*Pamela*Anderson*Lee*

   Forget the big hair, lined lips and kinky Malibu Barbie outfits. The Pamela who greets us in the garage playroom of her Hollywood Hills home is freshly scrubbed and dressed in simple white loungewear. She fusses over her two sons, Brandon Thomas, two and a half, and Dylan Jagger, one. "When I'm with my children, it's like men are not even present," she explains. "That's a big thing with me, that someone can appreciate and understand and love me as a mom instead of being threatened by it."
   "Motherhood," Pamela says, "is the most feminine you can be. It's empowering. When I gave birth with a midwife at home, I felt like, I am woman." And there was another perk: "The most sexual time in my life was when I was pregnant. After a few months, there were no sharp corners on any piece of furniture."
   Pamela takes us on a tour of her new house. In each of her boys' rooms is a giant Paddington bear, birth gifts from Hef. In her boudoir, there's an enormous and sumptuous bed, soft as a cloud. Beyond it lies a marble tub set into a bay window; as she soaks in it, Pamela can survey most of the San Fernando Valley. Downstairs, she shows us the kitchen. There's a selection of herbal brews on the counter. She chooses the Lover's Tea for us. "Let's see how this works," she says. We spy another variety: Pregnancy Tea. She catches out glance and giggles. "That's not how you get me pregnant."
   We sit on a sofa in her den. (Her current beau, five-time world surfing champion and Baywatch alumnus Kelly Slater, has gone golfing.) After a hard, public year in which her marriage to Mötley Crüe's Tommy Lee foundered and their honeymoon home movie was released on video, Pamela is remarkably calm and composed.
   She rolls her eyes when I mention the tape. "I'm so over that," she says. "I mean, I'm fighting it with lawyers, but it's a bottomless pit. What really sucks is that it's our personal life. lt makes me afraid to take pictures, make scrapbooks, shoot videos of my children. Nothing's sacred. Every once in a while I catch myself thinking, What if my mammogram ends up on the front page of the Enquirer? Which is just stupid."
   Not that she has anything against racy material. She admits she has rented adult videos. "I've seen more in hotels and on Playboy TV. It's kind of fun to watch once in a while."
   On the subject of her marriage, she is sadder but wiser. "A lot of my friends' parents were alcoholics who abused them," she tells me. "I thought all relationships were abusive. I really haven't been in happy relationships. I'm trying to learn to be friends with someone and care about him instead of trying to hold on to something so intense."
   "Tommy and I were like this," she says, crossing her fingers. "Inseparable. It's exactly what I asked for. And I don't blame him for everything. I think it's what we thought true love was. But when you really love somebody, sometimes you just have to leave and let him find his way. It's hard. You're the one who gets abused, and then you're the one who has to be strong enough to stay away. You can't constantly be the rescuer." She sighs. "It's so much easier to get married than divorced."
She smiles shyly at me. And in this moment of candor and vulnerability, her ocean-colored eyes, freckled button nose, full pink lips and gleaming white teeth have never looked more natural or beautiful. The smile widens to a flirtatious grin. "This has to be the classic PLAYBOY interview" she announces. "It's got to be funny. It's got to be kooky." Yes, ma'am.

You were born on July 1, which according to The Book of Birthdays is "The Day of Emancipation." Care to discuss?
"I used to be really shy and modest. Then I started working out heavily because I thought if I competed in a bodybuilding championship maybe I'd get over my shyness. I always thought there was a barrier for me to cross, to be myself. And when I did PLAYBOY the first time, that was it. lt was just like playing a character, and it felt good to do that instead of hiding."

Do you remember the first time you saw PLAYBOY?
"I saw an old one of Dad's and thought it was beautiful. Then I had a boyfriend who was a photographer and he had a bunch of them. When someone came up to me and said I should be in PLAYBoy he said, "Absolutely not." And I said, "That's kind of weird. You think they're so great but I'm not allowed to be in one?"

What was your favorite shoot for PLAYBOY?
"The one I did in St.-Tropez in 1994. I was single. lt was totally me, free and having fun. In my Bardot mood. Every one I've done since I've felt a little guilt. I even did one shoot when I was married that Hef decided not to run because he said I looked unhappy. We have a great relationship. He's like a dad to me."

I hear you almost got busted doing your 1992 PLAYBOY shoot.
"We were shooting on Route 66 in Arizona and the police were going to arrest me for indecent exposure. I had on a sheer dress and I think one nipple was sticking out. I said, "You can't arrest tue for a nipple." But a female officer read tue my rights and took tue to the station. I had to write a letter of apology to this Baptist minister who was living on the road where we were shooting."

Have you ever been to a strip club?
"Lots. The guys I go with always think I'll feel uncomfortable, but they end up getting mad because I get to go backstage and hang out with the girls and I'm the one who gets the lap dances. There was one girl who said, "My stage name is Pamela because everyone says I look like you and I'm so flattered" while she's rubbing her boobs in my face. And I was giving her tips: "Well, if you're going to be me, you have to part your hair to the other side and cut your bangs."

Did you ever imagine that you would become an international sex symbol?
"No way. That was so unlike me. I was so not vain. If my hair got in the way, I'd cut it off. I never wore makeup. It's funny that I now do what I do. I'm a drag queen. I love playing dress-up."

Do you remember the first boy who paid attention to you?
"I had two boyfriends, Matthew and Kenny, when I was five. I used to kiss Matthew, and that would make Kenny punch him. Then I'd kiss Kenny so they'd fight again."

"When was your first serious kiss?
In fifth grade. I hated it and wondered what everyone was talking about, because this guy jammed his tongue so far down my throat. I avoided kissing people for a long time after that."

What happened when you looked in the mirror and realized you were becoming a woman?
"I went completely nuts as soon as started getting hips and curves. Even though I was shy, I was wearing dresses and going out with a bunch of different guys. But I didn't get my period until I was 18. I was always athletic. I was on four volleyball teams. I was a setter, because I'm a midget. Thank God I didn't play field hockey, because my girlfriends who did have banged-up shins and no teeth."

Have you ever had a woman come on to you?
"Oh, yeah. They're worse than men. I've had friends grab my leg and say, "I know you want me as much as 1 want you." There have been all sorts of opportunities to experiment, but I've never really had the desire. I'd sit around with a bunch of girlfriends telling stories and I'd always be like, "Wow, that's really cool." And then they'd come on to me and say, "Pamela, you totally led me on." But just because I listen doesn't mean I want to partake. I think women's bodies are really beautiful, but I prefer men's bodies. [Laughs] Penetration is good."

So if a guy really wants to impress you, what should he do?
"Besides penetration? it's the little things. A lot of men define themselves by the car they drive. I drive a Tahoe. A family vehicle. It says I'm a mom."

Which would you prefer: flowers or candy?
"Both: Roses and organic chocolate."

Tight jeans or Dockers?
"Dockers. Not too baggy, though. I'm not into the supertight-jeans thing. You can't tell much from that anyway. The guy might just have big balls. All potatoes and no meat."

Taller or shorter than you?
"Taller, but not too much. You fit together better, standing up and lying down. It's more cuddly."

Older or younger?
"In spirit or in years? Kelly is younger than me, but he's much older in his soul than a lot of people who are older than me."

White collar or blue collar?
"Blue. I'm not into executive types. I don't want to be with anyone for financial reasons. I have my own money. I prefer to be with someone who can look after himself, though. I have enough people to look after."

Muscles or lean?
"I don't like really big guys, but a little muscle is good."

Hairy or smooth?
"Smooth. I don't mind a little stubble on the chin. That works on different parts of the body. It's a good exfoliant."

Sweaty or showered?
"I like taking lots of showers and baths. And he has to be there with me. It's a group effort: saving water."

Boxers or briefs?
"The kind that are in between, the long brief I wear those all the time. I wear briefs, too, butjust around the house."

Have you ever made a man wear your underwear?
"Oh yeah. And bikinis and dresses. I just say, "Put this on and I'll take pic- tures." It shows he has a sense of humor, which is sexy. I'd have to stop Tommy from going down to the card tables in Vegas in my dresses. They were a little too short for him, if you know what I mean."

What can men do to make their bedrooms more appealing to women?
"Candles. That's an easy one. Good sheets. My favorites are by Shabby Chic; they're soft like T-shirts."

Do you like phone sex?
"That's the bomb. You learn how to talk to somebody; that's the sexiest thing to me, talking when you're making love. So if you're not together a lot and you have phone sex, it makes it that much better when you're together."

What could someone say that would kill the mood?
"On the phone he could say, "Can you wait? I've got someone on the other line." lf we're together he could say [laughs hysterically] "I have gas."

Have you ever tied up a man?
"Oh yeah. Chains, silk ties. Many times I just used whatever was around. The guy was never being punished, but he didn't necessarily ask for it."

When do you feel the most sexually power?
"When we're playing burglar-and-victim and I'm the burglar."

Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty?
"If you asked me these questions two years ago, I'd have said the most-ridiculous, off-the-wall things. But I've mellowed out. I'm much more low-key. OK, seven deadly sins? Anal sex!"

Is that gluttony or lust? Have you ever done it to a guy?
"Yeah. I mean the finger thing is a no- brainer. I never strapped on anything, but I have used a vibrator. He put his feet over his head. [Laughs] I couldn't resist. He liked it and that kind of freaked me out. I called all my girlfriends and we had an LPC meeting - the Little Players Club - where we exchange our sexual secrets. They all tried it on their guys and then we all broke up with our boyfriends and went out with new people."

How do you know when it's lust?
"When you're having sex four or five times a day."

How do you know when it's love?
"When you don't have to have sex four or five times a day. You can sit back and eat guacamole and watch golf for a whole day and not attack each other."

What are the most sensual places you've been?
"Tahiti, Bora Bora, Hawaii. Really warm places with water."

Describe making love in a steam bath.
"Oily, steamy. We could get graphic."

Sauna?
"I barely remember. That was a long time ago."

In the backseat of a car?
"That's always good, because you're kind of cramped in there."

In a swing?
A swing is good. You don't swing very far. "Only nine or ten inches, if you're lucky."

Are you a size queen?
"No. I think I've just been fortunate."

Have you ever enjoyed horizontal recreation in a forest?
"Oh yeah. Up in a tree. On a branch. Kind of dangerous, and it hurt my back.

Which leads us to the classic Newly-wed Game question. "As Bob Eubanks would ask, "What's the strandest place you've ever made whoopee?"
That'd be in the butt, Bob. [Thinks along time] I was in a coat closet when someone's parents were in the room."

Can you have sex without love?
"I guess I have in the past, but since I've been married and had children, my idea of that has changed. I think it's aspiritual thing: When you have sex your souls see each other."

You play saxophone. Would you like to play a duet with that hornblower Bill Clinton?
"No. And I don't have advice for Hillary. I don't know why she's still there. But then I don't even know what thereal deal is."

Why do you think men cheat?
"It's human nature. It really doesn't have anything to do with the girl they're with. It has to do with men's needs. People say men have a greater need for sex, but in the right relationship, it's pretty equal. Women can be very sexual. It depends on your attraction to the other person."

Have you ever cheated?
"When I was married I never evenlooked at other guys. I've gone through phases when I've had more than one boyfriend, but I never told someone I was 100 percent committed if I wasn't."

What's the thing about women men will never understand?
"Women aren't as needy as men think they are. They want to love and nurture. And for a man to really experience the love of a woman, he has to be mothered by her. Men get real jealous when women have children - they don't know how to handle being second. But this is the way women love: They are nurturers and mothers."

Is that why men are so obsessed with breasts?
"They're a novelty, something they don't have. Maybe it goes back to when they were breast-fed as kids. Or not."