of your body.” She paused to watch his reactions. “ I know you must thing me wanton for such a suggestion, but I’ve never wanted something so much in my life.”

“Wanton? No, I could never think that.” Archie could not believe what he was hearing from Katy. His heart was screaming to him to say yes, his body was screaming to say yes, but his mind, and his honour were saying NO.  This was the girl he wanted to marry, he could not, would not dishonour her.

“Katy, I…..we shouldn’t,” he could not find words to complete the thought.

Katy begged him to listen to what she had to say before judging her. She told him what her mother had told her. How the night of passion was always her parent’s gift to each other and how that was what her mother clung to in the long, lonely nights when Captain Whitfield was at sea. She wanted that same gift from Archie.

“Please Archie, Love me this once.  I will have your love and warmth to hold on to until you return. And if the worst happens, and you fall in battle, I will have something to hold on to forever. Please, my dearest, give me this one last gift before you leave me.”

“Katy, I cannot dishonour you. You are my life, my hopes, and my dreams. I would not bring shame on you for anything in this world. Don’t ask me to …….” His voice trailed away as he saw the disappointment and pain in her eyes.

That look in her eyes melted his reserve. He knew what honour told him he SHOULD do, but that look was more than he could bear. Honour be damned. He could never refuse her anything.

Both of the young lovers were quite nervous. Katy had an idea of what to expect, but she hoped that Archie would take the lead and guide her. Her mother, while facing her own death, had tried to prepare Katy for life. Unlike most women of her age, Katy’s mother was not shy with matters between women and men. She did not want Katy to fear her wedding night as she had feared her own. Katy was thankful for the knowledge her mother had given her, but still a little bit frightened of the unknown. She did not fear Archie, she did not fear the pain she knew she would feel at first. She was afraid of disappointing Archie.

Archie knew what he was supposed to do. The other midshipmen had taken it upon themselves to acquaint him with a few brothels. What the other midshipmen did not know was that Archie always managed to escape acquainting himself with the ladies in those brothels. Sure he watched a few times, but he could not bear the thought of sharing a bed with any one of the ladies offered. Archie Kennedy, Midshipman in His Majesty’s Navy was still quite a virgin.

Fortunately for both of them, it did not take them long to be swept up by the tide of passion.

With hearts racing, Katy and Archie began the process of removing each other’s clothes. Nervous fingers fumbled with buttons and laces. Before long they stood before each other naked. Archie had never seen anyone so lovely. Katy blushed at seeing Archie, naked and erect. Archie gently caressed Katy’s cheek with his finger and then slowly guided her to the bed. He eased her down and lay down beside her. His hands slowly caressing her, he leaned over and kissed her lips. Hungrily she returned the kiss, parting his lips with her tongue to taste the delicious sweetness.

Archie trailed kisses down Katy’s neck and shoulders. The fires within her began to burn out of control. Archie continued his gentle explorations. As his tongue caressed her nipple Katy gasped. Archie looked up at her and smiled, his hand working it’s way ever lower. Katy wanted desperately to pull Archie to her, but as she tried, he gently resisted. His fingertips dancing over her body, barely touching her skin, Katy shivered with anticipation.

“Please Archie, love me…..Now!”

“ No love, not yet” He reached for her hand and pressed it gently to his lips.

 When he released it, Katy let it slide down his cheek to his chest. She wanted to touch Archie, to feel the firmness before her, but she hesitated. Mama had not told her everything. She did not realize that Archie would be so beautiful. He was hers and she wanted to touch all of him.

Archie could see the look of anticipation in Katy’s eyes and the uncertainty of what she should be doing. He took her hand and began to guide it over his body. It did not take Katy long to begin her own exploration of Archie. His smooth chest, the firm stomach, slowly, teasingly she ran her hands over his body.  Katy’s heart raced, her breath quickened as her hand first touched that which she so desired. No, Mama had not told her everything. But Mama had been right about the passion; it was a gift. A gift she could not wait to share with Archie.

She pleaded with Archie again. He did not say no this time, but tenderly began more caressing. Gently sliding his hand between her legs, he smiled and rolled over on top of Katy.

Ever so gently, he began to test the way. This was what Mama had told her would happen. Katy braced for the pain. As Archie gently pushed inside her, Katy felt a twinge, but nothing nearly as bad as she was anticipating. Instead, she felt a fire that warmed her heart and soul. This was as it should be. This was what her mother told her it would be with that one man with whom she would share her life.  Katy finally knew the peace that her mother knew. She only hoped her mother in heaven would understand and forgive her for finding it before marriage.

Archie knew this was what making love should be. He was very glad that it was Katy he shared this moment with, instead of someone else. He wanted to be gentle but as he neared his release, he found himself pushing harder and harder. He did not want to hurt his beloved. Katy never complained, in fact, she rose to meet his movements with just as much desire. Their passions melded them as one. When Archie climaxed, his body tensed with the sensation. It was as though lightning was shooting through every nerve. Katy not understanding completely was frightened.

“Archie, what happened? Are you all right?” she asked with fear in her voice.

“Yes, love, I am all right, more than all right. Oh God, Katy, I love you so much, with all my being…….” Archie held on as tightly as he could without squeezing the breath from the body beneath him.

***

Katy tried to hug Archie closer to her body, but he wasn’t there. It was then she realized she had been lost in a dream. She was here in her room. Archie and his friend were down in the Gatehouse. Honour be damned, again. She was going to Archie.

part 18.

 

Katy made her way down to the Gatehouse. She had to see Archie. Her dream had been all too real and she wanted Archie more than she thought possible. Honour AND Reputation be damned. Even if it meant that she had to find a Vicar in the morning, she was going to have Archie tonight.

The windows were dark, save for a candle glow in the main bedroom. Katy decided to peek in the window to see who was in that room. If Archie were in there, she would simply slip in the window. She had done that many times as a child to explore the old gatehouse. If it were Horatio, she would know to go around to the other smaller bedroom on the back.

She quietly slipped up to the window and looked inside. What she saw caused her to gasp out loud. She quickly covered her mouth and backed away, praying she had not been heard.

There in the candlelight, on the bed, naked, completely intent on each other, were Archie and Horatio.

Katy quietly sat down, her back against the wall. Tears welled up in her eyes. Archie was making love to someone else, A MAN. Her heart was pounding as though trying to escape her body. Archie and Horatio. Katy knew she had felt like an intruder at times earlier in the day, but she had not expected this. What was she to do? Archie had just asked HER to marry him, and now here he was in BED with someone else. How could he? After what he told her about Jack Simpson, how could he EVER want to be with a man?

She tried to calm her thinking. What should she do? If all Archie had told her had been true, and she had no reason to doubt it, why would he still want to be with a man? Why if he just proposed to her, was he with someone else? If he wanted sex, all he had to do was ask her, she could not have refused him.

Part of Katy wanted to run back to the main house, and pray she would wake from this nightmare. Another part of Katy wanted to storm in there and ASK them what the hell was going on between them, but still one more part wanted to watch.  She had had questions and suspicions about her wonderful father and his friends in the gatehouse; maybe this would answer at least some of those. This was Archie, her beautiful Archie; she had to know the truth. Maybe seeing them together would give her that truth.

Katy eased back up to the window. The two handsome young men were definitely engaged with pleasuring each other. She could tell by the expressions and movements that nothing was forced. Each was as gentle and loving with the other as Archie had been with her that one time. She knew by all standards of propriety she should be outraged at their actions, but for some reason she could not be. It was becoming quite obvious to Katy that the two hearts in that room loved each other very much.

That thought pained her heart. She loved Archie; she wanted to marry him, to bear his children, to grow old with him. She had believed he wanted the same thing. Did he regret his proposal now?  Did he really want Horatio instead of her? Katy’s head was beginning to spin with all the thoughts, but her body was also beginning to respond to what she was watching. Oh Lord, what was she going to do?

Katy’s body ached for Archie, but she knew it would not have him tonight. To disturb the lovers would be to risk losing all, and while she wasn’t sure now what ALL might be, she didn’t want to risk anything. She continued to watch. Archie was making love to Horatio. How she longed to trade places with Horatio, to be the one receiving Archie’s seed into her body. She wanted his arms around her, not Horatio. Her heart ached to think of what the scene she was watching meant to her future. Inside the gatehouse, their passions spent, the two handsome lovers were soon asleep in each other’s embrace. Katy made her way back to the main house, with an awful lot to think about before morning.

part 19

 

Katy barely slept. The memories of what she had witnessed at the gatehouse burned in her brain. Should she confront Archie or wait to see what the day would bring?  She really wanted to bury her dilemma in her pillow and never leave the bed. Her maid knocked on the door and quietly entered the room to help her dress. It would be a long day. There was Gram to deal with; hopefully she would not decide that Lieutenant Hornblower was the Admiral again. Guests would be arriving for tea. Things had to be perfect for Lord and Lady Edrington. Flowers, she must cut flowers from the garden for the table.

Katy soon realized she was avoiding the one thing she should be most concerned with, how to deal with Archie and Horatio. They would be arriving for breakfast shortly, and she would have to face them. She finished dressing and sent the maid off to assist Cook in getting the breakfast prepared.

She was in the garden cutting flowers when Archie and Horatio arrived at the main house for breakfast. Archie greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He seemed as if nothing had happened. It was as if this was just another morning. Katy hurried them in to breakfast saying she would join them just as soon as she put her flowers in water.

As she put the flowers in their vases, Katy realized her hands were shaking. She did her best to calm the tremors for she feared they would give away her distress. She was not yet prepared to face the subject. She felt like a sailor lost at sea; not knowing which direction would take him to safety. She cautiously decided to raise her sail and let the winds take her where they wished, come what may. She headed to the dining room and her future.

The two young men were seated when she entered the dining room. Both leapt from their seats to assist her with her chair. She smiled at them, thinking how different they looked in the light of day, compared with the candlelight of the bedroom the evening before.

“Katy……Katy, are you with us?” It took a moment for Katy to return to reality and hear that Archie was speaking to her.

“Yes, Archie, I’m sorry, I was a bit lost in thought.”

“Did you not sleep well, love?” Archie asked with more than a little worry in his voice. “Are you ill? We can cancel the guests if we must.”  Canceling the Edringtons was the last thing Archie wanted to do, but his concern for Katy came first.

“No Archie, I am fine. Actually, I did not sleep well. That is all it is. I will be fine in a bit. Please enjoy your breakfast.  If you will excuse me I must check on Gram. I will only be a minute.”

Katy quickly left the room. Her heart was racing. She was not ready to raise that sail after all.

Archie could sense that something was wrong. He had known Katy far too long not to see the signs. Was she having second thoughts about marrying him? Had she had time to think on what he had told her, and was she now repulsed by the thought of him as Jack’s boy?  What was it? Then with the ferocity of a cannon blast, his mind shouted, Oh God, SHE KNOWS! Archie began to feel faint.

Archie felt strong arms supporting his body, keeping him from falling. Horatio guided him back to his chair. Please God, not a fit, not now.

It was not a fit, thank God, Archie had just hyperventilated himself to dizziness. Once he settled in to a slower breathing rate everything came back into focus.

Horatio was kneeling beside his chair. Archie looked at his lover and with fear in his eyes said to him, “Horatio, She knows. I don’t know how she knows, but I know she does. I’ve known her too long, it’s as though I can read her mind. My gut tells me she knows.”

“Archie, how could she?”

“Horatio, she said she did not sleep well, you don’t think…… Oh God, do you think she saw us?” Archie’s head was spinning again.

“Calm yourself Archie,” Horatio stroked Archie’s hand as he spoke, “ Calm down, or you will drive yourself into a fit. You have made it this far, through all the confessions so far, without one. Please try to relax.”

Archie was near to tears. Panic had driven him to the very edge. He knew Horatio was right. He can come too far to let a fit overtake him now. He had to fight the fears. He tried to concentrate on slowing down is rapid heart.

“Remember,” Horatio said quietly, “ Kit and Lady Margaret will be here this afternoon. They will help you.” That gave Horatio an idea. It might help not only Archie, but Katy as well.

“Archie, why don’t you go with the coachman to pick up Lord and Lady Edrington? Go early and give yourself time to talk with them both. I will stay here with Katy. She seemed worried about dealing with both Mrs. Whitfield and preparations for guests. I know I could at least occupy her grandmother for her, even if it means playing the Admiral again!”

“Thank you Horatio, that is a very good plan. Right now I don’t know if I could face Katy for more than a few minutes without having a fit. I have to think. I will go and speak to the coachman. Please tell Katy I have gone. Make whatever small talk you have to, but please, don’t say anything.”

“Archie, you know me better than that, I would never say anything to her that would hurt you or her. I promise to be the model of complete decorum.”

Archie quietly left the house and made his way to the stables. Horatio turned and went to look for Katy.

part 20

Katy left the dining room. She really did not have to check on her grandmother. She knew her grandmother was having breakfast in her room as she always did. She just could not face Archie right now. She made her way upstairs to her own room. She lay down on her bed and began to sob. Her heart was breaking. For all the happiness of yesterday, today seemed only filled with despair to Katy. Her mind alternated between punishing herself for going to the gatehouse last night, and reminding her it was better to know now, than later. She tried to imagine what her mother would say or do, but there was only emptiness there.

She had been curious about her father’s “friends”, but it had never occurred to her that they might have been more than friends. But even those friends did not begin to visit until AFTER her mother’s death. So what if he took comfort from his friends after his wife’s death. This was a totally different situation because Katy was alive and Archie had asked her to marry him and THEN took a lover to bed. How could he be so cruel? That little part of her soul that had wanted so desperately to hate Archie these past few years was rearing it’s ugly little head. She would confront him. She would call him what he was to his face, a lying, cheating, BASTARD. The fact that the lover had been a man did not enter her thoughts. Archie had taken a lover to bed the same night he proposed to her, that was what hurt the most. He would pay for that. One way or another, he would pay.

Katy picked herself up from the bed, and went to the washstand. She washed and dried her face and then walked to the mirror to check her hair. She was NOT going to let Archie see her any way but in total control. She was her father’s daughter and she would be strong, no matter what.

She calmly descended the stairs, her eyes searching the open doors of the floor below for signs of Archie. As she reached the first floor, Horatio came from the library.

“Is your grandmother well this morning? If I may be of assistance in entertaining her, I gladly offer my services, even if it means impersonating the Admiral.” He smiled at her and gave her a wink.

That smile, those eyes, that friendly manner, Katy’s stern resolve showed definite signs of weakening. It was easy for her to see what Archie saw in this handsome young man. In another time and place, Katy herself might have set her cap for HIM.

“Where’s Archie?” It came out as more of a demand than a question. The change in Horatio’s face told Katy something was amiss.

“ Archie has gone into the village. He hopes you will forgive him for his sudden departure. He asked me to convey his thanks to you for breakfast and for the loan of your coach and coachman. He wished to go himself to collect the Edringtons. He had several personal matters to attend.”  Horatio hoped that Katy would relax a bit now. She seemed so on edge when she saw Archie earlier.

Katy wondered what those personal matters could be, but she was grateful for the opportunity that now presented itself. She wanted time to talk with Horatio. She wanted to ask him questions about Archie, about what he had been through these past four years. She wanted to find out more about their friendship. Yes, her resolve was melting, but it wasn’t completely gone yet.  She would find answers, hopefully before Archie returned with her guests.

“Gram is fine, Horatio. She is resting this morning. At her age, she has good days and bad days. I fear today is not one of her stronger days, I don’t believe you will have to worry about portraying the Admiral.” She returned his wink. “Please, walk with me in the garden, I welcome this opportunity to get to speak with you privately.”

Horatio extended his arm, Katy took it and they walked to the garden.

As they walked, Katy began her inquisition.

“Please tell me something of Archie these past four years. He told me some of it, some very unpleasant things. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him. Tell me about yourself and your friendship. I can see it is a very special friendship indeed.” The words twisted in her soul as the spoke them.

Horatio swallowed hard. Katy did seem to know something, he just was not sure what. Was Archie right? Was Katy hoping for a confession? He would have to be very careful with his words.

“Archie was my first friend in the navy. He welcomed me to ‘Purgatory’ when I boarded Justinian. Looking back now, I think it would have been more correct for him to welcome me to HELL.  Poor Archie, I had no idea what he was and had been enduring at the hands of Jack Simpson.  I did my best to care for him when he had…” He paused, not wanting to say the words.”

“The Fits?” Katy said the words for him. “You do not need to hide them from me, I’ve known about them since they first began. I held Archie through many of them myself those two years before he joined the navy.”

“Things were much better when we transferred to the Indefatigable. Jack Simpson did not transfer. Archie had no more fits until Simpson’s arrival on the Indy.”

Katy could see tears beginning to well up in Horatio’s brown eyes. The pain of what he was telling her clearly visible on his handsome face.

“Please Horatio, Archie told me about those days. I want you to tell me about your time together in prison.”

Horatio began his recounting. “I mourned Archie for nearly three years. I blamed myself then and still blame myself now for his loss.  After we were captured on Le Reve, Mr. Hunter and I were put into a cell. He sat down on the bunk and something in the blankets moved. You can imagine my shock when that something turned out to be Archie. At that moment a weight lifted from my shoulders but another replaced it. Archie was alive, but he did not want to be alive. He was nearly MAD. As punishments for his escape attempts during his imprisonment, he has been beaten, flogged and put in a hole in the earth for a month.”

Katy gasped. Archie had told her some things, but not all of that.

Horatio continued, “He could not walk, and had no desire to return to the Indy. That night he had a fit. When he recovered, he said they had not troubled him lately, not even amidst the torture and pain of prison.  I knew we were the cause. We brought back bad memories. It did not matter to him that Jack Simpson was dead. He said he still did not want to return to the Indy. Prison and memories had driven him over the brink. He tried to starve himself to death. In his tormented mind, that was the best solution to all of our problems. It would allow him to escape his inner torments and allow us to escape without him being a hindrance to us.  He knew I would not leave him behind. It was almost too late when I realized what he was doing. I had to force him to eat; I had to try to force the will to live on him. It was a long, hard road.  I did not know about you and that he was hiding you to protect you. I really could have used a reunion with you to encourage him. Instead I had to make him see how much I needed his strength to go on. I really did need him but he could not see that.”

Katy was beginning to see why Archie felt so close to Horatio. He owed him more than just his life. He owed him his sanity, quite probably his soul.

“Mr. Hunter tried a foolish escape plan and nearly got us all killed. He was wounded due to his own folly, and I took the punishment while Archie cared for him. They put me in the same hole Archie had endured. I was not there even half as long as Archie. I still do not know how I survived. It is truly a statement on Archie’s hidden will to live that he came out of that pit alive. When they released me, Archie cared for me. Thankfully, as I was in much better condition going in, my recovery time was brief.”

He paused and looked at Katy. He did not want to hurt her, but he had to find a way to convey the mutual devotion he shared with Archie.

“He stood by me and went BACK to the Spanish prison. Captain Pellew told all the men that he would not think less of them for refusing to honour my word.  Archie had more reason than any other to refuse to return, but he was the first to speak up and say my word was good enough for him. He would return. He went back because of me, back to that dark and forbidding place. What can I say about a friend like that?

“I truly owe my life to that friendship. He saved my life at Muzillac. He risked his own life to cross a bridge mined with gunpowder and the fuses already burning. He pulled me from death’s door with no thought of his own life.”  A tear slowly escaped Horatio eye.

“Katy, you are indeed a lucky woman to have a man such as Archie. I wish you both all the joy and happiness that life can give to you. Please promise me that you will always treasure him. He so deserves to be treasured.”

That feeling of intrusion came over Katy again. It was gradually overcoming her rage at Archie. Her thoughts were even more torn and divided than before. Her father had once told her that men serving together formed very strong bonds, they had to at times, in order to survive the hardships and deprivations of the navy. She was beginning to understand. She just never expected it to be a bond of love, at least not physical love as she had seen in the gatehouse.

“Thank you, Horatio. Thank you for sharing that with me. You do have a special friendship forged literally in the ‘fires of hell’.  I almost feel like an intruder.” Katy hoped that would coax a bit more out of Horatio.

“Intruder? Nonsense!” Horatio put on his toughest Lieutenant’s face. He couldn’t let Katy see what he really felt. “You are not an intruder, you are returning true happiness and light to Archie’s life. He has so needed a ray of sunshine to brighten the darkness that still lurks in his soul. I try to cheer him, but I’m only a friend and fellow officer. You are clearly the light of his life.”

part 21

 

Katy’s coachman drove Archie into the village. Archie gave him instructions to return to the Whitfield estate. He would return with the Edringtons in their coach.

Lord and Lady Edrington were just returning from a walk as Archie was getting out of the coach. They could clearly see distress in his features.

“Mr. Kennedy, I did not expect to see you in the village. Mr. Hornblower said you did not wish word of your visit to reach your father.” Lord Edrington used his much more formal tones in public, saving his other side for more private moments

“My Lord,” Archie addressed his friend with the same formality, “ My father and mother departed very early this morning for the Scottish estates. By the time they return, I will be long since returned to the Indefatigable. I’m thankful for that small blessing this time. If I might have a word in private with both of you.” His tone began to show the distress present in his features.

“Of course you may, Archie, come with us to our suite. We have a lovely sitting room.” Lady Edrington gently reached for Archie’s arm to show him the way.

Archie’s nerves were on edge. He wasn’t sure how he was going to begin, but he knew he had to talk to someone.  In his mind, the Edringtons were his only hope.

Once inside the suite of rooms, all formalities ceased. It became just Margaret, Kit, and Archie. Margaret took the lead, urging Archie to sit down and calm himself. She knew from her husband about Archie’s history of fits and she certainly did not wish to see the handsome young man suffering one here and now.

“Archie,” her tone was calming, “ Please tell me what’s wrong. Has something happened?”

“Katy knows, I don’t know how, but she knows, and she hates me. I could see it in her face. I asked her to marry me and now she hates me. I just know she wants to be rid of me.” Archie was almost babbling.

Kit walked up behind Archie’s chair and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 “Archie, slow down, one step at a time. Last evening, Horatio said things were going very well for you with Katy. Please tell us everything that has happened.”

Archie took a deep breath and tried to be calm. “I told Katy the reason I stopped writing. I told her about Jack Simpson. She was so loving and understanding. She said that was all in the past. We talked for several hours. I thought things were working out for us. She said she still loved me and I knew from the moment I saw her again that I still loved her. I asked her to marry me, and she accepted.” He paused collecting his thoughts. “ I should have told her about Horatio and me then, but I didn’t. I was too lost in being happy. I guess I thought …..” He paused looking for the right words, “I don’t know what I thought…….But when Horatio and I were together later, I knew I had to tell Katy and I had to tell her soon.  She had to know that it was more than just a friendship with Horatio. I can’t just shut it all away. We can stop being lovers, but I can’t stop the feelings I have for him. It was only fair that if I was going to break her heart again, I should do it now and let her get on with her life without me; if that should be the way she wants it. Horatio and I talked about it, long into the night. He suggested I talk with you, Margaret, before I said anything to Katy. I agreed that sounded like the best way. I haven’t spoken with Katy about it. But this morning, Katy could not look me in the eye. She avoided me; she wouldn’t even stay in the same room with me for five minutes. Somehow, she knows and I think she hates me for it. I just don’t know what to do.”

Kit looked over at Margaret and then back at Archie. He felt he must be blunt in his questions if they were ever to sort out the situation and reach as satisfactory suggestion for Archie.

“Archie, forgive my impertinence with this question, but I must ask. Did you and Horatio say or do anything that could have given her cause to suspect something? Any gestures or words she might have seen or overheard?”

“We did nothing untoward in her presence; NOTHING at all. We even kept our curiosity about her father’s gatehouse bed to ourselves. Katy went to bed and we went back to the gatehouse for the night.”

“And what happened in the gatehouse? Archie, we have to examine all possibilities here.” Kit was afraid of what he was about to hear.

“What happened in the gatehouse? We went to bed.” The grim reality of the possibilities now descended on Archie as well.

“Alone, or together?”

Archie began to tremble. “Together.”

“I gather from your reaction that more than sleep went on in that bed. Is there any possibility that Katy might have seen you two together?”

“Katy was in the main house, she had no reason to come to the gatehouse.” Archie still did not want to believe what his mind was trying to tell him, but after all, this WAS Katy they were discussing, his very unpredictable Katy.

“Archie,” it was Margaret’s voice this time, “ it’s my turn for impertinence.” She smiled gently at the trembling young man. “Have you and Katy ever been intimate with each other? I would not normally ask that question of a gentleman about his lady, but I have a feeling the answer might shed a bit of light on the situation.”

Archie knew he had to answer truthfully. There was no reason not to tell Margaret and Kit. If they could understand his relationship with Horatio, they certainly would not pass judgment for two young lovers sharing one afternoon together.

“Yes, we were, once. Once and only once, a long time ago.” He explained the circumstances and Katy’s plea to him. Margaret seemed to understand how Katy felt.

“Archie, you yourself have just told me that Katy wanted you passionately then, no matter the price you both might have paid for your love. Could she not have been of similar mind last night? You two have been apart for more than four years. I know if I were parted from my love for that long of a time,” she smiled and squeezed Kit’s hand resting on her shoulder, “ I would certainly have wanted him enough to risk slipping away to join him. I have been known to do stranger things in my life. I’m sure at some point in the future Kit will apprise you of some of my little indiscretions, and he may do so with my blessings.” She smiled at her husband.

“Yes, Archie,” Kit grinned at his young friend, “my lovely wife can be quite the wanton woman when she sets her mind to it. She loves me and she allows me my freedoms, so I can allow her to be a bit brazen at times, as long as she is discrete about it. That’s a story for another time, but she does bring up a valid question. Could Katy, while trying to secretly join you in the gatehouse, have seen you with Horatio?”

All Archie could do was shake his head. Yes, she well could have seen him making love to Horatio. They did leave a candle burning. At that moment, Archie Kennedy wished he could just curl up and die.

He finally found his voice. “She must have seen us. There is no other explanation for her behavior this morning. What am I to do now? I want to marry her more than anything in this world. After what she must have seen, how can I make her understand what was happening? How can I convince her that Horatio is my best friend but she is my future? Horatio and I were saying our final goodbyes as ‘lovers’ last night.”

Margaret reached out and gently wiped a tear from Archie’s cheek. It pained her greatly to see him this way. She made up her mind that Katy must be made to understand the whole picture. Just as she had once convinced HER handsome Lord Phillip Charles Christopher Edrington that loving one did not necessarily mean giving up another, she was going to convince Miss Katherine Whitfield of the same thing.

“Archie, I will talk to Katy, ” was all that Lady Margaret said. Lord Edrington just smiled at his wife. He did not call her “The Master” without good reason!!

part 22

 

The drive to Katy’s seemed both endless and all too short to Archie. Lady Margaret tried her best to keep the young man calm and focused. She reassured him that she and Kit would be there to offer assistance if needed. She would wait until Archie talked with Katy and then, if she was needed, she would have her own talk with the young lady.

The coach rolled up in front of the house and Katy and Horatio came out to meet the new arrivals. After the formal introductions, everyone went through the house to the garden. It was a lovely afternoon; tea would be served in the garden. Katy was the perfect hostess but kept a bit of a distance from Archie. The Edringtons could see what Archie had been speaking of earlier in the village. Margaret encouraged Archie to ask Katy for a walk, so they could begin to work out the situation.

Katy was reluctant to leave her guests, but the Edringtons convinced her that they would be fine sitting in the garden chatting with Horatio. Kit whispered something to Katy and she finally agreed to walk with Archie.

Would this be a battle, or a negotiated settlement? The three guests remaining in the garden could only hope for a peaceful resolution.

As they walked, Archie reached for Katy’s hand. She quickly pulled it away. That single action stung him as much or more than a ‘cat o’nine’ would have. He had endured the pain caused by one of those in prison; it was less painful than this small rejection.

“Katy,” Archie said quietly, “I have one more confession to make. Please give me the chance to say what I have to, and then if you want me to leave, I will leave and release you from our engagement. I have a gut feeling you already know what I am going to say, your actions tell me you do.”

“What is it that you are going to confess Archie?  Is it that you have decided you would prefer Horatio to me or that you really LIKED what Jack Simpson made you do? You certainly seemed to enjoy it last night.” Katy knew that remark would hurt Archie and she wanted it to.

That question and statement cut Archie to the quick. He knew now that Katy had seen him with Horatio. Why couldn’t the ground just open up and swallow him? His head began to hurt; now he not only feared Katy’s wrath, but a fit as well.

“Oh God, Katy,” Archie’s voice quivered, “You saw us, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I saw you. I came to the gatehouse with the intention of sharing your bed, but I was too late. You had already taken a lover for the evening. How could you? You had just asked ME to marry you.”

Archie’s head was pounding along with his heart. He never got the chance to answer Katy. What he feared most happened and he slumped to the ground.

When he regained consciousness, his head was in Katy’s lap and she was crying. At that moment, part of Archie Kennedy just wanted to die. He had had a fit in front of Katy again. Katy sat stroking his hair and rocking him gently, just as she did when they were younger. He looked up into her green eyes and could see the pain in her soul.

“Katy, please, forgive me. You have to believe I never intended to hurt you. I was going to tell you about Horatio and me. I was honestly going to tell you before today was over. I could never keep such a secret from you. If you hated me, I was going to walk away and leave you in peace. It’s hard to explain how I feel. Horatio and I have been through so much together. We never intended to become lovers, it just happened. We found comfort with each other, when we had no other. Last night was our private goodbye to that part of our relationship. At least we thought it was a private goodbye. This morning was to be the start of my whole new life with YOU. Now, I may not have either of you.  If it is your wish, I will get my things and never trouble you again.”

“Archie, you have to give me time. I do love you. I will not send you packing just yet but I need time to sort out my feelings. I truly never expected to see you making love to anyone, and to see you with a man really took me by surprise; especially after what you confided to me yesterday. I regret that my remark about that Simpson beast caused your fit. Please forgive me for that. I wanted to hurt you, but not like I did.” Katy held Archie tightly. It reminded him of times in the past, when Katy had been there to hold him just as she did now. He silently prayed that she would continue to be there to hold him.

After a while, Archie felt strong enough to stand. They needed to return to the garden and the others.

“Archie, before we go back,” Katy hesitated, “I must know something. Deep down in your heart, what do you really want? Be totally honest with me, the truth cannot cut me any deeper than what has already passed between us. Do you really want me or do you want Horatio?”

“I want you both,” if Archie was going to be honest, he was going to be totally honest. Katy deserved that from him from now on. “ But I know I can’t have you both, Horatio has made it very clear to me that he will request a transfer before he will come between us. We have known from the beginning that someday we would be separated and we have accepted that. Last night was truly our last night as lovers. Please Katy, you have to believe that. I swear to you, from this moment on, if you will still have me, I am yours and yours alone. He will always be my best friend, but never again my lover.” The thought stabbed Archie like a knife, but he knew it would have to be that way.

“You have given me a lot to think about. Now, kindly give me time to deal with my thoughts.” Katy’s tone was a bit colder than it had been. She gave Archie’s hand a slight squeeze, released it and started toward the house. “Let us return to our guests. They will wonder what has happened to us.”

Katy’s mind raced as she and Archie returned to the garden. She still was not sure what to think about what Archie had said to her. She deeply regretted causing the fit, but she had wanted to hurt Archie. She wanted him to pay for her pain but not like that, it brought back too many terrible memories. She tried to shut them out by putting on her toughest front.

Archie’s friends greeted them warmly, each searching the faces of the returning pair for clues as to the outcome of the talk. Archie’s blue eyes told Margaret that nothing was settled. She didn’t know Archie as well as her husband did, but she was fast learning to read him. No one spoke of it, they all waited for Katy or Archie to say something. Neither one did. Katy went back to her hostess duties and Archie, looking a bit pale, went looking for a chair.

Horatio could see that Archie was physically shaken. He knew the cause. He had seen too many of Archie’s fits to miss the signs. He wanted to put his arms around his love and comfort him, but he knew better than to even touch Archie in front of Katy right now.

Margaret decided to step in. She might be putting her nose where it did not belong, but she had to try to help. It was not in her nature to stand by and watch mistakes being made; not when she thought she could prevent them. To Margaret’s way of thinking, to stand by and allow Katy and Archie to be separated by this situation, would be a BIG mistake. Lady Margaret Edrington was going into action!

 Katy went into the house to tell the Cook to send out more tea and cookies. Margaret walked over to Archie and quietly spoke to him. Very briefly, he told her what had been said between he and Katy and about the fit.

Margaret excused herself from the gentlemen and followed Katy into the house.

part 23

 

Margaret found Katy and asked if she could speak with her privately. Katy agreed and took Margaret to the library. She liked the smiling Lady Edrington. She liked BOTH of the Edringtons. She could see why Archie wanted her to meet them.

Lady Edrington began by asking Katy to sit next to her. Katy complied, wondering just what it was that she wanted to talk about.

“Katy, please forgive my intrusion on your personal life, but I feel I must say something. Please do not shut Archie out of your life. He is a truly remarkable young man and he does love you deeply.”

Katy thought to herself, “She’s here to plead Archie’s case, if she only knew the whole story she would probably run the other way.”

Margaret went on and on about Archie. The more she said the more agitated Katy became inside.

“ My Phillip has a very special affection for Archie…” Margaret was unable to finish the sentence for Katy’s interruption.

“So is your Phillip one of Archie’s ‘SPECIAL FRIENDS’ too? How many more of them are there out there?” Katy didn’t mean to be rude, but the pain of what she had seen was burning inside her.

The door was opened. Without batting an eyelash, Margaret took her opportunity.

“If by special friend, you mean lover, No, only in Phillip’s dreams.”

Katy was taken aback by Margaret’s forthright tone.

“Yes, Katy, to put it as gently as I can, My darling husband, Lord Phillip Charles Christopher Edrington, dances on both sides of the ballroom, and he does so with my blessing. BUT, when he dances on this side of the ballroom, I am his only dance partner. Heaven help him if there is ever another.”

Katy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This woman accepted her husband having lovers and male lovers at that. That still didn’t help her any. Just because this woman was willing to put up with being treated that way, didn’t mean she had to. Still though, she was curious about the whole thing. Her father’s friends kept creeping into her mind.

Margaret continued with her story.

“Phillip and I were childhood friends. I knew from early on that he was different from other boys. We were best friends and had few secrets between us. A bit like you and your Archie.” She paused and added, “Except, your Archie is NOT like my Phillip. Archie wanted you from the very beginning. Horatio, and it has only been Horatio, came later.  Yes, I do know about them, but that is another story. This one is about Phillip Edrington and me. I just want you to know our story, it might help you in making your choices.”

Katy relaxed a bit, she would hear Lady Edrington’s story.

“As we grew up, I fell in love with Phillip. In spite of all his eccentricities, I still fell head over heels in love with him. As heir to a title, he was bound by duty to marry and produce an heir. It haunted him. He’s so honourable and proper, that to him marriage meant giving up that other side of the ballroom, to be faithful to a wife. He avoided all those trying to find him a wife. He turned to me, his closest friend, for moral support. That moral support blossomed into a love on his part. My love for him was in full bloom, so I was not opposed to the idea at all. We married. I did the wifely thing, and followed my young officer to his postings. By this time, we had one child and another on the way. My days of following my husband from Army post to Army post were fast coming to an end. He was ever the gallant and faithful husband, but I could see something was missing in his life.  I asked him about his feelings. He confessed that he missed his male lovers. Yes, he had remained faithful to me, but in his heart something was missing. I could not bear the pain I saw in his eyes. I loved him too much. I made the decision then, that if that is what it took to fulfill him, he could have them, but only MALE lovers. They were no competition for me. Phillip loved me, he loved our children, but inside, he needed something I could not give him. He tried to stand his gallant ground, but I would not let him. I almost had to push him, but in the end, it was what he needed. He is gone much of the time and I have my children to fill my days. Phillip fills my nights went he returns. As a soldier, he risks his life daily for his country, I cannot begrudge him his moments of happiness in the field with his lovers.”

“Lady Margaret, you said earlier that Archie only had Horatio. He had Jack Simpson too.”

“That creature HAD Archie, in the vilest of ways. Please put that out of your mind. What Archie has had with Horatio has been very special and what Archie needed to survive what Simpson did to him, what prison did to him. Yes, I know the whole story. I have known about them since shortly after their ship transported Phillip’s regiment to France. Phillip cares very deeply for both of them, but they do not look to others. It has not been just a casual fling for them. He envies them that closeness. Phillip has one special love but he understands Phillip and allows him his freedom. Phillip is a ‘one woman’ man, but not a ‘one man’ man.  Archie and Horatio are not that way at all. As I see them, neither one would leave the other for another man, but both have closed the door on their relationship so that Archie is free to be yours. Horatio is giving Archie the greatest gift he possibly can, a life with you. It pains him deeply to lose Archie but he knows he must.”

Katy remembered Horatio’s words to her earlier in the day. The “Treasure Him, he so deserves to be treasured” suddenly had new meaning.

“Then I should step away and let Horatio have Archie. I’m something from his past. Why should he give up what he has now with Horatio for me?”

“No you shouldn’t step away. Archie loves you and he needs you. You complete his soul. It shows on his face when he talks about you. He cannot spend his life with Horatio. For as much as they love each other, he does love you more. If you cannot share him with Horatio, he will understand that and belong only to you, but he will be cast adrift forever if you send him away. As awful as this may sound, and don’t take it wrong, Horatio is not enough for Archie. He is one of the finest young officers in His Majesty’s Navy, and he will one day be an admiral, but he will never be to Archie what you will be.”

Margaret’s words had hit their mark.

 Damn it Archie, Katy thought, you really are something special to have these people pulling for you, willing to spill their souls in your behalf. They have faith in you and my father had unending faith in you as well.  I guess it’s time I do the sam 

part 24

 

Katy’s heart ached. Margaret’s words had reached deep inside her and touched her heart, no, STABBED her heart. The pain of what she had said to Archie, holding him while he suffered another fit, only made the wound deeper. Yes, she still wanted Archie. She wanted Archie more than anything, of that she was quite certain. Katy just was not sure she would be willing to share him. That decision was yet to be made, but at least she could now go back and face Archie. The anger was subsiding. Lady Margaret had seen to that with her words.

Katy had a few more questions for Lady Edrington before she could face Archie.

“Do you really believe Archie still wants me after what I said to him today? Can we really make a life together now?”

“Yes, Katy, I know he still wants you. I heard it from Archie’s own lips. You had every right to be angry. The two of you do still have an awful lot to work out between yourselves, but there is no reason in the world that you cannot make a wonderful life together. Just give yourselves the chance. Life with a military husband is never easy. You have to know that from your parent’s marriage. We each find our own ways of dealing with it. My life is more than a bit unconventional, but I know I have a loving husband, faithful in his own way to only me. I see his ‘special friends’ not only as his lovers but also as his guardians and comforters. They look after him when I cannot, just as friends and shipmates will do the same for Archie if he returns to the Indefatigable. They will not be his lovers but they do care about him. Phillip has seen them with him on the mission to Muzillac.

‘If he returns’. That thought had never occurred to Katy. The Navy was Archie’s life. Surely he would not leave the navy.

“What do you mean by ‘if he returns’?” Katy asked.

“He never mentioned that to you? In passing today, he made the statement that if that is what it will take to prove his sincerity to you, then that is what he will do. I thought he might have said something to you this afternoon.”

“Archie can’t leave the Navy, that’s all he’s ever dreamed of.”

“That and YOU, Katy.” Margaret’s words reminded Katy of the times when she and Archie had dreamed of their futures together, all those years ago. Archie would be the serving officer and she the loving wife at home raising his children. It was all ONE dream, one future. It was their future, together. She knew now that no matter what, it was what she truly wanted, even if it meant sharing Archie. She still did not want to share him, but she truly wanted him to be happy. If to that the end it did mean sharing, she could think of only one person she would be willing to share her lover with, and that was Horatio.

Tears of relief were streaming down Katy’s cheeks. She had made her decision, now to deliver the news to the handsome young lieutenant waiting outside.

Margaret smiled at her and offered her a handkerchief. She could see the decision in Katy’s eyes and she was pleased, she was more than pleased, she was thrilled.

She looked forward to seeing Archie’s face light up when Katy returned to him.

The two ladies walked to the garden. Archie sat with his head in his hands. He did not notice their arrival. Kit walked over and touched him on the shoulder. He jumped at the touch.

“Mr. Kennedy, I think your future awaits you.”

Archie looked up, fully expecting the worst. He slowly stood to face his judgment, his face clearly showing the strain of the events of the day. He knew he must be brave; after all he was an officer in His Majesty’s Navy.

Katy’s smile gave away her decision. She ran to Archie, practically knocking him to the ground in her eagerness to be in his arms.

Lady Margaret walked to her husband’s side. “ Mission successful, My Lord.”

“Well done, My Lady, Well done indeed!”

Horatio stood there silently. For all his joy and happiness for his best friend, his heart ached at the reality now facing him

Archie could barely believe what was happening. Katy just kept repeating that she loved him. He held her tightly, tears of joy welling in his eyes. Margaret and Kit stood off to the side smiling. Kit had his arm around his wife and every few moments he would give her a small hug. ‘The Master’ had worked her magic once more. He glanced over to where Horatio stood and noticed the sadness in his eyes.

“Come Horatio, return with us to the Inn for dinner. Let us give these two a quiet evening to discuss their plans.”

“ Yes, I would like that very much,” Horatio wanted very much to leave before Archie had the chance to see what was in his heart. Archie could always read him. No matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings, his friend always knew them. He did not want to spoil this moment for Archie.

When Katy and Archie finally released each other, they both began to thank their friends for the love and support. Archie hugged Margaret and whispered a special thank you softly in her ear. He shook hands with Kit but Kit replaced the handshake with a hug. Katy hugged both of the Edringtons. She promised Lady Margaret she would not forget her words that day.

Archie walked over to Horatio. He extended his hand. Before Horatio could accept the hand, Katy pushed in between them.

“Pardon me Lieutenant Kennedy, but I would like a word with Lieutenant Hornblower, if you don’t mind.” She pulled him off to the side, leaving a slightly stunned Archie Kennedy wondering what was going to happen this time.

“Lieutenant Hornblower, Sir, I have special orders for you. They must be followed to the letter if you expect to remain in my good graces. Is that understood?”

Horatio nodded. Archie said she was unpredictable, the past two days had clearly proven that, but what was she up to now?

“Your orders Mr. Hornblower,” she paused for effect,  “are to take very good care of Lieutenant Archibald Kennedy. I expect him to return home to me in good working order each time the Indefatigable is in its home port.” She gave Horatio a sly grin. “If while on board ship or in another port, you find it necessary to comfort him for whatever reason, you are free to do so in whatever manner you see fit, AND you do so with MY BLESSING. Just see that you are the ONLY ONE other that me that assumes that role. Is that clearly understood?”

Horatio could not believe his ears. Had Katy just given her blessing to his relationship with Archie? Did she really say what he thought she did? He looked to Archie for an answer. Archie had the same shocked expression on his face.

“Mr. Hornblower, I have asked you a question. Would you care to answer me?”

“Aye Aye Ma’am! I understand and I happily accept that order.” Horatio was beaming.

“Good, then I trust you will join your friends the Edringtons for dinner in the village and leave Archie to me for this evening.” Katy stood on her toes and gave Horatio a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at Archie. Archie returned that smile with an even bigger one. It didn’t get any better than this…………

part 25. 

 

Horatio and the Edringtons were not at all unhappy about being shown the door. In this case, they were eager to leave to allow the young lovers time alone. Horatio was again truly joyous for his best friend and LOVER. Yes, they would be able to remain lovers. Katy had personally given him her blessing to continue to share Archie’s life and bed.

The coach departed and Katy and Archie were finally alone. Cook prepared them a quiet dinner in the dining room. Archie was still reeling from Katy’s ‘orders’ to Horatio. In his wildest dreams he had NEVER imagined that scenario. He would be indebted to Lady Edrington for all of his days.

Archie knew he only had a short time left of his leave to spend with Katy. He and Horatio would soon have to return to the Indy. There were so many plans to be discussed. Of course he would have to tell his parents and Katy would have to tell her family, her grandmother, her uncle, and of course, her brother, David. The one thing they both agreed upon was that there could not be a formal wedding without David being there and he was presently posted to India. Katy was not even sure that the news of her father’s death had reached him. Uncle William had dispatched a letter for David to Horse Guards and also one to his superiors asking that if at all possible, David be posted back to England. He hoped his friends in high places could assist him. No word had come from either letter so far. So, formal wedding plans would have to wait a bit.

Wedding plans would have to wait, but Katy was not sure that her feelings and desires for Archie could wait. As she sat at the table holding Archie’s hand in hers, her sea green eyes gave away her desires to the man she loved. He could feel his body responding and blushed with embarrassment. It did not go unnoticed by the observant Katy. She smiled at him and rose from her chair.

Archie followed Katy to the library. He wanted to take her in his arms, he wanted to show her how much he loved her. Alas, this was not the time and place. If he had only known what Katy had in mind last night, but then, for all the ordeals of the day, Katy’s midnight visit and its resulting discovery had been a blessing. There were no secrets between them any more. He would be patient; at least he would try to be.

Katy excused herself to check on her grandmother, and to speak with the cook and maid. With all of her duties as granddaughter and mistress of the house complete, she returned to Archie. Thankfully the members of her staff were not judgmental. They had seen her torment during the years of Archie’s absence and were all quite pleased upon his return. Katy felt comfortable being alone in the library with Archie, but she wanted more and what she wanted she could not have in the main house

Katy finally gathered up her nerve. “Archie, I think it is time to call it an evening.

Archie was more than a bit shocked. It was still very early. He would be leaving tomorrow and hated to lose these last few hours with Katy.

“Katy? Have I done something else to upset you?”

“No Archie, it is just time for you to go to the gatehouse. I did not sleep well last night and I wish to retire early.” Her voice was a bit louder than it needed to be, Archie was only three feet away. Then Archie realized that the statement was not made for his benefit but for the staff. He smiled at Katy.

Katy squeezed his hand and spoke very softly, “ Now off to the gatehouse Lieutenant, I will join you presently, when I’m sure the staff and Gram have retired for the evening.”

Archie walked down the dark path to the gatehouse. With anticipation coursing in his veins, he was on top of the world this night.

Several very long hours passed before Archie heard the side door of the gatehouse creak. He took a candle and walked into the darkened bedroom. Katy stood before him, a vision of loveliness in a sheer white gown. Her golden blond curls falling loosely around her shoulders, she looked every bit the Angel Archie always knew her to be. He took her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

“Remember the last time, Archie? We were not sure what to do. We have both grown up a bit, I am sure you know what to do THIS time.” The reference did not pain Archie, as it might have earlier in the day.

“I believe I do know a bit more this time, my lady.” Archie began to unbutton Katy’s gown and then eased it from her shoulders. She was wearing nothing else.

Archie was wearing only his shirt and breeches. Katy lifted the tails of his shirt over his head and tossed it away. Then she gently unfastened the buttons on his breeches and eased them down for him to step out.

Here they stood, naked to each other, just as they had once before. Archie was pleased with what maturity as given his lovely Katy. This was no longer the boyish figured young girl he made love to four years ago. This was truly a beautiful young woman and she was his, now and forever.

Katy gasped as her eyes fell on Archie’s body. The tanned muscular body was as she remembered but she had not expected the terrible scars that now adorned it.

Archie could see the shock in her eyes and wanted to cover the scars so as not to pain his love, but Katy would not allow it. She slowly walked around him, gently caressing each one. She kissed the musket ball wound on his shoulder. She kissed the saber slash on his arm, but she was not prepared for the lash marks on his back. Another gasp escaped her lips. She had not seen those in the candlelit scene with Horatio the night before.

Archie turned to face her. “A small memento from one of my escape attempts. Do they repulse you? Can you bear to look at them forever?”

“Archie, Horatio told me you had been flogged in prison. I knew there would be dreadful scars.  I thought I had prepared myself for them. It just pains me to see them because I can only imagine the pain you endured.”

“That pain could not hold a candle to what I endured earlier this day with the thought of losing you my love. At least that pain today was brief for I truly feared it to be a mortal wound.”

“Then let us heal those wounds tonight, my love.”

Archie gently swept Katy from her feet and carried her to the bed.

This was not the same Archie who had bedded Katy once long ago. This was a confident man who knew how to pleasure his lover. Katy was soon swept up in the tides of passion and riding waves the heights of which she never thought possible.

When Archie thought Katy could stand no more, he rolled on top and gently eased his way inside. When his release came, he clutched tightly to his love, never wanting to leave her body. This was his Katy and now she would be his forever. Katy held him tightly, thankful that he had been returned to her arms. Archie rolled over and cuddled Katy to his chest. No matter what the future held for them, they would always have each other.

  As a peaceful sleep descended on Katy that night, visions of three people came to her mind. Three people she would always be grateful to for what she now had with Archie. Her mother for her wisdom in teaching her about love, her father for his unending faith in Archie, and a young lieutenant by the name of Horatio Hornblower for loving Archie and keeping him alive in the Spanish prison to come home to her.

  Epilogue

  Just before dawn, Katy slipped out of bed.  She would have to return to the main house before everyone there arose. She was careful not to wake the sleeping Archie. He looked so peaceful and content; Katy almost couldn’t bear the thought of his leaving. Looking down at his handsome face she remembered her mother’s words to her. She could feel that warmth inside from her lover’s presence. It would truly keep her warm until he returned, and he WOULD return. Horatio would see to that.

 

 

The End 

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