Colors Of Trust Poetry Archive

To Please Her....  

Slow...
Dark...
Deep...
Sensuality
in all things
time passes
but slowly
and is not important
beneath my hands,
before my eyes....
The sensations...
the pleasure...
That is what matters.
To please
her...
That is
what proves
most
satisfying...
scents, 
sounds
tastes....
Beautiful eyes
and smoothe 
soft
sensitive
skin....
When time 
slows
and senses
are heightened
and breaths 
come from deep
within,
and hearts pound
a counterpoint...
a single touch 
of hand to 
cheek
brushing a hair 
from her eyes
and then gazing 
into them
deeply...
sighing....
Kissing softly
a perfect neck....
Caressing...
Holding her
safely
in strong arms...
Rocking
and
singing
to
sleep....
.Sno-Balls(t)  

a coupla days ago
i went to the vending machine 
at work
and picked up a packet
of Sno-Balls(t)
these things
made by Hostess (t)
with chocolate cake and cream,
covered by a thick layer
of marshmallow
and then coated
in coconut.
took it out of the machine
and squeezed it
(To get it past the door)
a surprise.
those things feel
an awful lot 
like breasts

Now, being a guy
who is somewhat more into
shoulders
than breasts
and brains
than shoulders,
this wasn't a terribly huge deal to me
but even so
I thought I'd share.
at any rate
for whatever reason
I think that
from now on
a Snowball
will always make me think
of...
something
sexual.


.two lions 

two lions
in the grass
one purrs
the other sleeps.
which one did the 
leopard 
stalk?

A wolf
	in lion's
		clothing.



.No Olympus This  

Alone.
So alone.
Even Man
Lowly Man
has Woman
and Friend.
Equals
I created.
No Olympus 
this
Heaven.
Galaxies
have each
other.
One word
is truly many;
companions.
No Olympus
this.
No room here 
for another
like 
me.
No equal.
Watching
Insects
crawl
no longer 
suffices.
They are not
Alone.
But is companionship
worth the cost?
To create an equal...
and Die...?
No room here for two.
No Olympus,
This.
Omnipotent
But 
Impotent.
For a moment...
to gaze into
Another's
Eyes...
My own,
but not...
As I die...
In that 
final
moment
to share....
Ha!  To think...
mortals
envy me!
No Olympus
this.
The awful price
of Power.
Am I willing 
to pay 
it?
Or even the price
to lose it?
Give up 
My Supremacy?
For 
Another?
Or end it
Forever,
fade 
away
into the mists?
No Olympus 
This
But...
It could be...
Weaken myself,
Lose my 
Omnipotence
and Then create
an equal
who
can exist
Beside my 
Lesser
self.
Or a hundred, 
A thousand?
Olympus
this?

But...
to reduce myself, 
to be less 
than I truly am
for any reason....
Could I?
Should I?
No Olympus 
this.
No feasts
of Nectar and
Ambrosia.
No debates
of equals with
equals.
No contests
to prove one's 
worth.
No Olympus 
This.

So Alone.... 


.Monkeys  

Immersed in time the monkey stands	
he holds his head in bleeding hands
and tries his best to make amends

For monkeys see what monkeys do
and monkeys cry I tell you true
for monkeys die as all things do

Heard not saw not spoke ... not yet
but sometimes monkeys know regret
as often monkeys can't forget

Yes, often monkeys don't forget
that monkeys die as all things do
but sometimes monkeys make amends 
for all the things that monkeys do....
.Zen Death Poetry 1
 
Raven
and hummingbird
Dance.
 .Zen Death Poetry 2

 Ephemeral 
 is 
 Life.
 
.Zen Death Poetry 3

 Irony:
 The true Master
 of the Universe,
 
.Zen Death Poetry 4
 A Butterfly's
 Wings 
 In motion
 [Cause of Death]
 

.Zen Death Poetry 5
 I raise my sword 
 to fight my fate.
 The blade has broken off.
 
.Zen Death Poetry 6

 The snow rises
 The stars fall.
 
.Zen Death Poetry 7
 Cut the falling leaves
 before they can protest
 cut again.
 
.Zen Death Poetry 8

 Ultimate weakness
 and I surrender....
 Katsu!!!
 

.Zen Death Poetry 9 

In this final moment
 my body decaying
 my future seems so bright.
 
.Zen Death Poetry 10
 To think--
 nothing.
 To know--
 nothing.
 To be--
 nothing.
 Wisdom's 
 Wings
 enfold.....
 
.Zen Death Poetry 11
 Surrender
   for victory
 Submit
   to rule.
 

.February 14, 1997.  Staring at a countertop 
at Barnes and Noble.

Fade 
and 
Focus
Sight 
Unseen
Blurred,
the Mottled 
Colors of a life
collapsed
(Nearsighted
Or
Impressionist?)
Are lovely.
Beauty 
is best 
perceived
by the 
Ignorant
or 
Uncaring
(A midden
has its
wonder
for those
without
smells
sense.)



.Try a little Blasphemy  

Demonspawn
Sentience 
immersed
in tokens 
of
love
and floral
affection
(or was it
Affectation?)
Seems like
Sims like
Seamen's	
Semen
Semaphoric
Sentinal
Survives.
BLASPHEMER!!!

.too much wine tonight  

All in all
Or all in one
Or all for one
The question lies.
Transitory moments of
Lucidity
Mask
Madness
and Mania



.Unkind AOL Poem  

Oh masterminds of AOL,
Be true to us, be true!
Why not put someone with a brain
In charge, instead of you???

Someone who will not make us sick
And will not make us cry,
One who won't make our systems crash
until we want to die.

So please, please someone on the web,
bring us a wondrous thing
a person who can fix this mess
so we won't curse, but sing!


.321 or Three to One  

Although it may seem foolish
although it be not wise
No star or sea or season
or sunset in the skies
or splendour beyond splendour
compares, to me, your eyes.

As snowy crystals cling to it
it seems to me more fair
than locks of gold or ebon hues 
that make fools compliment and stare--
the shimm'ring shining shantung silk
of auburn rich, your hair.

What gods could melt the Winter snow
And, laughing all the while
ignite a flaming Lover's Glow
with flourishes of style
what else could make such wonder grow
But the magic of your smile


.A Family Poem  

Whassamottau?
A!
welcome to the mob
break your kneecaps
Sicilian necktie
for free
Whassamottau
emerging from thick- or
no-necked gorillas
in dark sweatstained suits
with bulges where no muscle group lies
do it for the family
The Family
Family
favors
free
always
always
always
remember the
price
because even if you
forget
they
won't
and trusta mia, you'lla remember
too
if you live long
enough
how long will it take?
how long you got?
the rest of your life.

end of discussion



.Godlike in my Arrogance 

I call upon the wind, and it rages.
With a wave of my hand, winter is spring
and snow rain, if I so command.
I bring the moon at night
and the sun by day
Or hold them out
If I so desire.
With a blink of my eye, raging waters calm
and the land heaves like the sea
With a thought I can kill,
or Heal, or erase you from existence.
When I whisper the Universe stills to hear
When I shout it touches no one
Or Breaks the World, if I prefer
With a glance I can rip a mind from a body
and make both mine
My call could shatter the moon.
My song could save the earth
or anything between or beyond
if I wish it
I can fly through the air 
or swim to the ocean floor
I can tunnel through the earth
or make my way through space.
I can do all these things and more
on a whim
can you?
Well, not everyone can be a god...
Boring, isn't it.


.an idiotic overabundance of assonance 

an inordinate degree of decay
due to the inordinate degree of Kelvin's joy
or perhaps the inordinate decay of degrees.
insecure in this day and night and time
of twilight lives and inequities incense
"incompetent imbecile!"
"insane idiot!"
irrelevancies increase in indistinct
and somehow irreverent inscrutability's
insofar as this inquisitions' inquiry is likely
to penetrate
with insomniac intern internuncio
interjecting in inadequate interims
(is it instead interludes?)
inane it is, in any case
intermittent interminability
includes, is interspersed in
and interpenetrates

infinity

(interrupting interjection -- iiiicccchhhh!)


.a Headache, or a Heartache... You decide. 

no peace
slumber stems 
the flow 
some
never
enough.
even dreams
hurt
waking up
pain
losing consciousness
holding pain
waves 
ebb
flow
stronger
weaker
always 
there
unceasing
oh
gods
not
a-
gain


.Wherefore Comes Time? 

Wherefore Comes 
Time?
Time to speak
Or to Drink
or to Die?
How should I know?
After all,
I, where I should have 
had
"had had" 
had had
"had"
"had had"
had had 
a better effect 
in the rewrites
but still wasn't worth
another 
chance
much like 
me.


.The Morning After our Date  

My darling Kimberly --

Last night...

Was wonderful....
I am so sorry I had to go.
I wanted to talk to you forever...
but I had to...
I had to leave. Please forgive me....
What happened last night was amazing...
I get chills just thinking about it
and you
when we danced...
when we laughed....
You are a part of my soul now.....
and I am a part of yours

aren't I?

This is so unbelievable.....
If it weren't for the fact that I found you 
instead of the other way around
I would think
it was
a setup, a game,
something someone was doing to me....
There cannot really be anyone like you...
can there?

But there is...
and life smiles
my sun
my moon
my stars....

I hate that you 
may hurt from this
and apologize for
any trouble 
I have caused

I hope we can still speak
and love...
I feel as if you are 
feeling 
guilty right now
because of 
your other
love.....
I hurt along with you...
It kills me inside that
I am a part of this pain
but I cannot help it now....
I am....

Or perhaps there is no hurt
perhaps you are strong enough
to love two men at once
and not feel torn...
If anyone is, it is you...

I do not want this to end 
after only one night.
I want this to go on forever....
Don't you?

The heavens fell last night
and I saw only you...
the stars rained down 
like the rose petals 
I shook free so gently
into your hair and 
into your dress...
They burned like your breath 
against my neck
and like my fingertips
that felt your heart
beating....
beating...
beating...

in time with mine
in time with yours...

.D.  O.  A.  

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and stormy night?

Hair black as the fledgeling crow
silken skin so soft and white	
Heart that's still more warm than those
Who yet must pass the night.

Lips like rosebuds, ripe and red.
Eyes of early em'ralds shine.
Without you, cold, I lie in bed,
Wond'ring, softly asking , "Why?"

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and stormy night?

The sun smiled soft that tranquil eve
the birdsong filled my heart
I looked upon my destiny
as if the world would part

The stars shone down to please my soul
the wind blew to caress me
Majestic look, such poise, control
I shut my eyes to see, to see.

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why are you not here with me
This dark and stormy night?

The sun beat brows that hateful day
the hot wind lashed in pois'nous wrath.
The last sweet words I e'er heard say
were uttered soft "I'll be right back"

And then...  The scream.  It will not stop.
It's ringing through my ears at night.
"the guy was Drunk," so spoke the cop
and suddenly... there was no light.

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why are you not near to me
This dark and windswept night?

A voice from High was speaking clear
In words I couldn't bear to hear
It wasn't sadness, pain, or fear
that made me disregard this seer.

Dust to Dust, Dust to Dust
deeper down in Mother Earth.
Free of all -- sin hate and lust
Destiny was doomed at birth


Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and stormy night?

he asked me to look and there I stared.
I looked so hard I couldn't see.
The gaze they call the "Dead Man's Glare"
was now fixed fast on living me.

It's getting kind of hard to wait
she really should be here by now
I'm so confused -- she's never late
and yet...  Two hours?  Could this be? How?

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and stormy night?

With a tearful scream of rage 
I pull the albums off the shelf
Tearing mem'ries off each page
'till all that's left is me... myself....

I yell and fume and shriek in loss
a wounded beast with fearful madness
I wail with stricken, sobbing heart
and fall with crying, tearful sadness.

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and lonely night?

It isn't fair.  It Isn't Fair!!!
Why her... Why now... Why this... Why there!
What is it, God?  Do you not care
For how your many people fare!!!

What kind of Savior do you be
If not the kind that's kind to me?
Who takes my only love from me
Will ever be my Enemy!

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why are you so far from me
This dark and stormy night?

I'll be all right, someday, I think
It's easier when I know there's peace...
She's happy evermore, I think
enjoying forever her sorrows release.

It will be all right, if I keep up hope
Someday I'll get past the pain.
Someday if I keep up hope
From all of this I'll have to gain.

Ivory and Ebony,
White and Black and White.
Why can you not be with me
This dark and stormy night?

upon a slab of marble pink
a rose with petals white as snow.
A tribute to the earth, I think
as I turn around and, hesitating, go.

.A little bit of Doggerel  

Oh where oh where has my Kimberly gone	
oh where oh where can she be?
With her skin so soft and her legs so long, 
oh where oh where can she be?
Her red hair glistens beneath the moon
Her green eyes sparkle like stars
I love her so much It must be wrong
Oh where oh Where can she be....


.Rapid Rallentando Run 

I saw a silver breath wind spell
as naked in the sand swept sun
it twined and twisted and tossed to tell
of Rapid Rallentando Run

Of Rapid Rallentando Run
Where all the great shall go to grey
In Rapid Rallentando run
where shining sequins fade away...

Where heavenly bodies turn to dust
and famous faces fade
And golden statues start to rust
beneath the shade

The home of goddesses of love
Where endings end without a sigh
It only takes a glance to prove
The land where giants come to die

That Rapid Rallentando Run
Where closing Chords all sound the same
Where life lays bleached by noonday sun
Where actors go to end the game.

.A Fool's Heart  

Pity the fool who lives by his heart
The fool who believes
The fool
Is a fool
Who lives by his heart
I was right, before....
Lock the doors, 
Shutter the windows,
Seal it inside.
Refuse to feel
and to be felt.
No Heart,
No Soul,
No Poetry,
No Fire....
Let it die.
Let it die.
Let it die.
Cold
Void
Detached
Distant
Dead.
Why can't I go back there...?
Why can't I let my soul die again...
I was almost there....
Almost...
There....
And then I met her.
She woke me.
I was born again
When she spoke
When she listened
With her I could Be.
Why is it?
Why, when my soul 
Lies dying and I am ready 
To welcome
My Lady at last,
My lady Death
Not of body but of soul
Her cold embrace
surrounding me
Welcoming...
And then... 
Awakened...
by one I never though to meet
But Found
The same...
When the student is ready 
The teacher will appear
is it the same for souls
and their mates???
She came into my life
And I came into hers
and Life was good
for a while....
Timing.
Irony is 
The True
Master
of the
Universe.
For I found her
and she loved me
and I loved her 
and she loved me 
And I Loved her
and She Loved... Another...
So great a heart has room for two
And two reside within it
Myself and He
Her Other
Her Intended
from Before...
We met days after
His knee was bent
Days!
Only 3 or 4 months earlier
and this page
would not be grey....
This page would not BE.
But now...
She loves me
she loves him
I love her
He loves her
She will choose him.  
She knows him
I am a mystery
She knows him
I am an enigma
She knows him
And I am a question.
She explored the universe with me
But she has explored her city with him
We have touched each other's Souls
But they have touched each others bodies.
We have gazed into each other's minds
But they have seen each other's faces
We are one
But they are two, together.
Perhaps I am mistaken....
Perhaps she will choose me...
Perhaps the gods will Smile 
On me
and on us
and more importantly
one Goddess...
My Kimberly...
My Love...
The Fire that sparked
My Soul....
The Light that fills my 
Eyes....
I wish...
I hope...
I dream....
(Do Demons Dream?
"The Pride of God,"
She called me.)
I will come to her if she but asks.
I will cross a continent...
or a Universe...
for Her....
How many Mates 
can a soul have?
How many Souls
have a mate?
If she is the one for me
and she slips through my fingers
What can I do?
What is there for me,
but to return...
return to my self-imposed
prison
a cage within my soul
without doors or windows
locked within.
Sand slips through
the hand which grasps
the hand relaxed
stays full.
Wish me Luck, my friends....


.An Old Friend, An Old Enemy 

We talk 
about 
Nothing 
and 
Nothing 
else
Whenever
IM-
POR-
TANT
Issues arise
She gets this
terrified
look in her
gorgeous
beautiful
exquisite
wonderful
perfectly 
lovable
eyes
and 
I 
stop.
I get
scared,
too,
some-
times.
Like
when I get mad
At her
and want to 
Ask her 
Why she did 
such Foolish things
and Hurt
Her
Self
A-
gain
Hurting me as well.
I
stop.

.Knight

How on earth can I
help
her
when she will not
help
her
self
I want to heal
But 
Healing
Hurts and
I 
could Never
Hurt
Her.
Why do I 
do this
to my
self?
I feel like a 
character in a 
badly written musical.
or a 
talk show
guest.
A knight with tinfoil
sword and shield.
Or the nice guy that
the parents love but
the teenage viewers 
boo.


.The Cafe Eclectic

I'm not going to read
my poetry
for a bunch of godsbedamned
lowlife scum.
What right do they have
to reap my effort?
It's my poetry.
I wrote it.
By what standard
Do they claim
This privilege, yes, privilege
which not even Odin or Cæser or Trump
Dares ask, which they claim
as their just due???
What fools to think that
I would
Submit
To their childish demands.

But love... ah yes, love.
There's the Problem and 
Solution.
How to resist those eyes, 
that smile, that heart,
that mind, that soul.
My only weakness, my
Greatest
Strength.
She asks, I submit.  May
you all
Choke upon it,
Vermin.

.Reminder

Following in the 
Foot
Steps
of 
Genius
Riding upon the
Shoulders of
the Gods
the shortest path
from peak to peak
is a single step.
Long
Legs
Required.


.An Open Letter to Kimberly 

Kimberly....

I love you.
Please don't be mad at me because of that.
I love you.
I cannot change that.
I love you.
You are the most amazing person I have ever met.
I love you.
Please don't hate me.
I only wanted to know when, not if or why
You wed 
I understand that when you make a commitment you stick to it and honor it.
And you would never marry someone who was not perfect for you
And Keep your promises.
I understand and respect that.
It is one of the things I love about you.
If you couldn't hold to that, 
You wouldn't be the one I love....
I DON'T want to end what we DO have between us
But it will end in one way, I think, on the day you marry.
And that is why I asked
When?  When?  When?  When?  When?
How much longer do we have
before it must die
before the flame must be damped down
to the dull inferno
of friendship alone?
I will not wait for you, Kimberly.
That wouldn't be fair to you
or to me.
But neither will I settle 
for anyone less than you.
And there can't be many more
out there
as wonderful as you.
I just want to meet you face to face before
the curtain falls down between us
I will fly to the other end of the world 
for one kiss
from you
a kiss goodnight
a kiss good-bye
Not of leaving forever
but leaving what was
I will not wait for you
but i will wait for someone
as wonderful
if it takes a thousand years
and that someone is you
(for whatever reason)
then life is good
to me.
If not, I can go into the night
Knowing that once
just once
"For One Brief, Shining Moment"
I was loved 
By you.
The most wonderful and 
Perfect woman
I have never met.
I love you, Kimberly....

I kiss your eyes,
Josh


.Furball  

I look down, smiling....
What exactly
do you want here?
You bite the hand that feeds you
and then the other one as well
for good measure.
And then you let me know
how much you love me
and that you want 
to be loved?
And to play?
You wake me up 
with noise
and if that does not work,
by physical means
when I prefer to sleep
and then
you do not tell me 
why.

Today, it is my turn, sir.
Today, I bite you,
today I jump on your face
to wake you up!
He smiles
and yawns
and curls up on my lap
and goes to sleep
purring.
I scratch his ears
and pet his back
and join him
in blissful
sleep....


.3000 Miles 

I flew 
Three thousand miles
to see your face,
your smile...
I would have walked it...
crawled...
so much did I desire it --
and you....
Never 
would I have 
believed
in a thousand 
thousand
thousand years
without this journey....
My heart...
You are so...
Perfect...
I love you 
and you...
Love me....
We touched
for the thousandth time, 
but the first...
And My Heart SANG!!!
And our thousandth touch
or so
our last
(perhaps....)
true kiss....
You feel 
so wonderful
and I feel the same....
And now,
Alone
among strangers
I remember...
listening
to your heart racing
my ear against
a rose...
A purple rose
so soft....
My sun
My moon
My thousand thousand points
of Light....
My universe
My starry night....


.Goddess

At a loss...
at a loss to describe....
How to describe
such beauty...?
My heart....
I never imagined....
Could not conceive
Until I saw you....
No words
suffice,
photographs fall 
short....
Never a mortal 
looked so....
A classic 
Beauty
beyond
classics....
It took a 
goddess
to show me....
Atop a mountain
frozen for three
thousand
years.
Your face...
your hands...
your legs...
your breasts....
the entirety of you
in marble.
Lovingly formed
by hands
that knew you not
yet knew...
each curve,
each line,
your flesh
his stone
unite.
I gazed upon
three thousand 
years...
Three thousand 
miles...
and more.
I see in stone 
those lips I touched,
the cheek I brushed...
the eyelids which
I kissed
so softly...
Hard here....
Frozen 
in their perfection
but not 
in your perfection....
These...
Lovely statues,
these replicas
of your beauty, 
these...
lumps
of cold
and lifeless stone
fall 
short 
of you... 
far short....
No marble,
no stone
could be more than a suggestion,
an illusion
of your softness...
destined to disappoint....
Any mere facsimile
delights to be sure...
yet fails to pass
the telling test...
a soft curve,
not soft.
Soft skin,
unyielding.
Warm hands
cold and stiff...
Beneath your 
perfect 
breasts
a strong heart beats
not...
Ultimately
unsatisfactory.
Perhaps it is
not the 
similarities
but the differences
which surprise 
me more
How could any
Artist, 
seeing you,
fail to respond...?
But how could they 
fail so 

in their response?
A masterwork 
to be sure,
but 
not 
adequate
to describe,
to fully relate
the true experience
that is you....
But is this not
in the end,
the sorrow 
of all artists?
No artists brush
nor poets pen, 
no sculptor 
with chisel
could ever compare
could never even
begin
to compete
with Life,
the greatest artist
of all...
Let alone, 
in you....
Its 
Masterwork...
My Love...
My heart....
even now...
at a loss to describe...
my heart...
I love you...
I kneel,
and kiss your hands
in supplication
and Worship...
My heart....
Light! 


.A Song  

The drums
Pulse
a primal 
rhythm
in time with
my heart
slow
and
deep...
the strings...
Sing...
in tune with my soul,
flying
Looking down in wonder
upon the universe...
the piano,
a complex melody
mimics my mind...
A thousand thoughts
a thousand notes
some wonderful
some horrible
many complement
many contradict....
a music
too close
to my being...
the voice...
what is this Voice?
Is it mine?
Or is it yours...?
Or are they one, 
my Heart?
My darling
Kimberly....
We breathed
each others
breath...
We touched
each others
souls...
We shared 
each other's 
Dreams....
Why not
a 
voice?
My love...
I kiss your
eyes....
I hold your hands
in mine
and draw
closer
as slumber
claims
us
both...
Sleep well
and
Wake.... 


.No Stars in This Sky 

In this Westernmost sky
there are no stars
a blank grey and orange
reflection of the fires
of man
the stars of man
his technology
hide the skies....
Most of all
I miss them....
To gaze 
heavenward
and see
a million 
points of 
light
in a velvet
midnight
sky...
rather than 
this muddy sight
of bright L.A.
Not homesick, 
really
but sick 
nonetheless
homesick 
for a home
I have never
known
nor seen....
For someplace
some time
something
REAL....
Someplace with
FIRE
and SOUL....
Out here,
my Sun,
my Moon,
my Stars... 
all in one,
my Kimberly...
my dearest
love
is gone
A total eclipse
of Kimberly?
Gone for the weekend....
Days wasted, 
yet not, 
for I Did see 
her,
We Did touch
We Did kiss
We Did love...
I miss you tonight
my love
my heart...
Will we 
meet 
again
before 
I fly
away
upon the
Tides 
of Time?
If nowhere 
else,
always there are
Dreams...
I wish us both Sweet ones....
Ciao, bela....
I love you...
Good
Night.... 


.A Single Star   

There is something about
California
that brings
inspiration
maybe its because
I do my best writing
(or at least, 
I am most 
prolific)
when I am in a 
Foul Mood.
On the whole, 
I don't much 
like it here....
I can find 
all the benefits
elsewhere
and none of
the palm trees
and smog
and starless
skies
that I 
tired
so quickly of....
And perhaps
in another place
beneath a starry
sky
there is one
like 
my Kimberly...
but one
who knows
for certain
what she wants
and who
and finds
this
humble
poet
to be the answer 
to both....
If there were but 
a single
star
in this sky....
That would be
my wish....


.No Good Byes  

Why
couldn't
we say
good bye?
It would have been
so much
easier
for both of us...
to close the doors
on a chapter of our lives.
It was clear
after that first day...
that first night...
that we could
not be
Just 
Friends....
There was too
much
between us.
Perhaps this way is
easier
for you.
But not for me.
I could
have been
your friend, 
Cherishing
the memory
without
requiring
continuance...
but you...
must love so strongly....
and He must
come first....
I wish we could have
said Good Bye...
Knowing with 
certainty
that it would be 
the last
time...
I could have
walked away,
smiling at the
memories of
what had been,
and wept that night
for what had been
lost.
Instead I float
in a sea of
uncertainty...
but still, 
it hurts...
and I hurt...
Perhaps
Tomorrow...
yes...
Tomorrow....
Whether you 
can hear me
or not, my heart...
Tonight
is my
farewell....
Tomorrow
the Sun Rises
on a New 
Day....
Goodbye, Kimberly....
You will always
hold a place
in my heart....
My Sun...
My Moon...
My....
Stars....
Sleep well 
and dream...
Perhaps...
Our dreams
will meet
and meld
one...
last...
Time...
Tonight....
And we can say
our
good byes....
I love you,
Kimberly.
Fare well....


.Games.... 

Cannibal eyes
and secretive mind.
Tenderness bleeding from
Hearts of Soap
and Jewels.


.Entropy  

Porcelain kitten smashed
lonely fragments forgotten
Ground to dust
all things end in time.


.Synthesis 

Between the extremities
And within them
Forged by the turbulence
of their interaction
is greatness
terrible or wonderful
Tornado or Aurora
Love and Hate
Genius and Insanity.
The Doorway into Asgard.




.The Paisley Prophet 

We bid welcome this day
to a glorious guest,
a Prophet of note and 
A wandering pest
The Prophet of Paisley
The wisest, the best....

"Greece!  Ancient land well known
for wonders and wine
For beautiful women
and smashing good times
for wars by the hundreds
and unpunished crimes....

For Ideal and Concrete
and other minds game
for Olives and Titans
In Garlands of flame
Olympus residing
They went and they came...."

The Prophet of Paisley --
a madman some say....
It's certain his mind
often comes out to play
But it's fun for the children,
Oh, Hip Hip Hooray!


.My Godhood Approaches...   

The Sunlight
plays on the dust
a Universe
at my hand,
stars and planets
float 
and 
fall 
before 
me
Certainty 
is mine
My Godhood 
approaches....
I clutch my hand
Upon a galaxy
and shake the stars
from my fingers
like so
much 
dust....

.A Laugh

It bubbles 
up
from deep 
within 
my soul
an evil 
laugh
Humor at 
my own
folly?
Pleasure at 
my own
delight?
The creeping 
edge
of insanity?


.the novel cafe, Venice CA   

The air
here
is dead
no energy
flows
no inspiration
nothing
but 
annoyance.



.A Cup of Sleep   
--the coup de grace for F.M.  

Just
a little something
in the wine
to help you sleep
my friend....

to put to rest
the demons
in your head.

Sleep...
Dream....
and when the Wheel
Turns
we shall meet
again
in a happier
place.


.Overkill 

in one week's time
i wrote 
more poems
than many write
in a year, 
and most
in a lifetime.
maybe that's why
my pens are all dry
and my 
Muse
seems to have acquired
the hiccups


.Big, Lazy, Lion 

A big lazy lion
lying in the grass.
His mate
is out hunting
and a leopard
stalks 
him...

How many predators
would seek 
such mighty 
prey?
How many lady lions
will the leopard
scare away?

The lazy alpha lion
sleeps and dreams 
of golden mane
of his alpha mate
alone
and wild
and free....

But lion-hunting
leopards
make 
an interesting
curiosity.


.Accordance 

so hot	
	so hot
hot without
		hot within
let me take you
			take me
beneath the waterfall
		cool sweet water
surrender
	surrender



.A Joke  

"The dead
watch.
The dead 
never close
their eyes....
But why 
do they not
Speak??? "
A joke, certainly
from the voice 
in my mind
the voice 
of a man
three thousand years
dead.


.anger  

I am so angry right now
I could bite
a nail 
in half
volcanic
supernovaec
draconic
rage
clouds me
in billowing
wreathes
of Fire.


.bad mood poem 

yes

no

yes

no

i want to

i can't

i want to

i can't


MAKE UP YOUR MIND YOU BLOODY THIEVING BROKENHEARTED WENCH!!!



.Where have all the flowers gone?   

What 
is a flower garden
when all 
the the flowers
are gone?
Picked
or 
Died...
what then?
I know the answer...
It is a quiet
outdoor cafe
in Westwood
California
at 10:54 pm
where 
no more 
flowers
bloom.


.Interlude 37 

Why do you tremble
so...?
Is it the cold?
Or something else?
Anticipation,
perhaps....


.Void 

cold theheart
cold the mind
cold the gaze
a frozen soul
heavy features
heavy heart
someone else...
anothers body
anothers form
anothers pain
which i control
myself...
surrounded in the Void
i float

."To a blonde woman, quite attractive, 
at the corner table on the second floor 
of Anastasia's Asylum"

simple things...
simple pleasures
black and white
and blonde
on green...
touched 
with silver...
a smile....
Dark eyes...
relaxed grace....
Simple pleasures, 
Simple things....
A smile
for a simple
poet's
inspiration....



.Oh Yeah Baby!!!   

Oh yeah....
That feels so...
so Good....
Stroke it baby...
Slide your hands
across that thing...
Up and down....
Oh, Yeah!!!
Pluck and strum it,
press, release
and BLOW!!!
Crash
Slam
Thankyou
my friends
a little jazz
is just what I
need
tonight.

.an interlude...  

Adrift
tonight
am I....
Alone, lost...
awaiting the return
of real life
and dreading it....



.How appropriate...  

Gentlemen!
Start your egos!
How appropriate
a line
an sunny days
and starless 
nights
beneath the
ever
present
L.A. smog....


.To Sablianna, and of course Bubbles...  

A monkey hanging from a tree

looks down at you and up at me

for you are chained while I am free.


.Lucy  

The tender
delicate
caress...
a soft sound,
a buzzing murmur....
A feather light 
kiss
barely felt
grows more 
noticeable
as it penetrates
more deeply.
As steel scrapes
Bone through
Flesh...
And the chain saw
makes another pass....



.thoughts of hank chinaski 

I was walking
up the street last
thursday
and said 
to myself
"what the 
hell am I doing...?"
I didn't answer.
I guess I didn't know.
But the whores
and the grocery clerks
in bukland
knew...
yes, they knew me...
how could they
not?
my brothers
and sisters
in
misery....


.thoughts on Nicole...  

Back home
I have a 
friend
named Nicole.
She's a 
cute one,
she is....
I wouldn't 
mind
taking her 
out
on a walk
beneath
the stars....
No stars here...
just 
palm 
trees.



.Thinking about Christine...  

On the other side
of the world
or so it
seems
I spare 
a brief 
moment
for an
old friend
an old foe...
a mistake,
yes,
but also 
a forge
to shape
and form
and temper
my being...
Do you see the stars 
tonight, Christine?
Do your eyes
still sparkle
below the
moon?
Still I wonder
who you
could have
been...
and me....
At times I wish
we could meet again
for the first time
and learn one
another
anew....
I wonder
and smile
at the folly
of youthful 
dreams
and the foolishness
of some fantasies...
Tonight I am
so happy
for 
three thousand
miles...
between us...
sleep well this night,
Christine....
Sleep
well....


.Rouge  

If ever
there were created
intentional proof
of the physical
and Real
presence of
Good and 
Evil,
Hell
and Heaven
on Earth
it is 
women 
with Red 
hair...
agony 
coupled
with ecstasy
to produce
these
fire headed
angels...
and they 
produce 
their creators
in turn....

.where?  

There
where the sound
becomes 
silent
where 
noise 
becomes
peace
where 
the wind
ceases 
its vibration
that place, 
that moment,
that infinite
microsecond
before 
silence is born
and after sound
dies
There
is the moment
There is Creation,
Inspiration,
Birth,
Death,
The key to all
equations
all things
in time
and in 
life
the wall 
shatters
and the Fire
is Mine.

.one thing about Cali... 

I will
miss all these
beautiful
asian women...
so few
at home 
in the snowy 
wastes...



.A girl at Lulu's alibi 

To
study...
even as one studies
so does another
though subjects
differ, ones subject
is anothers...
a soft line...
two pens scratch
upon sheets of white
one writes this
another that
both write
both right....
soft light...
soft hair...
shine together 
as one....
Translucent  skin
glows softly
still....
A slow smile...
one who studies
wishes luck
to the other...
May you do well
on all
life's 
tests.


.A Bit of a Kick  

I could
really
use some
whisky
tonight...
sometimes
the body needs
a bit of a 
kick...
(Too often
poetry 
comes down to
What was I 
Drinking
or 
what was I 
Thinking!)
But tonight....
I could really 
use
a whisky
or six...
the mist rises 
over the bridge...
no stars
but those
of Man...
I'd crush 
a cigarette
beneath my 
heel
but i haven't
got 
one.
And wouldn't 
have
smoked it
if I had.
I think
its 
illegal
in 
Santa Monica...
No one smokes
out here it seems...
So few hold
the fire between
their fingers...
I wonder if thats why...
Perhaps...
Who knows...
The bars all close
at 2 am.
Another
Stupid law...
Whisky...
Whisky...
Whisky....
Sleep....


.One Last Christmas Thing...  

Who on Earth
decorated
this tree?
How Awful!
This is truly the
Pink
Plastic
Flamingo
of Christmas trees.
Maybe the 
lights
will
spark and set
the whole 
Hideous
thing ablaze
and maybe
if we are lucky
the Tacky
S.O.B.
who is responsible 
For it
will go
too....


.Zen Death Poetry 12

The Hawk
Stoops
talons Flashing.


.Zen Death Poetry 13

Flame consuming all
Darkness and Void
Light within the Black.



.Swill for a painting in the Asylum   

Correct me if I falter here
Inspired by foolish pride
Unless my guess is wrong my dear
Deduce I that I've died.
Above me rises fearsome flame
Despite my freezing hide....


.Moonset in Santa Monica 

The moon
sets slowly
over the pacific...
No stars
still
for the 
City 
despises 
them 
and blots
them
from its sight
but no mere city
of light
and smog
can blight
the eyes of
Diana.
She pierces all
the city's veils
only the clouds
can blind her
Two great moons
one long 
and wavering
one hard
and clear.
In the East
behind the
lights
another
glow
begins.
If there were roosters
in the city
perhaps they would
crow...
or die from the air
or grow fat
and dirty
on the streets
squabbling with
pigeons
for food....
The sand glows silver
and the moon
as well...
the ocean 
softly swells
and subsides
and a wino
passes out 
on the beach....


.Third Street Promenade  

the asylum was
closed
so I 
wander
aimlessly
down
third street
see the artists
and musicians
and the bums
(Need$forBudweiser
I gave him 10 bucks)
eating 
crappy 
New York 
Pizza
in LA
Made a run
for the 
Borders
to...
Study...
A very 
interesting 
Subject....


.Inspiration 

What could provide
more inspiration
than the beauty
the perfection
of the female 
form?
An evening
among beauties
could make
the blind
paint
masterpieces....


.Observation in a cafe 

There is 
something
quite satisfying
about blonde
hair
over Dark Brows....


.Dark Times  

A cool wind
blows 
in the streets
tonight...
a breeze
that brings
something...
different 
into the air...
something...
dangerous?
Something deadly....
A plague
of 
dark and 
twisted
souls
touched
by the chill
breeze
cold
of
heart and 
mind...
seeking
prey...
awaiting
something
upon which
to feast...
a hard music
a cold smile
a predator
walks
in leather 
and chain...
the wind
touches him
and he smiles....
The mother 
pulls close her
child
in fear
a dog 
growls
beneath the 
streets
a scream
as something 
feeds upon
something else....
Tonight, 
it begins....


.Vacation  

I need 
a vacation
from
my vacation....
The City of 
Angels
really
sucks
I want to 
fly away
to the land
where the stars
can be seen...
and I
DON'T
mean
Hollywood....


.Country Music  

Twang
Twang
Twang
I hate 
country music
Twang Twang Twang
this swill
sickens me
TwangTwangTwang
may your Pickups crush you	 
and your wives lay with the dogs....
Twang Twang Twang
Yeee Haaaawww....
YUCK!


.Los Angeles  

here are a few
things I am going
to miss
about this
place...
Cafes by the hundreds...
so much artwork...
stores, 
restaraunts....
But all these 
things exist 
in more 
Pleasant places.  
I think 
I will manage
to survive.


.Watchers....  

A watched being
is a careful one
Rolex or Pinkerton's
It all comes out
the same
Piffle
Stuff
and
Nonsense.


.Assassin  

Softly, softly, from the shadows,
Slipping slowly sliding in,
Slicing slits and stabbing scars
Blade of steel 'neath shirt and skin.
Warm the flow of life that seeps --
Not a drop on dark sheathed hand.
Cool, the temple, as it ebbs
Sleep forever, wicked man.

Knees collapse and lower form.
Worthless living, worth less dead....
Onto knees and crawl like worm
Crawl into deep earthen bed
Gift delivered. Message sent.
(Softer, softer from the shade)
Promise Made and Promise Kept.
Darkness holds a silent blade....


.Interludes 42 

Earth.

Bang.

Earth 
minus 
one fool....



.To a Woman Studying Astronomy at Borders 

Sometimes
it is nice
to sit
and look
and write
and think....
A studying 
woman beside me,
quite attractive,
forms the gem of 
an inspiration....
he hand slides
along her thigh
unconsciously,
warming chilled 
fingers
or pressing in
on sore muscles
or perhaps simply
enjoying
the sensation
of skin
on denim
on skin....
I wonder 
what passes 
through her mind
behind long eyelashes
beneath short hair
so very 
attractive....
a strong face,
one used to getting
her way?
Who expects 
perhaps
to be obeyed?
Strong shoulders...
I love a woman
with good shoulders....
As she studies 
the stars...
which remain hidden 
out here....
I wonder
who she is
who she may be....
I suppose
I will never know....
C'est la vie...
But I wish her 
well...
in all 
things....

....to ashes...  

I take a 
moment
tonight
to resent
and action once
performed.
The burning
of things
irreplaceable.
Given 
in love
and trust...
destroyed 
in Jealous rage
by a fool
an unworthy 
fool....
But worse was
the act of giving
them up
for
destruction....
Whose 
fault is 
greater?
Either way,
they are gone...
ashes scattered
on the wind....
How many 
poems
died
that day...
to birth 
this 
one?

.After a Conversation with Kimberly  

Oh, Kimberly....
I love you
so,
so
much,
Kimberly...
I never stopped.
I can never stop...
My sun, My moon, My stars,
My souls most perfect mate....
When I need you, you appear
My student, My teacher
I am ready.
You are ready.
My heart...
My sun
My moon
My stars
My deepest love
My only, 
only
One....

Forgive you?
There is nothing 
to 
Forgive....
Ego te absolvo
My love...
Remember?
I taught you that phrase
but I learned 
to understand it 
from you.
You forgave Me
I forgave Myself
and in learning 
forgiveness
learned
that there is nothing
to 
forgive
between you
and I
my love...
I love you.
You love Me
and that 
is 
enough.
Oh, Kimberly...
I...
I cannot speak
My Love.
The words....

Just
Hold
Me.
.Another Headache  

A fork
in the muscles
at the back
of my
neck
twisting
a hundred
stabbing needles
white hot needles
in each eye

unignorable
				pain
unceasing
				pain
nauseating
				pain.


.Interludes 22  

A novel notion...
to ask?
what man on earth
or in
would have thought
to question...
such a simple 
idea.
Impossible....


.Old friends 

Old friends
embrace
the years 
apart
seem 
thousands
until
that touch
and suddenly
(suddenly in a 
slow and 
creeping 
way)
the years
passed
are gone.
A pair of college 
chums
reunited.
Old memories,
days long 
dead
reborn
The prom queen
bride
is balding
the quarterback
is hunched
but the hearts still Burn
with the same 
Fire
(aided now
perhaps
somewhat
by the maker
of paces)
Fifty years...
not so long 
a wait....
The wine they
made in
childhood
well aged 
now 
and fine...
they smile...
toothless
smiles...
and the 
"How ya been's"
begin....

.More for the Novel Cafe, Venice CA  

So far
this cafe sucks...
a bunch of crazy
people 
on experimental 
drugs....
Deadheads
without 
the Dead
ex hippies
without 
a cause
drifting 
aimlessly
even for drifters
beyond my experience, this....
Perhaps I should 
stay
with the Dark Side
I am 
happy 
there....
Too much sun
too much light
fries the brain
In the Moonlight
Insane
Genius
Triumphs....
In the 
baking suns
of Venice
the insanity
sits 
alone
in company....

.Another for the Novel.... 

Maybe I will meet
someone interesting tonight
but I don't see it happening here
not in this place
maybe if I went to the 
second floor
the people there would be
sane?
Maybe 
not
At least the tea isn't as lousy
as the Mocha was....

Perhaps if I return to the Asylum
I will find
a Sane woman....

Hmm...
That one seems interesting....
Cute too....
Probably trying to channel the spirit
of Harry Carey's mother's Poodle
though....
I give up.
this place sucks.
I am going back to Santa Monica.
And I will find my dear Anastasia....
As soon
as I finish a little business 
with 
The Earl....

.A blank page... 

My last
blank page...
I sit in an
Italian
restaraunt
with lousy
food and 
comparable 
service
but a place 
where a piece
of my
Heart
resides...
The workplace
of the owner
of a corner
of my soul...
My heart...
My Kimberly....
So many 
Surprises...
Most, pleasant ones...
Sadly, the food
at Giovanni's
was not....
But a portion of the scenery
is worth the awful food
my darling Kimberly....
C'est la Vie....


.Balance  

I was
sitting on top
of the World,
Happy,
Everything was 
Mine...
Now the World
sits
on top of me
and bounces
and digs in its 
heels.
Death is Light
Duty is Heavy
But I will not take
The Cowards Path.
Grit my teeth,
Shoulder my burden
and walk on
into the baking sun....

.Interludes 66 

When I left
the west
it was 66
degrees.
When I landed
in the east
36...
and now
it is
6...
and the wind blows
fiercely.
Hell
is a field of 
Ice
that Burns....

.Stride  

Was ever there
an instrument
more manly
than the Stride Bass?
Thdum
Thdum
Thdum...
Testosterone
builds...
A Formula One Ferrari
or an F-16
or a blacksmith's hammer
beating hot iron
on an anvil...
A skyscraper under construction,
Wall Street....
Little 
else
comes
close....

.A Book Better Left Unread... 

It is honorable
to cherish
one's beliefs
and acceptable
to share them
with others
who wish to
       Share.
It is dishonorable
to present them 
abusively
to others
who have no use 
for them
and unaceptable
to force them
upon anyone.
There are 
hundreds
of places
where the 
self-righteous
may vent
their venom
or calmly
discuss
their gentle
ways....
This 
is not
one of them.
If you wish to 
write...
write.
If you are a 
poet...
Compose.
If you are a 
dreamer...
dream....
But this 
is not a place
for 
rantings.
.Ophelia, Mistress of Wind and Wave 

Many a year ago it was
and many a day gone by
I visited a harbor town
where land and sea met sky
and there I met a sailing man
an Old Salt, Captain Guy.

He owned a mighty sailing ship
that sailed the seven seas.
He had an eye patch o'er his eye
and a peg below his knees
And on that mighty sailing ship
the Figurehead did please....

"What means it, Captain Guy," I said
"This Lady strong and proud...
Becrowned, and hair so long and fair
Her eyes like storm's grey cloud
why such a stern look on her face
and such a fearful frown?

The captain did not say a word,
Just pointed and I saw
a vision deep and clear and bright
Of days before the Law,
When Chaos reigned the world supreme
and never looked to fall...

"Ophelia's the Lady's name," 
the Captain finally spoke.
"the crown of waves and winds she wears
does symbolize a yoke
for once she harnessed all the earth
to keep it safe for mortal folk....

And suddenly.....
I saw........


The waters boil.
The wind rages.
The land heaves.
Fires rage above and below
the few survivors hide 
cowering
in a broken world

A light appears 
in the heavens 
over the sea
and a figure of Power
emerges...
From sea to sky
She stretches,
looking
down
upon this insignificant 
stepping stone 
of a world.
Even for one
so lofty,
such a mess is...
an annoyance.

The figure stood upon the sea
and raised her hands up high
she grasped the wind and lightning
and snow and rainy sky...
She held it captured in her hand	
and made it take an oath
to obey proud Ophelia,
be calm and useful both.

She took the rain to cool her head
and lightning for her crown
The snow for diamonds on her breast
the mist and cloud her gown
She Holds the Wind for power now
And finds a real renown...

I raised my head and shook it once
to clear my wondering mind.
Before me stood the mighty ship
with Figurehead so fine
and also there stood Captain Guy,
the Old Salt of the Brine.

"The Vision, Captain Guy," I said,
"How true was it?  Please say!
The world where Chaos reigned supreme
Until that wondrous day
When Proud Ophelia came along
and sent it on its way."

The Captain looked at me and scowled
as at a passing fly.
"Ye foolish lad, if ye need ask
ye are no worth my time
but if I must I'll reassure...
Look once again, and try...."

A world in turmoil
waves crash upon
heaving shores.
Mountains rise
and fall
in moments.
The fires
of the earth
flow free
burning all
in their path.
The world rages
furious
and vengeful.
Only the Wind is calm,
a gentle soft breeze.
The fires fountain
into the sky
beckoning 
an old ally
to attack
alongside....
The earth and stone
moan and crash
in encouragement, 
and the ocean
surges
its agreement
and accordance.
The wind dies
completely,
cowering
in fear...
It has faced Her.
It Knows the Power
of its new mistress...
The waves
the stone
the flame
Shriek
in fury....
The wind begins to
swirl 
around
a light....

She
Returns....

A gown of clouds
and mist...
Diamonds sparkle
at her breast
and lightning flashing
above her head...
Her forehead high,
her gaze level
and haughty
puissant
Ophelia
gazes down
upon 
a pitiful
display
of power...

A cold smile cross'd
and deep within
a colder laugh
did then begin
and finally
a cold, cold wind....

She pursed those perfect goddess' lips
and she began to blow.
The wind picked up around the world
and everything grew cold
and all across the oceans wild
the ice began to grow.

From Pole to Pole a sheet of white
as oceans froze within their beds
and earthquakes only shifted snow
as fires died of frozen heads.
In minutes what had raged and roared
was silent, still, frozen, and dead.

She looked across the frozen waste
and smiled and raised her hand
the winds did change and lifted all
the ice above the land
Ophelia laughed and made a fist
and ice turned fine as sand.

"You dared to disobey me, foolish
waters of the sea
From this day forth you are my slave
and bow only to me
Obey me now, stay calm and deep 
and ever useful be."

With a glance
from her cold
eyes
the ice
returned
to sea
and lay
calm....
The ocean
had found
its Mistress....

She looked
around
her new domain
prepared
to yet
again
make 
war,
force the 
elements
to submit,
bend the
Universe
to her 
will....
A Crack
appeared
in the Earth
and a Tongue
of Flame
rose from it....

"You frighten us, Ophelia,
we bow before your hand.
If you will let us remain free
we will not harm your land,
So long as Great Ophelia reigns
as Goddess, proud and grand....

She took with her the crashing waves
to grace her lightning crown
the whirlpools and the waterspouts
for baubles on her crown
But Fire and Earth she did not take
as they lay begging  all around....

So, under brave Ophelia's watch
the people now were free
they played and worked and loved and lost 
and dared to sail the sea....
They built new towns and sang new songs
in Honor and in Glee....

Time passed as it often does
and people will forget
They do not know Ophelia
and so do not regret
But some old sailor folk recall,
who live amid the wet....

Ophelia's their symbol still,
who gave them back their ways...
and they recall her wonderous strength,
her proud and piercing gaze...
and how she conquered Wave and Wind
in Chaos-reigning days....


My eyes once closed were open wide
and saw the mighty ship anew.
The figurehead now seemed to smile
As it looked out upon the blue
and Captain Guy, the Old Sea Dog,
saw that the tale was through....

Ye saw her, lad, ye truly did,
Ophelia strong and wise....
She be the sailor's guardian still
'gainst wave and wind and stormy skies.
I know it, lad, ye've seen her true,
I see the magic in your eyes....

I looked out o'er the mighty sea
and saw the sun was set...
The stars shone bright and high above
and doubled on the wet...
and several of the stars did fall,
I never will forget....


The stars fell from the sky
to end a story
the tears fell from my eyes...
But tears... of Glory!!!


.Torquemade Rides Again!!!  

Always
has it amazed
me
How
religions
work....
How quickly
Love thy 
Neighbor
becomes
Convert 
thy Neighbor
and 
Burn 
thy Neighbor
Lovingly
at the Stake....



.Oddities of Nature... 

It is January, here in Michigan,
(and elsewhere as well
so I have been told)
and there is about 3 feet of snow
on the ground.
Mr Weatherman, I have
a question....
WHERE did this bloody 
thunderstorm come from???
It was 8 degrees 2 days ago
and the sky is flashing tonight
the flooding begins
tomorrow
as the snow melts 
and the rain falls
and the frozen earth
refuses
to provide....
Why didn't I move to 
Sante Fe
when I had 
the chance....
C'est la Vie.


.To a pair of dark eyes on NorthWest Flight 32 

I see before me
a pair of
very attractive
eyes...
large, and clear,
lucid....
Dark eyes,
framed
by dark brows
and fine 
cheeks
and accented
by long eyelashes....
Very nice....
She sits in
Shadow
and the Light
which intrudes
Gleams on her
Hair...
Softly....
A little more 
revealed,
with a shift
in position....
A lovely nose,
sweet
soft
pink lips
form a wonderful
smile...
And below that 
most excellent
Smile....

Well, the fabric
of Northwest's
Seven-fifty-seven seats
is nice,
too,
I 
suppose....
Perhaps I shall
be able to write more
later....
Until then
I wish her
only
the best,
as we fly
the ever friendly
skies.....

.Nerve....  

Angry....
Very, very, 
angry....
My heart...
It is not your
fault...
but I am 
SO
angry
right now...
I call you
on my last night
my last chance
to see you....
And the phone
rings
and 
rings...
you are home
I know
If you were gone
the machine would answer.
Someone is using the computer.
If only 
I knew
all the names
I would go to 
a PC cafe
and yell at them
or you...
Like I said...
I am angry....
I hoped 
to see you
one more time
before I 
left
this
place....
To hold your
hand
once more
kiss you
good bye...
My heart....

Maybe I get 
stressed out
to easily...
Perhaps if
I could
relax
life would be 
happier....
I am on vacation
after all...
What a 
relaxing week.
Perhaps if I
tensed up
Just a Little
bit
more
I could snap that
last nerve...
Or did that go 
yesterday?
Maybe I should 
have simply
drank myself                
into submission....

My last night
My last nerve
My last chance
to see Kimberly....
Coincidence?
Of course it is....
 
.Sarcasm  

A razor'd phrase
a Bardic Curse
With pride we poets
do rehearse.
To disembowel
with the tongue
and shame the whole
of Christendom.



.Elspeth, Queen of the Faery 

The Faery Ring
"Oh Elspeth, Faery queen so fair
with moonbeam skin and starlight hair
within the circle on the tor
we dance your dance forevermore"

The Guardsmen
"Oh Elspeth, Faery Queen so bright
We bow before your mystic might
With elven silver blades we swear
to serve and save queen Elspeth fair"

The Faery King
"My Elspeth Faery Queen and Wife
within your shadow all my life
I stand aside and watch you rule
So strong and wise I seem a fool."


.The Odd Disappearance of Rene Descartes 

I think,
therefore
I am.
Cogito,
ergo
sum....
A drunken Philosopher
argues 
in a pub
with an 
obstinate student
He rages...
"Subjective! 
Preposterous!
You Fool!
I THINK NOT!!!"
::poof::
Descartes
disappears
in a puff
of logic.
Good day,
Ladies and Gentlemen.


.A Formal Ball in Hades' Hall  

Welcome in the Demonspawn
The Hellborn legions dance
with wings and scales
with horns and tails
Both taloned feet
and hoofed
move in a parody of grace
in mockery of fairer race
No grace of swan
But stooping hawk
or dragon
as striking serpent
stalking beast
a deadly grace
and screeching
Booming
Wailing voices
echo strangely through the room
Their drink a drink
of foulest stuff
that ever pointed tongue could touch
and music? Screams
to haunt the dreams of any Djinn
or Succubus
For demons dance tonight, they do, 
in Hades there's a ball
in Niffleheim and Tartarus
the flyer's on the wall.
The demons dance so fast tonight
and too will dance so slow
on piled up corpses of the angels
they have laid to low.



.To the Demise of the Deserving 

For each bruise of mind or body
For each cut of flesh or hope
You may choose a fitting punishment
Death by steel, by sea, or rope.
You who have harmed my dear Christine....
You who have harmed her shall end
shall know the death of the deserving
the vengeance of guardian whose hand remains clean
The hand of the one who avenges his friend.

.To a woman beater... 

Welcome to Hell, you sniveling wretch!
Harm a lady... Dare you, to harm HER!!!
I will deliver you there, slowly
And with much enjoyment on my part.
And then I will petition your new master,
Apply for the position as your torturer.
With each scream, vindication.
With each moan, retribution.
With each sob, elation,
as you linger, in eternal torment,
as I provide the same, 
Think on HER...and the wrong you have done...
I shall.

.Roses -- A Poet's Dream  

Some years ago a poet's dream
Of snowy roses ended wrong.
He seeks now to correct it.

Once upon a Winter day
A poet threw a dream away.
When Spring smiled sweet
It rose anew
But once again
Away, he threw.

A Winter rose lay dying
From the dream twice thrown away
Down, but not defeated, trying
To return, return to stay
To stay and heal the withering rose.

Once in ice the rose did waken
Now in ice does it return
Thoughts of throwing dreams forsaken
In the ice its warmth does burn;
But the ice reflects its beauty
So it harms no crystal flake
While the snow keeps to its duty
And the dream remains... Awake.

And though every rose must wither
In the end to fade and die,
This one will return, forever,
Reborn fresh, from love, as I.


.Chaos....   

Welcome 
to the
Abyss
Primal Chaos
No Order
No Reason.
Welcome....
Yes, I know
it looks like
Vegas
on 
New Year's Eve.
It's in 
the courts
now....
Let me show
your room 
to you...
Ah... Nothing....
Just wait around.
one will pop up
eventually...
They always 
do....


.Pawns.... 

Before me
are Pawns...
minor
insignificant
creatures
who can do
only
one 
thing...
a few others
remain...
those who
have 
more
options,
for whatever
reason...
the board
is full
of them....
but I...
I am not 
a piece
on this
board.
I am the 
Hand
that moves
the pieces
I am the 
Mind
that moves
the 
Hand.
This 
existence
is nothing
but
a game
and 
I am,
as always,
Winning.
.Life is a Highway 

Life is a highway
the roadkill
is you
you go
when the lights
turn Sapphire
Blue
and Warp
Nine
approaches
Perhaps it's time
for a tune-up
or a tunes
up
(Make it loud, 
and make it
Aerosmith)
Or a Toon
Up 
What's up
doc?
or MAYBE 
even
a 7-up
but not without
a half a shot
of Seagrams
fine V.O.

Life  is a Highway
and you just
got
pulled over
by Officer Robinson,
a self-important
Bastard, 
a small town cop
Who wants to put
"The Fear of the Lord"
in you
and wants to know
Why yer drivin'
so
gol dern
fast...
Where's the 
Fire,
He asks
What does HE
know 
of FIRE...?
Has he ever
had Fire
in his Heart,
felt the Flames
in his 
Soul?
Not this man
You write your verse
and sing your
songs
and Live
with the 
fires
of a 
passionate
soul
He flops down
on the couch
with a beer
to watch
an infomercial.
Wheres the fire?
IN MY HEART!!!
you scream
not
What seems to be
the problem
Officer
(as if the man 
had ever known
the Hell
of War
in any
way
or even seen 
peaceful service
or was possessed of
the intelligence
to earn military
rank)
Goin a little
fast there
huh
Under the speed 
limit sir
(as if this Fool
Deserves that 
title -- he's
never felt
the Dubbing 
sword)
Maybe so.
You been drinkin'?
Have I committed
a crime,
or have I
not?
That's yet to 
be determined
youngster.
Are you going to
give me a ticket
or arrest me?
I want an 
explanation
Now
if so.
And if not,
go back
to your
car, and
leave me alone
a cold gaze
No fire in his
empty soul
nor ice
He returns to his car
You watch out 
young'un.
I got my eye 
on you.
You wonder
why the redneck fool
even bothered.
Perhaps the plates...
vanity has
its 
faults...

Life is a highway
that was a bug
on the windshield
quickly forgotten.
The Sky is grey
and the Moon is 
Bright
and an ash
from your 
cigarette
floats
into the air
glowing
glowing
gone.


.FIRE  

There's a fire in my heart
and it Burns
Tonight
and always.
There's a Fire in my soul
and it Rages.

I raise my hands
and clench the Universe
between them
and the energy builds.
My blood 
Boils
and Passions
Rage
For I AM!
In this moment
and in 
ALL moments,
I AM!
The Fire is in my Soul
and the Universe is at
My Fingertips.

I Burn
and my blood
Boils
My arms tremble
as muscles clench
and I cry out
from deep within
a call of Rage
and GLORY
For I AM
The Fire within...
It is ME!

The Passions 
which burn
white hot
in my soul
Make me.

I AM!
I THINK!
I WILL!
I LIVE!

The Fire, the Passion,
the Universe, The Whole
of Existence wrapped
into one moment
and I AM
Living it
I Stand atop the 
Mountain
And I LIVE
I AM!
BURNING
The Fire consumes
the Doubts, the
Fears,
the Foolish
Notions

I AM THE FIRE

AND I SCREAM

KATSU!!!



.Impromptu Ode to Sapphire's Collar Bone  

"I have an irresistible collar bone. " --Sapphire

Oh Collar bone, I knew thee not 
But wished I knew thee, oh so well 
In times of need I needed you 
and times of love as well 

for Collar bones and frail necks 
are perfect in my eyes 
and Sapphire's lovely collar bone 
A Happy, Grand Surprise 

.A Very Good Morning.... 

Waking in the morning
with you in my arms
your soft skin
so warm....
Breathing in
the honeysuckle
of your hair....
Darling...
So warm the smile
So warm the kiss
that wakened me...
Clear blue eyes
like perfect Sapphires 
gaze into mine,
and I smile in return....
Last night was so wonderful
You... are so wonderful....
You stretch out 
worn muscles
and I admire
your
Perfect
figure
so lovely...
and I whisper to you
softly....
And to the East
the sun
is rising...
Golden....



.Begin Again.... 

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
A gentle touch,
I trace my hand
along your jaw
feeling the Fire
between us,
gazing deeply
into Sapphire
Blue eyes...
I know, 
my dear,
it seems
a type of
torture...
to wait...
I kiss your ear
and whisper...
"It only
gets better
with time...."

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
Running my fingers
through long
thick
hair
of Burnished Gold
My lips
tasting
the smoothe
soft skin
of a perfect
stomach....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
My fingertips
on softest skin
Barely...
Barely...
touching...
Before my eyes
a wonderful
and exquisite
foot....
And I bend 
towards it....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
Lips are locked
and tongues
entwined.
Arms
squeezing,
pulling
us
closer
pulling
our bodies
so...
so...
close....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
My fingertips stroke
an arching back
the skin
satin smoothe
beneath my hand.
My lips embrace 
your
wondrous breast
and I can hear
your heart...
beating...
so fast...
and I smile, 
knowing it beats
for 
me....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
My hands
grasp firmly
shaking legs
and I kiss you 
so deeply...
my lips
locked with yours...
drinking you in
making you 
a part
of me...

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
My hands 
caress your cheeks
again I gaze
through 
Dragon's 
eyes
into a 
flawless 
pair
of sparkling
Blue
gems....
I whisper your 
name....
You whisper
mine...
and we kiss...
and in time... 
time stands still....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
This is the key...
Love, Life, and Passion....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
To grow, 
they must fade
like the roses in 
autumn
which bloom anew
each spring
fairer than 
the year
before....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
You understand now,
as we lay here
in each others arms...
speaking
so
softly....
And you
fall asleep
in my arms....

Begin
and
Begin again....
Start
and
Start over....
I stroke your hair
so softly
and gaze down 
on your 
sweet, innocent face...
and I smile...
Kissing your forehead
brushing hair 
from your face
I lie back and
join you
in the World
of Dreams....


.Quetzlcoatl

Boundless arrogance
unmatched
I stand
atop the mountain
stepping 
from peak
to peak
and study the broken
lands
below
a city stood here
once
it had
no
name
To those who dwelled 
within
it was called simply
"The City"
and they were
"The People"
but others had
a name for them as well....
The Masters.
The Masters 
of the City 
of Gold....

I look down 
on a ruin
a scattering 
of broken stone
all that remains
of my temple...
for a moment
the light illumines
a darkened
shard
of stone
a winged 
serpent....
Mute testament
to centuries 
of Sacrifice
in My Name...
I cared not...
But it pleased 
them
to die
and to kill
in My Name.

I stand atop the mountain
and the Sun rises
behind me
the ruins
lie
in the shadow
of my wings.


.To Sapphire 2/13/99 0100 hours  

I love you.... 
life is so wonderful....  
with you here in my arms... 
my darling..... 
kissing you 
holding you 
singing 
to you 
so... 
so...  
sweetly 
my darling 
my Sapphire  
love....


.Do Demons Dream?  

In the East the wind is rising
and the ocean tide is high
Dragons fly 'neath billow'd clouds
A Demon Dreams the starless sky

Winds do blow, blow high, blow low
and 'neath the trees the acorns fall
A Dragon lived here long ago
and Demons kept court in his hall

To the East the wind is gusting
Bright the moon gleams on the sea
Dragons in the air, untrusting,
and the Demon...? Close to me....


.Eagles... 

Above the clouds
we soar....
A pair of
Golden
Eagles.
The Sun warming
our backs
the Universe
spread out
before
us....
Eagles
mate
on
wing....
Let us fly,
my love....

To Soar....


.Guardians of the Blightborder 

Peace....

For three
thousand
years
without fail...
we have fought
the Shadow.
Not one inch 
of land
not paid for
in the blood
of thousands....

Peace....

When you have never known
something
save to dream...
it becomes more than a word....

Peace....

We only find peace
in the mother's 
last
embrace....
In the Earth
as she welcomes us...
Home....


.Intrigue  

Intransigent 
insensibilities
intrigue
me....
I intrigue, 
and I 
intrigue 
you....
You are a refreshing 
whiff of
stale
air
a boredom
unmatched
follows you
into
the dusty
Halls
of
Triviality....


.Symphonia Dulce Lux

Prime

The rain and snow are falling
in the misty city
tonight
A half hearted deluge
greys the sun and moon
Harsh fluorescent light shines down on me
and I am cool, but dry....


Seconde

The moon is high the wind is blowing
in the distant city
tonight
the stars gleam clear
illuminating the dusty world below
warm candlelight surrounding you
and you stay warm, but wet....


Tierte (Intermezzo)

As time creeps by I long for you
and Time slows as you wait for me
And Time
passes....


Quarte

Soon two Sapphire orbs will blink
A pair of Dragon's eyes will too
and all the distance fades with dawn
and silken skin on silken bed
While golden hair meets silver brown
and two hearts beat
as one.


.in memoriam  

A salty droplet
darkens
the grains of sand...
soft white sand
which cling
to my fingertip.
Crouched in the spot
we called
our
own,
I trace your name 
in the sand
in my mind
a thousand times
...a thousand times
in my mind
the word completed
and a soft laugh 
as you smile
and fall back
and pull me
to 
you...
But the ocean sweeps
the unfinished name
away
the sand a slate wiped clean
tabula rasa
erased
of all the evidence
of you
and I begin again
tracing slow and graceful letters
in the sand
touching your name
as I 
touched
you...
and again
the ocean 
swallows you,
again...
Again
before my eyes
you disappear
beneath the waves
and I am left
with nothing more
than gritty hands
and memories
and tears....

.v-day 

A day
of love
and passion
memories 
and legends
old
and new
when hearts
and souls
and arms
entwine....
in Passion
in friendship
in love....


.Thoughts on Love 

Within the realm
of space
and time
and without pause
or question
is it not
Love
that binds all things?




.On A Trip to Chicago 

Grey clouds
and misty skies
unite
in an omnipresent
haze
of grey....


.Knowledge.... 

We become one
beneath the misty
shrouded moon....
For a moment
we Know
one another
even as we know
ourselves....


.interludes 44 

Elegance,
Eloquence.
Consequence?
Arrogance.....


.And the Goldfish Smile 

We stand
atop a mountain
in the clouds
watching over
Our
Universe
our hands brush
as we watch
A Dragon flying
far below
and a pair 
of Unicorns
Racing
over verdant fields.
Our hands clasp
as the fourth Moon
rises full
and the Folk 
of Faery
start to sing
of Love
and Life,
of You and I,
and Time....
So far above
our private world
I turn 
my head
and kiss you....

As we kiss
the shooting stars
begin
to fall
as once we fell
alongside
them....
As silken robes
fade into mist
the dragon's gem
between your breasts
sparkles
like the stars
like your eyes....

Thunder rolls
beneath us
as we kiss
and Lightning
flashes
with each touch
beneath the 
stars
beneath the moon.

We
Are
One....

Our cries of
Passion
Echo
throughout
the lands....
And in the Distant Darkness
The Goldfish
Smile....



.Afterglow  

My lover and I
relax on soft alpaca fur
and silken pillows
before a warming fire....
She traces patterns on my chest,
I draw I Love You's on her arm.
We are warm, and worn, and sated....
Between soft, lazy kisses in varying locations
we talk of love
and life
and our future together....
We speak of children, choosing names,
often laughing, touching love....
Two sons she wants, fine lads,
perhaps a painter 
and a poet
and a daughter
Just like her mother
an intellectual beauty
a musician or philosopher, perhaps....
And in time... Speech grows less
as we come to remember
that often the most beautiful words
are those which are not needed
the unspoken love
between us
for which no words suffice,
for which even a Pair of Poets
are at a loss
for
words
and she nuzzles my chest
as I stroke her heavy golden hair
softly, gently, slowly....
	
	Falling

		Asleep....



.The Last Dom.... 

dedicated to the memory of Dominic Carmello Virmarco...  1910-1998

Today
we gatha hea
to pay tribute
to a great man.
His name
was
Dominic
Carmello
Vimarco....
But he had many
names
in life....
Uncle Dom
Godfather
Don Vimarco
Boss,
Nicky the Knife....
We standa hea this day
in honor
of the man
the true friend
the great leader...
fromcradle to grave
he lived
his own life....
For fifty years
he headed
the Vimarco Family.
He died at the age
of eighty-eight....
But we do not weep
for the passing
of an era....
He would not want that
and we all know 
what happens 
when theres something
Uncle Dom
Doesn't want....
It kinda gets lost
without a real explanation....
So smile, and remember....
It was his wish
that we lift a glass
in his honor....
A glass of 1910 
Dom Perignon
The year that he was born....
A Toast...
To all of you
and to...
The 
Last 
Dom!


.Affirmation 

Who do I think I am???
I Know who I am!
Can you say
the same?


.Contrail details 

Gazing off into the West
the sun behind the trees
smoothe clouds glow
soft pink
fading into orange
and 
indigo
as a jet plane eases
its way across the sky
leaving golden 
lines
of fire and cloud
behind
to find its way
home?


.Trucker in the Lobby 

trouble at work
some damn fool is swearing
at me
says I gave him a dirty look
my boss just sits there
i cannot throw the bastard out
with dave there
and I cannot swear back
and I sure as hell
am not going
to make nice with the
sonofabitch
finally dave steps in and tells the fool
that he is right and I am wrong
and it will be dealt with
a "training issue"
	...like Hell
I just looked at him 
like I look at any idiot I come across
(and it actually seems to be my usual facial expression
these days....)

The idiot comes back later to swear some more.
why is it stupid people always come back later to swear more?
does it take them that long to think of something to say?
are their lives so useless and boring that they feel the need to brood
and brood and mull over the moment
until they come up with yet another inane argument
or prejudice to assert?
he comes back to swear again
"you white collar types
is all the same
you think us truckers ain't
nothin' but a pile of shit
you can step on and kick around
you fuckin' bastards don't know shit
truckers are the backbone of america
you think you all are so much better than us
well I got news for you..."
Dave interrupts the flow of obscenity and idiocy.
"Perhaps I should let you know
before you continue with your profanity
(implying: and make an even bigger fool of yourself)
that my wife is a trucker
(and inside I smile... memories....
Packmule, 
Sleeping Tiger, 
Boll Weevil,
Cowboy,
so many others... 
regular guests
and friends
all of them)
I turn to Packmule
as he walks in
covered in dirt from 
a hard days work
and talk to him
as I always would
saying nothing to the fool
but proving him wrong 
just the same...
I do not judge a man by what he does for a living
but by who he is
when he is 
himself
Packmule passes
but this ignorant fool....
Like I told Packmule
	...I hope he gets a call from J. B. Hunt.
Over and out.




.With the Falling Stars 

Burning
with unearthly fire
we fell
from the sky
along with the stars
you and I
as one
falling
the wind whipping at us
burning without pain
in a fire 
of love 
and 
magic.
plunging into the sea
still one 
alone now
	the stars more frail
	and easily defeated
we plunge beneath 
the salty brine
and flood a sparkling 
tropic isle
		...or three
	while the 3rd moon 
	sets
	with a brief flash
	of azure
	over the mountains
	in the north
and our passion peaks
beneath the sea
at the oceans floor
	in the rolling hills
	a pegasus nuzzles his mate
	and they speak
	softly
	of heirs
	and dynasties
	and empires
and the rolling surface
of the sea
breaks loose
as we emerge
	a smiling group
	of golden fish
	in a fountain
	where time meets space
	in an undiscovered realm
	of beauty and 
	freedom
and we rise
once more
flaming anew
into the starry sky
the velvet sky
of my domain
	a phoenix takes wing
	its flaming nest
	a memory 
we dance through the sky 
and glide across the clouds
and the universe
	bends
		to our
			will...
My love, my falling starmate
my Sapphire poet dreamer love
	it takes a woman
	to make a man
	a man
you are a goddess
and now I am
a god
		...and we rule
		together
		as one
and a sparkling butterfly
lands lightly
on your fingertips....


.Breathless--for Sapphire 

i am breathless...i forgot how to breathe...
--Sapphire
rhaps I can help you to remember, my love....
--JC

sharing breath
sharing soul
we kiss
chests rise and fall
against each other
as hearts
pound
in counterpoint.


.Her Domain 

I know
what She 
is feeling....
Many years ago
I stood 
as She stands
now....
In awe....
The earth
warm
beneath 
My feet, 
sinking My toes
into the soil
of My own Universe....
A part of me
as I was a part of it
as She is a part of it
and a part of Me
and I am
a part
of 
Her
The Cycle
is complete
and a new realm
has been claimed
from the misty chains
of memory
and legend
and 
mind....


.glimpse of a dream 

A misty world
of butterflys
and Unicorns
and Sapphire Skys
where Hope resides
in Dragon's Eyes....


.Lore of the Mysty Sea 

I met a woman once
who grew up
on the streets
of Boston.
She had nothing 
in life
no family
no money
no food, often
enough...
life was hard
for her
but she Lived it.
Every moment 
counted
because it could be 
her last....
She grew from a
lonely, scared child
into a formidable
woman.
a strong
person....
She grew up
alongside the ocean.
It was her friend, 
her... ally.
Her inspiration....
The ocean is a part 
of her, 
its strength, 
its majesty...
is hers as well
strong...
proud...
but not prideful.
Honest with
others
and with herself...
She has become
what all should be
but few can 
ever
manage....
A force of nature, she...
Like the waves
she so admires...
Inexorable
unrelenting....


.Clear Mood 

What is that
my heart...
do you see it?
Look closely,
my love....
The moon is 
Full 
tonight,
and it 
rests
here, upon this
tiny
insignificant 
leaf....
Hold out your hand, 
darling...
let me
give it to you....
look at it,
angel....

You hold the 
Moon in your 
hand
and I placed it there....
 
You hold the moon 
and you have it
from me....
I feel so wonderful
tonight
my love
Deucalion 
revisited
as I hold you
in my 
arms...
Building  
castles in
the clouds
beside
the palaces
of earth
in a sky 
full
of stars....
We are...
immortal
my goddess...

Alone 
we stand
Together
in our own
Private
Olympus.... 


.Mea Culpa 

mea Culpa
mea Culpa
mea Maxima Culpa
mea Maxima Maxima Culpa....
i have touched You
my Lady
with
an ungentle
hand....
An unthinking 
misunderstanding
by a thoughtless
fool....
i can offer no reasons,
only excuses...
my Love....
i will not ask You
for forgiveness....
i do not 
deserve
forgiveness...	 
and yet....

				...I know You would grant it....
				...I love You so much Darling....

The look
in Your eyes...
the shock
the hurt
as an unthinking 
fool
betrayed
Your gentle trust...
if ever 
in these times
i were to hate
myself
it would be
in that
moment...
but i do
not.
Never 
Again....
					
				(I made that mistake too many times
				too many years ago....)
					
And never 
again
will i touch You
with ungentle
hands...
with unthinking 
hands....


.Lucy Revisited -- the Ball Peen Hammer Song 

Have you ever
hit a Virgo
on the head
with
a ball peen hammer?
Seven or 
twelve
strikes
can be 
quite
refreshing
exercise.

When transcendental 
meditation 
fails.............
          .....Try Nails

In times of doubt
and times of want
and times of full
despair
just keep in mind
your ball peen friend
and take her everywhere

but when the darkness
looks too black
and inspiration sails.........
          ..........Try Nails

And  Then
     Of  Course
   The  Chain
  Saw  Sings
  the  Song
   of  Gods
and  Men
 and  Kings
and  With
 each  Grind-
ing  Slic-
ing  Cut 
 the  Rage
  that  Grows
can  Not
  be  Shut
  off  From
your  Soul  
the  Fi-  
     re  glows
  and  Then 
you  Cut 
off  All 
 con  Trols
and  In   
  the  Dark
 you  Hear
         a  Scream
it  Is
your  Self  
 you  Start
        to  SING.



.Reality Check 

Just because
I have spoken
with you
on
occasion
does not
a relationship
make...
I did not even 
consider you
to be 
a friend...
a friendly 
acquaintance, 
no more.
What you 
coerced yourself
into 
believing
is your own
problem.
You insisted
upon telling me
your darkest
secrets
though I barely
knew 
you
nor cared to....
You involved me
in your life
where I had 
no wish
to be,
but was too 
polite
to point out...
I offered 
what advice 
I could
As I would
to any other
who asked...
I found
some 
conversation 
with you
tolerable
even on 
rare 
occasion
enjoyable,
but a moment
was more than
enough 
notice
for me to leave
as soon as
Bogey
said Hello
those conversations
generally 
ended....
And when I
suspected
you were 
considering
suicide
I did as I would do
for anyone...
offered 
some good 
advice
and told you 
to seek 
professional 
help.
There's no need
to go it
alone....
But the story
kept changing
the excuses
kept up,
and I am not sure
if I even 
believe you
now,
but that 
doesn't matter.
I offered
All I could.
All I will, 
and more 
than I should have
or wanted to.
You rejected
what I 
offered
envisioning
somewhere in your 
twisted and 
phantasmorgiac mind
some ludicrous
fantasy
of you
and 
I.
You wanted
more.
	(Betray your trust?
	I wear no 
	confessor's 
	cloth)
I have no use 
for the weak.
You have defeated
yourself
and refuse
to fight 
back.
Fear
I could 
accept
but Cowardice
is 
contemptible...
You lash out
in your 
childish 
way
attempting 
to harm 
me....
Olympus?
I have seen 
Olympus,
looked down 
upon it
and there is no
comparison.
Olympus
belongs to all.
My Ego 
is 
Mine
and 
Mine
Alone
and I
am
Complete.
Nothing 
you can say
or do
affects
me....
Your transparent
attempts
at manipulation
bore 
me
	(as if you have
	the slightest ability
	where that game 
	is concerned)
I see now
that you have
far more
problems
than I
had believed...
your infantine
insults
towards
myself
and my Love
prove that....
but your
pitiful
and insignificant
jealousy
does not
affect me
it simply
confirms
my assertion.
You Need
Professional 
Help...
But I do not care
if you bother
to receive it
You are 
Nothing 
to me.
you are beneath 
my 
notice
The only feeling
I have
for you
is a vaguely
sour taste
in my mouth
which I rinse clean
with cold, clear
water
and sweeten
with my lover's 
kiss....


.Cyspes Agere  

Deum meum,
ut qui me dereliquisti?
Nudus et moribundus
tenebrae factae sunt....


translation....

Desperate Plea

My goddess,
why have you forsaken me?
helpless/naked/alone and dying
darkness descends.

.the spoken word  

to hear
once more
from out the void
of distance and
of time long passed
your voice....
across the many
thousand 
miles
to touch
you
again...
to caress you
with 
the spoken word
and be caressed 
in 
turn...
an ecstasy 
for 
us both.


.Admonition  

I did not place you
on the mountain -- 
I simply
met
you
there....

I did not raise you
to the stars --
I flew 
beside 
you.

We stood 
alone
together
and stood
free.

If you fall 
you will not pull me.
If I fall 
you will not fail.

I am Alive,
You are Alive,
and We 
are 
Free.


.salty kisses  

salty kisses
we embrace
shaking
our tears
fall freely
this day, this black and awful day
when we lost
our darling
child
I kiss your cheek so softly, love
and taste your salty tear
and you return my kiss, my dove
and guide me in my fear
this dark and dismal day has come
and passed into the night
we hold each others shaking forms
and wait
wait for the light
                .....to pass
my dearest heart, I hold you now
and you hold me as near
                .....we fear
but we Survive this night
and kiss a salty tear.


.Son of Man  

...and I walk the lonely path
with my carpenter's burden
and crowned in thorns
and pain....
	And beside the well-crafted Roman road
	a lily blossoms fresh....
And I raise my head high
as the fog lifts
from my mind,
my heart,
and I Know
the Way.
No child of dead old myth am I
not Son of god
but son of Man
and I heave this cross to earth
it shatters,
now a thousand shards
of free, untainted wood
to match
my free, untainted soul
for I am not a fool,
to hold the guilt
of others
as my own
I am free and proud 
and strong.
I have sinned not.
No crimes have I committed,
and I refuse to take on yours.
I am my own
and no one else's
I am myself
the son of Man
a Man myself, 
this day.
My actions Mine
and Mine alone
and I destroy
this crown of thorns
which you have placed
upon Me.
I am whole
and I am Mine
and I am Free.
I will not rule
or be ruled
or suffer
another's pain...
and I look into the sunrise
and walk toward it,
unashamed.


.Cherry Blossoms  

warm, sweet scented breeze 
the cherry blossoms falling 
their scent fills the air....


.notebook  

walked across the street 
to the 7-11
to buy this notepad
saw someone there
I know from somewhere
he thought he knew me too
neither of us knew
for
certain
we shrugged shoulders
shook hands
(just in case)
I got my notepad
and walked back 
into the thick air
of a cool
and humid
night.


.and the robin must scratch  

You can show them the ladder
but you cannot climb it for them.
the time must come
for the eagle to push free
the nestling;
and the robin
must scratch
for its own worms....


.Fireflies 


The breeze
gently ripples
the thin fabric
of your
dress....
You race with delight
into the sweet 
evening air
through the warm
evening air
chasing 
after 
fireflies....

You catch them 
in an open jar
and look at them....
One crawls onto your finger
and looks back...
it seems to smile 
for a moment, 
resting on your finger,
at peace, 
trusting,
and it flashes its magical glow
and flies away....
It knows
what all the fireflies
and creatures of the land
know
about you....
The Jar 
is always
Open....


.Magic Man 

The trouble with magicians
is they never seem to stay.
They melt all of the icicles
and brush the snow away....

The magic bag that's full of tricks?
A trick itself, you see...
for when you open up his bag
it's empty as can be.

But though the magic is a trick
composed of flame and air,
the conjurer's a Man behind
the artificial flair....

And  when the salty puddles
start to freze into a frost
it's then that he will realize
just how much he has lost.

And maybe, when the show is done, 
the magic man will learn
that Cold can last forever
while a Fire, out, will burn....


.Extratemporaneosity 

Nothing
but you
and 
I
here
floating
between worlds
between the Threads
of the Pattern
of Life
the Wheel of Time
turns not
as we stand here
immersed in grey
immersed in you
immersed...
in me

No velvet blackness
of the night
no stars or moons
or candlelight
There is no wrong 
There is no right
for here 
we stand...
alone.
Just you 
and I...
as one....

But music plays 
within our souls
and beauty is 
your velvet touch
and time remains
outside of us....

The immortalized
melding
of minds
of bodies
of souls
here
outside
of time....


.Thinly Veiled Surreality 

A new wind rising
with the fall
the falling leaves 
a bloody ball
of foot or hand
or hand me downs
or take me down
and love me....

When Arrogants
collide
the Sacrificial 
Bride
Remains...
calm
and weary.

Sentimental
Kazakhstani
Ruminants and Rails
meditate and
contemplate
Associated Sales,
While passing time
and blowing wind
expunges full details
all are one
beneath the misty
shrouded
stars....


Poetry Archive 2

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