Lately, there has been all kinds of new music television stations rocking your TV's nation-wide.. Our satellite thang thang got a free preview of these new channels and I was (un)fortunate enough to enjoy these previews thanks to a shitty week where I was out of commission after getting my wisdom teeth out.. These music channels consist of: MuchMusic, Country Music Television, EdgeTV, MuchVibe, MuchMoreMusic, Black Entertainment Television, MTV Canada, and BPM-TV.. Here's my hip hip reviews of each.. BRACE YO'SELF!

MuchMusic
Alright.. So this isn't a new channel as you might have noticed.. But now that these other channels have come into effect, MuchMusic has slipped considerably.. I remember when I first got the satellite and got my first dose of MuchMusic.. The only thing I remember from those past times is Rebecca Rankin, licenced hottie.. When she left the station a while ago, my viewership dropped off HARSH.. Like whoa.. Nowadays, MuchMusic is only good for watching Britney Spears' I'm a Slave 4 U video.. A tasty specimen, she is.. The shows are pretty crappy.. Now that MuchVibe takes over RapCity and DaMix, hibbity hoppers have no need for MuchMusic (except for afformentioned titty video).. The only decent show on is Much Loud, for all the metal boys and girls up in the place.. R U Receiving is usually decent for a couple techno tracks, but it only comes on once a month and is usually taken out in favour of showing some retarded awards show from 8 years ago.. Electric Circus is crap, and there is only a sparse number of hotties.. So this channel is really only good for catching a couple good videos with some hot chicks in them.. NEXT!

MuchMoreMusic
Uh.. I don't watch this channel.. I suppose it would be okay for a couple funny retro songs but I really don't know.. I think they might have some specials on some decent bands like Pink Floyd or something.. But on the whole, I will assume it sucks..

Country Music Television
I don't enjoy the country tunes so I don't really watch it.. Although I will admit that some of the country girlies are hot.. Shania is okay but she needs to show some more skin.. Faith Hill is worthy of some tappy.. There are some other unknown broads who are decent, but nothing that makes me want to sit through more than one video for..

Black Entertainment Television
I have a problem with this station.. As you know, I am a pale black man, so I should like this station.. BET used to be cool.. When we first got the satellite, we had BET for a bit.. And they played rap videos.. It was my only alternative to MuchMusic.. I enjoyed the BET.. Except for that dude who goes out on the street and talks to people.. I don't like him.. The only reason I can bare to speak of him is because he plays I Need Money in the How High movie, which I think will be the shizzle.. But I digress.. So BET went away for a long time, apparently to die.. When the new channels came into effect, we also got BET back.. And it sucked.. I know it's a ENTERTAINMENT station and not a MUSIC station, but what the fuck happened? There's only two music shows that I saw, and one is that 106 and Park deal.. It's okay but the hosts are annoying.. I saw one thing called "freestyle fridays", where 2 unknown emcees battle it out.. The freestyle I saw was really good, but I don't know if it's consistantly good.. A lot of the times I flipped to BET I saw infomercials or gospel shows or some shit.. It was horrible.. But then there was Def Comedy Jam.. Sometimes the guys were funny, sometimes they weren't.. Regardless, the audience fucking loved it.. But that's cool, because the audience is normally filled with blazingly hot females.. I likes the boobies.. So I would normally be able to watch the entire show, unless there was something else cool on.. It's really hit or miss with BET..

BPM-TV
Now I likes the techno music.. I'm a straight man who likes the techno, the drum and bass, the breakbeat, the everything else.. I don't like the dance music though.. But BPM would play a bit of good ish, and a bit of dance ish.. So I was sort of neutral on it.. The problem with this station which makes it shit, is that it repeats itself too often.. It's disgusting.. I saw the same damn DJ interviews 3 or 4 times, and it would be the same damn videos.. I think they only made about 5 days worth of video and just keep playing that shit over and over.. I liked them because they played a few good videos that never get played, but then it just got old.. And they play a lot of shit too.. Bah..

Edge TV
This station is cool.. It's the music station for Edge 102.1, the station I usually listen to.. So snatchurally, a lot of the EdgeTV content was hip hip.. And what EdgeTV has on the other stations is that IT PLAYS VIDEOS ALL THE TIME.. The more videos the better.. Usually the shows consist of normal video playing or the New Rock 30 (charts)..For those who aren't familiar with the Edge, it plays hard rock and alternative, with metal and punk on the side.. It's decent..

MuchVibe
Excuse me as I kiss the sky.. Since my weapon of choice is hip hop, I likes the MuchVibe.. The shows? RapCity, Vibe, VintageVibe and DaMix.. DaMix is okay, it sometimes has some good live specials (I saw the Swollen Members and Redman on it), but it's usually filled with R'n'B tracks.. The best shows are RapCity and Vibe, where it's pretty much just all hip hop and rap videos.. Sometimes the odd R'n'B song would fly in there, and you'd still have to put up with some shitty videos, but overall, they were quality.. VintageVibe was cool at the start, because they played some good/funny old school hip hop, but later on I tried to avoid that show.. That was unfortunate, because the station is usually split between VintageVibe and Vibe.. But the number of quality videos I saw far outnumbered the other stations, and I watched it the most by far.. And I saw a special for the making of the movie HOW HIGH, which I am highly anticipating.. *thumbs up*

MTV Canada
Bah.. It's okay.. It's a Canadian version of MTV, as you might well have already guessed.. Canadians are able to watch some of what our American brothers and sisters do, like MTV CRIBS!! Yeah, well it's not all that spectacular.. I did end up seeing Redman's apartment where he cooked up Malpractice though.. That was pretty funny ish.. Yeah so what else? Uh.. The only other show I recall viewing is that live one hosted by the blonde dude.. It's okay I suppose.. That's where the videos usually came from.. But it's pretty much just MuchMusic with different hosts and some other crappy non-music shows..