Interests: not spending time with my girlfriend, colin's funny bum (it's funny), megan brady, my friend derek and his fascination with the previous, drawing portraits of penises on people's bums, masturbation biangles with colin, pleasing colin's woman 25.5 hours a day, hating RTD, not going to Killington to piss Denby off, Pitbull and Denby, 53 secs the land speed record, people who jerk off while walking home at 3 in the morning, people who jerk off while driving a car and then call me right afterwards, people who jerk off in planes bathrooms, jerking off in general, S Club 7, and viking speed metal.

Dislikes: Liking RTD, spending time with my girlfriend (just kidding Jana, I'm sorry), andrew, people who take pictures of themselves eating someone's poo and putting it on a website, the taste of poo, colin going after my sister, pleasing colin's woman 25.5 hours a day, my sister going after colin, peeing while I have a urinary infection, not seeing derek's mom's jugs, derek's dad using other people's towels to dry off his choda, Nick's gigantic head, the music hallway, the executioner, TAP and the bird man, not jerking off, andrew again, getting hit in the head by a beer can, Matt Hyland, and hardcore.

Quote: "Sweet Sassy Molassy" and "Plinkety Plonkety Plank"