| GBook | Pictures of Jessica Warder | Seinfeld|
It's about time I update. I've had this website for about four years now, and I still don't have a six-pack. I've been thinking about tearing this website down, and starting a new one, but like I said earlier, I've had this website for about four years now.
I now know the root of my bad luck with women. All those emails that say "send this to 12 people, or you will have bad luck with your crush for 12 years" I have exempted myself from sending out. I guess if I sent out all of those, I'd have sworms of women. I wouldn't want too many, ten would do. And if I got to choose my ten, this is what Top Ten Most Desirable Women of SGP would be like...
Well, here's the cut for the top ten list. I don't think many people are dying to see who made the list, but that's only because it's my list. Maybe I'll put a list on this website, and just say it's Ian's or something. That'll bring swarms of women.
I don't know, if you're really lazy, and just want to see a certain number, just use these nifty internal links below, BTW, you're welcome.
| #10 |
Coming in at #10 is Kristen Hamilton. When I first decided to make a top ten most desirable women's page, i told myself two requirements had to be met to make this list. ONE: The person had to be a girl, and TWO: It can't be based on looks alone. By choosing Kristen Hamilton, I've already broken one rule. It's not so much that all she has is looks, but that's all I know her for. I see her at the Y sometimes too. And I know she used to go out with David Glover, but that's it, I swear.
Number 9=Lindsay Harrison (don't freak out plz)
Against initial instinct, i put her on here. If she knew she was on here, she'd probably kill me. Then herself. Probably not, but it'd make for a killer movie. Well, I think when I first thought I was even remotely attracted to her, Robin Gaskill told her or something, and she over exaggerated and made a 'BLAH' face. I later found it that it wasn't mere coincidence that she made the face immediately after hearing the 'bad' news. It's ok though, I gave up on her soon after discovering the number one girl. Which can be found only by reading girls 2-8.
At #8 is Mary Agnew. How could i not include Mary Agnew? I remember back in 8th grade when we went on the OM trip, each of the guys (except for Pierce because of his situation with Erin) began to look at the Jackson girls. Ian fell in love with Ashley Hancock, the short blonde girl. David's heard belonged to Erin Mazur, the tall long-legged girl. And I belonged to Mary. Not so much for her good looks, but for charming attitude. Maybe it was the bus fumes, but I felt something for Mary I had never felt for someone else.
#7 is Daisy Whitten. Daisy Daisy. I think I began to like her during the end of my freshman year. Probably around the band trip time or so. We even hung out a lot during the band trip, but I didn't think it meant anything. Then, my sophomore year, we went to homecoming and band banquet together. I treated this as a sign, and was close to asking her out. But then, like a hawk in the sky, I found out she had a boyfriend, and he was in college, and he was a pilot too. Sometimes I would wish his plane would crash. I think me quitting band also ended the liking of Daisy. But maybe if I ever join band again, I'll rekindle my lust for a woman named Daisy.
#6 had to go to Melissa Skaar. What a woman. She stands at a meager 4' 9", but she looks like a porcelain doll. I almost wish I could display her with all of my other porcelain dolls. She's pretty and all, but it doesn't stop there. She has this friendly aroma to her that attracts me to her like flies to poo. And sometimes, when I see her on the road on the way to school, driving in her Integra, displaying her road rage, I wish I could be in the car with, just talking about BAND or something.
#5 was a hard one to pick. It marks the middle, the ides, the halfway mark, and so on. Well, it ended up being Mrs. Rowe. Some may find it distasteful to choose a teacher as a desirable woman. But in reality, a teacher makes the best candidate. For example, Mrs. Rowe is smart, very smart. And not the regular glasses smart, but the kind of smarts that's learned. She's hip too, like a rhino.
OH, the #4 spot has been filled. And who owns the spot? None other than Melissa Martin. I think I first saw Melissa her freshman year at summer band camp. Robby would obsess about her through his nonstop talking of her. But it wasn't until the beginning of the school year until I got a taste of her. I ended up having Algebra II with her, David Glover, Brian Hull, and Mr. Peterson. I think it was her all in one package deal that attracted me to her. She's not so much the best at one thing, but she truly is a package deal. This being said, the old saying is true, "Good things DO come in small packages."
El agujero del número tres ha sido llenado por la Maria hermosa Sanchez. Maria es el mayor más bonito que conozco. Significo, yo sé que Chris es su novio, solamente yo tengo que comer un pedazo de esa carne mejicana. Ella es tan irrisistable justo. A propósito, escribí todo el esto en español para probar mi amante para Maria.
Number 2 was a hard one to pick. It marks runner up. You know, it's like, "I didn't make number one, but I got number two." This one was actually the hardest to pick. Harder even than...the number one spot. This is why there is a 6 way tie between (takes deep breath) Alyssa Pierce, Angela Wragg, Cortney Wells, Heather Moore, Jennifer DUFF, and Robin Gaskill. I mean, to separate these girls would be like trying to keep women away from me, Sana Rouhani (long eerie silence). OK, so these girls all tied for the number two spot, what's the bid deal? Well, avid website reader, the thing is, these girls combine the qualities of the number one girl, continue reading to find out who she is.
Before I go on and end this roller coaster of a web page, let me say that this number one girl is not just my number one girl, but should be every other guys number one girl. She's not just the stereotypical girl of, tall, pretty, great smile, etc., she's more of a man's woman. I mean, she's the all around great girl. Indescribable. She's like that feeling you feel when you see a little cute puppy, or baby. Or even when you get up in the morning, and hop in the shower, that's Kathryn. She's just so contagious. Like a disease. Disease=Kathryn. I don't know, like when you want someone to cheer you up, you can talk to her. You don't even have to talk to her in a way that she's supposed to cheer you up, just the fact she's always smiling, and happy. I think if I saw Kathryn crying, I'd be flushed with this angry weird feeling, but then I'd just go over there and hug her or something. And maybe Kathryn isn't the right girl for everyone but, all guys need to have a Kathryn equivalent on their Top Ten Most Desirable Women of SGP.