Quotes
Rusty Nails fans agree that half the fun of a show is what takes place between songs. Please note that these are by no means word-for-word quotes, but the jest of it is about the same. Next time you see the Nails play, pay attention to the witty stage banter, and email me at the address at the bottom of the screen!
Ron's introducing "Terminal City" in Toronto
Ron - "The band has donated this song to an upcoming benefit compilation to pay the legal bills
of those arrested in the Quebec City protest... so if you buy this CD, your money actually goes to a good cause, unlike when you buy one of our CD's and the money goes to alcohol and cocaine."
Lawrence - "We should mention that the proceeds of the CD do not help pay for everyone who has ever been arrested in Quebec... have you ever been to Hull on a Friday night?"
Before the band began to play in Toronto there were girls standing on chairs yelling something that sounded like "INXS" over and over again.
Lawrence - "We're not INXS, that guy died!"
Ron - "If there is one thing we learned from INXS, it is not to masturbate with a nylon around your
neck."
Lawrence - "Well, some of us haven't learned that, Ron"
(Much thanks to Rachel for submitting the above 2 quotes!)
Ron - "We have the new album for sale tonight, it's in the box Chris is holding... if we sell the whole box, we win a bike!"
For some reason, the talk turns to Britney Spears.
Ron - "This is not about hating Britney. In
fact, we're all wearing velcro pants on stage tonight
and we're going to do a show for you."
The guys start talking about the next song on the setlist, "Convenient"
Ron - "I was going to call the song 'Obstacle
Course Love'"
Mark and Derek laugh
Ron - "That sounds like a Phil Collins tune..."
Someone in the crowd takes offense and speaks up...
Ron - "This is not about hating..."
Mark plays some Phil drum beats and Lawrence sings some Phil music
Ron - "You know, sometimes I think about
Phil."
Lawrence - "Yeah, it helps you to hold out
longer."
Ron - "Hey!"
(Thanks to Sarah and her memory for submitting this one!)
Ron, Lawrence and Julie are about to play Turpentine
Ron - "This next one's kinda a country song"
Lawrence - We're going into the studio in a couple weeks to finish recording it for a CD coming out soon"
Ron - "Of course, most country music fans don't own a CD player yet!"
Julie shoots Ron a dirty look
"This next one's our new hit single. This song's gonna put my fucking kids through college!"
- Ron introducing Bite Down Hard in Hamilton
From the crowd: Play "Blur"!!!
Ron: Sorry, we don't know any songs by Blur
From the crowd:What about Song 2?
At this point Ron starts playing the rif from Song 2 by Blur and laughs.
(Much thanks to Rick for submitting this one!)
(Chris and Mark are talking during the intro to Pokerface)
Ron - "I'm trying to create art up here! Do you guys need to be sent on a timeout?"
Ron - "I'd just like to say that I'm not ignoring you people over there, it's just that there's a mirror on this side of the stage, and I can see myself. I watched the news on TV while eating a sandwich before coming here tonight. It said male eating disorders are on the rise. So, I have to ask: Does my ass look fat in these jeans?"
Ron - "The poster's supposed to say 'Everything He Ever Wrote Acoustic Revue'. Me & Lawrence were rehearsing and thought 'It doesn't say who 'he' is. What if we did 2 hours of Billy Joel songs? [singing] Play us a song, oh piano man..."
Lawrence - "If you take one thing with you from this night, remember: we didn't start the fire..."
Someone in crowd yells out"Play Black Monday!!"
Lawrence - "And so it begins..."
Ron - "The horror!!"
"This song's about appreciating the little things..."
[Begins to play, then says while still playing..]"It's also a quiet and artistic song, so those of you who are talking should fuck off."
Ron introducing (and playing) Small Victories in Toronto
"Small Victories is receiving some airplay right now (somewhere, but not here) and I'm now known as the Pee Guy. So when you see me on the street, you can yell "Hey Pee Guy!" and then I'll yell "Hey! Fuck off!!" -Ron
introducing Small Victories New year's Eve
"This song should be called "Hey Asshole! Don't break up with someone on Valentine's Day!"
- Ron introducing "St Valentines Day Massacre" on New Year's Eve
Ron - "This is my favorite Drifters song! Actually, they're playing down the road at Copps Coliseum tonight... yeah, they wish!"
[Lawrence says something I can't remember about Ron's Drifters remark]
Ron - "Actually, I may sound like an angry young punk, but I believe this is actually better than anything they ever did!"
Ron introducing Roja in Hamilton
Ron - "I, myself, and the Rusty Nails, we lead the high life when on the road... double cups on our Tim Horton's coffee, so we don't burn our artistic fingers"
Chris - "Hamilton is the home of Tim Hortons, the first one was here..."
Blitz - "But St. Catahrines has the highest number of donut shops per capita in the world. So you guys need to eat more donuts."
Lawrence - "And Victoria has the highest amount of Satanists per capita... And musicians are full of useless trivia!"
Ron - "Anyways, this is a song I wrote while on a honey-stick high, it's called Psycho Superstar"
Ron - "This is from our album, Greasing the Star Machine, which I'd like to announce has just gone polystyrene!"
Lawrence - "That's a step above tinfoil!"
Ron after telling a tale of trying to purchase 'tequiza' in Rochester, to a Buffalo crowd:
"But that would never happen in Buffalo, would it?"
[Crowd cheers]
"No, not here. Here, you would sell alcohol to toddlers!"
[More cheers]
"That would explain a lot. I think this is really an issue of fetal alcohol syndrome"
"We're not leaving until we've been in the mouth of each and every one of you!" - Ron to a university crowd (Stolen from Blitz's tour diary at ronhawkins.com).
"This is a song about... ah, who cares. This is called Crack Static" - Ron introducing Crack Static in Hamilton
"This is a song about being a rock star and your loved ones. I, myself, and us, collectively, have attained a certain level of success, to the point where my parents are asking me to move out." - Ron introducing Psycho Superstar in Hamilton
"Now we've come to the part of the show where we do a half-assed country set.. sorry, 'one cheeked' country set, for you minors out there" - Ron introducing Turpentine in Hamilton
Ron-"Any of you out there own a car?"
Some audience members cheer
Ron-"Fuck you!"
Chart-"The back cover of the album [The Secret of my Excess] shows you musing on the porcelain throne. Is that where you get your best inspiration?"
Ron-"Some people would say that's directly where I get my product from."
From Chart Magazine, April '96
Ron is talking about a Leafs game vs. his show:
Someone in audience-"There's no fight here!"
Ron-"There's an internal fight going on, because I'm an artist. A huge internal struggle every day. This is a song about that internal struggle..."
"I think this next one's kind of a country song. But I have a lot of friends who know about country music, and they say, 'No, you're an idiot! This has nothing to do with country music whatsoever!'
And you know what I say to them? 'Jizz Glazed Goo Guzzlers*'. That's what I say to them.
And then they walk away looking confused." - Ron introducing Turpentine in Toronto
* Ron was announcing porno titles in between songs during the night, and this was the title of an adult film the guys happened upon on tour.
"This is the song that skyrocketed us to one bedroom apartments and two meals a day" - Ron introducing a Low song at an acoustic show
"This is the song that my grandma says is gonna buy me a yacht" - Ron introducing Suffer Me in Kitchener
"Neil Peart wrote this next one, that's why it's so mystical and hard to understand" - Ron introducing Pokerface
Ron - "The Downchild Blues Band is playing down the road tonight, so all I have to say is 'Fuck the Downchild!'"
Blitz - "Isn't that a benefit show?"
Ron - "Oh, nevermind"
Ron explaining why nobody was at a show in Port Dover
[Main]
[News]
[Board]
[Shows]
[Quotes]
[Unreleased]
[Links]
[Drink]
[Photos]
[Band]
[Lists]
Questions? Comments?Email Me!