"The D.D."
The policeman sits up in his cruiser, in his favourite hiding spot next to the bar; At 2:30 am, the bar closes, and people start coming out. The cop notices one poor drunk fellow, who stumbles into the parking lot, and thinks, "I've gotcha, buddy!" As people keep leaving, this poor guy trips and falls, dropping his keys. He searches for his keys for about 10 minutes, ambling around in a daze as still more people are driving off. Finding his keys, he then tumbles into the nearest car, and tries to open the hood with his key. Unsuccessful but undaunted, he tries this on four other cars, at last finding his own. After many tries, he finally gets the door open, and collapses into driver's seat, and passes out for 30 seconds, and turns the car on as the last remaining customer drives off. He then puts the car in drive, and goes no further than two feet, and the cop is on him! After submitting to a breathalyzer test, and comming up zero, the cop asks, "I saw you stumbling, snot-slinging drunk! How are you coming up sober?" The man replied, "I was the D.D. - Designated Decoy."