Did you know… ?

Immanuel Kant was a ruddy piss ant,
Who very rarely was stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
About the raising of the wrist.
And Socrates himself,
Was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of sherry was particularly ill.
Plato they say, could stick it away –
Half a bottle of whisky every day.

Aristotle,
Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink therefore I am."