How come you never see straight edge kids on commercials? Because they always choose brand X!
How many politically correct people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They don't screw, they "rotate and insert".
How many members of Earth Crisis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They destroy the machines and use candles.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5. One to do it, one to form a band about it, one to write a poem about his loss, one to cry to his girlfriend about it, and one to start a zine about it.
How many hitmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to do it and one to kill the emo kids from the previous joke.
How many straight edge kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can already see clearly.
Why do straight edge kids always wear backpacks? For padding when their friends stab them in the back.
How many crusty kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to do it and one to spare change for it.
How many vegans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but she has to read all of the ingredients first.
Have you heard about that new pirate movie that's coming out? It's rated ARRRGGGHHHH!
What do pirates make? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to climb the giraffe and the other to fill the melting bathtub with rusty powertools.
Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because PROPERTY (proper tea) is theft!