It's Great to be a .......
WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
2. Movie nudity is almost always female
3. You know stuff about tanks
4. A five day vacation requires only 1 suitcase
5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter
6. You can open all your own jars
7. Old friends don't give you crap if you've gained weight
8. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
9. All your orgasms are real
10. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex
11. You can go to the toilet without a support group
12. Your last name stays put
13. You can kill your own food
14. The garage is all yours
15. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
16. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow
17. Sex means never worrying about your reputation
18. You don't have to shave below your neck
19. You don't have to curl up to a hairy ass every night
20. Chocolate is just another snack
21. You get to think about sex 98% of the time
22. You can wear a white shirt to a water park
23. The world is your urinal
24. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
25. Same work ...more pay
26. Wedding dress $3,000 Tuxedo rental $100
27. Bachelor parties kick ass over bridal showers
28. Someday you get to be a dirty old man
29. You can write your name in the snow
30. Baywatch
31. Playboy
32. Penthouse
33. You never have to clean the toilet
34. Forplay is optional
35. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room
36. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing
37. People never glance at your chest when your talking to them
WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GIRL
1. You know stuff about everyone
2. You rarely have to carry your own suitcases
3. Your life expectancy is 20% longer
4. You won't starve without a can opener
5. Multiple orgasms
6. Male pattern baldness
7. Nobody secretly wonders how big your joystick is
8. You smell better....no matter what
9. Long nails make great weapons
10. It's O.K. for you to marry for money
11. Crying gets you anything
12. You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head
13. You have more hiding places on your body when crossing the border
14. You don't need a title to be in charge of everything
15. Free flowers
16. Revenge is your specialty
17. You have the unconditional right to call anyone a Bastard.. Anytime ..anywhere
18. Nobody will ever slap you for telling a dirty joke
19. You can whip men for money
20. You know that penis size really does matter
21. You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you
22. PMS means your right about anything.... Got a F$%^ing problem with that
23. You can admire another woman without your friends accusing you of being gay
24. Suing for sexual harassment
25. You know at least 20 ways to get a free dinner
26. Alimony
27. Short girls are "petite". Short guys are midgets
28. Your friends won't call you pussywhipped behind your back
29. You can "fake" anything
30. Someday you'll be a rich widow
31. You can get into a fenderbender and nobody questions your womanhood
32. You don't have to worry about catching any major organs in a zipper
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On to You Know You're a Redneck If........
