Dan's Birthday, 2003

So there we were, a few days before Christmas and everybody was brimming with anticipation towards getting their own presents. We were so happy and elated that we decided to celebrate by jumping The Stick's own Mr. Dan, wrapping him in shrink wrap, then parading him around Canada's largest suburb. Then someone mentioned that it was his birthday, so went with that angle. And this is our story (until I can convince Jon to send me any pics he might have taken at the mall).
 
Moments after we apprehended the not-so-dangerous target. As you can see, he's far too happy from the laughing gas we neglected to use on him. That is myself in the black (for a change of pace) and Mr. Jon underneath some nylon, making this perhaps the best pic in the series.
 
Mr. Jere decided that Roxeanne needed some gas. Sure, we could have just gotten out and pumped it ourselves, but we're lazy and rather inept at this whole kidnapping thing, so we made Dan do it.
 
We're not barbarians. Even kidnapped victims deserve to stop for coffee and have notorized pictures taken of them and an idiot kidnapper who thought it wise to take his mask off (yay me!)

This is where the price of gas angered me and forced me to pour Dan's scalding hot coffee all over him. Maybe he didn't have anything to do with gas being 64.4 cents per litre. Maybe he didn't do anything to get kidnapped in the first place. I'm not a legal counsellor, I don't know. But I'll tell you what didn't get him into this predicament: smoking.

This is an action shot of us outside Claire's... no idea what Jere and I are trying to do.

Once inside Claire's we thought it a good idea to see if we should accessorize Dan to prepare him for his visit with Santa. It turns out that no, no it wasn't. The manager at this store was a real biatch, too. She grew angry and said something about bothering her customers, though it was only her and a couple of her employees in the store at the time. Maybe we should do something special for her birthday...

I must say the lady at the stag shop was much more friendly about our shenanigans than the Claire's bitch. We thought for sure this would be the place the fancy little sign we made for Dan would pay off and someone would give him a birthday kiss, but that mannequin wasn't having it. She started saying something about it being cheating on her boyfriend or something. The others didn't seem to notice the mannequin explaining this to me and I later passed it off on the possibility that I had an incredibly high fever that day and had been hallucinating. In fact, I was convinced that was at least the third time we had gone through the process of kidnapping Dan.

After a long hard day of being kidnapped it's nice to prop your feet up and think about having a nice can of ginger ale. It doesn't mean you're gonna get it, Dan!