Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time s/he coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"

Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language.

Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

Twitch a lot.

Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If s/he walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.

Buy an inflatable doll. Sleep with it.

Sign up your roommate for all the radical organizations on campus. If they call, tell them s/he is very interested in and in favor of their cause.

Learn the words to all your roommate's favorite songs. Sing along.

Put pornos under his/her bed. Whenever someone comes to visit your roommate when they're not home, show them the magazines.

Become a dart juggler. Put a little bandage on your face one day. The next day wear an eyepatch and scream that your career is ruined.

Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.

Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.

Eat moths.

Urinate in a jar and leave it by your bed. When your roommate isn't looking, replace it with a jar of apple juice. Each night before you go to bed, take a big swig from the jar.

Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.

Whenever you're on the phone and s/he walks in, hang up immediately without saying anything and crawl under your desk. Sit there for two minutes, then call whoever it was back.

Have really weird friends who have strange loud conversations. Whenever your roommate walks in, you all be quiet and stare at him/her until s/he leaves.

If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.

Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

Mount a wall-sized mirror on your wall and then ask your roommate not to look at it because demonic forces from the other side will escape into this world if s/he does.

Get a gun permit. Show your roommate then start mumbling. Just glare with your eyes wide open and say nothing if they ever say "what".

Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wo 837-9494! Holy cow!")

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If s/he asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.

Adopt an iguana. Collect the skin peelings. Give them to your roommate as a peace offering from Peter (the iguana).

Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.

Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.

Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor).

Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.

Talk like a pirate, all the time. Refer to your roommate as "matey." Threaten to make him/her walk the plank if s/he doesn't swab the deck.

Come home with an order of french fries. Poor a whole brand new bottle of ketchup on your fries then eat a couple. Throw the whole mess in the garbages then rant about the price of ketchup.

Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.

Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off, say, "Who the hell do you think you are? A king?"

Follow him/her around on weekends.

Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He/She just didn't belong."

If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.

Challenge your roommate to a duel. If s/he refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that s/he remove all of his/her possessions immediately.

Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, she's around here somewhere."

Skip to the bathroom.

Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.

Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."

When you walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on when you leave.

Learn to play an accordion.

Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

Tell your roommate on a daily basis that s/he is projecting negative karma.

Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.

Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.

Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.

Collect Chia Pets.

Ask a friend for some large pictures of themself along with some momentoes. Cherish these items and explaine that these objects are from a deceased friend. Pay careful attention to them daily and often remark about how wonderful your friend was and how much you miss them. Have your friend show up one day when you are not there.

Keep faeces in your fridge. Complain that there is never anything to eat.

Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed.

Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.

Begin to accumulate a used gum ball. Weigh it every day. Accuse your roommate of stealing gum.

Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS.

Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.

Lick him/her while they are asleep.

Borrow a different friends bike every night. Bring it into your room and act paranoid. First thing in the morning return the bike then come back and show your roommate fifty dollars. Never say anything about it.

Make a contract with the Mafia to kill your roommate. Become a born-again Christian and dreadfully regret your actions. Explain to your roommate the situation, how sorry you are, and that there is nothing you can do to prevent the hit. Try to convert your roommate before s/he dies.

Let mice loose in his/her room.

Listen to the Beatles "Helter Skelter" every day for exactly 11 minutes at 11:00 PM. On the eleventh day draw a swastika on your forehead. Act surprised if your roommates comments.

Put Vaseline on everything. Tell your roommate that you were just trying to "loosen up" the room.

Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

Lock the door while your roommate is out. When s/he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

Put horseradish in your shoes.

Give him/her an allowance.

Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roomate.

Dress in drag.

Buy forty two-liter bottles of generic soda. Dump out one bottle. Every time you drink a bottle, urinate (censored because of US Government was: "_ISS") in the empty one. Do so until you have thirty-nine bottles of urine. Complain to your roommate that generic soda tastes awful.

Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.

When your roommate is typing, type on your keyboard in synchronization.

Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.

Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that s/he hurt its feelings. Watch TV with the pig, eating lots of bacon.

Create an animal cemetery in your floor. Hold memorial services. If your roommate complains, tell him/her that s/he has no respect for the dead.

Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.

Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.

Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."

Wear nothing but tightie-whities whenever your roommate has guests.

Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If s/he asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.

Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

Punch a hole in the TV. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.

Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.

Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? S/he won't be here much longer."

Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native-American roots, claim that s/he has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.

Become a subgenius.

Shave off one of your eyebrows. Look at your profile in the mirror for hours each day; first one side, then the other. Every three minutes, remark to your roommate, "Something looks different..." When s/he comments on your eyebrow, look surprised and ask when your one eyebrow appeared.

Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.

Burn incense.

Leave Kleenexes dipped in mayonnaise on the floor. Tell guests that your roommate is disgusting and show them.

Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if you can box with his/her shadow.

Put no-doze pills in your roommate's drinks.

Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.

Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.

Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If s/he asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.

Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.

Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

Order five anchovy pizzas in your roommate's name. When the deliverer arrives, tell them that your roommate likes to play jokes on the pizza place and then your roommate lies about his/her ordering. Tell them where s/he is.