Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there's no shit in the toilet.

Clean Shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't have to ruin them with a nasty stain.

Second Wave Shit: This happens when you're done shit-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to shit some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Shit: The kind where your strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit that is so huge you're afraid to flush it without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Shit: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is laughing.

Drinker Shit: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Shit: Self-Explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit-Shit: The kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Shit: (Power Dump) The kind that comes out so fast your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

Liquid Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of you butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Shit: It smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper-Class Shit: The kind of shit that doesn't smell.

The Surprise Shit: You're not even at the toilet because you're sure you're about to fart, but oops!!......A shit!

The Dangling Shit: This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know your are done shitting it. You just pray that wiggling will cut it lose.