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Vacation Pay

January 1, 2000

Dear Valued Employee:

Re: Vacation Pay

Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the
past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3
weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional
week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,400
days off work or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect
payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the
past 1,200 months.

Sincerely,

Automated Payroll Processing

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An Interesting Dinner

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner
with God.

During dinner, God told them, "I invited you to dinner, because I needed
three important people to send my message out to all people -
Tomorrow, I will destroy the Earth!!"

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them, "I have
two really bad announcements to make. First, God really does exist,
and second, tomorrow He will destroy the Earth."

Clinton called an emergency session of Congress and told them, "I
have good news and bad news. The good new is that God does exist,
and the bad news is that he will destroy the Earth tomorrow."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft headquarters and told his people, "I
have two fantastic announcements! First, I am one of the three most
important people on Earth, and second, the Year 2000 Problem has
been solved!"

Submitted by Karen Lam

A Y2K Wish

An executive is vacationing on the beach. A bottle washes up. He picks
it up and uncorks it. A genie oozes out and says, "Look. It's been a
tough week and I'm all tuckered out. I can only grant you one wish."

The exec thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I've always wanted a
bridge from California to Hawaii."

Genie says, "Gimme a break. No can do a bridge. Try again."

The exec says, "OK. Tell me everything I need to know to keep my
business from failing in the Year 2000."

Genie sighs and says, "Alright. Do you want that bridge two lanes or
four?"

Submitted by Nick Osborn
Adapted by: Ralph Smyrni and Brad Cone

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Solutions

Submitted by Kenneth Soder

Here's a funny one taken from a recent Techweb article:

"Microsoft has announced a solution for the year 2000 problem.
It will be released in 2004."

- JavaSoft president Alan Baratz

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Apple Commercial

The following appeared in an Apple advertisement:

'Apple -- we might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'"

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