Anyhow, back to mundane things regarding the site. Not that this site is all that mundane since I'm getting a funky collection of profiles. That's right, for some reason the Profiles are becoming somewhat of a success within my small circle of associates and many people are wanting a profile. Not all, though. I had to talk Mel into a bit, but after she actually checked out the Profiles she was down with it, so that's cool. Everyone else on there didn't require much persuasion, so that's awesome. As for Mr. Jon, however...he's resisting quite a bit. I didn't try to convince him too much, but Mr. Ming has been leading that crusade. Apparently Mr. Jon doesn't want to leave a trail all over the world or something ghetto like that. I dunno what the hell that means, but it sounds pretty dumb to me. Mr. Jon, if you're reading this, you should realize that you're already leaving a trail over the world. Besides, I only use last names when I'm giving credit for a piece of work/wisdom/whatever. A profile isn't gonna make your trail any more visible at this point. It ain't like I'm using pictures in them. Speaking of which, there is that Games Day picture...even though your face is covered up. Ah well, that's my two cents. If Mr. Jon really doesn't want a profile, I can't really make him have one. Well, I could...but then he'd probably stop visiting my site and probably get pissed at me, so I won't.
He who breaks the law goes back to the House of Pain! I'm not sure what exactly goes on there, really. I'm assuming it's a bunch of delinquant irish guys rapping or something about how they "took the punk's ho" and jumped around and stuff. Which I guess isn't really a bad thing to rap about. Anyhow, I've updated the page a bit over the past two or three days. As promised in the previous update, I added the stories to the site that evening and then the Gathered Wisdom yesterday. Today I haven't done much except add a bit more to the Wisdom page. I thought of another bit of Wisdom to add earlier, but I'll be damned if I can remember it now. It wasn't mine, though, so I hope if I can remember either who said it or what exactly it was, I'll be able to recall the other part. And then add it. 'Cuz that would be good. Yeah, I also got my first legal profile up that's not me. So you can go check out Aaron. Sorry ladies, he ain't single...and if any of ya go and try to kill Jo so he will be single, I'm gonna have to get pissed at you cuz Jo is the first girlfriend he's had that I actually get along with. Last thing I need is for my guitarist to get hooked up with Yoko Ono again.
Anyhow, I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about something that's been bothering me lately. Well, I guess I'm not really talking about it...it's more like writing/typing about it. Anyways, I'd like to talk about pedestrians. Over the past couple days I've had some pretty crappy experiences involving these bastards that think just because they're too frickin' young/poor/old/healthy/homosexual/whatever to drive a goddamned automobile that the road belongs to them. What the fuck are they thinking?? Roads are for cars, you morons! Stop walking on the damned road! You have perfectly good sideWALKS to be WALKing on yet you dumbasses choose to walk on the road getting in the way of cars. You don't see us driving on the sidewalks (this statement excludes my brother who we won't get into at this time). I mean really, what are these bastard pedestrians thinking (yeah, I know I've already asked this, I'm reiterating it damn it!) Here's something you shitbrains should think about: a car is much bigger than you and made of metal. If a car strikes you you are likely to die or be horribly injured. So fucking what if you can sue? All the money in the world ain't gonna do you a whole fuckuvalotta good if you're dead, dammit! STAY OFF THE ROAD!!
Now, I know sometimes that it's not completely possible to stay off the road, and city planners and officials have realized this as well. That's why they have crosswalks. Use them. This brings me to my first experience. So I was on my way to BioSci (for those of you who don't know what that is...tough) when this old dude starts walking out onto the road in front of me with no friggin' crosswalk there. There was a perfectly good crosswalk thirty metres down the road, which shouldn't be too far for an old dude out on his own in the world. So, being the polite guy I am, I swerve to make sure I DON'T kill him, yet he gets pissed off at me anyhow and starts yelling shit at me. What the fuck is that? He's the one jay walking, I go out of my way to not kill him and he's the one upset? What an ass. Here's the deal, I don't give a shit if you jay-walk...everyone breaks the law sometime. But when you're walking where you're not supposed to be on a road and you almost get your ass killed by on-coming traffic then IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT, DIPSHIT!! If anything, I should be the one getting pissed because now I have to break the law and swerve into the other lane to not kill your worthless ass. That's pretty fucking rude if you ask me...which you didn't...
The other incident involved another pedestrian who happened to be on the sidewalk this time (which is perfectly fine, it's where the kid was supposed to be), but it was the sidewalk that cuts across my driveway as I was trying to pull in. Now she was there first, walking along, talking to her school girl friends as they do (I'm guessing that's what they do, I never was a school girl and never really looked at girls her age since I wasn't that interested when I was that young and it's illegal and gross now) when she stops and just stares at me...standing right in my...when I'm trying to get my damn car in the driveway. What the fuck is that all about? What's so freakin' fascinating about a car that's about to run her ass over that she has to slow down and risk life and limb? The proper thing to do in these situations is...I dunno...KEEP WALKING!! To be honest, most kids are a whole lot smarter than adults when it comes to cars. Most kids seem to realize that a car is capable of killing you...too bad this stupid little kid didn't...I guess she's lucky that there was a bunch of witnesses around...that and it's a bad idea to commit "manslaughter" right in front of my house.
But yeah, the basic rule of NOT dying from your own stupidity under the wheels of a car is...DO NOT GET IN THEIR WAY! I can't stress this enough, especially with cyclists. If there's one thing that pisses me off more than pedestrians, it's cyclists. Now, I ain't talking about kids on bikes here. To be honest, kids are smart enough to stay the fuck off the road when they're biking. I've NEVER had a problem with a child cyclist. No, the idiots I'm bitching about here are the moron adult cyclists. You know who I'm talking about. Those bastards in their tight spandex showing off their chicken legs like they're hot shite. They drive right down the center of whatever fucking lane I'm in...and only on two lane roads (one going either way). They also tend to travel in packs...why I can't figure out because they're NEVER fucking talking to each other, so I don't see why the hell they need partners. And as they're travelling in packs, they see fit to ride two or three abreast across the damn road. And naturally, the only time these bastard packs are ever encountered is either on a solid line or when there's heavy traffic coming the other way, making it impossible to pass. WHAT THE HELL?? Do these assholes fucking realize what they're doing? Where I live (the hallowed grounds of M-Town), we have plenty of bike paths and places to go cycling. I know this because I walk places (note: I am NOT a pedestrian, I do NOT walk on the road because I am NOT a total dickhead). And I notice at these parks that they have nice little signs that read: "No motorized vehicles allowed" under penalty of torture or some ghetto punishment. Now what the hell is that? So these asshole pedestrians and cyclists can waste our valuable time and patience using roads made for cars/trucks/buses/etc. yet they're not willing to fucking share the places designed specifically for them? What kind of ghetto ass deal is that? This is a fucking injustice and I think I'm gonna go write an angry letter to Bruce Springstein...
Yes, the page of news is here. On this date in history I have commenced work upon my webpage. With it, I intend to benefit mankind, solve global hunger, and bring about world peace. While some may see these aspirations as great and noble, I feel I must warn you that I fail miserably at almost everything I set out to do.
So let's stick to the simplicity of dealing with the news on my page (because I know you're all on the edge of your seats with anticipation) as well as me ranting about anything and everything that may come to annoy me...because I've noticed a distinct lack of webpages that do that. That's right, I've jumped on the "another loser with a website who thinks people give a damn about his opinion" bandwagon. How many goddamn websites are out there where some yutz who thinks people might actually give a shite about what he has to complain about must we sift through before we find that gem of entertainment our insomniac minds so desperately seek?
Y'know, I dunno what I'm even bitching about any more. All's I know is that I'm gonna throw my useless opinion into the heap of innane, jaded banter peddled throughout the silken strands of cyberspace at the expense of our own free thought and decency. Man, at this point, I could really use some decency.
Now I know what you're not asking yourself, and that's "So how did Tim put all this together?" Well, you see, it's quite simple actually. As indicated on the main page, I am simply no good at making any respectable websites because my knowledge of html and good taste is almost nil. This being the case, I scraped together what bit of skills I have in an effort to hide my n00bidity. I figured if I kept playing around with the colours, I could make it look like I have some idea how to do something. I've succeeded in producing a bunch of crazy pastel shades that I'm not sure if I even like...but they're better than many of the piss colours I produced through trial and error. I also threw in that funky scroll bar at the side of your screen. "How did he do that?" you might ask (unless you're Mr. Andy or someone else whose knowledge in this area makes mine seem less than insignificant). The answer is "I have no damn clue!" I'll be damned if I know how any of this stuff works, but some kind people whose names I cannot remember had sent me the codes for some of the less sad features of the site, so if you see something you like then it sure as hell wasn't done by me. This excludes the stories, of course. My ego refuses to let me feel too much pride for anything, but people have expressed that they like those whacky tales of fiction and I'm rather partial to them myself...that's why I wrote them, dammit!
Suffice it to say, I'll be updating the page and the news as I go along. I can't guarentee anything entertaining since I have no friggin' clue what entertains anyone these days (aside from myself...give me an empty box and I'm good for hours), but I suggest coming back and checking this place out for the hell of it. My future plans include:
Well, I suppose that's quite enough for one update. Enjoy!
- Actually getting the freakin' stories on here. They're the primary reason I made this forsaken site and I ain't even checked to see where they are. I think they're on the comp I do all my novel writing on, so I'd best to check there first. They should be up sometime this evening if all goes according to plan.
- Adding a Gathered Wisdom section. This had been a project I had hoped to put on my last generic webpage, but never really got around to it. Assuming I can find the file, it'll go up right after the stories. Otherwise, I may have to take some time and actually think up some more bits of useless wisdom before completing this aspect of the site.
- Tricking people I know into allowing me to profile them on the site. I already asked one person, but she indicated that she did not want to be on this site in any way at all...even though I'm referring to her vaguely now...but I'm assuming she'll forgive me. Anyhow, I'm hoping Mr. Ming and Mr. Jon will at least allow me to profile them since they're the costars of our first misadventure at Games Day. If they, and other people I know from random walks of life, really don't want to be there, then I'll have to make up fictitious people. And that would suck. Because I know these profiles are a dumb idea to begin with, but I'm hoping I can work out a way to make them entertaining. In light of this, I figure I'll need to add more interesting fields in the profiles. Ah well, they can adapt over time just fine.
- Finding more pictures to put on. At this point, I really don't know which direction to go in with the pictures. So far I've just put up the Games Day pictures because they're nice and easy to make fun of as well as some Warhammer 40k pictures I had lying around. I could just scour the web looking for damn funny pictures and the like, but then I feel like I'd be ripping off that starterupsteve.com site. Man, I love that site.
- Speaking of starterupsteve, I intend to add a Links section so that all may know and follow the paths which I deem to be worthwhile.