Arminda's Birth Story

This poem describes my feelings perfectly. I found it on another brave women's site, visit her pages and read about her precious children.

For some reason, I absolutely do not remember the moment I found out I was pregnant with Arminda. I am assuming that I took a home pregnancy test, but I really couldn't tell you for sure.

After the loss of Quinn and Gavin, the news of my pregnancy for Arminda was both exciting and absolutely terrifying. We wanted another child so badly, but we were scared of losing another baby. We decided we were going to keep the news of this pregnancy to ourselves for awhile. To me, it was almost as if not telling anyone would help protect the pregnancy. Irritaional, yes, but as I have said before, pregnant women don't always follow traditional logic. We did however, tell Corey. So, as you might assume, we only kept the news to ourselves for about a week!

Before we had told our family, my sister-in-law, Pam, found out that she was pregnant. I had never been pregnant unless Pam was too. Corey and her daughter, Melanie, were born 11 weeks apart, Quinn and her daughter Erin, were due at the same time, and she lost a baby that would have been the same age as Gavin several weeks after Gavin died. Not to leave anyone out, she also has an older daughter, Corina(who has a baby, Bradlee) and a son, Joshua, born between Melanie and Erin. It seemed fitting that we would be pregnant together again. I couldn't resist telling her that I was expecting too.

About a week after I found out I was pregnant, on a Friday, I started spotting. Just like with Quinn and Gavin. I was devestated. I knew that I was losing yet another baby. I must have called my midwife, but I didn't go in for a check up until Monday. A good friend of mine, Julie, was having a baby shower that weekend, I considered not going, but decided I could handle it. I had told my mother that I was pregnant and that I was spotting, but no one besides our family knew. The shower went well, until another friend of mine, Debbie, told Julie to hold onto the Pooh diaper bag for her, because she would be needing it soon. I asked her if she was pregnant, and she replied that yes, she was due May 12. That was two days before my due date of the 14th. I somehow held it together, but I was just dying inside.

Monday, I went to my midwife, I was still bleeding. She found nothing wrong, and tried to assure me, but I told her that we both knew what this meant. She then sent us for an ultrasound and some bloodwork. I was very depressed at this point. I knew that I was going to hear them tell me once again that my baby was dead. When the technician came in and turned on the machine, I could hardly bare to look at the screen. But, then, she pointed out our healthy little baby! She did not see anything wrong on the ultrasound. We were so happy we cried!

On Friday, I picked up my niece Melanie to take to the store with me. We were at my house getting ready to go when the nurse from the midwife's called. She told me that they had my bloodwork back and that my Progestrone levels were low. She told me that I would need to come in for Progestrone shots. I asked when I should come, thinking that she would say Monday. I was surprised and scared when she answered " RIGHT NOW!" She told me that the doctor had looked at my results and given my previous history and the fact that my levels were extremely low, I had to go to the hospital and have the shots immediately. We had narrowly escaped losing our precious little Arminda. Shortly after talking to the nurse my mom called, because the nurse had called her desperately trying to find me.

I called Brian at work and told him what was happening. He insisted on meeting me at the hospital. Then Corey, Melanie and I got into our car and started driving to the hospital. As we were passing Melanie's house (they live on a corner) a car ran the stop sign and smashed into my car. All I could think was "my baby is dead, my baby is dead". We ended up in my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's front lawn. When the car stopped spinning, I looked back to make sure that Mel and Corey were ok. They were fine. Melanie unbuckled herself, and I think Corey, and they got out of the car. Then I put my head on the stearing wheel. I remember Kevin, my brother in law, yelling "Get out of the car! Get out of the car! Teresa open the door!" And he looked so scared. My door would not open. I finally came to my senses enough to slide over to the passenger side and get out. There was a man I didn't know standing beside my car, so I started screaming at him. He then told me that he was just there to help and then pointed to the guy who had hit me. I ran over to him and screamed "I am PREGNANT!!!! If my baby dies I am going to hunt you down and kill you!" And, at the time, I meant it with all of my heart. Kevin had to drag me away from the guy for fear of what I might do. The guy just put his hands up and said "back off lady, back off". JERK!

My sister-in-law, Pam called the ambulance and my mom. Before I knew what was happening, my sister was there. I fealt much better with her beside me. The ambulance also arrived quickly and I was taken to the hospital along with Corey who was complaining of stomach pains. I told them at the hospital that I was pregnant, and that I needed Progestrone shots. They told me that they didn't have any. That seemd highly unlikely to me. (this was the same hospital where I delivered Corey). Now, this part I am a little hazy on, but either my mom was already going to pick up the Progestrone from the pharmacy, or someone called her to ask her to, I don't remember. I do know that the pharmacist was a real jerk to her. I don't remember what happened exactly, I will have to ask her. So, my poor, mother was running all around trying to fill my prescription not knowing exactly how I was doing, or if the baby was still alive.

My mom got back with the Progestrone, and they gave me two giant shots. One in each hip. This stuff is THICK too, so it was rather painfull. After I started the shots, the bleeding stopped. My midwife said that Arminda was so small at this point that the accident probably had no effect on her. I was still scared though. I had to go in for shots for 13 weeks. As soon as the pain had gone away so that I could sit without too much discomfort, it was time to go in for another round! But, I would have taken those shots for the full pregnancy if it meant keeping my baby!

My midwife was very considerate during this pregnancy, she knew how scared I was, so she allowed me to come in every week to listen to the heart beat. That was extremely comforting. My midwife went on maternity leave in October, so I had some subsitutes. Most were extremely kind, especially Joanie. But one, the same one who told me when I asked if there was anything I could do about Quinn said "what, to prolong an inevitable miscarrieage?" asked why I was coming in so often. She didn't seem to understand even after the nurse (Sherri, by the way) and I explained it to her. But, I only saw her once. I usually saw Joanie, who was wonderful. Arminda was a very wiggly baby, so sometimes it took quite awhile to find the heartbeat, but Joanie never gave up on her. She patiently listened as long as it took to find the sound of her little hear beating.

I was extremely happy during this pregnancy, and when I started showing early I was absolutely delighted! I put away my regular clothes and joyously wore my maternity outfits. I loved how round my stomach was and how big it was growing. I had been buying maternity outfits for several years, so I had a bountiful supply. I became annoyed at people that claimed I was not very big. I would even correct them. My stomach was huge, and I absolutely loved it!

We had another ultrasound at about 20 weeks or so. I desperately wanted to find out I was having a girl, but wouldn't you know, she had her legs crossed and nothing the technician did could get her to move! I was extremely disapointed. I told my midwife (Susan was back from maternity leave) how much I had wanted to find out what we were having. She told me that she could do an ultrasound if I wanted her to. I was so happy, and we set up a time to meet at the hospital. We brought along my entire family! Mom, Dad, Heather. Susan turned on the ultrasound machine, and after some careful searching told us that we were most likely having a little girl!!!!!!!!!!!YIPPEEE!!!!!!! I was so excited! I wanted to have a little girl so badly!

We decided, with my midwife's support, to have a planned c-section this time. It was a personal choice, and one that I am happy we made. I could not bare the thought of going through another labor like I had had with Corey. The very thought of doing that again made me shiver in fear. But, the doctor tried his hardest to talk us out of it. When I explained that it was not just a physical but an emotional decission, he accepted it. We planned her delivery for 9:30AM on Friday, May 7th, which is also Brian's parents anniversary (and, I found out later it is my friend Julie, the one who had the shower at the beginning of the story, and her husband's anniversary too.)

At this time, my sister-in-law's baby had decided she was going to turn breach, so they scheduled a c-section for, can you guess? May 7th at 11:00AM! I was dispapointed because I would not be able to see Kelly (the baby, my neice) until I was out of the hospital.

On May 7th, at 5AM, just before my alarm was to go off, I received a phone call. It was Pam, telling me "Kelly is here!" That little stinker had decided to turn back around and come a couple of hours early, all on her own! I quickly took a shower and Brian and I stopped at the hospital to see her before going to the other hospital to have Arminda. We were the first ones from the family to see her. I was very excited then to get to our hospital and have Arminda.

Arminda's birth was so different than Corey's! The only bad thing was the catheter! Why can't they put that thing in AFTER you are numb? Everyone was there, Corey (we kept him home from school) my parents, brother, his wife and there two kids (Casey was born 6 months earlier), my sister, Brian's parents, our sister-in-law Tracy, was there too I believe! It was a joyous and kinda noisy bunch!

Brian was only apart from me for a short amount of time. It seemed like they had just started, and the next thing I knew I felt a tug, and then the doctor held up my beautiful baby girl! Boy were we happy to see that she was a girl, because we STILL hadn't decided on a boy's name! They brought her right over to me (and I was wearing my glasses this time!). I was crying I was so happy. She looked so big! I have to tell you though, she was not the prettiest baby. Corey was beautiful right from the start. I am a bit ashamed to admit that one of the first things I said to my (now absolutely beautiful) daughter was "I'm sorry honey, but your brother was a lot cuter than you" I was very happy though. Then they took her over to a little table, right next to me and cleaned her up. They thought she was going to need some extra oxygen, but then they changed their minds. They took me to the recovery room, and Brian stayed with Arminda. It was not much longer that they broght Arminda in with me, probably only a couple of minutes. Then our family came in to see her. Corey got to hold her right away. The first thing he said after seeing his baby sister was "Oh Mommy, Arminda is so cute!" I nursed Arminda for the first time right in the recovery room. It was a wonderful and joyous delivery!

When I saw my mother-in-law, I asked her if she had seen Kelly yet. She said, no, she wasn't being delivered until 11. So, I told her that she had come early and we had seen her before we came up. I guess they had already left to come up to the hospital before Pam and Kevin could call them.

My recovery was a little more painful than with Corey, but it wasn't bad, much easier than Corey's labor! This hospital stay no one pressured me to give Arminda formula, and they actually had a lactation consultant in the hospital! Wow, a hospital actually encouraging breastfeeding?? Cany you believe it?!

Arminda is a wonderful child. She is everything I imagined and hoped a little girl would be. She is definetely a "girly girl". She loves Barbie's, horses and dressing up. She also has a lot of "attitude" and can sass with the best of them! I really believe that she was sent to us from Jehovah to help ease some of our pain. She is truly a gift.