Poor Bob - Waaaaa

Dearest Jimmm-bo (sigh)

There's a story that I've got to tell you. Although it's rather sad, in a pitiful kind of way, I think you'll find it entertaining enough.

This guy, Bob, was living out in the desert with his wife and son, Wendy and Jason. The three of them were a far cry from the "Brady Bunch" - if they had lived out in the burbs their neighbors would most assuredly have deemed them the "Addam's Family", but out in the desert they weren't unusual at all.

During their animated presence on the worthless plains of the high desert they stumbled upon a flower in the middle of the barren land. Iris was as refreshing as a pitcher of ice water in hell. Her education brought new ideas, her world travel brought culture - no more lizard races for the klan beneath the sun.

As with all flowers, to maintain it's beauty requires attention. She basked in the abundant pleasure of oohs and awws from her admirers. Slowly siphoning the wells of all who surrounded her, absorbing the oxygen from their sky.

The faces of Bob, Wendy and Jason were becoming gaunt and grey. Jason discovered that their illness was caused by the deficiency of all that had been taken for granted -- Leached away by their pretty little desert flower.

Well, here I sit writing cliche anecdotes about Iris as though she really were a harmless frail being only taking what she needed to survive -- maybe Iris truly thrived on the slight of hand, while her victims were mesmerized by her prettiness, she sucks the life blood from their bodies -- and then they (her victims) actually thank her for their destruction!?!

Now we're going to throw some reality out to Bob. I, the narrator, Laura, the loving sister, the walking apostle of truth will speak as though Bob were capable of handling the TRUTH.

Bob, you and your fertile grey matter brain, are more than welcome to have a life. People should not be judgemental, but face it - it happens - waaaaa.

Personally, I think I've been more than fair. I have defended you and I've not only embraced, but endorsed the "honesty" that was set before me. I came to vindicate you and your "friend", to shut everybody up, instead I validated their thoughts and suspicions. It was without effort on my part, I wasn't on a search and destroy mission. Bob, I simply wanted to make sure that their was no truth in what was being said and that you weren't going to be hurt in the end.

Once again my judgement of character has been destroyed. It happens, so what - waaaaaa. No skin off my back. I've lost nothing more than a few hundred dollars, some time and some credibility amongst my family for having been so hard headed as to not seen the light when they did. I'll get over the embarassment - Bob.

Same breath - In telling you the truth I have nothing more to lose, unlike you who have much more that you are throwing away.

Let me remind you, I am your big sister. I have ALWAYS tried to do whatever I could for you - without question, without demands, no strings, totally unconditionally.

Your younger sister, Bertha, has lived her life well and with good fortune, shadowed only by your dark cloud. You've been cruel to her animals. Remember the bird that you killed by slamming it against the wall? Laughing at her foolishness as she crumpled to the floor and picked up her pet's lifeless body. And still she loves her big brother.

The "hard life" has given you the priviledge of being a pathetic human being and the strength to belittle those who truly love you. We've all sacrificed and forgiven you for nothing more than you're love and appreciation. What sacrifices has your "friend" made for you and at what price?

Blame your mommy and daddy -- If you had mirrored them in any manner you would be more a man than you are today. God gave you a large body to give the appearance of an equally large brain - HA! You are out just for you. You are selfish and void of care for those around you. I used to feel sorry for you, hell, I still do. Poor baby, waaa - Why should you be the only one in the world to feel sorry for you - waaaa - life's one big ol' pitty party for Bob -- waaa!

Nobody gives a shit that you want to get away from Wendy. Hell, if you want a flower who dances at nudie bars, GFI (go for it)- and great for you to finally have a woman with a job -- that's what you wanted, isn't it?

Your flower has the ability to manipulate and hustle a guy out of anything -- there's the smart woman you've been dreaming of.

She lies with every breath she takes -- there's your creative woman. - BOB, YOU ARE THE MAN!

Iris wanted me to make her a web page advertising private parties.

STRIPPERS
TOTALLY NUDE
WILL TRAVEL
$200/hr + travel expenses

Small perkie titties - Nipples to die for - Healthy ass - Wet pussy on your face.

Cool with me - but it'll take me time & you won't get any incoming calls - that's why Iris changed her phone service.

I happen to think it's a great idea -- I told her she should do private parties instead of grinding on a guys lap while she rubs her "perkie titties" in his face - and biting at his groin through his jeans for 10 minutes -- But then she gets paid $5 to do this. Oh, don't worry, she said that she would refuse to do the "couch dance" if the guy was ugly and/or disgusting. I have learned that she doesn't think that of anyone.

She's not a hustler, but she conned one of her customers into letting her use his vehicle. Pretty nice of him, loaning a nudie dancer his vehicle, his insurance - letting her do, Lord knows what with it, going who knows where, without so much as knowing where she lives other than somewhere "up the hill". If anything were to happen, we know that she would have been found easily enough, just call the local police department, they know who she is. I think you'd like him, he reminds me of your buddy Gene. He took us out for dinner at a little Mexican restaurant - Iris did offer to pay (good cover-up). He has a really nice house, Ron's Backhoe Service, you can probably look it up in the phone book. Iris has explained Bob to Ron as a neighbor in need, nothing more, she's just helping him out. I guess it's no wonder that my first sight of Iris was walking arm in arm with Ron, as though they were a couple, through the airport. Stealing kisses when possible.

On stage she does a back bend - giving her an arachnoid appearance. Unlike the other 8 girls that I watched, Iris clears the counter on the other side of the bar, moving the $3 sodas of her eager victim. She reaches past the bar and pulls the guy into her chest, tugging and pulling on her nipples then rubbing his face and mouth across them. A dollar bill goes on the counter - Ka-Ching!

Now a platformed foot crosses the bar and rests on the next gentleman's shoulder. Her arms stretched beneath her, her belly becomes a table, both heels on his shoulders she thrusts her pelvis at eye level and to his sweet surprise - Ka-Bam! She wraps her heels around his neck and pulls him right into her pussy - grinding his face - She was the only woman to go beyond the bar -- supposedly because it's illegal, the cops would close the place down -- hey, but she's not afraid, not when George Washington's face might be there for her.

Sorry to be so graphic, especially since you two have a "platonic" relationship. I told her that I did not want to hear about your small dick and enormous ball sack, she insisted -- but you know how classy she is - Bob.

I'm sure you know that you gave the flower permission to drain you. It's called brain washing. You actually believe it was your idea to do things. Think hard Bob, remember back when you were you - back when you were miserable - back when your brain belonged to you, you had to make your own decisions. This euphoric state that you are in, it's part of the wash, it's just soap, once she's finished with you the soap rinses right off and you'll be more miserable. You'll see your illness and what it 's taken from you. A temporary lobotomy, blind and deaf to all but the voice of Iris.

Go to sleep Sampson, Delilah's got her scissors! Drink the poison Romeo, but rest assured, Juliet's sipping sugar water.

Joe Ferri, Bob is not. Why, that would be like saying Charles Manson is Santa Claus -- let's not disparage Bob, not now, not yet.

Iris spent her time telling people she has a law degree -- but then for some peculiar reason, she needs to take a para legal course.

It's awfully nice that she is activating all the pre-approved credit cards that land in her mailbox in your name. I guess after all these years of you and Wendy throwing them away, it's time to get them now, you'll be able to use them while you're in prison.

What's the deal with the CitiB Platinum? The excuse from her was that it was taken out for Wendy so she could have money to take care of herself -- Strange that nobody told Wendy about it.

Wendy and Iris were on the phone, Iris put it on speaker and Wendy said, "I called the credit card company and they said that they aren't going after you because the signature on my driver's license matches the signature on the application." With the mute button on Iris responded, "She's such a fucking liar! There's no way that they matched, it's my signature, I signed her name. Can you believe how she lies?" -- I couldn't believe that Iris was telling me this.

According to Iris, 90% of the time when Bob calls her he's crying. Iris told Bertha that you had called her up sobbing, that I had ruined everything, that you were totally devestated that I would go and tell Mr. Dim that she is a liar, cheat and a theif (which I did not tell him all that, but if that's their perception, it's pretty accurate from what I've witnessed). She told her that because of the things I told him you were going to end up going to prison -- When you called Bertha, you were mad at me, but not for any of the reasons that Iris expressed to her, on the contrary, you were confident that all was going well and in your favor - the truth would prevail. You know whether or not you called Iris in tears - so did you tell her your intense fear for your life's devestation? Why would she want to make up such a story for your family?

Why would she tell everyone that you and Jason were getting along so wonderfully? That you had talked to him on the phone for an hour and a half?

Why would she say that the red truck is in her name?

Why would she say that the "Tweeker's Suck" truck never belonged to you and that she bought it from someone with her own money? Then, tell me that you bought it from a 19 y/o?

Why would she tell me that she called the corporate office in Texas to get them to put a good word in for you, after standing there telling me that it would be a waste of time, they would not do it. She also told me that it wouldn't make a difference to the courts that you have over 10 years at the same job, because she had already told Mr. Dim. Crossing back and forth with conflicting stories, insisting that the corporate office is in Texas, then back peddling and telling me that it's in Ontario. -- Tell me what I want to hear, I'm stupid, I can't put it together -- I am the stupid one, I let a piece of shit talk to me and I listened and fell for it's lies.

Bob, you could have taken control of your life, you are the one who chose to stay encaged. Your stinginess is, as it always has been, your demise - Ebaneezer Screw-Urself. Far better than the whore who'll flash for a dollar bill, you'll fuck yourself for $8200.

By the way, Iris with her fabulous connections, and as she herself is a bondsperson, can get a bond written at a discount for $10,000. Can you figure it out yet Bob???

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES BOB!!! YOUR ASS WAS NOT MADE FOR THAT BIG HEAD OF YOURS - so pull it out already.

Jesus, Bob, where we sit 2+2 still equals 4! You have fallen for the ancient old math that only suckers at the carnival think is right.

You think that Wendy's out of control? She's the only thing that YOU CAN control! Wendy's the monster you created. You've always been smarter than her, you never nurtured her, nor Jason. You abandoned them and then blamed them for YOUR PROBLEMS! Are you ready for this -- "I told you so"! You never did your damage control. You never spoke a kind word to them. Iris tells you what you want to hear - Go to the movies - the actors are better and you can go home and face reality - Reality is what you make it - your choices :
(a)Wonderful
(b)Just visiting
(c)Painfully Fucked-Up!

If you wanted "freaky" sex Iris would have happily have done it for $20. Hell, if you'd kept your pants on the Villa cover is $13, 2 drink min $6 and a couch dance $10 (split with the house)-- But Nooooo, you've got to give her everything.

You don't know why Wendy's selling things?!! Fuck brain - YOU never taught your monster how to function without you!

You called me telling me how guilty you felt about Wendy going away -- You should feel guilty Bob! You lied, you cheated, you fucked over both your WIFE and SON! Jason saw what was going on - White trash -- that's what you call them???

You say Iris dresses classy? Where did you get your dictionary from? - the Little Whorehouse in Texas? The only time I saw her in a different outfit was when she wore her magic clothes - you know, the ones that disappear on stage.

Do you remember whose idea it was for Wendy to fly away? Do you remember who it was that made sure that the ticket was purchased? Do you remember who orchestrated the entire scenario? Bob, wake the fuck up!

Why would Iris tell Wendy that you went to her house and cried that she was serving divorce papers on you?

Why would Iris reassure Wendy that you were going back to her when you were released? Bob, why would she feed her false hopes like that, why didn't she just tell her she didn't know what was going on? What's the purpose?

Why would Iris make it so clear that the two of you were friends only to turn it around and make it sound like the two of you were soul mates? Why would she make all these turns and flips ??? --

After 10 minutes on the phone with Iris, my daughter knew she was a flake. My daughter had called me long distance and was distraught over something, Iris insisted to be on three way and ended up being totally inappropriate, making jokes about things that had absolutely no bearing on mine and hers conversation, she couldn't just shut up and let my daughter tell me what was going on. -- I made excuses for Iris, though my gut had told me too "flake"!

My nephew told me what was going on several months ago! My husband told me that our nephew was not lying - but for you, my brother, I ignored the common sense of those around me and trusted your demented judgement. -- but to appease the non-believers I travelled across the great divide, risking my life in the building with wings -- infecting my lungs with the California smog. -- Then treking up the hill in the dense fog, following this wacko who drives like a maniac, rarely signalling, driving 90 mph in the wet fog, knowing that I have no idea where I'm going - I ventured into God's toilet, the upper desert, where fecal matter of all sorts appeared.

Let me tell you about my first sight impression of Iris Bob, let me tell you what it was that I viewed. It was my nephew, who I had categorically identified to her as one who I did not want to witness my presence. Immediately I had been betrayed. Warning signals went up in my mind, I was to proceed with more caution.

When I first saw her she looked disheveled, she wore the same shirt that she had on in the picture that your evil brother #2, wife had taken. Her make-up looked as though it had been applied a couple of days before. Platform shoes with no stockings. She walked with a man, who looked to be her "boyfriend". This is the woman to whom Bob trusted his life -- Danger Will Robinson, Danger.

This guy mentioned that he hadn't known Iris long. When I asked where they had met, she intervened with a story about where she worked, data processing. She had told me so many stories about what she did for a living, I wasn't sure what to believe. -- You know how that goes. -- But I'm cool, I don't care what she does - I just watch. Iris, as a person is who she is. More power to her, if guys are stupid enough to get tangled into her web - haha on them, or waaaaa on them. Iris is fun, like a roller coaster though, I could only take so much before I finally got sick. Not for anything, but what she was doing to you.

I have it on tape, we talked to the 401 people, they emphatically explained to us that under no u\ncertain terms do they issue checks on any other day than the 15th of the month. I questioned them and made them explain it to us. Still, she now insisted that the check would be issued to her earlier than that, as though I am just an idiot.

The lies are easy to catch, all you have to do is listen to Iris.

Why did Iris tell me that she never missed a day in court when you were there? -- Yet, when I've called and asked her, she never knew what was going on, unless she had been subpoenaed?

Why did she spend the entire weekend talking about having to go to court on Monday, as though it were the most important thing in the world to do? -- Then, when her friend had a court date on the same day and didn't have a ride, I suggested that I wouldn't mind riding to see what happened with you so she could take her friend to the other court. She then made the recommendation that I should take her friend to court and she would go to yours. I told her, "I didn't travel 3000 miles to go to court for someone else." To which she replied, "I could have left for England last month, but I didn't." I told her that the only reason that I had made the suggestion was because I thought both of you were her friend and that I thought she might want to have you both covered. -- Apparently she didn't give a shit about either one of you, because she then decided that she wanted to clean house and that I should go to court by myself. -- Which I did. Even though she knew that I was very sick and had not slept but a few hours over the past few days - jet lag, anxiety, etc.

Why did she make it very clear to me that she would bail you out regardless if there was a reduction on Monday, and then turn around and say that she was not going to bail you out at all, because you would go back to work and then the check wouldn't be cut for the 401k.

Why were you willing to give Wendy half of everything, or whatever in order to get her out of your life, and then all of a sudden, you didn't want her to have anything? Or was that just what Iris wanted us to think?

Iris said that you were happy that I was coming out and that you kept telling her to make sure that she had food in the house and that it was clean. She told me that she took two days off before I got there to clean house. -- the only thing that she had done was mop the floor. When I got there I went to the second hand store and bought a suit case and some bags to put all her mail, papers, etc. I also dusted and vaccumed the dining room and swept and dusted in the living room. -- When I woke up the morning that I arrived. The bed in one of the spare rooms was piled high with clothes and all the carpets were not only dirty, but looked like they hadn't been vaccumed for weeks. By the way, there was a lot of dust on the furniture. Iris told me that it was a waste of time that the dust would return like that by the next day. There was a dust storm the next day -- even after 5 days of being there, there was absolutely no dust build up when I left.

Why does she tell everyone that you checked all the boxes for the power of attorney, and you say no?

She says that she's paying all of your bills and letting all of hers go.

She said that I went to Wendy's even though I wasn't gone for five minutes, and came back and told her that we had thought better of the idea.

Iris also told me that you hadn't seen your brother for awhile and you had been depressed, so she made the suggestion that you go to visit your brother. Your brother and his wife were thrilled to see the two of you and after spending the day at their house you wanted to take them out to dinner. -- Now I hear that the real story was that it was the weekend that the dogs had ran off and your brother had gone to search for them and his wife had invited the two of you to go to karaoke. Iris actually did talk you into going down the hill, but you had just seen each other. -- You want to tell me how you got lost going to your brother's house?

Iris insists that she's a social worker for developmentally disabled -- Fucking retards does not a social worker make -- From what I hear she was taking disability checks and cashing them, telling the person that they belonged to that they never came in the mail.

Iris told me that because she has worked with the developmentally disabled she gave your 7 y/o nephew with Down's Syndrome a gun, even though your brother and sister-in-law had told her they don't permit him to play with guns. And you supported Iris with her decision to go against your brother's wishes? Yea, that's exactly what a professional social worker would have done.

We went to the rock -- The guy who was buying our drinks was going to give up $20 to catch a flash of "perkie titties" when instead, Iris stuck her hand down her tight fitting pants, rubbed and squirmed, pulled out her finger, got up and wiped it across her girlfriend's upper lip. The guy then put the $20 back into his pocket and said, "Shit, I would have given $20 up just to have watched her do that -- She's a cheaper date than I thought". --

Bob, you're a bright fellow, never one to believe in fairy tales, why start now? And before you go off feigning that you're the "fucked over relative" look who's fucking over who? You're the one who spills your guts to the bloodless one, the one who is not family, the one who has no ties whatsoever to anyone in our family.

My brother, I have spent hundreds of dollars to come to your defense. I have accepted hundreds of dollars in collect phone calls, spent hundreds of dollars talking to your friend and getting information in hopes that I could help you. I have gone to lengths that you would never have even considered for me or anyone else. For what? You owe me absolutely nothing, and you give exactly that. I have tried to pay for your education so that you won't have to carry the burden alone, all because I love you. For months I trusted your judgement, you're my brother, I discounted the judgement of everyone else - Now, I have learned for myself.

Most importantly -- You want to think really hard as to how you got to where you are today????????

The best advice that anyone can offer you now, is what everyone has tried to give to you.

ACCEPT REALITY

Jim, I hope you enjoyed the story about Bob and his family. Bob's really a fucking ass hole, the story isn't complete. I haven't decided whether to allow him to see the light and become a respectable character or to let him wither in the dung. I'm sure unlike Bob you have more respect for people who would reach out and watch your back. You would never be tricked by a weed, one that would take over all aspects of your life and manipulate everything that you think, surely you would know the difference between a flower and a weed. Just as Bob's sister, Laura, is there for him, I am there for you.