Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid
was a relative of Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa salem, from both her mother and her father’s side, making her the closest related wife
to the Prophet,
sallallahu alayhi wa salem. Khadijah was very different from many other women. Her mind was
the equivalent of 10 men. Usually, women don’t have all attributes combined in one. If a woman
is beautiful, usually she lacks Iman because her beauty causes her to do wrong
things. If a woman is beautiful and is kind and even has iman in her heart, she might lack
intelligence. And if a woman has intelligence, she becomes (in
some cases) very opinionated
and will dominate over her husband or treat him badly because of this. If a
woman has all the good attributes of kindness, intelligence, beautiful and
wisdom, then she is superior to other women.This was Khadijah. No women was near her level.
She was one of the wealthiest women in Makkah, she was very beautiful, she had
intelligence that was out of the ordinary and although she lived at the time of
Jahiliyah, she never bowed to an idol and followed Ibrahim, alayhi alsalam,'s
religion of Tawheed.
This was the person that Allah chose for the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi
Among Quraysh, she had one attribute that she was always referred to as and that
is: Al Tahira (the pure). This label among the Quraysh was the ultimate
praise.This did not mean, of course, that all the other women in Makkah were
impure, but it meant that her manners, her Iman, her kindness was beyond all the
The problem with girls these days is that in marriage, their priorty is looks or
wealth or the girl doesnt even know what shes looking for, she just wants to get
married to the first guy that comes along. There is no plan in her mind. She
doesn’t think ‘I want a husband with such and such attributes so we can build
such and such a home and so Allah could say such and such to us on the Day of
Judgement’. So imagine now, Al Tahira marrying Al Sadiqq Al Amin. So what kind
of children will they have? Why is there such a high divorce rate? Why do people
get divorced after just months or even weeks of marriage? Its because they
didn’t choose right. They have nothing plan before the marriage and nothing
planned after the marriage so it turned out that they earn haram and eat haram
and live in sin. If they chose good in the first place then none of that would
of happened. Did they get married because she has a message and he has a message
and they want to raise their children by that message and teach them to worship
and obey Allah and to keep away from Haram?
The prophet said that a woman gets married for 4 reasons, wealth, status, beauty
and religion. So hold onto the religious one or you’ll get nothing. So look for
someone who is following the religion. Whoever has their eye on the religion of
Allah, Allah will help and save you in your life. Its not about how green her
eyes are or how fair her hair is or her sense of humour or his muscular arms and
his stylish car this is not the issue. The issue is that a soul wants to fulfil
their duty to Allah for the next life so they do good in this life. The girls of
today think it very normal to laugh with a man or talk on the phone till 3am or
stay up till 2am thinking ‘I hope he calls me’. The two greatest women that ever
lived where Maryam bint Imran and Khadijah bint khuwaylid because of their
purity and modesty. This is the first lesson that we should learn from Khadijah
She marrired two men before the prophet, ‘Atiq Ibn ‘Abid of Makhuzum and Abu
Hala or Hind Ibn An-Nabbash Ibn Zurara of Tamim. She had a boy and a girl from 'Atiq.
But he passed away so she married Abu Hala and also had a boy and a girl and he
also passed away. (All part of Allah’s plan). When ‘Atiq died, he left Khadijah
a lot of money and, using her intelligence, she entered into business using this
money. After the death of her second husband, she did not marry for another
three years. At this point she was at the age of 37. In those three year, a lot
of noble members of Quraysh asked for her hand in marriage but she refused.
How did they meet?
When Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa salem) reached the age of 22, Khadijah was working her trade but she knew she had to hire men to do for her.
She was very picky when in came to hiring employees, she didn’t just chose anyone, she chose the best and earned alot of money because of this.
She had a servant called Maysara who she would send with the men she employed on every expedition and then when hey returned, she would ask Maysara to tell her everything that happened.
Abu Talib went to Khadijah and asked her if she would employ Muhammad (Sallallahu alayhi wa salem). She replied ‘if you told me to do a favour for a man that was of no relation to you and was bad, I would accept him because of your honour and status so if you ask me to do a favour for a man that is your relative and is honest, then how can I refuse him?’
So she employed Muhammad (Sallallahu alayhi wa salem) and send him on his first expedition accompanied by Maysara. The journey came back with more profit that usual.
On their return, Khadijah went to Maysara and asked him to tell her all the details of the expedition. Maysara said he had three stories to tell about the Muhammad (Sallallahu alayhi wa salem). He said “this man is a wonder! Even though the sun was blearing down on the people, there was a cloud in the sky and it seemed to me that it was following Muhammad. When he moved, it moved with him and when he was still or seated, it stayed above him. So I thought of a plan to test him. I asked him to have a race with me and as he ran, it followed him the whole way. So while everyone was sweating and tired from the heat, he was protected from the sun.
“The second story is stranger than the first. I found him one day sleeping under a tree under the sun. Then the tree moved its branches as if to shade him from the sun. I thought it was the wind. At that moment, a rabbi passed by and called to me. He said ‘Oh Maysara, Who is that man sleeping under the tree?’ I replied ‘he is Muhammad Ibn Abdullah, one of the traders from the land of the Haraam. He said ‘he is a Prophet. No man has ever slept under that tree except that he was a prophet.’
“The third thing that happened was that Muhammad was dealing in the market with the people. A Jewish man came and asked him the price of an item. Muhammad told him the price and the Jew began to bargain with him. The Jew said to him ‘do you swear by Allata and Aluzza (two idols that were worshipped in Jamillyya)?’. Muhammad’s face turned red and he said ‘By Allah, I swear that I never bowed to them to swear by them!’. The man took the item for the price that Muhammad said. Then he called me over and said ‘Stick to that man for he is the last Prophet!’ and was gone.”
After this incident, there is no more information in the history book about Maysara. Its amazing how Allah creates people for a specific purpose (although they may not even know it) and then they’re gone. The most important thing is that we live for Allah.
As you may imagine, Khadijah was wide eyed when she heard this news because she had some background information about this matter.
Her cousin Waraqa Ibn Nowfal would sit her down and tell her all the details of the last prophet that was found in the Torah. He was an old man with weak sight. It said in the Torah that the last prophet will come from the land of the Haraam and he’s time is soon.
Also, that once a celebration (Eid) where all the women of Quraysh gathered together to celebrate and Khadijah was among them. Suddenly, a Jewish man came into the womens’ area and said “O, women of Quraysh, the time of the last prophet is now so if you get a chance to wed him, seize it!”. The women got annoyed and insulted that he entered on them like that and began to throw stones at him- all except Khadijah. She smiled and did not touch the stones.
After these things built up in her mind, Khadijah began to pay more attention to Muhammad and enquire about him.
Khadijah had a close friend called Nafisa Bint Mounya who she related all the events to. She was the only that initiated the marriage but in the purest way.
Her friend said ‘what is on your mind?’
She replied “Muhammad Ibn Adbullah. I've never seen a man like him. He is polite and generous, he is manly and he is from a noble family but above all, he is going to be a leader and I have a feeling that he is the last prophet.”
She was the first person on the face of the earth to believe that he may be a prophet. So Nafisa said “I hope that he will become your husband. So do you give me permission to speak about the matter?”
Khadijah replied “Go ahead!”
There are a few issues that arise from this point. When Khadijah was looking for a husband, what did she look for? She looked for characteristics NOT material things. She didn’t look at how much money he had or what his car looked like or if he uses gel in his hair or if he's got a sense of humour.
She was clearly attached to him. It points out that love is not something that is wrong or sinful, it’s where it leads, if there's an outcome that is halal or haram. All those young people who fall into sin because of “love”, it is not the fault of love but it is how they obtained it. Look at what homes are built on these days. A man may fancy himself in love with a woman and marry her because she styles her hair or she's got coloured eyes and in the end it turns out that they’re lenses. (i.e. its all an illusion).
So Nafisa went to Muhammad (Sallallahu alayhi wa salem) and said to him “do you wish to marry?”
He said “I don’t have money to marry”
She replied “If we solved that problem, if money is not an issue? What if the woman is beautiful, pure, intelligent all in one, what do you say?”
He said “who are you talking about?”
Nafisa replied “Khadijah bint Khuwaylid”
He said “would she agree to that?”
She said “I’ll ask her and get back to you” (hehehe women!)
She returned to tell Khadijah and of course Khadijah was over the moon and they were married even though she was 40years old and he was 25 years old at the time.
This is truly the greatest love story of all time. Not Romeo and Juliet.
This love between them lasted after marriage for 25 years and after her death for 15 years. The same love.