10. Gargamel (from "The Smurfs")
Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in
faggy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan
to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
9. Olive Oyl
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that
skinny?! she might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her
burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell
are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for courting her.
8. Snagglepuss
Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is
suspicious.
7. He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER
OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his
castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the
shit in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse.
6.& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to
the cave and trip. Another side ? Are they gay? I mean, take a
look at boo boo.
4. Droopy
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an
upper every year or two? The only time I ever saw him happy is when
he sees the picture of the babe.
3. Dopey Dwarf
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are
under investigations. Allegations that Doc is
writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys are partaking are afloat.
2. Daffy Duck
If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he
bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the
time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't
work for him. Might for his buddy with Tourettes, Porkythough.
1. Shaggy
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the
boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go
to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed
per episode does pot. And Look at the way he and his friends painted that van!