Choices that are Made

he dark clouds began to break. Rays of sun light stabbed between the crevices creating a natural laser show. It was beautiful, but surreal. A large blade of light moved toward Steve, threatening to cut him down. The blade stopped directly in front of him. His gaze followed the light toward the heavens. He saw an angel descending toward him, gliding along the length of the blade. "What the hell is going on," he mumbled to himself. The angel stood before him.

"Hell has nothing to do with my presence," the angel told him. "I have been sent to assist you in saving your soul, for it is condemned. You must find redemption alone, but I may guide you in your quest for the afterlife you seek."

"What do you mean my soul is condemned," questioned Steve? "I'm not a bad person. I treat my wife and children well. I do not cheat, steal, or lie. How can you say I am condemned. If I am, then the rest of the world must be going to hell with me."

"That may come to pass also," said the angel. "That is for God to decide. I only know what fate lay in store for you. Your future is dim. You will make decisions from this point on that will have a profound affect on your own fate, and the fate of many others. No one can change this but you. My name is Malachai. You may call on me to assist you when you need me, but do not abuse this offer. You will be allowed only two of my visits. This is the first. Use the second wisely. Your soul depends on it.." The angel started to slowly glide upward along up the shaft of light. Steve stood numbly staring at the angel's regression.

"Wait," Steve cried! "I don't know what you are talking about. Come back. This is insane."

"Do not call me again unless you are sure of yourself, Steven," the angel whispered. "Remember, only one more time may I help you."

"Tell me now, before you go what it is I do," wailed Steve. "I don't belong in hell. Tell me now so I can change it! The angel slowly dissipated without another word. "Nooo," screamed Steve. He only saw the sun, the clouds, and the deep blue of the sky above him. "Noooo!"

Hands grabbed his shoulders. He screamed again, opening his eyes to the morning light streaming into his bedroom. The hands were Bonnie's, his wife. Good God, he thought. It was only a dream, but so realistic. His heart was pounding deep in his chest. He could hear the blood rushing through his head with every beat.

"Are you OK," Bonnie asked him? "What in the world were you dreaming about? You scared me to death waking me up screaming like that. You probably woke the kids up too."

"It was nothing in this world," he replied. "It was too real. I was talking to an angel. Just forget it. I'm already starting to not remember it myself."

"Uh-huh," Bonnie said. "This angel didn't have blonde hair, long legs, and a big pair of breasts did she?"

"Get serious," replied Steve. "Besides, it happened to be a man angel named Malachai." Bonnie started laughing. "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh nothing," Bonnie giggled. "You do have the wildest dreams. You should go to one of those dream clinics. You would probably break their equipment with dreams like that."

"Very funny," said Steve. "Just forget it. Are you going to get up and fix breakfast, or am I going to have to be late for work?" Bonnie rolled out of bed still giggling. Steve reached over and smacked her on the ass as she did.

"Hey," Bonnie yelped. "You better watch that. Your angel might tell on you."

"Ha-Ha," replied Steve as Bonnie left the bedroom. He wondered why her saying that made him feel so scared.

Steve drove to work the same way he had done for the last 15 years.. He sang along with the music on the oldie's station. It helped clear his mind and get him in a good mood for the start of the work day. He was really getting into the old song "Oh where oh where can my baby be, the lord took her away from me" not knowing the real title or who sang it. He stopped singing suddenly at the next stop light. Not because of the words of the song made him think of anything. He saw a group of teenagers in the next car laughing at and mocking him. He ignored them and looked straight ahead. It was one of the perils of being a car singer, looking like a fool when you got caught. He finished the drive to work just humming with the music.

Work had been going well lately. Steve felt he was close to solving the problems with his new formula for a vaccine against chemical weapons. He wasn't a doctor, of medicine anyway. He had a Ph.D. in Chemistry and was well known for his work in the field. He was also paid well for his efforts. The company he worked for was Nordstram, a bio-chemical firm that did mostly government work for the military. Steve never really paid attention to company politics or the fortunes being made or lost by the company. He was too involved in his work to let those trivial details distract him. His bosses were great. They left him alone with his two assistants and only gave him new assignments when he had finished with the last one. Steve didn't know if they were really that good of guys, or they just didn't understand what he was doing and didn't want to look like fools asking questions that displayed their ignorance. He had worked for Ron Sanders for years. Ron was over sixty and would be retiring soon. He looked like it too. He was almost totally bald, and had a major gut thing going on. Overall, though, Ron was a pretty good guy.

Joe and Sally weren't in the lab when he arrived. Then he remembered they wouldn't be in all that week. They were both grad students at UNLV and had to prepare their thesis papers on the projects they had worked on with him. They were both good at their work and he hoped that Nordstram would hire them both full time when they graduated. Joe was a typical chemistry genius nerd, black glasses and all. Sally was a cute little girl that didn't fit the mold at all, but really knew her stuff in the lab. He was glad they had been with him the last year.

Steve checked the settings on all of the equipment before he started his day. He did this every day without fail. When he was younger he had worked for two weeks on a project. After reporting the results to the brass of the company he found out that two pieces of his equipment were not calibrated correctly. That changed the outcome of the test drastically. Luckily, he wasn't fired when he reported the problem. He did get his butt chewed out in front of all his peers, though. It was totally embarrassing, but taught him a valuable lesson about making sure of his results, and his equipment.

Serum x29-745 was his baby. He had spent the last 6 months developing the formula. He talked about it at home so much Bonnie started calling it his "baby formula" just to get him to shut up about it. Steve knew if he succeeded, he could make the entire military, probably the whole country safe from chemical weapons. It was important for the country. There were too many developing countries that had the capability to produce chemical weapons. His formula could make every chemical warhead in the world useless.

The formula was at a cross-roads of development. The idea of the formula was to isolate the genes of the subjects to shield them from chemical attack on the body. Two problems existed. First, how to control the formula to resist unwanted chemical attack, but allow medicines to still be able to do their function normally. Steve had a fantasy that since many of the major diseases, such as cancer, were caused by a biological attack on the body, maybe his vaccine would be able to stop the start of growth of cancer cells in the body. Secondly, was the most pressing problem. The current formula already isolated the genes of the subjects tested, but too well. Every animal he had given the vaccine to had died almost immediately. He wasn't quite sure why, but suspected that the vaccine did so well at isolating the genes that it cut off each bodily function from the others. The brain could no longer send signals to the rest of the body, thereby sending the entire system crashing down. His research on the cause of death was frustrating. For some reason the vaccine, once inside the body, became totally undetectable. He had tried every test he could think of and still could not find a trace of the vaccine in any tissue he tested. At this point in time, he had created just the opposite of what he was supposed to. The vaccine could be spread like a viral infection either by body to body contact or through airborne transmission. Although the vaccine was a chemical formula, it was created to act as a virus like any other vaccine. If the vaccine were let loose in public now, it would be the perfect chemical weapon. It would destroy entire populations, wiping them off the face of the earth, and no one would be able to figure out why it was happening. Steve shuddered at the thought. He controlled the inventory of all the formula personally for that reason alone. Though there were many problems with the vaccine currently, Steve was confident within another six months he could perfect the formulation.

After dinner that evening Steve was relaxing in his den reading. Bonnie came into the room and asked if he wanted desert. "No thanks, I'm fine, Steve replied.

"Oh, by the way, Bonnie said. "The news just said Nordstram's stock price had really taken a big drop today. Is anything wrong going on out there I should know about?"

"Not that I know of," Steve replied. "You know how defense companies have been up and down lately. It's probably nothing. People on Wall Street have no idea what kind of things we are developing. They just get nervous over rumors and make the stock price jump all over the place. Don't worry about it."

"OK," she said. "You should know what's going on at Nordstram better than stockbrokers do. You've been there long enough." Bonnie still had a concerned look on her face as she left the room.

Steve put his book down and thought about Bonnie. He still loved her very much. They had been married over twenty years. The were married right after they both had graduated college. It had made graduate school difficult for him, but he wouldn't trade their life together for anything. Bonnie still had the looks of woman fifteen years younger than she was. She kept in shape walking and attending aerobic classes. She made them both eat healthy food and complained about his lack of exercise. She said she was worried about him and wanted him to grow old with her. Worrying was the one thing Bonnie did that got on Steve's nerves. Health, exercise, the government, things she had no control over she still fretted about. It was just like tonight when she was so concerned about Nordstram's stock price. It was her one flaw. A pain at times, but not nearly enough to put a dent in the way he felt about her.

Steve Jr. and Lily came rushing into his den. They had been at the high school football game tonight. "You should have been there, Dad," said Steve Jr. "We kicked their butt. It was a great We won by 35 points."

"Hey," Steve said. "Don't I even get a hug?" Both of his children ran over and he hugged each with one arm. "Did you guys eat something," He asked?

"Sure," They said together. "Chili dogs and nachos at the game."

"Don't tell your mother that," Steve said. "You know how she is about what you eat. You should have sneaked me a chili dog home."

"I will next time," said Lily. "Promise" They both left the room to get ready for bed. Steve Jr. was a sophomore this year and Lily a freshman. It wouldn't be long until they both were away at college. They were lucky both kids had turned out so well. Some of his and Bonnie's friends had kids that gave them nothing but grief. Steve Jr. and Lily hadn't been in any kind of trouble and they had exceptionable grades in school. It would be a big adjustment for Bonnie and him when they were away.

Steve arrived at work the next day and performed his normal equipment checks. Before he could start his work for the morning Ron Sanders called him and asked to see him in his office. It was unusual. Steve could go for weeks and not even see Ron, let alone be called to his office. Steve took the elevator to the third floor and walked down the hallway to Ron's office. He knocked, entered, and immediately saw a Ron he had never seen before. Ron looked worn out. Steve wondered if he was sick or something and was going to tell him he was retiring right away. "Sit down, Steve," Ron said. "I've got some bad news." Steve sat in the chair directly across from Ron.

"What is it," asked Steve?

"I hate to be the one to have to tell you this," said Ron. "Your project has been canceled. The company is in deep financial trouble and they are making drastic cuts everywhere. They have demanded that I take an early retirement."

"They can't do that," yelled Steve. "Don't they realize what this project can mean for the entire nation?"

"I don't know if they do or not, Steve," replied Ron. "It's all finances. The decisions have been made on what projects to keep, and which are to go. I already pleaded your case, but they said there was to be no discussion on the matter."

"Damn bean counters," said Steve. "You know every one of them has their head stuck up their ass when it comes to what is really important."

"I agree," said Ron. "There's just nothing we can do about it."

"So what kind of crappy project are they going to stick me on," asked Steve?

"I'm sorry I didn't explain it well," said Ron.

"What do you mean by that," asked Steve?

"Steve, when I said your project was canceled it included you too.." Ron said not looking at Steve.

"Your kidding," said Steve. "I've been here over 15 years. You know there aren't any other companies out there that do the kind of work we do here. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I wish I had an answer for you Steve," replied Ron. "I just don't know what to tell you. They are giving you a year's salary and medical benefits as a severance package. They want you to pack your things and be out of the building by noon. That goes for all of us being let go, or downsized, if you prefer."

"I just can't believe this," said Steve as he lowered his face into his hands trying to hold back tears. He thought of Bonnie, Steve Jr., and Lily. How was he going to explain this to them?

Steve left Ron's office in a daze. It was unreal to think that his career was over. He hadn't seen this coming at all. Maybe Bonnie was right to worry like she did. He was sure he could find a job somewhere else.. The pay would be much less. He thought about Steve Jr's and Lily's college cost. Where would he get the money? The project being dead bothered him more than anything. The work he did could have saved thousands of people, maybe millions. How could they let that die? Maybe he could get a grant from the government to continue the work on his own. The chances of that happening were slim. The government knew what they did at Nordstram and Steve was sure they had some input on which programs to cut. He knew he could finish the vaccine if only he had the time and the resources.

The lab was still dark. He hadn't even had a chance to turn on all the lights after his equipment checks this morning. He slowly started placing his personal belongings in a box he had found. He hadn't realized how many things he had brought to work over the years. Photographs of Bonnie and the kids, momentos, and drawings the children had made in grade school. Each item held its own special place in his heart. This was a sad job. He was glad Joe and Sally were not here. Not only would he have to do his packing with them here, he would have been the one responsible to tell them they no longer had a job. It would have torn him up having to discourage their youthful exuberance. Steve grabbed his keys and went to lock the doors and cabinets in the lab. The cold room was the last he would lock. It held the inventory of the vaccine they had created so far. He stopped and stared at the cold room. Steve thought to himself, I know I could finish it. It is too important to not finish. He thought about taking his notes and the vaccine with him. That would be crazy. If the company and the government found out, not only would he not have a job, he would end up in jail. Only I know how much vaccine there is, though. They always trusted me to control the inventory myself, and I have always kept two sets of notes. I could do it. Steve had to make a quick choice. He had to leave the building soon. It was the hardest decision he had ever had to make. He decided it was worth the risk. The possibility of saving so many lives outweighed the chance of going to jail. There was a cooler in the car. He could safely keep the vaccine there until he found a better place to store it.

Steve took two-thirds of the vials in the cold room and taped them around his abdomen. It was cold. He could barely stand placing the vials against his body. He put on his wind breaker to cover the bulges the vials made. He placed his notes at the bottom of his box. He locked the cold room door and left the lab. The security at the front gate made him nervous. He knew they would be checking the ex-employees to make sure they weren't removing anything they weren't supposed to. There were lines at the gate. Four guards were doing the checks. He saw Bob Morris was the guard in the first line. He decided to fall in place there. He had known Bob the entire time he had been at Nordstram. Bob was a fixture at Nordtram, a lifer.

Steve was sweating as he came close to the front of the line. As his turn came he looked at Bob and said, "Hi, Bob, how have you been? Looks like this is the last time you'll be seeing me around here."

"Hard to believe its true," replied Bob. "I thought we would all be here forever. I'll probably be the next one to get the ax. Bob was doing a cursory glance through Steve's box as they talked. After years of knowing Steve he had no suspicions that Steve would try to steal something from the company. "Your all set," Bob told Steve. "Stay in touch. Maybe we can go out and golf again sometime."

"Sounds like a good idea," Steve replied. "You take care of yourself, see you soon."

Steve walked to his car. His heart was ready to explode. He couldn't believe what he had just done, and gotten away with. He threw his box in the back seat, quickly got inside the car and drove away. He stopped at a shopping center about a mile down the road. Steve opened the trunk and placed the cooler on the front seat next to him. He slowly pulled the tape from around his middle and placed the vials of vaccine carefully in the cooler. There was a gas station at the shopping center that sold ice. Steve bought a large bag and emptied its contents over the top of the vials. It was time to go home.

The closer he came to home, the more nervous Steve got about facing Bonnie and telling her she really had something to worry about now. Steve wasn't a drinker, but decided he needed one now. He stopped at the first bar he came to and walked inside. "Give me a beer and a double bourbon," he told the barmaid.

"Tough day, Pops," the barmaid shot back? That was all he needed. Getting fired and then to have the barmaid remind him how old he was.

"Yes," he replied. "I lost my job at Nordstram with about three-hundred other people today. A real bad day."

"Whoa," whistled the barmaid. "Sorry about that, must be rough. They really got rid of that many people today? I have an uncle that works there. I hope he didn't lose his job too."

Steve downed the double shot and sipped his beer. He could already feel the bourbon warming his blood. "Give me another shot," he told the barmaid.

"Another double," she asked?

"Sure," replied Steve. "Why not? I don't have to get up and go to work in the morning." The barmaid laughed a sad laugh at his joke as she poured the drink.

"How long did you work there," she asked Steve?

"Almost 17 years," Steve replied as he downed the next shot. "A long time."

"Damn right it is," the barmaid exclaimed. "I've never had a job at one place for more than two years. Course I've always tended bar so you get use to losing your job when they go out of business. Happens all the time. You want another?"

"Yes," said Steve. "And another beer too."

"Here ya go, I gotta go wash some glasses before the afternoon rush starts getting here." she said as she walked away.

Steve drank in silence. Thinking about his job, his life, and what he would do with it now. He would get back on his feet somewhere else. He would finish his work on the vaccine and save lives. His work was important. He got off his stool and walked to the restroom, bumping into two tables on the way. Damn, he thought. I haven't been this drunk in years. He thought about calling Bonnie to come and get him, but thought better of it. It was going to be hard enough to explain what had happened without doing it in the car. It was only about ten miles to his house. He would be fine.

Steve took off down the highway toward home. He was drunk, but didn't seem to be weaving too much. Just put it on auto-pilot and let her go. Steve was dreaming about the time he first met Bonnie, how he fell in love with her the first time they met. Steve's mind woke him with a start, his subconscious warning him he shouldn't be dreaming in the car. It was too late. Steve looked up to see the tree coming toward him at 65 miles per hour. He had no time to react.

The officer in charge was about finished with his investigation. He radioed his sergeant to let him know the Careflight chopper had taken off. The paramedics told him they were taking the guy to Mercy South in Waterford. The guy's chest was pretty smashed up. The EMT's on board said that Mercy South could handle it better. He told the sergeant to notify the wife. It would take her a while to drive there. It was over 50 miles away. The sergeant inquired how the accident had happened. The officer explained that the guy must have been drunk as hell. He had an empty cooler in the car with him. A real idiot. He told the sergeant he would check back in when they had finished cleaning up.

"Hey, Boss," The tow truck driver yelled at the officer. "Is it OK to take her away?"

"Yea, go ahead," he replied. "I'm finished here."

"What about the stuff inside?"

"It's just a cooler of ice," said the officer. "Just dump it out."

"Will do," replied the driver. He grabbed the cooler and dumped its contents onto the pavement. He noticed the vials mixed in with the ice.. Two of the vials were broken. "Hey man," he called to the officer. "There's something in the ice." He died before the officer could reply.

"Where am I," Steve asked? His vision was fuzzy. He could tell he was in a hospital room. He saw a nurse walk up to his bed.

"Your in Mercy South hospital," she told him. "You were in a bad accident. Your hurt pretty bad but your stable now. Your wife has been notified and should be on her way." Steve's eyes close again. He was under heavy medication for the pain. He slept.

The pain woke him again hours later. He waited for the nurse to walk by and asked for more pain medication. When she returned to give him the injection he asked, "Is my wife here yet?"

"No, not yet," she replied.

"How long have I been here," he asked?

"About 12 hours," the nurse told him.

"She should be here," Steve said. "Its only an hour away by car."

"I'll let you know when she arrives," she said. "I heard on the radio there are some traffic problems on the highway from Weston. We heard something about an outbreak of illness there too. She is probably just having problems getting here. Try to get more rest."

Steve slept on and off, thinking about Bonnie and the kids. His thoughts were not coherent. His sense of time distorted. What had the nurse said about traffic problems? How could traffic be held up for twelve hours? She said something else, too. Something about people getting ill? He became more awake than asleep. He saw the nurse had changed. "Nurse," he asked? "Do you know if my wife is here now?"

"No, not yet," she said.

"Has she called?"

"Not that I'm aware of," the nurse said. "Where is she from?"

"Weston," he told her.

The nurse paled. "Did you say Weston?"

"Yes, Weston," Steve said. "Why, What is wrong with that?"

"We've been getting reports from there," she said. "Something about an outbreak of illness. They said the hospital there couldn't handle the amount of people that were ill and they were going to start sending patients to us. It has been almost three hours since they informed us of the situation. We haven't had one patient show up, or any more contact from the area."

Steve's heart stopped. The accident. He had the vials of vaccine in the car with him. Oh, God, he thought. If just one of the vials were broken. "Oh, God, NO," he cried out!

"Are you in pain," the nurse asked? Steve couldn't answer. What had he done? If there was a broken vial, the vaccine could spread swiftly, killing everyone it came in contact with.

"Sir," the nurse said. "Are you all right?" The nurse was called into the hallway by another nurse. She returned a moment later looking like a ghost. "Sir," she said. "I need to leave. Will you be OK?"

"What did she tell you," Steve asked?

"The illness in Weston I told you about," she started. "It seems there are thousands of people dying. They have no idea why, and it is spreading quickly. Steve just stared, not saying a word. "I have to go," she told him again as she left the room.

This couldn't be happening. Steve thought it had to be another nightmare. He was a fool to take the vaccine from the lab. A nightmare that he had caused. The dream, he thought. The angel had told him he could help. Could it have been real?

"Malachai, can you hear me," Steve prayed? "Please help. You said you could assist me in saving my soul, help me save the lives of many. Please show yourself to me." The room brightened to pure white. The figure of Malachai appeared before Steve.

"I have come," the angel spoke. "You know what I have done," blurted Steve? "You said before you could help. You must do something now. Thousands of people will die if you don't."

"There will be millions die," the angel said.

"You know what will happen," Steve cried? "Then you have to stop it."

"Of course we know what will happen," the angel implored. "Why do you think I came to you with a warning and the offer of help. All you had to do was ask. A simple gesture at the right moment would have stopped the carnage."

"But you said I had one time I could call on you," Steve pleaded. "I have called on you now to help me. You have to live up to your word!"

"I have lived up to my word," the angel replied. "You were given the warning about your soul, and offered assistance. It was your choice to believe and use my help."

"I do believe," cried Steve. "I called you and you came to me. You must stop this madness. I beg of you, do not let this happen."

"It is not in my power to stop this," the angel said. "I could have only assisted you when you were making the decision to unleash the epidemic on the world. I could have helped stop you, but I can not stop what has already begun."

"There must be something," said Steve. "I will give my soul to stop this. Please help me. How in the world can I make you see it is not too late."

"Oh, but it is too late," replied the angel. "As for the world? It will no longer exist as you know it now. Within forty days, all but seven people will be gone from the face of the earth. The choice was made, your choice. You have lost you soul, and destroyed the earth as you did. There is no turning back."

"Oh, God," cried Steve. "What have I done. Oh, God forgive me. Bonnie, kids, please forgive me."

"Your Bonnie and children are already gone," said the angel. "And there will be no forgiveness."

Steve stared as the angel faded, and his world turned to darkness.