THE END-ALL OF ITALIAN TYRANNY!

Part One

"I think Italians are dumb, fat, and cook bad food."

-Dave Goldman

It was on that fateful day that Paul Francis Mancini was finally shut-up. After years and years of his Italian tyrrany, an angry Jew by the name of Dave "Disco Jew" Goldman, and his sidekick an angry Polish woman from Germany, Antonia "Woman" Kokoska finally said, "Enough's enough!"

It was half way through their junior year when the mighty Brother Ron finally realized that he was a cranky old man, and needed to quit his day job, and become a gardener for his favorite movie star, Glen Close. This was, of course, unexpected, and the Saint John's Preparatory School organization needed the students to direct themselves in their drama fest production of "Guys and Dolls 2: the revenge of the Hot Box girls."

Well, of course, it would be impossible to direct it themselves, and they needed to choose a leader. By the democratic system of "rocks, paper, scissors", Paul was chosen to be the leader and director of this historically significant play.

For the most part, the play went off without a hitch, except for one freak accident when Andre Fryar killed himself when a 1995 Ford Taurus smashed into him as he was attempting to catch a frisbee in the parking lot: a Kroo tradition (oops!). But the play was looking good, and it actually made it past the preliminary round. But then, things got ugly...

Paul decided to use his power for money, sexual favors, and Right Guard deodorant -- clear stick, not clear gel. Come on, anything less would be uncivilized! -- Anyway, Dave Goldman, who was in the male chorus, and Antonia Kokoska, now filling in for the departed Kathryn Flynn as Adelaide decided that they needed to put an end to this Italian rule.

Paul, realizing that he was in trouble, teamed up with buddy, and Italian counterpart, Dan "The Music Man" Ingala. Dan was smart, fierce, and above all, he could play the music to almost any video game on his keyboard. The Italian Duo made a perfect match for their inter-gendered, inter-faith, inter-galactic planatary opponents.

It was a long, fierce battle. Paul used his "Connoli Kick" on Dave, but Antonia lashed back with her "Actress Smack..tress". Dan took her out with his famous "John Lennon style 1-2-3 punch". Dave, coming back from unconsiousness, used his "Rabbinical backhand" to finish the Music Man off. It lasted hours, but finally, the Jew-Gentile non-Italian duo finished standing.

From then on, the two ruled side by side and made sure Italian corruption wouldn't strike again!

Well, there you have it. Hope you guys enjoyed that! And stay tuned to find out what happens when....Steve Da Goth and the Irish Republican Army take their turn!!!