"Ponn Farr?" Seven stated with a raised brow. "The Lieutenant is of Klingon and Human parentage. Ponn Farr is not a condition particular to either species."
Seven sat in the Doctors small office looking skeptically at the Doctor and Captain. Her head swiveled back and forth between the two uncomfortable officers as she tried to gauge their sanity.
"No it isn’t, normally. However Ensign Vorik is of Vulcan heritage and at one time he attempted to initiate a bonding with Lieutenant Torres while under the influence of his Ponn Farr." The doctor replied with a superior air. "He was able to mind-meld with her for a brief time which caused her to experience similar symptoms. We were able to prevent that particular bonding. However the Lieutenant has enough similarities in her biology to have retained many of the characteristics related to Ponn Farr. Unfortunately, that means that she will enter a state similar to Ponn Farr at certain intervals. Since the failed attempt to mate was almost three years ago, I assume that this and all subsequent episode of this behavior will occur every three years."
"What the doctor is trying to explain is that B’Elanna is going through a Klingon version of Ponn Farr." Kathryn Janeway said gently, as she let her hand rest on the ex-drones arm.
Before she could say more the doctor interrupted. "Exactly. B’Elanna is more aggressive than normal right now because she’s...." here the doctor faltered groping for an appropriate word.
"As horny as a Targh in heat." Seven supplied helpfully.
The doctor quickly reached over and pounded Janeway as the older woman suddenly began to choke.
"Crude but apt." the EMH conceded once Janeway had stopped choking.
"How long will these symptoms persist?" Seven questioned calmly.
"It’s different for each individual. We also have to consider that there is an almost complete lack of information on Klingons effected by Ponn Farr. Then there is the fact that the Lieutenant is also half human. Females react differently to Ponn Farr. There are also..." At the twin glares he received from both women, the EMH cut short what promised to be a lecture of Herculean proportions. "Anywhere from three days to a week." he mumbled.
"And the treatment?" Seven asked, as both the EMH and Captain shifted uncomfortably once again.
"When she was under the effects of Ponn Farr the last time, she was able to purge it from her system by fighting ensign Vorik. Tuvok explained later that the act of conflict as much as the physical effects of beating Vorik brought it to resolution." Janeway explained.
Again the Captain and EMH exchanged glances putting Seven instantly on her guard. "And what is the other option?" she asked.
"She needs to ahhh...." Janeway began delicately while giving the EMH a look that screamed ‘help’.
The doctor took up the gauntlet with, "Well, yes, if she.... ahh... well if..."
"She needs to get laid?" Seven asked incredulously, as both the Captain and EMH turned scarlet.
"Yes." both squeaked as they tried to regain their lost composure.
"You called me here using an emergency signal to tell me that B’Elanna is suffering the effects of Ponn Farr and the safest cure is to fuck her brains out???" Seven asked incredulously.
Janeway and the EMH could only nod mutely.
"I was already doing that." Seven responded tersely as she stood.
Pulling the almost sheer robe tighter around herself, she strode to the door of the doctors office. Turning she cast a disdainful look at the two who could only manage a stunned look in return. "If you will excuse me I shall now return to my wife. We will resume our normal duties when the Ponn Farr has been successfully purged from her system."
Leaving the Captain and EMH to pick up their dropped jaws Seven calmly turned and left for the quarters she shared with her wife B’Elanna.