Joker's Computer Craziness
10. When it all of a sudden trys to blind you by adjusting the screen tint to extremely bright.
9. The keyboard moves and laughs everytime you try to type on it.
8. Instead of saying Welcome, You've got mail! when you sign on its says: Come Robin, To the batcave!
7. Every time you turn your computer on a whirl of colors spins around and you hear a continuous, "Hiya kids! Haha!"
6. It starts playing "This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends some people started singing..."
5. When it starts screaming about the dancing monkeys in the corners
4. Your screen saver is a picture of a padded room, with a computer with a straight jacket on, with men in white suits holding the computer and the computer is typing "I'm not crazy i swear, honest."
3. Everytime you boot it up it sings "I Drive Myself Crazy".
2. It actually does everything you want it to do!
And... #1 Way To Tell That Your Computer Is Completely Insane...
1. When the "you've got mail" guy starts saying, "I think you have mail, do you have mail? You might have mail, did you know you might have mail? I'm the only one who knows if you have mail or not. Didn't you know that in another life, we all had mail at least once."
10. You can't even touch the mouse anymore...its sooo nasty!
9. It greets you with a stuffy nose when you sign on: "You'b god bail."
8. When you run a virus scan the result is "Flu virus. Fix with antibiotics (Y/N) ?
7. When you sign on you get chicken soup pop up ads.
6. Your computer mysteriously downloads a anti- "virus" doctor.
5. When you sign online the first e-mail in your box is a bill for a huge shipment for a cold and cough medicine.
4. The Walgreens, Osco Drug, and Pharmacy Central websites have all been put in your favorite places.
3. You find used kleenex sticking out of your hard drive, disk drive, and cd rom.
2. It has the Dimatap in the CD rom holder and the little cup filled to the 2 teaspoon line.
And... #1 Way To Tell If Your Computer Has A Cold...
1. You can get ice cubes out of your CD ROM
10. The screen saver doodles little dogs, cats, and flowers
9. It starts to play the Jeopardy theme song.
8. it organizes your favorites list in alphabetical order
7. It tells you can you speed it up alittle bit, im not getting any younger here!
6. You find old tic-tac-toe games from competitions between your computer and a can of Spam. Guess who won...
5. You Notice Every Once and A While Your Computer Is Going Into Sleep Mode Even While Your Doing Things On It.
4. When you start getting emails saying: I'm bored. Are you bored? I'm really bored. Signed your pc.
3. When an error message comes up saying "Just Kidding"
2. You come home from school to find all your high scores for solitare beaten.
And... #1 Way To Tell That Your Computer Is Bored...
1. When your computer starts to get fat from eating to much junk mail.
10. It deletes all your virtual pets.
9. Your computer starts to act faster to impress you.
8. It tries to send a report to the FBI through E-Mail that the dog is armed and dangerous
7. The only thing on your favorites list is "www.diedog.com" and a site about how to kill animals and get away with it.
6. Tears run down its moniter as it sobs in a weepy voice "You never play with MEEEE anymore since he-he-heeee came!" and eurupts into loud sobs.
5. It begs you to run playfetch.exe.
4. Fluffy looks like she ran into a weed wacker, and you found a pair of scissors hiding behind the monitor.
3. Keeps mailing threatening letters to Fido@dogtreat.com and meower@catnip.com
2. You find your computer trying to drink out of the toliet.
And... #1 Sign Your Computer Is Jealous Of The Pet Of The House...
1. You find computer disks in your fish tank, later you find your cat's bowl missing, a note in it's place reads: I have Fluffy get me a soft bed and a bowl with my name on it and you'll get her back...maybe
10. You start to see your computer in horror films.
9. When you shut down your computer it says "It is now safe to dominate the world".
8. Everytime you move the mouse it goes..."You're not in Kansas anymore BUCKO !!!"
7. You go on-line to "America's Most Wanted" web site and your computer is on there.
6. When you try to Shut Down, you get a message saying: "I don't think so, fleshbag!" and it electrocutes you through the mouse!
5. Uses your CD-ROMs for skeet shooting.
4. When the mouse starts moving you around!
3. When trying to turn the off switch - a little rotating Bill Gates head taunts you not to.
2. When you get hate mail and E-mail bombs from "HrdDriv@yourcomputer.com"
And... the # 1 way to know your computer is evil...
1. Ev6ry onc6 in a whi6e 6our keybo6ar6 ins66ts a six i6 place o6 a le66er or sp6ce.
----------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
\|/
Top Ten Ways To Tell That Your Computer Is Completely Insane
Top Ten Ways To Tell If Your Computer Has A Cold
Top Ten Ways To Tell That Your Computer Is Bored
Top Ten Signs Your Computer Is Jealous Of The Pet Of The House
Top Ten Ways 2 Know Your Computer Is Evil
