Command Decision

he cryogenics systems worked, at least they had sixty-six and two-thirds of the time. Captain North was elated to be alive, but despondent over the loss of part of his crew. Saturn had been their destination, and still was, but with one less crew member than they started with. He would say a prayer for her soul, but that was about all she would get. It was time to make the harsh decisions that would make the mission a success, or to have it fail, it was up to him. Being the leader was never easy on a mission such as this one, even ignoring the fact that this was the first mission beyond the first five planets in the solar system, and that it was the first time cryogenics was used to suspend the crew's lives until their destination was imminent. He would live up to the responsibility, just as his father had on the first manned Mars landing.

North double checked the sensors on her cryogenic cell, there was no mistake, no life signs were present. The task of investigating what had gone wrong would have to wait until their return to Earth. Their six year mission seemed short for using cryogenics in the first place, but it was hoped that its successful use would lead to much longer missions deeper into space.

North was sad to loose his science officer, her brilliance was wasted, never to be realized on what they would accomplish upon their landing on Titan, the largest of Saturn's moons. Titan was chosen because it was not only the largest, but also the most enigmatic moon in the solar system, covered by clouds, hiding it's secrets until we would arrive to unmask its shroud of mystery.

Lieutenant Anderson was a brilliant scientist, one of the foremost authorities on the possibilities of extraterrestrial life the world had to offer. She was chosen for the expedition not on her physical capabilities, but on her knowledge that could unlock the mysteries of life on other planets. His sense of loss was more than for her professional attributes, though. She was a lovely young woman that far surpassed the typical stereotype of the female scientist. She was very attractive, long blonde hair, a cute perky face, and a more than appealing figure. She was the personality that would have held the mission together, her sense of humor, the quick wit that could make the most tense moments more relaxed, they would all be missed on the rest of their journey. Her passing would hamper their progress immensely. He regretted having to wake ensign Butler, though her subordinate officer, North believed there was truth to the rumors about their relationship. Both he and Butler would have to face the realities of how harsh a mission in space could be.

Butler had taken longer to revive from the cryogenic state than North had anticipated, he was very tired by the time Butler could acknowledge his questions.

"Where am I," were Butler's first words.

"Right where you are supposed to be," North told him.

"We made it then?"

"As well as could be expected," I replied. "I have some bad news about Anderson, though."

"What is it," Butler asked?

I stammered around for a moment before telling him outright, "She didn't make it."

"What, are you serious," he cried? "What happened to her, what went wrong?" "I have no idea more than you do," I told him. "Neither of us has the expertise with cryogenics to be able to know, it will have to wait until we return. I'm very sorry"

"Can I see her?"

"You know that isn't possible," I replied. "There are strict regulations on the separation of any fatality on a mission. I can't let that happen."

Butler tried his best to put on a professional front, but I could see his pain, and the tears that wanted to pour out of his soul. He had lost someone close to him, but I could not let that affect the rest of the mission. He would have to bear the pain privately, carrying out his duties as if had meant nothing to him. I felt for him, but there were many difficult decisions I would have to make as the captain of the mission. His life, mine, and the completion of the mission were the only things I could consider at this point, any other thoughts would put it all in jeopardy..

Butler maintained his professionalism well. He completed his task better than I thought I would have under the circumstances. I was beginning to have more respect for him than I ever thought I would at the beginning of our mission. He was a strong young man, full of ambition and arrogance, but an arrogance born of true belief in his abilities. Butler was an attractive young man too, thin, but fairly muscular, dark hair and eyes that made you want to know him whether you were a man or a woman. I can understand why Anderson had fallen for him. I wouldn't have had a chance with her, not just because of my age, I just didn't live up to the requirements a woman of her quality would demand.

There would be things I would have to withhold from Butler to make the mission complete, to assure emotions would not disrupt our functions, things I would not be proud of later, but things that were necessary for a leader to do.

Our mission on the surface of Titan was fairly straight-forward and simple as these things go. There would be test on the soil for carbon content, DNA sensors that would be left behind to transmit data to Earth long after we had gone, and test to measure the water and atmospheric contents of this strange moon.

Our landing went without a hitch, Titan was a beautiful moon, it's atmosphere like a two-way mirror, not allowing the moon to show itself to outside observers, but allowing magnificent views from the surface back into space. The rings of Saturn seemed so bright and near you felt as though you could reach out and touch them. I felt as if I had reached the ultimate goal for a man of my calling. I would be happy to die here, knowing I was the first to see such magnificent beauty, but I had responsibilities, and too much pride not to follow through with them. Our time on Titan was short, scheduled for only three days in earth time. It would be hard though, allowance for only eight hours sleep in the total three days was given us. I wished it had been scheduled for much longer. The long journey, even the under the cryogenic sleep, seemed wasted for such a short visit to the surface of this wondrous moon. The allowed days flew by, we didn't have time to discuss anything but the mission in the time allotted. Before we had time to think about anything else, it was time to leave Titan's wonder and beauty, and start our return to earth. The lift off from Titan's surface went smoothly, and our initial orbit preparing for the acceleration toward earth went easy as well. The time to make my most difficult decisions was now. We were required to gorge ourselves for three days on the ships' stores, preparing our bodies for the cryogenic sleep home. I would complete the mission at hand, but be less than happy with the means I had to take to complete it.

Butler's job was to complete the pre-return flight checks on the rocket itself. My only mission at this point was to assure the crew followed the prescribed dietary and exercise program. It was up to me to make sure the crew returned as safe and healthy as possible. Butler was amazed at the quality of the rump roast I served at breakfast the first meal, yes breakfast, our protein consumption had to be very high to prepare our bodies for the cryogenic sleep on the return flight. There was very little time assigned for rest periods in our preparation, we would receive all the rest we needed after activating the cryogenic chambers. Butler raved over the breast fillets we had for lunch, and the leg of lamb for dinner.

"I can't believe the quality of the food they sent for us," he exclaimed! "It taste like it was fresh off the farm."

"The Space Organization takes care of it's own," I replied.

"I'll be damn sure to volunteer for another mission just for the pre-return food then," Butler said.

"Don't be too sure of yourself yet," I told him. "There is still a long way to go, and many things to learn of our survival in distant space."

"Don't worry about me," he replied. "I can handle this kind of treatment anytime."

The time to return to earth was at hand. I prepared our last large meal and served it to Butler and myself. Liver, not one of my favorites, but high in iron and protein, just what our bodies would need to survive the return flight in a cryogenic state. Butler consumed the meal ravenously, seeming to enjoy every bite. I ate slowly, thinking about the mission and the sacrifices we had made to ensure success.

The meal was finished and it was time to prepare the ship for leaving orbit. Butler made his final calculations and adjustments to the equipment, then joined me in the cryogenic lab. I helped him into his suit, and adjusted the timers to awaken us at the proper moment, just as we crossed the halfway point between Mars and earth. Butter was happy, but I could tell there was something bothering him.

"What is it," I asked?

"Nothing really," he replied. "I just wish Anderson was here to enjoy the success of the mission with us. I really loved her, if you didn't already know that."

"I had my suspicions," I told him. "It is unfortunate, but we still have to do what is necessary to complete the mission, personal feelings thrown aside."

"I realize that," Butler told me. "I was going to ask her to marry me when we return from the mission, she had become everything to me, everything that I needed to survive in this life. I miss her very much."

"I understand," I told him. "But now we must concentrate on our return to earth, there will be time to grieve when we return." I turned to the control panel and started the sequence for Butler's cryogenic sleep. The instruments said everything looked well.

The time for me to enter the cryogenic chamber myself was limited. I just had to take some time to myself to consider what I had done for the mission. The responsibilities of the captain were at times cruel. What other decision could I have made? I was responsible to keep bad news from the rest of the crew, to lessen the chance of low moral, even though it may affect mine terribly. Butler had gone into his sleep in a good mood considering his loss, how would he feel when we returned to earth, and he found out the truth. I wasn't able to tell him the ship's store of food supplies had not survived the trip to Titan, and that I had to make very quick decisions on how we were to survive. He had thought his love had been lost and no longer a part of the mission, but she was, she was with us all the time, and in us as I speak...I only hope he can find it in his soul to forgive me when we return to Earth.