DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders is the creation of Ed Spielman, and the property of Ogiens/Kane productions in association with MGM/UA television. This Story is created for entertainment purposes only, no infringement intended. Not to be copied without permission from the author.
Lou stood at the doorway of her tiny daughter’s bedroom and watched with tears in her eyes as Buck the sleeping angel in her bed then placed a gentle kiss on her cherubic face. She knew that he loved her daughter like she was his own and as she grew Lou knew that whether they became a couple or not he would happily fill the role that in other circumstances would have been Kid’s, but she still wondered how he would take the news that she was expecting another, a child that could possibly have been created on the one night they had spent together.
Her tears overflowed as she realised that he hadn’t spoken of their night together, or indeed of their love yet. His actions all spoke of his affection, but then he had always been affectionate, unconsciously lavishing gestures and touches showing the depth of his emotions on his family. Her tears trickled down her cheeks as she gazed at him, kneeling at her baby’s side, her mind once again in a whirl, praying that he would be happy about her condition.
Buck, stood and turned to look at the woman that he was sure was about to break his heart. So convinced was he that she was going to tell him that she didn’t love him, he didn’t look directly into her face, choosing to stand there momentarily looking at his feet, trying to work up the courage to face her. Hearing her heartbroken sob, his eyes flew to search her face for the cause of her sorrow, but it was too late, she had fled for the room she had become accustomed to sleeping in, his bedroom. His eyes turned liquid as he realised that she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him, let alone love him. Buck followed her slowly, trying desperately to keep some perspective and not break down in front of her, whatever happened it was her decision and he would respect her wishes.
He walked into his bedroom to find she was curled on his bed, his pillow cradled in her arms sobbing wildly. Realising that her heart was breaking, he knelt on the bed behind her and pulled her into his arms.
“Lou I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong?’ he spoke softly against her soft hair
“Buck” she murmured as she melted into his arms
“Lou, I’ll understand if you’ve changed your mind, if you think the night we spent together was a mistake.’ he spoke against the top of her head unable to hide the faint quaver in his voice.
“Have you?” she spoke her voice catching in her throat as she did
“That’s not fair Lou, I don’t want you to feel responsible for my feelings” he pulled her closer as she would have turned in his arms “No matter what I feel, I will respect your wishes” his lips touched the top of her head
“No I haven’t” she spoke softly “But I do have a problem” she turned and pulled out of his arms moving to the end of the bed to set with her arms wrapped around her knees.
“We can fix anything honey” he spoke as he moved to kneel in front of her on the bed and pull her trembling hands into his own.
“I’m pregnant Buck” she murmured her voice less then a whisper, her tears overflowing
Buck watched her, knowing that she and Kid had been trying for a baby for some time, thinking that she should be the happiest girl in the world. Lou gazed into her lovers eyes and realised the exact moment that he realised that the baby could be his. His eyes looked like molten chocolate as tears clouded his vision, trying not to cry as he realised that Lou’s dismay could only be caused by the fact that she didn’t want his child.
“whose baby is it Lou?” he asked softly, dreading the answer that he knew he would get
“I don’t know Buck” she murmured her own tears cascading down her cheeks. Knowing that the happiness of their whole future hinged on this conversation, he crawled forward and drew her into his arms, gently stroking her hair as he pulled her against his chest.
“Lou” he paused trying to choose his words carefully “I know how hard the two of you were trying to have a baby” he soothed her gently “I know that you don’t want to have my baby Lou, that’s okay really, I understand truly I do, but there’s a lot less chance of it being my baby than Kid’s” he spoke softly, startled when she pulled out of his arms and looked at him in incredulation.
Realising that he was unsure of her feelings she took one of his hands and placed it over the slight bulge at her waistline.
“Buck no” she shook her head wildly one of her hands over his, the other cupping his face “Its not that at all” she smiled waterily “I so badly wanted you not to be hurt” she murmured “I so badly want this to be Kid’s baby” she paused and looked at the pained expression in his eyes “but I wanted so badly for it to be your baby as well”
He sat there for a moment his hand gently caressing the source of Lou’s torment, then pulled her into his embrace, letting her lay against him, his hands caressing her belly gently, almost reverently. “
I could never ever regret you bearing his child Lou, he is the man you love, but I can promise you this baby will grow up with a father that loves him or her, but will also know what a wonderful person Kid was.” he kissed the side of her neck “Please Lou don’t let things upset you like this. Talk to me.” he turned her face to gently meet her lips “I love you Lou, we can get through this” he lifted his hand to gently wipe the tears from her cheeks.
Lou turned in his embrace and returned his kiss, smiling against his lips as he sank into her embrace, her torment of the past weeks now passing behind her, their only thoughts to bring the other pleasure.
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