From the tall arched window, set above the main entrance, Mark could see the main estate, to the rolling grass and forest that bordered the East side, to the small creek that fed into the East River, running down from North and West before dividing the white walls surrounding the estate. On the ground, long morning shadows must have been dappling the city, but from this prominence all seemed clear and bright. A constant breeze played with the branches of the barren trees. An unnatural heat gripped Brooklyn, and the rest of the state of New York. Snow should have covered the ground deep, yet the weather belonged in the depths of spring. Was it a sign? An ill omen.
Plain floor tiles and white marble walls decorated by tapestries and paintings did not interest Mark. They paled against the beauty of Nature outside this bay window. Today, all went unnoticed by his keen eye. The dancing branches, Birds darting happily to and fro chirping away. Mark usually noticed every last detail, but today they might not have been there. He saw it all but he registered nothing. His mind was far distant from the lands before him. He was focused on the upcoming trip that he must make. The internal struggle raged on, a strong contrast to the scene out the window.
"Am I doing the right thing?" Mark Queried in response to hearing the footfalls of his brother Chris behind him.
"It is your Giri - Duty. It is a matter of Keibatsu."
"What? I'm married. That doesn't make sense. Your forgetting my grasp of Japanese was never as good as yours. You were the one raised overseas not me."
"It has another meaning. It refers to a bond of blood. He is your Watashi No Musuko - your Son." Chris lectured softly.
"But is the time right?", Mark said never averting his eyes from the window.
"Would you rather leave him where he is?"
"I don't know." Mark meekly replied. Leaning both hands against the window, and peering down at the floor.
"Yes, you do." Chris corrected. "Its why we are here. Why we set this whole thing up. Its only natural to have reservations. Its a very big step that your making and once you do you can't take it back. But, your not alone in this, I'm with you. We all are."
"It's just that I'm not so sure that it is the best thing for him."
"He has no Haha - no mother. We are his only family. It is the right thing. Its what he wants."
"But how can you be so sure?"
"Mark, It's not just your decision. You know he wants a father. What boy wouldn't in his situation. Besides if you don't do anything I will. After all he is my blood too."
"No. Chris you will not. I am the older brother. You will abide by my wishes."
"Did you forget that it was you who sent Sangin to protect him in the first place. If not for him you would never have known about him."
"You know as well as I that I have no memory of that. I can't remember anything since the day that..." Mark's voice trailed off running once again into that blank barrier in his mind when he tried to recall the past. He gave up and continued, "What about him. What if he can't adjust? What if he can't accept my past."
"Nariyuki - Be patient and wait for the turn of events. Don't Fret we will cross the bridges when they arise." And there are plenty of bridges around here, excluding those in Brooklyn. Everything is ready. He'll continue to attend his school. Fulfill his school year will give us all, all the time we need to adjust and then we can all decide what happens next. We are jonin - Leader of the Ninja clan. We have faced much worse than this."
"Giri." Mark repeated reluctantly feeling very trapped. Why was this so hard? He had always said that this is what he had wanted - A fact that his brother had purposely omitted in trying to ease his troubles. "How do you suggest we deal with the past issue?"
"What about it? You will tell him when you are ready."
"But what will I say? Chris I've never done this before."
"You'll figure it out. No one said that being a father would be easy. I think that it will be good for you. You've been so somber and withdrawn lately." That got his attention. Mark turned around and looked blankly at Chris. Arguing wouldn't have accomplished anything - Chris was right. Chris continued ignoring the look from his brother, "I've sent for the Caddy. It's best not to keep the lad waiting. He's probably out of his mind already knowing your coming. Just be yourself. Don't try to frighten the lad, any more than he already is. This is a very big day for him. Try to ease it for him."
"I don't know"
"I could go for you" Chris said matter of fact.
"No! I won't play games with him. No switching places. EVER. Promise me you won't do that to him. Swear it."
"I swear." Chris said calmly not showing his shock at his brother's reaction. Clearly Mark had not completely forgiven him for the past. Too bad that hadn't been lost with his other memories. Chris had not meant to pretend to be his brother. He was only suggesting going as Matae - the Uncle. The misunderstanding was one of the many disadvantages to being a twin.
Mark walked past his brother leaving him alone in the spacious room. Chris peered out the window at the shoen - farm estate. He twisted impatiently recalling the feeling of the ten thousand cho estate where he had been raised back in Japan. He longed to be there once more. It had been too long since he had been back. But he could not. Giri held him here. Tied him to his brother. Well, shigata ga nai - what would be, would be.
Nervous, twelve-year-old Kaitlyn Smith grasped the silver locket which hung loosely around his thin neck. Seven years ago, when Father Phillip had first entrusted it to him it had hung deep on his chest, overtop his navel. He had grown since then, but he had never taken it off.
The locket had belonged to his mother, and was his only keepsake. It made him feel close to her. The one true belonging that was his, close to his heart, watching over him all of these years.
Kaitlyn opened the locket, brushed his finger over the inscription. It read 'To my Darling Katie- Lynn...Love Always'. Words that held special meaning for him, not only because it was the derivative of his own name, they might have been his grandfather's words or maybe his father's. His father could have given the locket to his mother as a gift to his mother, a symbol of his undying love. And now it was an even greater symbol to their child they never knew. The locket was the key to his heritage, his biological roots. All he knew of his past was linked to that oval-shaped locket, given to Father Phillip moments before she died. Minutes before Kaitlyn was born.
When Kaitlyn was seven, Father Phillip sat him down, given him his mother's locket and the mystery of his birth. Father Phillip had found his mother on the front steps of the church. Badly beaten, bleeding and in the throes of labor. She died clutching her locket in Father Phillip's hand. They would never have known her name if not for the inscription on Kaitlyn's locket. She never got the chance to tell them her name, or the name of Kaitlyn's father. The only thing they learned from her before she slipped into unconsciousness and died was that the father was dead. She had been a drug addict, and it was possible that she had lied about his father. To console Kaitlyn, Father Phillip had stressed the fact that it had been God's will that Kaitlyn had been born, and brought to St. Mike's orphanage. It was a miracle that he had been born at all. Another that he survived, born addicted to crack. Kaitlyn never thought it was much of a miracle. He had been angry with God for a long time for making him an orphan.
The years had eased the ache in his heart. And through it all, the locket was always with him, comforting and easing his troubles. How ironic that now, when Kaitlyn was about to meet his past, that the key to his past would calm his nerves. Kaitlyn was about to see his father, Mark Smith-Amiatio, for the first time when he was all of twelve-years-old. He had dreamed of this moment for years, and now that it had arrived he was pretentious and nervous.
He tried not to get his hopes up, worried that it all might be a big mistake, or worse, his father might be disappointed with him. He shut the locket and prayed to God. He wanted his father to like him so he prayed with all his might. He knew that a prayer should be selfless, made for someone else, but considering everything he'd been through Kaitlyn argued that he deserved this one prayer for himself.
Often Kaitlyn daydreamed of an imaginary father, creating a heroic figure, larger that life, an important man of great sensitivity, great charm, and great strength. Father Phillip had tried to fill the gap in Kaitlyn's life to replace his father; he gave generously of himself. Kaitlyn accepted the proffered love and guidance, but it was not the same as having a real father.
His father came to St. Mike's, where Kaitlyn had lived all his life on the morning of February 16th, thirteen days after his twelfth birthday. Silently he wished Father Phillip was still alive to help him. He cringed as a part of him felt relief that Father Phillip wasn't. In a way Father Phillip had been the only father he had known and now he was feeling a little guilty. That by meeting his real father he was in some way betraying Father Phillip. He had died only a short while ago, nearly two months. His death had been hard, and Kaitlyn had to leave the great machine in his head running constantly to detach himself from the pain. He had to be strong. Learning that he had a father had almost been too much on top of that. Mother Margaret had helped him a lot.
Mother Margaret, who was all the 'family' Kaitlyn had left since Father Phillip passed on, had prepared Kaitlyn for his coming. But she hadn't prepared him for the way he looked.
Kaitlyn was standing on the porch, anxiously waiting, when his father came up the walk. The wind gave life to his black trench coat. It danced around him, like someone out of the movies. Maybe Nicholas Cage in Face-off or In City of Angels. The intimidating image was too strong for Kaitlyn to dismiss, but it helped him forget his nervousness. His father wasn't a giant of a man, but golden haired, like Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn let out a silent sigh - he had always dreamed of being tall, maybe one day playing in the NBA. Yet, the man had the physique of a world class athlete. He decided that his father must work out a lot. He scanned the man looking for more familiar features. But other than their hair - he saw none. 'Is this truly my father?' Kaitlyn questioned himself.
Mother Margaret walked up behind Kaitlyn. She rested a gentle loving hand on his shoulder, startling him. "Don't worry my son, every things going to be alright. Your father is probably just as nervous as you."
"Do you really think so?" Kaitlyn asked turning his head to look up at Mother Margaret. Her reassuring smile eased some of his tension.
"Of course. He hasn't seen you for twelve years."
Looking back at his father, he said, "He doesn't look it to me." 'In Fact', Kaitlyn thought, 'He seems oddly calm.' He stared at his father, locking every detail into his memory. He put on a smile and prepared to meet his father for the first time. He doubted his legs would be able to move even if he had wanted to run. Immediately he sensed the air of import surrounding his father, but dismissed the observation to nerves.
"You're Kaitlyn I presume." Mark said, running his hand through his hair. His voice was strangely soft, almost enchanting. Maybe he was a hypnotist. That was all.
Kaitlyn guessed that this stranger HAD to be his father, despite the apparent lack of physical similarities. He guessed that the brief case that his father was sporting contained the documents to prove his parentage. It was more for the red-tape than for him. Kaitlyn needed no proof. This WAS his father, he didn't doubt it. He couldn't explain how he knew it, but this man was absolutely his father. He felt the connection with him instantaneously.
"Hello Kaitlyn." Mark repeated.
Kaitlyn stood there, looking lost. He wasn't sure how to act or what to say. The reunion was nothing like what he had envisioned. His father made no attempt to embrace him. He supposed his father didn't know much about twelve-year-olds, or whether he was likely to laugh or cry or hide behind the door when his father came to visit. He had to admit he didn't know much about fathers either. Kaitlyn thought that his father suspected that if he patted his son's head or even shook his son's hand, Kaitlyn might burst into tears - 'As though I would', Kaitlyn thought.
Kaitlyn had been alone for as far back as he could remember and he couldn't recall the last time real tears had flown down across his cheeks. But his father couldn't take the chance of doing something that might upset Kaitlyn, because his father didn't have time for tears.
"Kaitlyn, my child. Say hello to your father." Mother Margaret said saving Kaitlyn for the moment.
"Hi." Kaitlyn said flatly. It was all he could manage, so nervous, that he was afraid his voice would fail him.
Placing her arm around Kaitlyn comfortingly, Mother Margaret led them to Father Daniel's office where the CAS worker was waiting to sign the necessary documents.
Michelle Lee-Cummings rose to greet them as they entered the plainly furnished office. She moved from behind the old wooden desk, introduced herself to Mark and Kaitlyn, and was at once struck by the piercing blue eyes they had in common. The father's hair was slightly darker than the boy's but they were alike. And there was another quality the two had in common that she couldn't place right away: Perhaps it was a kind of complicite understanding. They made a strikingly attractive pair. She couldn't deny her attraction to Kaitlyn's father. "Please, have a seat and we'll get down to business." She motioned to the two wooden arm-chairs in front of the Father's desk. She sat herself down in Father Daniel's chair, quickly putting pen to paper hoping to hide her personal interest in Kaitlyn's father. She spoke aloud as she began the first of many forms. "You have brought the necessary documents we spoke of with you?"
"Of course, Ms Cummings" Mark replied. He put his leather briefcase on the desk and glanced at his watch. How characteristic that gesture was! He must have done it a thousand times that first afternoon. And each time, he frowned, as though the hours were racing by to fast for him, disappearing before he could put them to use.
Michelle's cheeks flushed feeling his gaze upon her. "That's good. My it is hot and stuffy in this room." Even as she said it Michelle knew he didn't believe her excuse. But, did he suspect the truth? Did he know how she felt? She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, and continued... "Now then, where were we..Ah yes, .. The United States Government does release one," she read pausing briefly, "Kaitlyn Amiatio" into the custody of his biological father, one Mark Amiatio."
"Actually that's Smith Hyphen Amiatio" Mark corrected.
"That's my name too." Kaitlyn blurted gleefully finding another similarity. "I was given Smith as a last name because we didn't know my real one. Isn't that amazin' What a coincidence.!"
"Of course, of course. Sorry about that." Michelle apologized profusely. She needed time to compose herself, "I can see the two of you could use some time to get acquainted. Why don't you come back in a couple of hours. I can handle the adoption paperwork myself if you leave the proper documents with me."
"Thank you" Mark answered. He placed a folder in front of Michelle and rose to leave.
"I don't understand. Why does he have to adopt me? He's my father. He shouldn't have to do that!" The concept of having to be adopted upset Kaitlyn. Somehow it lessened the reality of having a biological father for him. Parents didn't adopt kids unless they were not there real kids.
"I assure you, it is merely a formality. We have to do it because you were made a ward of the state when we couldn't locate any of your relatives. The adoption process merely puts you back into legally custody of your biological parent."
"Come, let's not trouble Ms Cummings. Arguing will not change the futility of this ridiculous procedure."
Back on the porch Mark whispered in his soft voice, "Come on" He took Kaitlyn by the arm and led him down the steps - not like a grownup with a child - but as one comrade helps another.
Kaitlyn held back and said with uncertainty, "What about Mother Margaret? She doesn't know I'm going off with you."
"Sink her." He said chuckling warmly. "You're a man now Kaitlyn. We men have a right to go where we please once in a while." Kaitlyn followed Mark with a little doubt in his mind, but the doubt was cleared up when, from the corner of his eye, he saw Mother Margaret peering at them from behind a curtain. Her lips smiled, though she was dabbing her eyes. Poor Mother, she had been too true to her namesake. 'She can't help thinking of me as her son.'
Strangely, Kaitlyn was reluctant to leave his old life behind. St. Mike's was a big part of him. It was all he had ever known, understandably he would be nervous about the unknown. He bit down on his lip, the trepidation that he was feeling puzzled him. He had dreamed about this moment more times than he could count and now he was second guessing the fulfillment of his wishes. No this was what he always wanted. For better or worse - he was with his father. He was no longer alone.
Kaitlyn had been so excited on the day that his father's arrival. It was a dream come true. It was just like in his favorite movie, Orphan Annie. The story of the young girl's plight to find a home touched a part of him. He could never quite understand why other than they were both orphans. Her father had been a very rich man. Quickly, Kaitlyn pushed that thought from his mind. Money didn't matter. He was just glad to have a real father. What more could an orphan boy want. Little did he know.
Mark and Kaitlyn walked for hours with hardly a word spoken between them. They walked from the alley to the Mini-Mart, around the park to the courts. Kaitlyn didn't like it here but it was another of his regular hang-outs. He called this place 'gang-land', an apt term because all the local gangs seemed to meet here. It was a place he always had to be on his toes. Knowledge was survival - and so far Kaitlyn had always managed to stay one step ahead of the rival gangs. Managing to turn them on each other, thereby diverting their attention from him and others from the orphanage. It had won him respect among his peers. Unwittingly he had assumed the mantle of protector to the other children at St. Mike's.
Stopping briefly at each location, Mark looked around intently. Clearly he was checking out Kaitlyn's old home. Learning about were his son had come from. What his son had lived through. With each stop, Kaitlyn's nervousness gave way to anger. What should I say? soon became Why wasn't he talking to me? His analytical mind switched into high gear, suppressing his emotions that had gotten in the way, preventing the machine inside his head from functioning properly. He became aware of what was transpiring. He was correct, Mark was purposely touring his old neighborhood. Wanting to see firsthand the kind of life that Kaitlyn had lead. He was a smart man. Smart enough to know that he could learn more about Kaitlyn from looking around than by merely talking. There had been no need for asking questions. He was seeing everything that he needed to know. Feeling the way things had been for Kaitlyn as he grew up. Reliving the horrors of the streets that were his 'backyard'. If it was anyone else invading Kaitlyn's private life, he would have been angry. But, this was his father - he had the right to know. Kaitlyn understood Mark's silence. It had purpose, it was not because he didn't know what to say to his new found son. The thought brought a surge of emotion to the rise again, and Kaitlyn fought to suppress it. He concentrated on learning what he could about him. It was possible that Mark had feelings for him. That Mark was not talking because he didn't know what to say. It suddenly occurred to Kaitlyn that the two of them had more in common than he had first discovered. Mark was smart, and very analytical too. Know your enemy. It had kept Kaitlyn alive on more than one occasion. His father was doing the same thing. Learning about him as Kaitlyn was trying to learn about him.
It was clear that Mark had the upper hand, with all the aces. He already knew far more than Kaitlyn did. Somehow he knew all the places in Kaitlyn's past. It angered Kaitlyn. Had Mark watched him all these years. No. If he had there would be no need to explore the neighborhood now. It was possibly that Mark was playing him for a fool and dragging him from place to place just to show how much he already knew. To establish his superiority. No No. Kaitlyn screamed inside his head. This was his Father not an enemy. He was not going to confuse things by over analyzing it. Then where has he been all theses years?
Kaitlyn wanted to ask him, but he didn't know how. It wasn't the right moment he told himself. Maybe your afraid of the answer.
Father Daniel was alone in his office when they returned. The CAS worker was gone. She probably had another appointment but Kaitlyn doubted it. He figured there was another reason. And it had to do with his father. "Hello there, my name's Father Daniel and you must be Mark". He held his hand out to great him. "So you'll be taking our little trouble maker off our hands." Kaitlyn winced regretting allowing Father Daniel to be mislead. "I tell you, he's a good kid at heart, I'm sure. But every time there is any trouble, He's always smack dab in the middle of it." Father Daniel sat back in his chair, gripping the arm-bars in his hands. The all black attire did not have the same affect on him as it did on Mark. The white collar denoting his ordainment, always seem odd to Kaitlyn. Out of place. He could never quite envision Daniel as a real priest. He had never developed the close bond that had existed between him and Father Phillip. Father Phillip had always understood Kaitlyn. Father Daniel was not as smart, he always saw Kailtyn as the one being the cause of the troubles in the streets. And there was something about him . Some mystery that Kaitlyn had never unwound.
"Rest assured Father, I will keep a close eye on him. In a different neighborhood I am sure that he will not have need to get involved." Kaitlyn relaxed. At least his father knew he was really a bad kid. What he did he did because he had to. To win the respect of the others - to keep them out of dangers way.
"Ho Ho a firm hand is what he'll need I tell you" Father Daniel chuckled, pushing the papers across his desk towards Mark.
There it was in black and white. Finalized. Mark was his father. There was no going back now.
"Would you care to stay for dinner. Nothing fancy mind you, but its better than nothing."
"I appreciate the offer, but I am sure that Kaitlyn is anxious to meet the rest of his family." Mark peered over to Kaitlyn, with a wry smile. Kaitlyn was sure that the Father had missed the silent gesture.
Kaitlyn felt a tug from somewhere inside him. It came from the part of him that didn't want to leave his friends behind. Especially Rachel. He looked towards Mark and nodded back as the words his father had spoken sank in. He had been listening in a daze. FAMILY. It had never occurred to him that he might have more family. Joy filled him and he blurted, "I have brothers and sisters?"
"No. But my brother has a son. Your Cousin. I am sure he will be thrilled at the idea of having someone more his age around. And I know Sangin is anxious to see you once more"
Kaitlyn's excitement was clearly evident. He wanted to see Sangin again. He had never gotten the chance to properly thank him for his assistance. They all made their brief goodbyes and left the orphanage without any further delays.
Kaitlyn crawled into the rear seat of the Cadillac ahead of his father. The leather seats creaked as he sat. The smell of the new interior, it all overwhelmed his senses. The only vehicle he had ever ridden in was the old van that belonged to St. Mike's. He almost had to pinch himself to make sure that he was awake. It all seemed so unreal. He never imagined that he would ever be rich. He had accepted that he would never leave the life of St. Mikes.
They traveled along one of the main pathways in Brooklyn for nearly ten minutes. Kaitlyn had figured they were heading Northeast to Queens until they exited the Pathway and headed through the outskirts towards the local airport. It had never occurred to him that he would actually be leaving New York State. He was not sure that he wanted to. But he also knew he would go anywhere his father did.
The Caddy pulled up and around a single engine small plane, and stopped by an ultra modern jet black helicopter. Kaitlyn was speechless. He really was dreaming. His excitement pushed all thoughts of leaving his friends and their sad goodbyes behind away. He had read about helicopters but never actually thought he would ever see one in person. Nor ride in one. He was even more shocked when he discovered that it belonged to his father. The whole day was overwhelming.
Sitting in the plush seat across from his father, Kaitlyn searched for a helmet to protect his ears from the roar of the engine. He broke the long silence and asked "Where are the helmets?"
"You won't need them in this helo Kaitlyn." Mark answered forcing himself not to look at the boy. Unmistakably he was his son. There was no doubt about it. But to look at him brought back memories. Painful memories. Sangin was right. He was just like him, cool, collective, thinking and calculating. Just like him. His survival was testament to that. He had argued to leave him alone. His brother had spoken of honor and duty. But he hadn't really needed convincing. He knew that he would never have left his son alone. But he firmly believed that if you loved someone it was best to keep them as far away from him as possible. To keep him safe he had to. He would never let any harm befall Kaitlyn. He had to remain in control, detached. He could not afford to fall in love with the boy. He wouldn't let that happen. Couldn't. But he knew it was already too late. He had felt the bond between them the moment he first saw the boy. That had been the day he had actually decided to let him know he existed. The day he had decided to take him away from the rough neighborhood that he lived in. He didn't think he would ever be sure that he was doing the right thing for him, but it was the right thing for himself. He wanted to boy with him. No. No. It wasn't that. He was doing it for the boy's safety. Back at the estate he could keep an eye on him. Protect him. It couldn't be that hard being a father. If Chris could do it then so could he.
No helmets. How will we talk? Kaitlyn didn't need an answer. He had it all figured out. His father was making an excuse so they wouldn't have to talk. He just couldn't decide why. Either Mark didn't want to or he couldn't.
Kaitlyn was surprised when the engines started. The noise was little more than a whisper, not unlike the super spy-copters that you would see in a James Bond film. Mark's complete black attire and overcoat added to the realness of his imagination. Was his father a spy or government agent. He wanted to ask that and a million other question but he kept silent. The time would come for questions, just enjoy the moment.
Misreading the look upon his son's face, Mark asked, "Nervous?".
"No, sir." Kaitlyn answered as the helo surged upward lifting them into the heavens. He instinctively grabbed for a hand hold on the seats to steady himself. He eyed his father who remained motionless. His stomach lurched and turned, momentarily disorientated by the unique sensation of the G-forces pulling on him. He tried to keep his face calm, to mask the affect of the sudden change of inertia, like his father. He looked out the side window hoping that his father hadn't noticed how much he had been affected by it. He couldn't talk now even if he wanted to. He watched the buildings fall away beneath them as they rose higher and higher into the sky. He had never been of the ground before but he was the least bit scared. He sat back in his seat again, eyes all watery in childlike amazement. He didn't want his father to see his tears but he couldn't help it. He tried to restart the machine in his head to regain control of the swirl of emotions but it wouldn't respond.
"Enjoying the ride I see." Mark said understandingly. "Your first time in a helicopter?"
"Yes, sir. First time off the ground. It's amazing. Nothing like I imagined. Everything is so small." He was unable to hide the excitement in his voice. The excitement giving his voice an almost pubertal affect. Gee that sounded corney. I am not setting that great a first impression.
His father must have been enjoying the moment as much as Kaitlyn because he smiled back at him. It was one of the few times that Kaitlyn would remember his father smile for a long time.
"When you greet your new family say Ikagadesuka. It means hello, how are you?" Mark instructed.
"That's Japanese isn't it" Kaitlyn said proud of himself.
"You know Japanese?" Mark was surprised.
"No. Not really. I guessed because of Sangin. He was Japanese."
Mark smiled again. Yes, Kaitlyn was very intelligent. Observant. He hoped it wouldn't become a problem.
