Seth had huge plans tonight, and every little detail had to be perfect. If any one detail were wrong, it would ruin the magic following the events.
Seth was a lonely boy, about 5 foot 6 inches. He hardly ever washed is long blond hair. Hair that out-lined a very thin insecure face perfectly. Much like his facial structure, Seth’s body was thin , weak, and unstable. It looked as though he hadn’t eaten for days . Perhaps this is true . Seth hardly ever left his room , and was always elusive as to what it is he was doing .
He never liked sports , and was never very good at them . his passions were music art , and poetry . Many of the kids in school were intimidated by this . they never ever seemed to accept the fact that we can’t all be the same . But that’s usually the way it is in small towns . Due to Seth’s anti-social nature the kids in school began calling him man names , including ; freak , fag , loser , queer , dickless wonder , and other things of that nature . Though Seth had always said to him self that what those people think doesn’t bother him , deep down inside his heart it did .
“Fuck , I can’t find it” Seth though to himself He was looking for his Nine inch nails album , the Downward spiral . After a few minutes of throwing around the ever lessing number of cd’s on his floor , he finally found the one he was looking for . There was no mistaking the album for any other . The 13 teeth and salt trails set in front of the brown toned background one the cd , had for some reason made him queasy . After the unpleasant feeling passed , Seth got up from the floor and walked toward the closet doors .
The double doors that closed his closet from the rest of his room , were still in good condition . Except for the gum like substance left on the top of the left door from a bumper sticker he had put there many weeks ago that read “MARIJUANA , HEY AT LEAST IT’S NOT CRACK” his mom had removed this sticker from the door just two days ago . The gummy substance was still fresh . Seth reach up and touched it as a expression of disappointment appeared on his pale face . He opened the door , and pushed all his clothes that were on the hangers to the left . At the back of his closet was a L.A. Raiders jacket that his father had given to him when he was ten or so . Though he never wore the jacket , the pocket in front was rather large . He kept his personal possessions in there when he slept .
Seth unzipped the pocket , and reached in , knowing what he’d find right away . He pulled out of the pocket his black leather wallet , his cheep pipe witch contained the letters NIN engraved on it , his blue bic mini lighter , his pack of Kool brand cigarettes , his tiny brass pocket watch , and the small but useful stash of marijuana that he always kept just incase he needed to relax .
He quickly and carefully placed each item in his pants pockets one at a time . Seth took a quick peek at his watch . The time was 4:15 p.m. The events he had planned would soon begin . He put the watch back into his pocket , and precede to the rather large shed in the backyard .
The shed was in decent condition , but it badly needed a new paint job . Which he promised his mother he would get to tomorrow . As Seth climbed the old cricket wooden stairs to the shed his mind was static . All he could focus on was the task at hand .
Seth opened the door to the shed to reveal nasty blue carpeting which was decorated with spilt beer , cigarette burns , and the occasional resin stain as well . Across from the massive heavy doors was a large green plaid couch . His mother had gotten it before he was born . It was nearly 20 years old , and still in great condition . His mother had always said that Ethan Allen furniture was the best , and after 12 moves and 3 kids , Seth supposed she was right . To the Left of the couch was a makeshift end table that Seth had made using cinder blocks , and pieces of left over wood from the carpentry projects his mother always seemed to be doing . On top of the table sat a stereo that he had acquired during his time in Germany . It was a birthday gift from his mother . He dearly loved his stereo next to his guitar it was his most prized possession .
The first thing Seth did , as he entered the shed , was put the downward-spiral into the cd player on his stereo . Cracking of a whip , and a gagged voice groaned . Mr. Self-destruct had begun . For a moment Seth only stood there staring off into space and thinking of nothing . After a few moments Seth had been cast out of his daze . He shook his head , and sat down on the couch that so many had sat on before . He put his hand into his right pocket . He removed “Mr. . Self-destruct” His pipe with the letters NIN engraved on it , and his small sack of marijuana . He raised the bag of budz to his face , and took a long deep breath . The smell was wonderful . It’s fragrance was that of marijuana , and blueberries . The name of the strain was blueberry . It tasted much like it smelled , and had a slight blue tint to it . He loved the way it smelled . In fact the only thing he loved more was what happened after you smoked a bowl or two .
“Hey pig piggy pig pig pig” The track had changed from the noisy ultra violent “Mr. Self-destruct” into the calm mellow anthem for the confused and disenchanted “piggy.” The chorus for this song expressed how Seth had felt for along time now , in a simple short sentence . “Nothing can stop me now , cause I don’t care anymore” He couldn’t even count the number of nights he spent lying sleepless in bed quietly chanting this line over and over again till he fell asleep .
Seth had already packed the bowl , and was now reaching for his blue lighter . “click click” only sparks emitted from the lighter . Frustrated , He tried again , and this time a flame shot out . Quickly Seth moved it over the waiting bowl . He took drag after drag off of the pipe , and didn’t stop till the bowl , and the bag were both empty .
Seth had no idea How much time had passed . He was to high to fumble threw his pockets and look at his watch . he knew it had been awhile seeing as the downward-spiral was now beginning to quietly flow from the speakers . It was time , this is the song he had been waiting for all day . He lightly pushed the repeat button on the stereo , and got up from the couch .
Seth lifted the couch cushions of the couch , and picked up the 12 gauge shotgun that lay below them .
“He put the gun to his head BANG!!!!” the stereo screamed , just as the trigger was pulled .
It was a lifetime of fucking things up fixed in one determined flash.
