Before we get into Evelyn's rant, I would just like to take a moment to reflect on how fucking stupid those commercials are on channel 22...you know the ones while you're watching Jeopardy or whatever and you get those fucking 30 second wastes of time showing random animals cavorting around their little cages...with some music playing that sounds like Kenny G or something? What the fuck? Anyways, read on, friends, and take in the glory that is
EVELYN'S WICKED ASS RANT
(or, Why/How Japanimation/Anime Became the fucking shittiest stuff around)
by Evelyn Hickey (sounds attractive doesn't it)
A long time ago, there was this amazing show called Sailor Moon. It was, in short, awesome. It was the first anime show to hit the airwaves over here in Canada..and it was loved and adored by all...especially Lydia and me. Now, I'm talking about the old episodes, like, circa 1995..none of this new shit without Tuxedo Mask and such..i'm talking old school Sailor Moon. OK, so since this is supposed to be a rant about modern day Japanimation, i'll get to my point. So, along came Pokemon, which i have to say, was quite original. It wasn't too bad, and the plot was somewhat interesting....for a while. The Anime/Japanimation concept was still quite new to the western world, and so we found Ash, Pikachu, and their random followers to be suitable succesors of the ever popular Sailor Scouts. Now, as you most likely know, Pokemon was a huge success...everyone had a lame ass binder full of the cards...everyone watched the new episodes on Wednesday night...and everyone had the video game. This was when the Anime folks got too cocky for my liking, and quite frankly, the liking of everyone else. Then, the fifth graders became sixth graders...and realized that Pokemon was for fifth graders. To fill Pokemon's gap, along came Digimon. Let me tell you, this show was a flop. It was like instant mashed potatoes. Shitty. It was a sort of last-ditch attempt to ressurect the anime craze, but it did not work at all. So basically, after Digimon, the anime people decided that maybe if they just kept on making ass-sucking shows, one of them would eventually be a hit..too bad for them..they were retards..so out came Beyblade or whatever the fuck its called, and Yu Gi Oh or some such crap. Anyway, what they didn't realize was that the Japanimation/Anime craze all ended when people figured out that a show about loser guys that traipsed the globe enslaving cute creatures to fight their battles ( I'm talking about Pokemon here, for those idiots out there) sucked bum. They should have just stuck with Sailor Moon, which was truly the best thing since ever.
Updated 02/24/04
(Seriously, Sailor Moon fucking rocks. Just ask me. I'll tell you everything you need to know and everything you wish you didn't know. About Sailor Moon. And why YTV needs to die. More next week)