TOPAZ Infopages - Domestic Violence, Stalking

www.topazline.org.uk

Topaz 17 for Abuse Survivors of ANY Age
Survivorway channel on YouTube | Direct link to PlayList of UK Help Organisations
Factors in Violence for those who are sometimes violent on Whorls site www.whorls.org.uk

SAFETY videos on the Domestic Violence page at TANSAL Click the link - www.tansal.org.uk/violencecoercive.htm

Videos and more on these issues at TANSAL Abuse & Rights Go to Scapegoating there

http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/domestic_violence.php  SupportLine new Helpline number: 01708 765200. Provides details of counsellors and agencies throughout the UK.  Emotional support/ befriending via phone, post and email.  For children, young adults, adults, and particularly anyone socially isolated, vulnerable or at risk, and victims of any form of abuse.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/hh/ BBC website with a great deal of useful information, articles and links on domestic violence issues

http://www.refuge.org.uk 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247 is run in partnership with Women's Aid and Refuge (see next Link)

Refuge is a national charity for women and children experiencing domestic violence.  Their Links page lists many useful organisations.

http://womensaid.org.uk National network providing support, information packs, campaigning to improve laws and services for women and children facing domestic violence.  They have now launched Hideout, a special Domestic Violence website for children and young people (see next Link).

http://www.thehideout.org.uk Specially for children and young people wanting information and support if they are facing or seeing Domestic Violence.  Includes 'What Can I Do', 'Helping a Friend', 'Exploring my Feelings'.  Worth a visit from young people and adults.

http://www.refuge.org.uk/linksAndUsefulNumbers.html Refuge lists a number of useful Links offering support for women and children from multi-cultural backgrounds.

http://www.lgbt-dv.org/html/rainbow Broken Rainbow website specifically for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals concerned about Domestic Violence..

http://www.respect.uk.net Respect is a registered charity helping men and their partners learn more about what causes Domestic Violence and how to cope with the issues.  Further information at the BBC website (see next Link).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/hh/pp01/shtml
Free Article by Jo Todd 'Help for perpetrators of domestic violence'

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/crime/domesticviolence

Home Office website with useful information on where victims or friends/relatives can seek help:

National Helpline 0808 2000 247

Male Advice & Enquiry Line 0845 064 6800

STALKING, HARASSMENT, BULLYING, COERCIVE RELATIONSHIPS

http://www.nss.org.uk  Stalking information particularly relevant for UK
http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/bullying_at_work.php  Workplace bullying, plus a wide range of information & Links at SupportLine, a Charity offering emotional support via telephone/email/post
http://www.bullyeq.com  Bully EQ Site with information on bullying, manipulation, mobbing, scapegoating.
Tim Field's site is at http://www.bullyonline.org
http://www.nfh.org.uk  Neighbours From Hell in the UK - Information on how to cope wherever you are

http://www.support4learning.org.uk/counselling/bullying___harassment.cfm
Information for young people including bullying and harassment at school, college and outside;
Includes information on bullying and harassment at work.

JOSEPH ROWNTREE FOUNDATION:  http://www.jrf.org.uk  ::  JRF LINKS - http://www.jrf.org.uk/links
JRF REPORT APRIL 2008 on social issues affecting individuals - http://www.socialevils.org.uk

SAINSBURY CENTRE for MENTAL HEALTH www.scmh.org.uk/ Download the Bradley Report suggestions on ways to improve the treatment of people with mental health problems in the criminal justice system

SAMARITANS - http://www.samaritans.org
REPORT ON WORKPLACE BULLYING available in Word or pdf format:
http://www.samaritans.org/media_centre/latest_press_releases/workplace_bullying_rife.aspx

SAFETY TIPS & BOOKS

Network for Surviving Stalking www.nss.org.uk
Crimestoppers Personal Safety www.crimestoppers-uk.org/crime-prevention/helping-prevent-crime/personal-safety
Suzy Lamplugh Trust - Personal Safety Tips http://www.suzylamplugh.org/content.a...
Lucie Blackman Trust www.lucieblackmantrust.org
Also see Safety Text scheme www.safetytext.co.uk/HowToST.shtml & Smart Call scheme www.safetytext.co.uk/Smart.shtml
Bully Online www.bullyonline.org The Field Foundation

SAFETY BOOKS

'Murder.com' - How death can be only a click away, by Christopher Berry-Dee & Steven Morris;
'Stalkers - True-life stories of harassment, jealousy & obsession' by Polly Clarkson
'Anyone You Want Me To Be - A true story of sex & death on the Internet' by John Douglas & Steven Singular
'I'll Be Watching You - True stories of stalkers & their victims' by Richard Gallagher
'Erased - Missing women, murdered wives' by Marilee Strong
'Without Conscience - The world of psychopaths among us' by Robert D Hare
'The Sociopath Next Door' by Martha Stout
'In Sheep's Clothing - Understanding and dealing with manipulative people' by George K Simon
Preventing Violence' by James Gilligan
'Women, Men & Rape' by Ray Wyre & Anthony Swift

ANGER

'Beating Anger': Where your anger comes from, How to recognise your type of anger, the four key triggers of anger' by Mike Fisher - 'Some people can't control their anger, other people can't begin to express it.' Evening Standard

'Managing Anger' by Gael Lindenfield
'Releasing Anger' by Liz Adamson

Factors in Violence for those who are sometimes violent on Whorls site

STRESS & HEALTH

'Teach Yourself: Managing Stress' by Terry Looker & Olga Gregson
'Stress Management 10 Minute Guide' by Jeff Davidson
'Thrive on Stress' by Jan Sutton
'Living with Stress' by Cary L Cooper, Rachel D Cooper, Lynn M Baker
'Stress, Cognition & Health' by Tony Cassidy
'Parents Who Kill' by Carole Anne Davis - includes Resources to help parents understand

TRAUMA 8 POST TRAUMA STRESS

'Coping with Life's Traumas' by Gladeana McMahon
'Post Trauma Stress - a Personal Guide for dealing with and recovering from post-trauma stress' by Frank Parkinson

GROUPS and personal relationships can have coercive or cult-like qualities, and it can be difficult to see them for what they are and to get help and understanding.  Influence can include a subtle and more seductive approach than something more obviously controlling or obtrusive.

Social/Group Aspects Page on this Website. It includes some more Cult-related links, plus links on Con-Tricks, Scams & Deceptions. You can see more on this on the BBC Website 'The Real Hustle'

Visit http://www.rickross.com for information on coercive personal relationships including Cults, a Forum & Booklist.

For Groups, Cults, Indoctrination, Exiting click HERE

For Scapegoating & Abuse click HERE

For Social Dynamics of Cult Ritual Abuse click HERE

Out of Character Behaviour website is at Toukanalia http://toukanalia.blogspot.com

Some 'Guidelines for Seeking Help' in a more general sense are HERE

http://everything2.com/title/sent+to+Coventry

The Royalist forces of King Charles I (were pitted) against the Parliamentarian armies of Oliver Cromwell. Coventry; a Parliamentarian stronghold said to have been used to house hundreds of Royalist prisoners captured by Cromwell's forces. A Royalist in Coventry would, no doubt, have been very unpopular, so "to be sent to Coventry" came to be a popular saying meaning, "to be ostracized." It has also been suggested that Coventry was used as a place of execution during the same period, in which case "to be sent to Coventry" signaled a fate somewhat worse than having no one to talk to.

In 1642 Charles I was suspected of being a Catholic in secret. Consequently he and Parliament frequently clashed. In the end the king left London and established an army, as did Parliament. These events sowed the seeds for the English Civil War. However it wasn't until almost a century after the English Civil Wars that the idiom was used to describe a person who was to be excluded from a circle of friends. The first occurrence of it used in this manner in print was recorded in 1765, and is generally taken to refer to the Civil War.

A third likelihood is a popular explanation is that the name Coventry is a derivative of a Covin-tree from feudal times and thought to be an oak which stood in front of the castle for hanging criminals. Used as a gallows, those to be executed were "sent to the covin-tree."

Still popular among the British labor unions today the phrase is used to punish strikebreakers. A powerful tool for social pressure, the person sent to Coventry is given the silent treatment until they eventually give up and resign.

Ostracism can cause a real pain!

Is it really worth it?

Whether it gets called ostracism, rejection, dissing or whatever, the effects of silent treatment can be hard to take.

Click for 'Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social pain' by Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman http://www.neuro-psa.org.uk/download/rejection.pdf

Ostracism: The Cruel Power of Silence, an All in the Mind radio interview http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/mind/stories/s1066040.htm

Kipling Williams has researched ostracism and its effects, and you can search on Google or any search engine for details on his work. Some books he has authored are available from Amazon:

'The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying' by Kipling D. Williams, Joseph P. Forgas, William Von Hippel

'Ostracism: The Power of Silence' by Kipling D. Williams

Also see: 'Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection' by Elayne Savage

Amazon often have second-hand books which are much cheaper! You can read up about books and authors without having to buy

A Middle Ground: Mediation or Reconciliation?

Those wishing to explore the possibility of Middle-Ground in their own situation may arrange to communicate with other parties involved, for a fixed period via the postal address

Mid-Ground
BM TOPAZ
London
WC1N 3XX

TopazLine remains impartial, and only sees contents of communications by request
We would ask participants to pay the costs of forwarding mail

Send a stamped addressed envelope for further information or visit the Mid-Ground page

HUMAN RIGHTS, Miscarriages of Justice, Prisons
Updates are at TANSAL ABUSE & RIGHTS
Part 1 Human Rights Resources, Campaigns
Part 2 Miscarriages of Justice Articles & Books
False Confessions; Part 4 Problems with Evidence, Videos
Part 5 Prisoners, Families, Veterans, Mental Health, Vulnerable people

TOPAZ Infopages || Topaz 17 ~ Abuse Survivors ANY Age
Gender ID, Gender Variance, Transgender, Transition

Domestic Violence, Bullying, Coercive Relationships || Scapegoating, Abuse, Ostracism

GROUP Aspects, Cults & Beliefs || Con-Tricks, Scams, Deception

GENERAL Links/ Problems in Living || Directories, Offline & Other

Guidelines for Help || Self-Help, Advocacy || Outline Questions on Help || Mental Health General

Postal Mediation | Negotiating Within | Measures, Links & Concepts | Concil Site