... and perhaps a fitting time to be reminded of this Arabian proverb:
A foolish man may be known
by six things:
Speech without profit,
Change without progress,
Inquiry without object,
Putting trust in a stranger,
Mistaking foes for friends.
Married men live longer
than single men do,
but married men
are a lot more willing to die.
|* Ratio of an igloo's
circumference to its diameter
|= Eskimo Pi|
|* 2000 pounds of Chinese soup||= Won ton|
|* 1 millionth of a mouthwash||= 1 microscope|
|* Time between slipping on a peel
and smacking the pavement
|* Time it takes to sail 220 yards
at 1 nautical mile per hour
|* 365.25 days of drinking
|= 1 lite year|
|* 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone||= 1 Rod Serling|
|* Half of a large intestine||= 1 semicolon|
|* 1000 aches||= 1 kilohurtz|
|* Basic unit of laryngitis||= 1 hoarsepower|
|* 453.6 graham crackers||= 1 pound cake|
|* 1 million microphones||= 1 megaphone|
|* 1 million bicycles||= 2 megacycles|
|* 10 cards||= 1 decacards|
|* 1 kilogram of falling figs||= 1 Fig Newton|
A grandmother was pushing her grandchild around Wal-Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here's something for you, Diploma," or, "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma," and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who'd heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to college and this is what she came home with!"
LIFE LESS NESS..!!!!!
Our communication - Wireless
Our business - Cashless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our religion - Creedless
Our food - Fatless
Our faith - Godless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relations - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our commitment - Aimless
Our life - Meaningless
Our bosses - Hopeless
Our Salary - Very less !!!!!
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
| You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
|At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"|
"Yes, I am," she replied. "I married the wrong man."
|A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
|A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.|
|A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
|A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"|
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
|Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."||Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.|
|If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.||Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.|
|First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
I pray for Wisdom to understand a man,
to love and to forgive him,
and for Patience, for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll just beat him to death.
BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
have a little fun
|And that's all
It is owned and maintained
a.k.a. Auntie Mame